This is Edward's POV. It's been a few months since he left Bella… onward…
God. It had to be suckish to be around me now. I moped, as Alice would put it. I hated that I had to leave my Bella, but it was for her safety! That made it ok… right? I hated staying in one place for long. It reminded me of her no matter how far away I got from that dreaded town.
so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
It had been 3 months, 2 days, 5 hours, and 23 seconds since I left her, and every minute felt like hell. Not being able to touch her warm skin, or see her cute blush. It tortured me to see her broken face in my so-called dreams. They were more like nightmares, reminding me that I was the one that caused her pain.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
I began to remember how I was always there to wake her up when she had a nightmare, or when she got emotional over something, I was the one to help her through it to an extent. Now, she was gone, and I couldn't do anything like that ever again.
you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
It was as if she had my every fiber in her hands, and she was just teasing me from a distance, never allowing me to get close, but of course, that was a lie. I did that more than she did. Now, when I closed my eyes, I only saw her broken expression, and when I tuned everybody else out, I heard her words. "You…don't…want me?" It killed me inside to know that I ripped her delicate human heart to pieces like that.
You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind
Alice and Rose tried to tell me it was for the best, but I read their thoughts! They wanted to go back just as much as I did! I knew that her face haunted them too. I knew they wanted me to go back and help her and make everything ok now.
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
Of course, I couldn't do that. I promised her I would stay out of her life for good. "It will be as if I never existed." I had to at least give her one promise that I could keep. If not, I was no more than a heart breaker.
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
I knew of one way to end this. I would go to Italy, and beg for death. Bella wouldn't haunt me in my mind if I were dead. And she wouldn't have to think I broke another promise.
It's my first songfic, so yea… it probably sucks… who cares though… I think it's good for a first… read and review plz….