Burritos and Babbling
A Buffy the Vampire Slayer Fanfiction Story
Author: Jason Thompson
October 22, 2001

Disclaimer: Once upon a time there was a guy he wrote a story with characters and settings
he didn't own, but he put a disclaimer on his story and that made it a little less illegal. BTVS and
Angel are owned by Joss, Fox, Mutant Enemy, UPN and the WB. I don't own anything except
the situation characters are in.

Category: Fred/Xander and Anya/Xander, some mentions of Angel/Fred


Warnings: None

Summary: Fred tries to cheer up Xander.

Rating: PG for very mild language.

Distribution: Ask First.


Dedication: Dedicated to the usual suspects; Bri, Mary, Duchess, Dale, Blaire, Stone Cold,
Ice Wing, Arashi, Aslan, Vega, Jen Zimmer, Louise, Sairs, Tony D, and Queen Angel who have
allowed me to bounce my ideas off them, and Krac, cause she has the evil bunny slippers

Burritos and Babbling

Fred watched him with great interest. Xander Harris had perplexed her. When Angel had said
they were going to Sunnydale for Buffy's birthday party, she had asked a barrage of questions to
Angel Cordelia and Wesley, since they had been there before. Most anything she could think to
ask: Where was Sunnydale? Was it a small town? Were the people friendly? What's a
Hellmouth? Why did people live there if it was a Hellmouth? Did Buffy close the Hellmouth
permanently? Did she have friends? What were her friends like? Etc, etc.

Of course, they told her all about Buffy and her friends. Buffy was the Vampire Slayer. Willow
and her girlfriend, were witches. Mr. Giles was Buffy's Watcher. Dawn was her sister, sort of.
Then there was Xander, who was a normal person, but he fought anyway. They told her a great
deal about each of them. So much that by the time she arrived in Sunnydale, Fred had certain
expectations of each of them. Fred was pleased to find that her expectations were met
completely. Except for one person, Xander.

From everything Cordelia and Angel had told Fred, she had expected Xander to be nice and for
him to be funny and make jokes so she'd laugh. In short, she had expected him to be the life of
the party. What she found, was the sullen and upset man that was sitting in the far corner of
Buffy's living room. That was confusing for Fred. How could her expectations of the others be
so easily met, and she could be so wrong about Xander? Did Cordelia and Angel mislead her?
No, why would they do that?

When she couldn't explain her miscalculations to herself, she decided to ask one of Xander's other
friends. She asked Willow why Xander seemed upset, hoping that she wasn't confused and this
was the new way Xander acted. What she learned only upset her further. It seemed Xander been
engaged to a woman named Anya, two months ago they were supposed to get married. However,
it seemed Anya had other plans, because when the organist played, "Here Comes the Bride" Anya
never came. "Left at the Altar" was the expression Willow used. Fred never understood that
particular expression, Xander wasn't left there. If they used that expression to refer to Anya, it
might make more sense…

It was like "Have your cake and eat it too," of course you'd have your cake and eat it too. It
should be "EAT your cake and HAVE it too…"

Fred sighed, she was even babbling in her head.

Now all the things she had overheard Cordelia and Angel say about Anya in the last two months
made so much more sense. They were angry with her, and rightly so. Why would this Anya
character agree to Marry Xander, if she was just going to run off the day of the Wedding? It's not
very nice, but if Anya was a "Big Stupid Bitch" like Cordelia said, maybe that was Anya's point.

After Willow told her what happened, Fred asked why he was still so sad. Willow said it takes
time, and that Xander would feel better when he was ready. Fred wasn't very happy with that
answer. If Fred was depressed, she knew her friends would make it their mission to see to it she
felt better. Fred decided she would make it her mission to see to it that Xander felt better, at least
for a while.

Fred took a deep breath, pushed her glasses off the tip of her nose, squared her shoulders and
crossed the room towards Xander.


Xander sighed as he looked out the window, it was Buffy's birthday party. Xander wasn't that
interested in having fun at the moment though. He found himself still neck deep in a dark,
brooding depression. It wasn't like anyone could blame him. He'd pushed Anya away only to
realize he'd done so when he got the note from Anya, postmarked from New York City. She had
chosen to leave that day so that he'd have a taste of the pain he'd caused her for all those months
while he forced her to keep their engagement a secret.

His friends had finally taken the hint a few weeks earlier. They were still around for him, and
they tried to make sure he was included and they took him out with them, but they were no longer
trying to force him to cheer up still. Then again he was the walking Black Death anymore. He
was more of the "silently brood and don't bring my friends down with me" guy.

The couch he was sitting on shifted and Xander turned to find a dark haired young woman sitting
Indian style next to him. She smiled and adjusted her glasses, "Hi." Xander vaguely recalled
Willow saying she came up with Angel and Cordelia, but he wasn't really paying attention then.
"May I sit here?" She had the faintest hint of a southern accent.

Xander shrugged, "If you'd like. It's a free country."

The young woman smiled, "Thank you. My name's Fred."

Xander nodded, "Xander."

"I know. Angel and Cordelia told me about everyone. How Buffy's the slayer and she's like the
leader of your group, she's very strong and Cordelia says 'she's a bleach bottle blonde that's not
fooling any one.' Willow's really smart and a witch and a member of 'the Indigo Girls fan club'
whatever that means. They told me that you do construction work, and that you're nice and
funny, and that you were the class clown… and I'm babbling aren't I?"

Xander couldn't help it when a grin pulled at his lips, "Just a little."

"Why aren't you with the others?"

"Someone has to be the party pooper, it's my turn."

Fred smiled, "That's not true. I'm sure if you wanted, you could have fun… I mean it's not that
hard. There's television and music and dancing. I like to dance, I'm not very good at it, but then
again, before a couple of months ago, I hadn't heard music in five years, or had ice cream. Or
tacos. You want tacos? I'd like some, we could go to Taco Bell, I saw one when we were driving
into town…"

Xander shrugged, "I guess I could go for some Taco Hell right about now. Grab your purse if
you have one and we'll go."

Fred smiled widely and giggled, "Okay." Xander watched Fred jump off the couch and run over
to Cordelia and grab her purse before pointing in his direction and Cordelia nodded and smiled
before Fred… well Xander wouldn't really call it walking, it was more like skipping. It was kind
of endearing actually, "I'm ready."

Xander stood up and offered Fred his elbow, "We're off then."


"…Burritos are okay, and I like other kinds of food. Like Pizza and egg rolls , and ice cream, I
like Superman ice cream, but I already told you I like Ice cream, didn't I? Does ice cream count
as a food? Tacos are my favorite though, I could eat those every day for the rest of my life.
Angel says there's this authentic Mexican restaurant, that he wants me to try. I might sometime,
but for now Taco Bell is fine."

Xander just nodded, taking in everything Fred was saying, no matter how much there might be.
She just kept talking and talking, he would have thought her tongue would get tired or her throat
would hurt, but she continued to prove him wrong. They step up to the counter and the clerk
smiled, "May I take your order?"

Xander looked the menu board over and shrugged, "I'll take two chicken burritos and a large
Mountain Dew." He handed the girl a ten.

The girl smiled, and turned to Fred, "And you miss?"

Fred smiled, "I'd like six regular tacos please, and medium hot sauce."

"To drink?"

"A Medium Pepsi." Fred smiled and handed the clerk her money. "Thank you." Fred turned to
Xander she found him giving her a shocked look, she flushed slightly and said, "What?"

Xander gestured towards the tacos being piled up on Fred tray, "You know I'm not going to help
you eat all those right?"

Fred smiled, "Oh no, I wouldn't let you anyways. I have five years of catch-up eating when it
comes to tacos." Xander and Fred walked over to one of the tables by the window and sat down,
while Fred continued to talk, "I could eat a million tacos. I love them, back on Pylea, that's the
demon world I stayed on, I tried to make them with tree bark, it didn't turn out too well."

Xander smiled, "I can't imagine them being much worse then the ones on your tray."

Fred smiled and opened her first taco and squirted a package of hot sauce on her taco, "Oh no,
these are great I could eat a million of them. But I don't want to eat too many at once, and get fat.
Not that being fat would be horrible or anything… I mean it might be nice to be a little plump and
have chubby cheeks, I'd have extra layers of warmth in the winter. But I'd have to buy new


Fred continued without pausing, "And if I started getting too fat for my clothes, I might get
depressed and start eating even more…"


Fred didn't stop, "Though I read somewhere, that some guys like girls who are chubby."


Fred looked up, "Huh?"

Xander smiled at her warmly, "Eat your tacos Fred."

Fred blushed, "Okay." She picked up her taco and started eating.

Xander shook his head, and bit into his food as well. He chewed and swallowed, "I think you
would still be very pretty if you gained some weight Fred."

Fred smiled widely, "Really? Like how fat? A little fat, like my cheeks are a little puffy, or I
have a little belly? Or really fat, where my cheeks puff out like this," Fred blew air into her
cheeks until they puffed out. Xander couldn't help but laugh loudly at the sight of her. "Like

Xander shook his head and took a sip of his Mountain Dew. "You are too much Fred."

"Everybody says that."


Xander took the cap off his pop as they walked down the sidewalk through downtown Sunnydale,
he drank the last of his pop and pitched the cup in a waste basket as he passed one. Fred however
had not stopped talking, "… Buffy was kind of mean to me, she said I talk too much. I don't
think I talk too much. Do you think I talk too much? I mean sometimes when I'm nervous, I just
talk, talk, talk. Y'know, I go on and on and on and then I start going off on tangents and people
look at me like I've lost my…" Fred suddenly found herself interrupted rather rudely by Xander's
lips covering hers. Her eyes widened in shock for a moment before her arms slid around him and
she closed her eyes.

She felt Xander pull away and when she opened her eyes Xander was standing in front of her
smiling. Fred smiled shyly and Xander adjusted her glasses, she suddenly giggled nervously.
"Umm… Why did you kiss me?"

Xander suddenly blushed and looked away, "I uh… I well, you said you were nervous, and you
looked so cute and I thought maybe you were nervous because… Never mind. I'm sorry."

Fred smiled, "No… I liked it." She giggled, "It's like that show I used to watch, Friends. I hear
it's still on, but Angel watches Smackdown and he has the only television. Angel lets me hang
out in his room all the time. He has this leather chair there that is so big and soft, he says I look
tiny in it, and lots of times I fall asleep in it." Fred started blushing bright red, "Am I blushing?
Cause I really liked that kiss."


"It was really nice, and your lips taste like Mountain Dew. I like Coca Cola though, but they
don't serve it at Taco Bell so Cordelia usually drives us over to McDonald's cause the fountain
pop is better than from the can… Did you used to date Cordelia?"


Xander and Fred started walking again, "Well, Cordelia was really angry when she heard about
you and Anya, she called Anya a 'Big Stupid Bitch' she said you didn't deserve that no matter
what happened between you and her. Sometimes, when she thinks no one is looking, she pulls a
picture of you two out and when she looks at it she sighs, like this," Fred sighed in a sad manner,
"Just like that. I think she's sad cause you two aren't still friends, cause I think she likes Angel.
But Angel isn't really over Buffy, and he has a crush on this dark haired Lawyer named Lilah. I
had a crush on Angel for a while, he protected me and saved me on Pylea. But he thinks of me
like a little sister but that's okay…"

Fred suddenly stopped, "You could come live with me and Angel at the Hyperion. There's plenty
of room and you and Angel and I could get ice cream. There's this really good ice cream parlor
that's really close by way of the sewer access. I like the sewers they remind me of my cave in
Pylea. You'd like the hotel Xander, but the rooms are kind of small. Cordelia says you are in
construction. You could just knock down a wall and turn two rooms into one."

"I don't know Fred, Angel and I aren't that close…"

"That's okay, Angel says he respects you and Cordelia and Wesley were talking about how much
better you two would probably get along if you hadn't been competing over Buffy."

Xander reached over and took Fred's hand in his, "That's probably true. You want to have some
ice cream and watch a movie with me Fred?"

Fred blushed bright red, "Okay."


"… And when we were watching the movie he let me lean against him, and he draped an arm
across my shoulders, and his finger kind of moved up and down my arm and that tickled. Then
when we finished watching Office Space, Xander made up the couch and he took me to his room.
And he gave me a T-shirt and it was huge and red, and it said, Incubus. Xander says they're a
band, and he played one of their CDs this morning. His T-shirt smelled just like him and it was
so soft, and he let me sleep in his bed, he slept on the couch. His pillow and his blanket smelled
like him too, and I suppose that's true cause it's his bed."

Angel listened as Fred seemed to recount even the most minor detail of the night she and Xander
had spent. He'd walked in the middle of Fred's retelling, but Cordelia and Wesley had apparently
been there far longer. "Then, Xander woke me up the next morning, and he made pancakes, they
were chocolate chip pancakes. Xander let me have some of the chocolate chips. And he put
strawberry jam on his pancakes, and Xander handed me my plate and said," Fred paused and
then spoke in a loose approximation of Xander, "'Eat them all, or there will be no TV' It was so
funny. Then we watched Jerry Springer and we went to the park, and when we walked there
Xander held my hand and our fingers were intertwined, and I leaned against him, and he felt so

Cordelia leaned towards Wesley, "It looks like Fred has a new crush…"

Angel raised an eyebrow, "How can you tell?"

"Cause that's how she usually talks about things you two do."

"…Then when he dropped me off here, he hugged me and I smelled his chest and I heard him
smell my hair. Then he kissed me, right here," She touched the tip of her nose, "And I laughed
and blushed, and can Xander live with us at the hotel? Angel?"