"I'm sure that we're going to get on well," Kyouraku Shunsui beamed at his new vice-captain.
He had taken pains to make a good impression on her. He was sitting upright. He'd even cleared his desk. (He'd present her with the pile of paperwork from behind the couch later once she had settled in.)
His new vice-captain adjusted her glasses. They glinted. "Of course, sir," she said in profoundly neutral tones. "I will assist you in all ways possible."
"No doubt we'll find that we have a lot in common." He leaned forward. "My previous vice-captain and I both enjoyed sharing our studies in comparative literature . . ."
The temperature in the room dropped several perceptible degrees. "I am aware of the lady's tastes in literature, sir," Ise Nanao said, thin-lipped. "I do not share them."
"What, not at all?"
"Not even the slightest little bit?"
"Not even occasionally glancing over something that might possibly involve --"
"No, sir," Ise Nanao said, interrupting her Captain for the first time in her career.
Kyouraku Shunsui had not been a Captain for two thousand years (or so, it was easier to round it up than to try to remember the exact details, and it impressed the ladies more) without learning a few things about human nature.
He laid his trap carefully and delicately.
Several weeks later, Ise Nanao was still gliding around his office with the same air of icy rectitude. She had made a valiant attempt to tidy the place up. It hadn't succeeded.
". . . and furthermore, Captain," she finished, standing stiffly upright with the Division Accounts book tucked under one arm, "you need to sign off the requisition forms for laundry, Hell Butterflies, and zanpakutou sheath repair."
"I don't remember seeing these earlier," Kyouraku muttered, trying to make sense of the papers.
"No, sir," she said. "That was because your previous vice-captain used to forge your signature on them."
"Oh," he said in tones of enlightenment. "Well, in that case, perhaps my lovely Nanao-chan would --"
"No, sir," Nanao said patiently.
"Oh, very well." He dashed off a few signatures. "And that reminds me, Nanao-chan . . ."
"Will you be wanting any other books by the authors of -- let me see, which ones -- oh yes, The Ravishment of Rosalie, The Virgin and the Pirate, The Lustful Captain, and Chalet School Discipline?"
Nanao went red, then white, then red again. "I -- that is, um -- I didn't -- you can't prove it --"
"Proof is not needed, Nanao-chan," he murmured, "when I can check to see which of my books have been moved. A man can resist a woman, and a Captain can resist a jug of wine, but I have never yet known a bookworm who could resist a book left lying around in front of them."
And Ise Nanao hit her Captain with the Division Accounts book.
For the first time in her career.