Disclaimer: I owneth not Edward, nor his glorious pectorals! These things, and so much more, doth belong to the acclaim-ed Stephenie Meyer, whose kindness hath thankfully extended to allowing her devoted fans to make use of her delectable world without fear of copyright infringement.
Note:This collective conglomoration of spiffy words is hereby dedicated to Savina, without whom this never would have come to be.
"Bella, what do you like better--abs, biceps, or pecs?" Edward was curious to know.
Bella thought for a moment, then asked, "Well, do you mean your abs, biceps, ad pecs, or just abs, biceps, and pecs in general?"
Edward smiled, glad that she was taking it so seriously; after all, it was a fairly important matter, and, at first, he thought she might laugh at him for asking--but, then, she rarely did what he expected.
"Whichever you prefer. Would it really make that much difference?" he queried, suddenly unsure.
Again, Bella considered her words carefully before answering; this was a delicate situation in regards to male pride, and could not be taken lightly. "I suppose not, since I would just be thinking of you anyway."
That seemed to please him--he grinned smugly, satisfied that Bella was his woman!
"So," he prompted, "which do you like best?"
Bella pursed her lips, then beamed innocently at her vampire-lover.
"Umm...you know...it would be easier to decide if I had a visual reference for comparison," she hinted slyly.
Edward smirked, and took off his shirt, suppressing a chuckle when he heard Bella's sharp intake of breath.
"Well?" he asked.
Bella's eyes roamed greedily over the manly expanse of Edward's smooth, well-muscled stomach, chest and shoulders, making a valiant--yet fruitless--attempt to continue breathing properly.
Finally, she spluttered, "U-um, p-pecs."
Then, she passed out from Edward-loveliness over-load.
A/N: Yeah, I know, it was kinda silly--reeeaally silly, actually, and totally absurd--but you have to admit that it put a rather lovely picture in your head!
This is almost exactly like the original draft, which was written in about ten minutes--in a car. It was actually for Savina's entertainment, so you may thank her for this estrogen-induced insanity.
Love y'all! And thanks once more to You'reDazzlingMeAgain for being awesome and nominating 'Butter!' for Best Characterization, Best Romance, and Best Edward/Bella Pairing in the Twilight Awards!