Chapter one: The Pirate Captain
Disclaimer: I don't own any material contained within this story. All copyrighted content remains the property of the person, people, or organization that holds the copyright. This story is solely for fun.
It was nearly sunup, and Seras was just going into the kitchen to grab one last meal before she went to bed. The evening's activities had been exhausting, and she needed some blood to recuperate. They'd had another fight with Anderson, and Seras had been repeatedly cut and stabbed before Alucard deemed to interfere and start blasting away at the priest. Master sure took his sweet time. Seras huffed as she remembered her master's comment. "But Police Girl, if I always do all the fighting how are you ever going to learn?" Her master could be such a smug, arrogant jerk at times.
Seras walked into the kitchen and flipped on the light. She didn't really need to. She could see just as well in the dark, but it was a habit. She opened up one of the refrigerators and pulled out a pack of blood. Normally, she would've emptied the contents into a bowl and used a spoon to eat it. Seras often pretended that it was nothing more than Tomato Soup. The taste was, of course, very different, but they looked fairly close to one another. And somehow pretending that she was only eating soup, made the vampire feel more normal, more human.
However tonight she was too worn out for such self delusions. She sunk her fangs into the pouch and drank it dry. It shriveled up like an empty Capri Sun pouch. Seras leaned against the wall and closed her eyes as the life giving blood took it's effect on her. Her wounds vanished, and Seras felt a slight buzz. She opened her eyes again only to see a strange looking man tip toeing through the kitchen.
Seras just stared at the man for a moment. His hair was long, unwashed and tied into dread locks. His clothes looked like something out of a pirate movie, and Seras was fairly certain that the man was wearing eyeliner.
What on earth is this Man doing in Integra's kitchen? "Hey you!"
The pirate stopped for a moment and looked around. After seeing no one else in the room, he pointed to himself and mouthed, "Me?"
"Yes, you in the ridiculous hat, what do you think you're doing here."
The pirate spoke. "Wait a minute. You can see me?" He seemed positively amazed.
"Of course I can see you, you're standing right in front of me."
"That be true, love, but I'm dead."
"You maybe, if you don't tell me what you're doing here. Integra tends to take intruders very seriously."
"No, I mean I'm really dead." To prove his point, the pirate put his hand through a counter top.
Seras jumped back. "You... You really are dead?"
"Afraid so, love. I went down with my ship hundreds of years ago. Oh, she was a beautiful ship, the Black Pearl, perhaps you've heard of her."
Seras, still trying to recover, simply replied. "No, I'm afraid not." Am I actually seeing a dead pirate? Well I am a vampire, so I guess I'm technically dead myself. Maybe that means I can see other dead people?
"Such a shame. She was truly a wonder to behold, fastest ship on the sea."
"I'm sure she was, Mr.?"
"Captain, actually. Captain Jack Sparrow at your service." The pirate took off his hat and bowed. "And you would be?" Jack stood up and put his hat back on.
"Seras, Seras Victoria."
"Victoria? Such a pretty name." Jack took Seras's hand and kissed it.
Did this ghost just kiss my hand? "Mister Sparrow..."
"Captain! That's Captain Sparrow, love."
"Okay, Captain Sparrow, what exactly are you doing in Integra's kitchen?"
"Doing? What am I doing? Oh yes, give me a minute. I was just so surprised that someone could see me, I'm afraid I forgot what I came in here for. Um, oh yes, rum. I'm looking for the rum."
"Rum? Why would a ghost need rum?"
"I don't need it. I can quit anytime I want to." Jack let out a chuckle. "I just don't want to. Now, on to the rum."
Seras watched the ghost. By the way he was moving, she guessed that he'd already had more than his fair share of alcohol. Who would've thought a ghost could get drunk and stagger around like an idiot? "Captain Sparrow, I'm afraid that we don't have any rum."
"No rum?" Jack spoke as if the girl had just confessed to some unspeakable, unthinkable sin. He recovered, though, then leaned in to whisper into her ear. "You're not a port girl, are you? I hate port, but I guess I'll drink it if there's nothing else."
"No, I'm not a port girl." Seras sounded insulted. "I don't drink." She remembered the blood packet still clutched in her hand. "Well, I don't drink alcohol at least."
"Don't drink!" Once again, Jack sounded shocked. "Next thing, you'll tell me you're still a virgin."
Seras blushed and looked down. "It's not polite to talk about such things."
"Oh this is just great." Jack looked up. "Well played, well played. Send me to limbo and deprive me of human contact for hundreds of years. Then let me find someone who can see me, a beautiful young woman to boot, only to discover that she's an uptight virgin, committed to sobriety. Oh yes, well played. Sir, I tip my hat to you." Jack did just that. Then he looked back at Seras and said, "I need a drink."
"I already told you, your not going to find any alcohol here."
"Oh don't be ridiculous. Maybe you don't drink; but, in a house this size, someone must." Jack pulled a compass from his pocket and looked at it. He did an abrupt about face, nearly falling over in the process, then pointed ahead and said, "This way to the rum." Jack took off.
Seras followed the dead pirate captain. She did try to stop him, but only once. She reached for his arm, but her fingers passed right through. It appeared that Jack could be tangible or intangible, whichever he chose. So instead of stopping Jack, Seras just followed the crazed pirate on his quest for rum.
Jack's compass finally led him to Integra's office. He started to walk through the closed door, but Seras shouted. "Wait!"
Jack stopped and looked back at her, his body still halfway through the door. "What?"
"You can't go in there. That's Integra's office. She'll kill you."
Jack laughed. "It's a little late for that now, isn't it. Besides, I have to go in there. That's where the rum is." Jack finished entering the office.
Seras bit her lip, then opened the door and walked in. Jack had already made a mess of the place. There were papers scattered everywhere. Integra's going to be furious. Seras looked at Jack, scowl across her face.
The pirate had finally found a bottle. He popped the cork and started drinking. For some reason, the liquid didn't pass right through him. After a moment, Jack spit a mouthful out. "That isn't rum!"
"Of course not, it's scotch. Didn't you read the label?"
"Oh, love, I never bother with labels." Jack looked into the bottle. "Well, it tastes like old wood, but I guess it's better than port." He went back to gulping it down.
Sears reached for the bottle and tried to pull it from the pirate's grasp. "Give me that! It's bad enough you messed up Integra's office. If she finds out that you drank all her scotch, she's going to get really mad." Jack didn't let go, and the two struggled for the bottle. Just then the first rays of sunlight poured in through the office window, and Jack vanished. Seras fell back, and the bottle spilled all over her.
It was then that Walter barged into the office. He'd heard shouting and come to investigate. As Walter looked around, his face fell into a shocked expression. "Miss Victoria?!"
It was then That Seras noticed the state of the office, her undignified position on the floor, the bottle of alcohol in her hand and the smell coming from her clothes. "This isn't what it looks like. There was this pirate ghost and, and he wanted rum. Of course, I told him that we didn't have any rum. So, he used a compass to find the bottle of scotch and... "
Walter sighed and in a patronizing tone replied, "Yes, yes of course. It's all the bad pirate ghost's fault. You can explain everything to Integra when she wakes up. For now, why don't you just wait here while I go get you some coffee?"
(Well, what did you think? Is it worth another chapter, or should I make it a one-shot?
Have a good day, and God bless.