"Dude. Dude. Touch that shark." Toon Link commanded to Link.

"No way! Eugh..." Link refused and inched farther away from the tank. "Besides, my arm isn't long enough to reach." He peered over and into the tank. The shark was swimming around in small circles, it occasionally swam in an oval... But that was very rare. "Well..." Toon Link sat down on a bench by the tank. He pulled a steak sandwich out of his backpack. Staring at the sandwich, an idea came to him. "What if I use this sammich as bait and lure him up? Then you can piss in his mouth! The bastard..."


"Er, I mean... Then you can PEE in his mouth... The... er...Mus...Tard... Mustard?" Toon Link smiled sweetly.

"That's what I thought you said... and no... I will not urinate in an innocent creatures mouth." Link folded his arms across his chest.

"What if he did 'it' with your family pet?"

"You're a sick and twisted little boy."

"Just piss on the damn shark."

"Language, mister!"

"My bad, just PEE on the DANG shark! Better?" Toon Link rolled his eyes. "You're a wimp... Seriously..." Toon Link looked away, too ashamed to lay eyes on his graphic self. Link frowned. "Fine, if it makes you happy... I'll pee on the poor animal." Toon Link cheered while older Link stood on the edge of the tank, he unzipped his pants and-"

"HEY!" Zoo security tackled him to the floor. "Whaddya think you're doing! Harassing a little kid like this!" The officer cuffed him and turned to the boy, ignoring Link's pleas of innocence. "You okay son?" He asked in a gruff voice. Toon Link gave the officer a meek and innocent look. "I might be traumatized.. C-can I have his wallet? You know.. To help me recover.." The man wiped a tear from his eye and retrieved Link's wallet from Link's tunic pocket. "Go buy yourself some ice cream boy... some mentally refreshin' ice cream... and good luck." Toon Link nodded and ran off, laughing like a maniac.

The security officer sighed and began to push Link into his office. "I hope you're happy," He dialed 911. "because you just ruined the life of an innocent child."


Peach joined Roy at the shark exhibit. "Whatcha doooin' Rooyyaahhh?" She asked annoyingly.

"I'm just looking at the sharks... They're so beautiful, yet so dangerous. Fearsome beasts of the sea, ones who see the beauty in bloodshed. Swimming humbly, so beautiful. It's truly a - Holy shit look at this guy's teeth!" Roy laughed and pointed at a passing shark with a huge overbite. He contorted his face and stuck his front teeth out. "Guffaw guffaw guffaw guffaw!" He started imitating the shark while Peach slapped her forehead. "Roy," She began. "you don't actually say 'guffaw' you guffaw. You don't SAYYY 'guffaw'." Roy continued to guffaw. "It's like... When you laugh, you laugh. You don't go - laugh laugh laugh - like some sort of retard... You see... Ahh forget it. I'm going to gawk at the monkeys." She turned on her heel and left in a huff.



"I hate the zoo." Yoshi sighed.

A/N: Completely random and stupid. XP I got the shark with the overbite idea from Strange Wilderness... Which - by the way - is a stupid movie. Except for the part with the shark and when they kill bigfoot.