A Twilight Fanfic
Bella Swan did something horrible, or at least that is what everyone thinks. What really happened that night at the party? Who can she tell when she can't even admit it herself? ExB RxEm AxJ ALL HUMAN
Based on the book by Sarah Dessen
Disclaimer: The characters and events portrayed in this story are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Characters in this story do not belong to the author. The author does not own the rights to the saga, nor the rights to anything else. No copyright infringement intended.
Rated M for graphic content and strong language
A/N: Child-ofGod13 is such a great beta. She has stuck with me through all my stories and makes me laugh with her random PMs. thank you.
Chapter 1. I Can Feel Them Watching
It was school time again, and it seemed like everything that had happened last year was repeating itself, but then I looked around again and I saw that everything had changed.
When I got to school half the people ignored me and the other half just stared. They knew what had happened, or at least what Rosalie had told them. I didn't know that it would spread so fast. It had happened just months ago, but it was in the summer. I mean, how did the whole high school know, already, on the first day back?
I sighed as I put my books in my locker; I could already tell it was going to be a really long day.
Before I shut the door to my locker I quickly looked in the mirror and made sure my outfit and make-up was perfect. I still cared what people thought of me. I guess it just rubbed off on me because I spent every second of every day with Rosalie. I hoped it would change, since that wouldn't be happening anymore.
It was weird, but no matter what Rosalie did to me—no matter how much she hurt me, I always wanted to be her friend, even after this. It was just something she did to me when I was around her. She made me feel important, like I was beautiful for once in my life. But look where that got me. I should have just stuck to my insecure, non-popular, bookworm self, instead of going off and being something I'm not—someone I wanted to be.
I let my mind wonder back to my outfit, something I had purposely just thrown on the morning. I tried to not care what people thought, but it was just something I had done for so long, it wasn't going away any time soon—if it even was at all.
I was wearing a gray Hollister shirt and some shorts from the same place. But of course, I looked pretty good. I really hadn't tried to actually put on a decent outfit. I guess that I had putting on great stuff for so long it was also a habit, just like the caring what people think.
I went to class as slowly as I could without being late. I wanted to enjoy the only time I would have before I would see Rosalie. She was in more half my classes this year. That's karma for you.
Finally the bell rang after five minutes, but it seemed as if someone had hit the fast forward button on my life. I wasn't ready for this. What if he was in there? I knew Rosalie would be, but I couldn't take it if they were both there, waiting for me.
I shuddered, thinking of Mike's face. I had always wanted him; even though I knew it was wrong. He was cute last May, but now, I pictured his face, and all I saw was the horrid play of events that had happened that night. I shoved the thought of it out my head and took a deep breath before entering the classroom.
I pushed the wooden door open. It had seemed light last year, but now I could barely open it. It was heavy to me. Then again, everything seemed deeper to me now. When I listened to music now, it seemed as if every word had a different meaning. Love didn't mean sex anymore. Love meant a feeling you felt for someone who cares about you, someone who you want to always be beside you, even in your darkest moments. Love was something I didn't have.
I looked around the room when everything finally cleared up and I didn't see him, but I saw Rosalie, sitting in front of the classroom with Angela, who had been my friend first. Just months ago, Rosalie refused to speak to Angela, but now I guess she was her new sidekick, or fellow bitch.
They were laughing, the kind of laugh when you know someone you hate is watching. It was the kind of laugh where you show that person just how much they are missing, and how much you don't care that they are gone.
I sat down in the back of the room in the farthest seat away from Rosalie. I couldn't help but stare at her, and stare at her neck, which held the necklace he had given her. I remembered the night he gave it to her.
"Oh, Mike, it is so beautiful." She had said to him. He gave her the locket on their four-month anniversary, the one I hadn't even been invited to, but I still went. Well, not exactly. Rosalie set me up with Emmett Cullen that night, the guy who was totally in love with her—and she purposely made us go to the same restaurant as her and Mike. She even knew he loved her, but she played with his mind anyway. Emmett was one of my best friends. I was probably even more close to him than I was with Rosalie, but he went to college this year. He was probably the only one who would actually stand by me in this situation. I could almost hear his voice in my ear, "Put it this way, Bells, at least he wasn't ugly."
I laughed a little too loudly and several heads turned toward me. Rosalie was one of the people who didn't even flinch. Even Angela was brave enough to make eye contact with the so call 'slut' of the school.
Yep, that was the rumor going around about me. I slept with Mike Newton, the most popular guy in school. They said that I was seduced him and he had always had a little crush on me, and I him. I remembered the night much differently. I did sleep with him, but not on my own accord.
Before my thoughts went any further into the memories of that night, the bell rang and I sprang from my seat and cringed when I noticed that waiting for me outside the door was Rosalie.
I turned right, not seeing what was on the other side of the corner and Rosalie brushed her shoulder on mine. But she didn't nudge me—it was only a brush. She was too afraid to wrinkle that hundred-dollar shirt, I presume. But what really hurt me, more than any physical pain ever could is when she lowered her perfectly glossed lips close to my ear and whisper, "How is being the school's biggest slut going?"
I winced and ran straight to my locker, never looking back. I grabbed my lunch money quickly—after dropping my books and then putting those in my locker—and ran to the lunch room where I quickly grabbed a turkey sandwich, though I knew I wasn't up to eating anything at the moment.
I stood in the front of the lunchroom and looked at all the tables, seeing if I could sit with anybody—not including the druggies of the school. I was looking over to the left, staring at the table where Rosalie, Angela, Jessica…and Mike sat. I was staring into his icy blue eyes, the ones I saw in the moonlight that night, when something grabbed my butt.
I whipped around to see the quarterback, Jasper, smirking at me with his best friend, Tyler. "So," he said, "when do I get my share of this piece of ass?" He laughed and his friend started laughing so hard he almost started crying.
At that moment I almost felt like crying, because I could hear the whole lunchroom laughing behind. Tears started rolling down my face as I dropped my tray and ran out of the room and outside to where only the outsiders sat.
There was a brick wall that cut off the garden that was the same height as my waist. I sat on it, and stared at the concrete, barley aware of the people sitting next to me. My eyes were blurry, but when I looked up I could still see the two people also sitting on the wall.
One of them was sitting to the left of me. It took me a moment, but after a minute I recognized him as Edward Cullen. I had heard a lot of rumors about him, and I had never been this close to him before. I had seen him in the hall a couple times, but that was it. I didn't pay any attention to him. And when his name ever did come up in Rosalie and I's conversation, it was only to make fun of him.
The rumors weren't good, like some are. They weren't of sympathy either. I had heard one that he had gotten into numerous fights, pretty much once a week. I looked at his body, the whole 6 foot 2 inches of it, and seemed to understand why they were started. He did look a bit scary, even though he wasn't that buff and wasn't that tall. He just had some kind of a vive to him. But when I looked deep into his green eyes I could see that he was just a normal person.
I couldn't help but think that I was better than him. Rosalie had always said, every single time I was with her, "We aren't more interesting than them. We aren't prettier than them. But we do know how to have a good time, so we are better than them. And since we know this, we are officially more special than anybody."
I flinched and shivered as her voice ran through my head. It seemed as if it should have been different when we were best friends, than now when she hated me, but it wasn't. It was still sugar coated and good on the outside and when you first hear it. But then you listen to it every day and hear what it says and it becomes squeaky and annoying.
But this was different. He didn't even seem to notice me, something that never had happened before with a guy after I started hanging with Rose. He had his Ipod headphones stuck in his ears, as I couldn't help but notice he always had them. It seemed as if they were glued to his ears and he was forced to listen to music all the time, a never-ending day of songs.
I sighed and turned my head to my left and saw a person I hadn't talked to in years. Alice Cullen was a small girl, with tiny features. Ever her silky black hair was short. Her skin problems were now more, and she got contacts. She looked even more beautiful than Rosalie. She had on a blue polo and some dark skinny jeans. I heard stuff about how she loved to shop now and how she actually had good style. Angela's exact words had been, "She would be even more popular than us if she didn't read all the time. It is just creepy."
I didn't believe it then. When I was in middle school Alice and I had been a friend. But not just friends, best friends. I had never lied to her, and I told her everything. She helped me through when my father was sick and I helped her when her aunt died. She was more of a sister to me than my actually sisters.
But I had ditched her for Rosalie when she was new here. She had seemed so fun at the time, and she even still did now. But now, sitting here on the wall, alone and the biggest slut in school, for the first time—in a long time—and though, I knew she hated me, but I still just wanted to cry in Alice's arms again.
A/N: Though you already probably guessed what happened to Bella, I will explain what really happened and all the details later. Just so you know, Emmett, Edward, and Alice are siblings. Yeah, you think this chapter was dramatic. Just wait for the second one. But there won't even be a second one if you don't review.