As I lay ripped open and bleeding on the floor of the Cullen's once beautiful home, the same questions played over and over in my mind. How can any one person feel so much pain at one time? How can my entire future be destroyed in one heinous act? As another scream of pain was forced out of Edward's lungs, a searing heat pierced through my broken body bringing my mind back to the horror of the present.
One Week Before – Two weeks before the wedding
I took in a deep breath. In and out. In and out. I had been staring at my hand for nearly an hour now. I loved the way it sparkled in the out of place mid day sun that Alice predicted we would have today. Usually I wouldn't be as fond of my engagement ring (it terrified me to look at it most of the time), but with the wedding so close, I just couldn't help myself. After everything we've gone through together and apart; James, Laurent, Victoria, a vampire army, Jacob Black, the Volturi, all I had to do to ensure our future together was to marry him. And the whole wedding thing hasn't been as bad as I had imagined. Alice wanted to keep me involved in the planning process, which I appreciated, but only because I could stop her before she went overboard with things like flowers, table cloths and food that only half the guests would be enjoying anyway. The only things I would be concerned about that day would be not falling and the night that would follow. Edward had promised that he would try and make love to me after we were married and thinking about that was stressful in itself. I know I had insisted on waiting, but I keep finding it more and more difficult to keep my mind off of him much less my hands. Even now all I could do to stop myself from reaching over and tracing the hard lines of his chest was to stare at my blasted ring. I shivered in the pleasure of how his cold skin would feel under my mouth when I heard a soft chuckle that brought me out of my daydream. Looking over to Edward I see him smiling crookedly at me. "What?"
"What are you thinking?" I looked away quickly my blush giving me away. "I'll miss your blush calling your bluff when you're not…" He trailed off, unable to finish. When I'm not human I thought to myself. "You realize now that you have to tell me what you're thinking." He insisted.
"I don't have to do anything. Thank you." I went to stand but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me on top of him, his lips immediately locking with mine. His kiss was not guarded, they never were anymore. It was almost as if he was tempting me to push him farther, the boundaries that he set up so early in our relationship were now gone. I gasped as I felt a cold finger tracing the top of my jeans, causing me to break our kiss and involuntarily buck my hips against him. A low growl rumbled in his chest as I felt him harden, grinding his hips against me as he grabbed my ass and in one swift motion flipped us over so that he was above me leaning on his elbows which were on either side of my head. He dragged his knee up between my legs and rubbed it gently against my core causing me to arch up toward him, moaning softly. "Edward! We can't!" I gasped trying to focus on my train of thought. He stopped but left his knee pushed against me so if I relaxed my body, pleasure would shoot through me.
"Do you not want me?" He whispered into my ear then leaning down to kiss the hollow below it. I relaxed and immediately arched up towards him again, that damn knee would be my downfall!
Moaning against his ear I tried to form a proper sentence in response. "Of all the stupid questions Edward! You know I want you." With that he growled a moan of pleasure and began moving his knee tortuously slow against me. I reacted and brought my leg up which rubbed against him, I sucked in my gasp, he felt huge and he was so hard. I moaned against him again. "Edward I want you." I whispered. Slowly I begin dragging my hand down his bare chest to the bulge in his pants, just as I was imagining earlier. I smiled as his hand pushed up my shirt, his fingers racing up and down the side of my stomach. I pulled him by the waist of jeans closer to me grinding up against him just as his fingertips reached the bottom of my breasts, slipping under my bra. We were both moaning in pleasure when his pants started vibrating. We stopped and stared into each other's eyes for a split second before I ruined the moment. "Um, is that just another vampire thing I didn't know about or…?"
Edward smiled huge. "No, that's Alice."
"Alice? What?" Not moving off of me Edward took his hand that was grasping my bra and reached into the pocket of his jeans, pulling out his cell phone. Ok, now I felt stupid, my face was scarlet and Edward just smiled at me.
"Alice." He answered. "We were just relaxing…" pausing he glanced at me laying red faced under him, still not in control of my breathing. "Enjoying out time alone…Well if you know what we are really doing then why did you ask me?" I then tuned out the rest of the conversation to embarrassed to care. How was I going to be able to control myself until our wedding night? I could barely control myself now with his half naked body so close, and he's talking to his sister who already saw how far we would have gone. Wait. If she was calling to stop us then that would mean... Edward was about to make love to me and judging by the casual comments between the two of them I would have been fine. I would have survived and I know it would have been mind numbing. The foreplay alone was enough to send me over the edge just thinking about it. I looked up at him finally realizing that had put his phone away. I smiled. "Will you tell me what you're thinking? Please?"
"Um…that we shouldn't…" I softly answered, turning my face away so that he didn't see the unconvincing look plastered on my face. I wanted nothing more than for him to continue his steady torture on my body.
"Alice was calling to…"
"Stop us from doing something you'll regret later?" I mumbled to myself. Edward cupped his hand under my chin pulling my face to his own and placing his lips on my forehead. He kissed it and breathed slowly against it so that I could do nothing else but listening to his unneeded breathing.
"When will you understand Bella? How can I make you see how amazing you are, how much you mean to me? Can't you see and feel the effect you have over me? I thought it was pretty apparent." I moved my legs up under me to get up but in the process brushed against his hard on causing him to hiss and spring to his feet. I looked up after him and he was gone.
"Edward? I'm sorry! That was an accident I swear it was! Edward?!" My voice rose an octave as I searched the edge of the surrounding woods desperately for his topaz eyes, but finding nothing. "Edward!" I shouted his name and could feel my body start to shake in fear, he couldn't have left me again over something so simple. He promised never to leave me unless I asked him to, and I definitely didn't want that! Thinking about our time apart sent a tremor through my chest that I will never be able to suppress. I slid back down to the ground putting my head between my legs and trying to concentrate on breathing again. He wasn't gone. He wouldn't leave me again. Oh god! Just keep breathing! My arms flung themselves around my legs, pulling them closer to me.
"Bella?" I froze. Two strong cold arms pulled me closer, into a strong embrace. "Bella? Bella what happened? What's wrong? Bella?" Edward placed his hands on either side of my face forcing me to look at him, his eyes pleading. "Bella." He whispered my name.
"You left." He started laughing aloud. I don't know what he thought was so funny and I tried to shoot him a scornful look. "I thought you left me." Again I added in my head. He suddenly stopped laughing and looked right into my eyes.
"Bella. I promised you that I would never leave you and I intend to keep that promise until you send me away." Instinctively I grabbed onto his shirt, he'd have to pry my fingers from him in order to get away from me. "However, there are certain times where I need um…a human moment for lack of a better phrase." I looked at him my expression puzzled. He suddenly looked very uncomfortable. "Bella…I'm still a man." Neither of our expressions changed and Edward looked sheepishly away. "You felt the response my body has for you, I couldn't walk around like that for the rest of the day, and it's quite uncomfortable when you don't take care of the uh problem right away." It took me a minute of listening to his mumbling to figure out what he was talking about. Sitting in his lap I realized that his hard on was gone. Oh. Now I felt like an idiot and had to quickly look away from him, seeing as I was staring at his crotch. I need to stop jumping to conclusions so quickly. I burst out laughing. Edward now looked hurt, confusion clinging to his face.
"That didn't take very long. I hope it's not over that quickly when we do make love." Edward stood and brought me up with him. He moved his hands to my ass and lifted me up to meet his lips, my legs wrapping around his cold body. He kissed me with such force that if I was standing it would have knocked me over. All my breath left my lungs and the blood rushed to my head. Then ever so softly I felt his tongue trace my bottom lip and he tightened his hold on me, pulling my ass closer to him and moaning. My hands reached up grabbing his hair and trying to hold him to me. Still moaning he loosened his grasp of my body and moved his nose down so that his forehead was on my chin.
"Bella I promise when I do make love to you, you won't remember your name. The things that I want to do to you, the ways I imagine pleasuring you." He broke off; I could feel his hard on growing against me and in response I was getting wet, I know he could smell my arousal and he smirked. "I don't know how much longer I will be able to stop myself from claiming you. But I doubt I have much self control left. As I said before, I'm a very selfish being." He began to softly kiss his way down to my neck when his pants started to vibrate again. I giggled and he tossed me over his shoulder and brought out his phone in one swift movement. "We're on our way Alice, just finishing up." I definitely wasn't finished I thought to myself grabbing onto Edward as he took off into the woods toward the house.
A/N: I am not Stephanie Meyer, I do not claim to be and will never claim to be (although I do imagine myself as Bella quite often)
Many special thanks, hugs and kisses go to my most awesome non-beta Beta Lily Watson...THANK YOU FIREFLY!!