Disclaimer: Naruto, Stargate: SG-1 and all other assorted anime or TV series involved in this crossover are the property of their respective owners. No profit is being made on this work.

Naruto emerged from the Stargate shivering slightly. It had felt weird this time... He looked up and quickly surveyed his new surroundings.

Lots of men dressed like the four people he'd met and with bigger versions of the weapons they wielded stood on the ground floor of the large, concrete room. Naruto looked up, jaw dropping as he saw the walls of the room go up, and up, and up until he could barely see the roof. Looking straight ahead, he could see a room through large windows, perhaps a control center of some sort, with a bald guy standing like he was the one in charge.

"Naruto," the guy wearing glasses spoke. He turned and looked over at him. His name was Daniel, he knew that much.


He spotted a short redheaded woman in a white robe enter the room.

"This is Healer Frasier... She's going to look at you and make sure you're healthy," Daniel spoke. Naruto blinked. The language was a little weirder than he was used to, but he found he could understand it fairly well.

"Eh? But I feel fine!

"It's so we make sure you don't get sick from us, or us from you," Daniel explained. Naruto scowled.

"But I'm not sick!"

The guy named Jack (who Naruto obviously couldn't forget) turned to Naruto and reached out a hand.

"We all get exams after every mission... Checkups. It's a pain, but what are you going to do?" He gave Naruto a knowing smile. Naruto looked over at Frasier, who looked on disapprovingly, almost like Tsunade-baa-chan back home. At Jack's innocent look, Naruto couldn't help but crack a smile.

Maybe doctors are the same everywhere? He thought, and allowed himself to be led away. The rest of the team followed behind, talking amongst themselves in that other language. Weird... It almost sounded like he could understand it...

"-when were you going to tell me you could speak Japanese?" Daniel asked flatly.

"When you wouldn't want me to help you with translation," Jack returned.

"Seriously sir, how'd you pick that up?" Sam asked, bringing up the rear. She caught him looking and smiled back.

"Oh, here and there..."

"And how many languages do you actually speak?" Daniel asked.

"A couple..."


"What? You love translating! You live for translating!"

"Yes, yes, but I could always use more help!"

"Daniel, do you really want me around all the time, working over your shoulder?"

"You hang around all the time anyway, you would just be working."

"Well that's no fun," Jack said. "Besides, I don't speak many other languages than Japanese..."

"He helps Cassandra with her German and Spanish classes," Doctor Frasier spoke, as they all entered a room with beds on wheels, curtains, and equipment everywhere. Naruto pegged it as an infirmary, while Jack looked positively betrayed.

"Doc! You promised!"

"Daniel, can you tell him-?" Janet asked. Daniel nodded.

"Naruto, she needs you to-"

"Get on the bed, right?" Naruto asked. He hopped up and grinned. "I've been to the doctor's before."

"He says he's been to the doctor's before," Daniel supplied. He glared at Jack, who shrugged.

"All right... Tell him I'm going to test his eyes," Janet said.

"Don't mind the writing light of doom, it's just a simple test" Jack translated. Naruto blinked.

"Huh? Writing light of-ACK!" He shut his eyes tightly as Frasier shined a very bright light into them. "Hey! What the hell?"

"It's to test your eyes," Daniel quickly said. "Just relax... We're all going through it."

Jack looked dramatically frightened, which made Naruto chuckle. He tolerated the remaining tests, up until she produced a needle.

"Oh no," Naruto said, backing away. "No way!"

Dr. Frasier recognized the fear, and, in a way so like Baa-chan, she gave him a disapproving look.

"Daniel, can you-?"

"It's just a simple test," Daniel said quickly. "Won't hurt a bit."

"No way! I'm not letting that vampire have my blood!" He looked to Carter, who was being tested nearby, and gave her puppy dog eyes.

"Big Sister Sam, don't let her take my blood!"

"It's not going to hurt you, I promise," Sam said comfortingly. She got up and placed a hand on his shoulder, and smiled.

"Just relax," Jack added from his own bed. Teal'c sat nearby, looking a bit comical with a thermometer in his mouth. Naruto grumbled, but grudgingly held out his arm.

"Good, all right..." The doctor slid the needle into the crook of his elbow, and began drawing blood. Naruto had seen enough of his own to be very disinterested, and he breathed a sigh of relief when it was over.

"And for being so very patient..." Frasier produced a lollipop and handed it to Naruto. The blonde sniffed the candy, then opened it up. He grinned.

"Hey, thanks Big Sister Frasier!" He began sucking on the lollipop. Daniel and Sam looked over at the doctor.

"What? It works wonders on children, and my more difficult patients," Janet said defensively.

"Well, it's just that you never give us lollipops when we visit," Sam said. Janet sighed.

"If I did, I'd probably be buying out entire candy stores..."

"We don't get injured that much," Jack whined from his bed. Janet just shot him a glare, as Naruto enjoyed the strange but definitely nice candy.

Maybe being lost on other planets wasn't so bad...

Sorry for the short update... But it's better than nothing, right?