A/N: Warning: This story is very random and there's not much of a point to it, at all. If no one likes it, then I won't mess around with the awesome show IZ ever again. If you think you'll dislike it's suckiness then press the back button now and choose a better story to read. For all of those who want to read a quick, random, one-shot just scroll down to the story and enjoy.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the clothes on my back, so there Sticks out tongue

Zim stands in front of Gir and begans to instruct him through song.

"Let's get down to buisness, to defeat the Dib-monkey! Did they send me an idiot, when I asked for a genious? Your the saddest thing I've ever met, but you can bet before we're through, somehow I'll make an Irken, out of you!"

Gir grins stupidly and said "I love you Zim!" then he proceeds to hug him to death, and Zim pulls him off of him with an expression of faint disgust on his face. He then proceeds to tell Gir of ways to torture and humiliate Dib, while still singing, "Tranquil as a forest, but I'm fire within. Once you find your center you are sure to win."

Gir now begans hitting his head on the wall and Zim shakes his head in dissapointment. He grabs Gir by the shoulders and says to him scornfully: "Your a spineless, pale, pathetic mut, and you haven't got a clue. Somehow I'll make a Irken out of you."

Gir laughs happily and Zim pushes a button on a screen and an image of Dib shows up. He's in his room, reading a book about Mysteries. Zim grabs a long rod and points it at the screen as a teacher would point her stick at a chalkboard, and instructed Gir through song about how to traumatize Dib.

"Be an Irken! You must tease him non-stop in school! Be an irken! You must not give away your secret of being an alien! Be an Irken! You must hit him in the head with muffins! Be an Irken! You must try to over-power him anyway you can! Be an Irken! You must make evil schemes, to eliminate man-kind and take over the puny planet earth!"

Gir actually seemed to be listning to him now and so he continued in a louder, more confident tone, "Time is racing towards us, till the Dib-monkey arrives! Heed my every order, and you might survive!"

Suddenly Gir decided to start running around the house screaming crazy, non-sensical gibberish at the top of his lungs. Zim slapped his forehead and pointed angrily at the hyper alien, yelling at him angrily,

"Your unsuited for, the reins of war, so leave now, go away, your through. How can I make an Irken out of you?!"

Gir stops running around and just stands still for a moment, staring blankly at Zim. Then he jumps out of a window and runs down the street, most likely to annoy the first person he comes accross. Zim sighs and shakes his head, before repeating a particular line of the song to himself thoughtfully,

"Be an Irken! You must tease him non-stop in school! Be an irken! You must not give away your secret of being an alien! Be an Irken! You must hit him in the head with muffins! Be an Irken! You must try to over-power him anyway you can! Be an Irken! You must make evil schemes, to eliminate man-kind and take over the puny planet earth!"

He then grins and decides to start making plans to take over earth because, after all, that's what he does best isn't it?

A/N: Okay, really random, sucky story over with. You may now start throwing your critisizing or hopefully encouraging, comments at me and I'll give you a little gift for reading this stupid thing Holds out a bag with a squirming Dib in it I have caught and bagged this little goodie up for anyone who wants him. Of course you'll have to pay me with a cookie if you want him. Preferably a chocolate chip one. Yum!