DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Harry Potter series or the characters associated with. I'm simply having some fun with JK's creation!
A/N: Hello everyone! Well this is my very first Remus/Sirius fic! It is also my very first slash fic, period. I only have four chapters of the story written so far, so I'll be updating hopefully regularly. I'd really appreciate some reviews so that I know people are actually interested. WARNING: there is mature content in later chapters, earning the M rating! If you don't like slash/smut, then don't read!
Lying Low at Lupin's
It had been a very hectic day. Sirius Black padded his way up the small staircase onto the landing of flat 103, stopping to stare at the door. A flood of memories assaulted his mind as he changed back into his human form. He took a deep breath, walked over to the beat-up door, and knocked very lightly.
The door clicked open and in the small gap appeared the worn and aged face of Remus Lupin. His gaze softened and a small, sad smile began to form on his lips.
"Sirius...Come in." he held the door open for Sirius and stepped back to allow him entry.
Sirius walked in and looked around the flat. It was exactly how he remembered it, though a few things had changed with the time. None of the furniture had been changed, however, and Sirius couldn't decide whether or not to be excited or sad because of it. He let out the breath he had held since he first knocked on the door. He turned to look at his old friend and lover, still able to recall in perfect memory what Remus had looked like as a teenager at Hogwarts.
"Dumbledore told me to lie low here for a little while. I'm sure you've heard what has happened. I need to be close to him, Remus...I can't leave him again." Sirius said quietly, trying to memorize this new, older Remus' face.
Remus nodded his head as he stared into Sirius' gaunt and worn face. His eyes locked with the familiar grey and for a minute, he was a teenager lost in love once more. Reluctantly, he pulled his eyes away and was once again brought back to being a middle-aged werewolf.
"Of course I heard. You can stay here as long as you want Sirius, that's not a problem." Remus smiled at Sirius. There was still a trace of sadness in his smile, which did not reach his eyes.
Sirius tried to smile back, but could only sigh in relief. He suddenly felt awkward, unsure of what to do next. He wanted so very much to rush forward and take Remus into his arms, but the fear of being pushed away was like glue to his feet.
"Thank you, Remus." he said, almost inaudibly. It felt so strange, yet so wonderful to be able to freely speak to Remus once more. Too bad words were seeming to fail him at the moment.
Remus noticed Sirius' awkward stance and could feel it too. He walked forward and placed a hand gently on Sirius sunken-in cheek and looked into those grey eyes once more. They were filled with pain, loss, and loneliness; something that was sure to be reflected in his own amber eyes.
"Come, let me make you some tea." Remus said, pulling his hand away from Sirius and walking towards the dingy little kitchen across the way from the living area.
Sirius bit his lip as Remus pulled away from him and headed towards the kitchen. He felt a sense of loss as Remus moved away, but pushed it away for now. Sirius followed Remus over to the kitchen and looked around. He let a smile reach his lips as he saw that Remus still had the dishes that James and Lily had first bought them when they rented the flat nearly sixteen years ago.
"This place hasn't changed very much." Sirius said, looking around at the familiar cabinets and dishes.
Remus let out a small chuckle as he lit the stove with his wand, heating up the teapot. He moved over to a cabinet where he pulled down two tea cups and saucers, which were bright red; A house-warming gift from James and Lily, so many years ago.
"Of course it hasn't; you know I don't like change." Remus poured the hot liquid into the two teacups and placed them on the saucers. He carried the cups of tea over to the kitchen table and sat down, motioning for Sirius to do the same.
Sirius followed Remus to the table and took the seat at the end of the table so that he could be closer to his old friend. He sipped at his tea and let the scolding hot liquid rush down his throat, warming his whole body. He sighed as he sat his cup back down, finally meeting Remus' amber-gold eyes once more. They were the same exact eyes that he had looked into in times of passion, happiness, and pain. The same eyes he thought about every day of his twelve years in Azkaban; the Dementors could not take this memory because it wasn't particularly a happy one. The same eyes he had rediscovered a year ago in his attempts to capture Peter and convince Harry that he was innocent. And in these same eyes, he saw the love he thought he had lost so many years ago.
"You look tired, Moony..." Sirius said quietly, detecting the exhaustion in the werewolf's face.
Remus sighed as he took a drink of tea and set his cup back down. He smiled at hearing his old nickname roll so smoothly off of Sirius' tongue once more. He let out a soft laugh as he leaned forward slightly in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands.
"I haven't heard that nickname in...almost fifteen years." Remus mused. He ran a hand through his slightly graying hair, studying Sirius once handsome face. Azkaban had taken such a huge toll on his old friend. "I am tired, Padfoot...More tired than you could ever know." Remus whispered sadly.
Sirius face broke out into his old charming smirk as he let out a bark like laugh. "Want to make a bet, Moony? I haven't slept properly in almost fourteen years..." his voice trailed off as he examined Remus' expression. "I'm sorry, you can probably relate just fine." Sirius said with a sad smile.
Remus chuckled humorlessly and nodded. What, did Sirius think he had been sleeping soundly the last fourteen years thinking that his lover had brought about the deaths of three of his best friends?
"We both need sleep. But first," Remus stood up and walked over to a closet where he pulled out a towel, and a clean set of pajamas. "You need a shower, my stinky friend." he said with a smirk.
Sirius laughed loudly, his own voice sounding strange to him. He had not laughed like that in years. "There's the old Moony." Sirius teased as he walked over and took the towel and clothes from Remus. "Thank you, my fine smelling friend." Sirius smirked.
Remus chuckled and shook his head lightly. It felt almost as if no time had passed. "You know where the shower is, Padfoot. Get a move on, would you?" Remus teased back nodding his head towards his bedroom, where the bathroom was located.
With a wink and a smirk, Sirius disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door with a thump. He sat his towel and clothes down on the bathroom counter while he stripped down naked. He had gained a little bit of weight since escaping Azkaban, but living off of rats wasn't very filling. He was still sickly skinny, and his skin seemed to have a dull brown to it, as if the dirt had permanently stained his body. Sirius turned the taps in the shower and felt goose-bumps rush through his body as he felt the warm water on his hand. He quickly stepped into the shower and turned the shower head on. The water was cold at first, but warmed up as he put his head full of long, tangled hair under the stream of water. He closed his eyes and let the water run down his body. Sirius had not had a proper shower in so long, he forgot what it had felt like. He stood for a long time, just savoring the water before he picked up a bar of soap and began to scrub his body. Half a bar of soap and at least 20 gallons of murky brown water later, Sirius washed his hair as best he could before turning the water off and stepping out. He dried himself off and tied the towel around his waist.
"Scissors...I need scissors..." Sirius muttered as he looked through the drawers in the bathroom. In the very bottom drawer, he spotted a pair of silver hair clipping scissors and grabbed them at once. He grabbed his clothes and walked out of the bathroom, still only in a towel.
Remus, who was lying on his bed in his pajamas and reading, looked up as the bathroom door opened. Sirius was standing in the doorway in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. He had the pajamas Remus had lent him rolled up under one arm, and a pair of gleaming silver scissors held up in the other hand, a smirk on his face.
"Moony, I need a haircut." Sirius said shortly, an expectant look on his face.
Remus laughed hard as he closed his book and stood up. "I'm no barber, Padfoot, but I'll do what I can." Remus pulled his desk chair around and pointed at it. "Sit, and give me those scissors."
A half hour later, there was a huge pile of black matted hair lying on the floor around the chair Sirius was sitting in. With one final snip of hair in the front, Remus brushed the loose hair away from Sirius face and stepped back to admire his work. It was pretty damn good for not being trained in the field of haircutting. "I'm good..." Remus mused, eyeing Sirius with a smirk.
Sirius smiled and stood up quickly from the chair, rushing into the bathroom and looking at his new hair in the mirror. It was near shoulder length, with bangs cut shorter around his eyes, just long enough to fall into his field of vision in what was supposed to be a dashing and sexy way. With a wide smirk he ran his finger through his raven locks, marveling at how close it felt to his old, perfect hair from his Hogwarts years. In fact, it looked almost exactly the way he used to wear it at Hogwarts. He felt a pang in his chest as he realized that Remus must have memorized what his hair had looked like, and cut it to look like it had in his memory. He walked out of the bathroom, still lightly playing with his hair.
"It's perfect, Moony. I love it!" Sirius said, unable to stop himself from smiling.
Remus vanished all of the cut away hair with a flick on his wand and returned the chair to its normal spot. He looked up at Sirius and smiled, now recognizing the old Sirius. "You're very welcome, Padfoot. Now put some clothes on." Remus chuckled at Sirius' still near-naked state.
Sirius looked down at his towel-clad body and the change of clothes still in his arms. "Oh yeah, right." he turned back to the bathroom and quickly pulled on the clothes. They were a bit big on him, which was definitely different. Sirius had always been a bit larger than Remus, but assumed that Remus would surely be the larger one after Sirius' dramatic weight loss in prison. Sirius also noticed that the pants were a lot longer than Sirius' normally would have been, and he was almost positive he had not shrunk while in Azkaban.
"Wow, Rem. You must have gotten a lot taller." Sirius said as he walked out of the bathroom, the extra material almost covering his feet completely.
Remus crossed his arms over his chest as he examined Sirius in his clothes. They looked baggy and much too long for him. He chuckled at Sirius' comment. "Sirius, had you not noticed that I'm nearly a foot and a half taller than you now?" Remus teased.
Sirius looked up at Remus and his mouth fell open lightly. He was at least a foot and a half shorter than Remus. He hadn't even realized it. "Well hell, that's not right. I'm supposed to be the taller one. You weren't supposed to grow anymore!" Sirius said in mock hurt, though his smirk gave him away.
Remus shook his head lightly and smiled. It was almost as if he had his best friend back, which in a sense, he did. "I'm sorry to disappoint, Padfoot. Werewolves grow for a longer length of time than normal teenagers. I was still growing at twenty-five." Remus explained, sitting back down on the edge of his bed.
Sirius walked over and sat down beside Remus on his old bed. He tried not to think about the many nights he had shared with Remus in that very bed before he had been imprisoned. "Hey, how old am I? I sort of lost track of time and well...I think I'm somewhere around thirty-four, but I'm not sure." Sirius frowned. It was a sad day when you could not remember how old you were.
Remus coughed lightly and sighed. Sirius didn't know how old he was? That was a very disconcerting and sad thought. "Sirius, you're thirty-five, as am I. Couldn't you have figured that out using the year of your birth and simply adding your age when you were imprisoned and the amount of years you stayed in Azkaban?" Remus asked, sounding very much like he used to in school when trying to explain a complicated spell to his friends.
Sirius shrugged and frowned, looking over at Remus sadly. "I don't even remember the year I was born, Remus...Being around the Dementors for so long has really screwed me up. So, that means I was born in...sixty?" Sirius asked as he did the math quickly in his head.
Remus nodded and smiled at Sirius, sighing quietly. "Yes, Sirius. We were both born in sixty." Remus felt very awkward telling a grown man what year he was born in and how old he was. It reminded him how very unfair life had been for Sirius. Remus checked his watch; two A.M.
"We should probably get some sleep, it's already two in the morning. Er...You're welcome to share the bed with me, or you can sleep on the sofa if you feel more comfortable that way. Whichever you want." Remus said, feeling slightly anxious. He wasn't sure if he was ready to share a bed with Sirius again just yet, but then again he longed to sleep next to the man beside him.
Sirius thought for a few seconds, looking into the Remus' eyes. There was an anxious air about him, yet that look in his eyes was one of longing. Sirius had always been able to read Remus like a book. "Do you mind if I sleep in the bed, Remus? I don't want to make you uncomfortable." Sirius said quietly, hoping Remus would say he didn't mind.
Remus sighed and shook his head. He couldn't bare to make Sirius sleep on the sofa. "No, I wouldn't mind at all, Sirius." Remus whispered. In fact, I wish you would he thought to himself, but dared not speak it out loud. Remus did not want to rush things. He wanted Sirius to come to him when he was well and ready to restart whatever it was that they had before, if he even wanted to.
Sirius smiled lightly and placed a hand gently on Remus leg. "Thanks, Moony. I haven't slept in a real bed since...Well the last bed I slept in was this one, actually." Sirius said with a bark like laugh as he looked at comfy bed he was sitting on. Sirius stood up and walked over to the left side of the bed, where he used to sleep before. He noticed that it looked like nothing had touched that side of the bed in years. "Re-"
"Finite Incantatum!" Remus blushed a deep red as he pointed his wand at the left side of the bed. The charm he had placed on there many years ago lifted, and suddenly a spicy scent filled the air; Sirius' scent. Remus turned away from Sirius and crawled into his side of the bed, trying not to turn around and look back at Sirius.
Sirius stood staring down at the bed. He took a deep breath and smiled. He remembered that smell. It was an old cologne he used to wear before he was imprisoned. He looked over at Remus, who had his back turned to him. Remus had tried to keep the memory of Sirius alive for all those years. Sirius had always thought of the werewolf as a sentimental fool, but was deeply touched by that simple sentiment in many ways. Remus had wanted to keep the scent of him here, and the charm made it so that nobody else could have touched that side of the bed, meaning Remus had indeed slept alone for many long years.
Sirius crawled into the bed, which was warm and smelt like his cologne. It made him feel more at home than ever before, and he couldn't help but smile. He laid facing Remus' back, and reached out a hand to gently caress one of the werewolf's many scars across his neck. "Thank you, Moony..." Sirius whispered.
Remus shivered slightly at the feeling of Sirius touching one of his most sensitive scars and bit his lip. A tear rolled down from his eye and soaked into his pillow, which had seen many, many tears before. He let out a slow breath and blinked away a few tears. "No, thank you..." Remus whispered back without turning around to see Sirius' expression.
A/N: I should have the next chapter up in a couple of days. Please review and let me know if the story is any good so far!