Why is it always Daniel?
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Major Samantha Carter passed Colonel Jack O'Neill on her way out of the infirmary. He was, undoubtedly, checking up on their disabled archaeologist just as she had been only seconds before. She could see his shoulders forcibly relax as he swept into the room and barely caught his muttered, "Why is it always Daniel? I swear that guy has a giant 'kick me' sign on his back."
Sighing, she pondered the question all the way to her lab. Why was it always Daniel? He'd yet to go on a mission with a team other than SG-1 and come back uninjured (a point Jack always brought up when he repeatedly denied Daniel's requests to do so) and he wasn't excused from being injured when he was with SG-1. Not only had he obtained more injuries than both Sam and Teal'c combined, he was the only one for whom Janet had had to label an entire drawer of her filing cabinet. Hell, he'd died more times than could be counted on both hands. She shuddered to think of all the times he'd been missing, thought to be dead or done something that should have gotten him killed.
Setting aside her work, she opened up her laptop and started brainstorming. Why was it always Daniel?
By the time Sam had any sort of 'evidence' to bring forth in a briefing, Daniel was out of the infirmary, though his arm still rested in a sling. "If I may deviate slightly from the topic, sir…" Sam trailed off until Hammond nodded his assent. "Well, I've been thinking about your question from before, Colonel, and I think I might have found something."
"Oh?" Jack asked in his 'I'm going to pretend that made sense' voice.
"What question, Major?" Hammond interrupted.
"Why is it always Daniel?"
This question caught Daniel's attention and he raised his head from skimming the report on their next mission. "Excuse me?"
Sam had the grace to blush. "Well, you do seem to… um…"
As she floundered, Jack slipped in, "Shit happens and it usually happens to you, Daniel." In response, Daniel just blinked.
"As I was saying," Sam continued as she saw her chance slipping away. "After discussing it at length with Doctor Fraiser, she mentioned that there was a slight anomaly in your DNA and well, before that mission, you'd been reassessing the value of using the code of basic elements found on Earnest Littlefield's planet to establish contact with some of the worlds in which the language barriers had been insurmountable. Now, you said you'd managed to configure close approximations to words using this technique." She slid a folder across the table, "It's the anomaly in your blood. Can you read it?"
Daniel didn't open the folder for a minute and had instead taken to staring at Sam. "This is crazy." He announced.
"We have seen stranger things, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c finally contributed, curious himself about Sam's theories.
"Just humor us, Daniel." Jack added.
Looking at them all as if they were completely bonkers, Daniel finally conceded and flipped open the folder, looking carefully at the images for several minutes. He looked around himself at all his friends quickly and Jack was almost certain it was his less embarrassing way of rubbing his eyes in disbelief; the disbelief was clearly readable on his face. He stared at the folder for several minutes more before Jack had had enough and leaned in closer, whispering, "What's it say?"
Daniel started, though he'd been completely aware of Jack's presence and licked his lips, once, twice, three times before responding. "It says," Daniel cleared his throat, "It says, 'kick me.'"