I originally put this on forums of the official Unforgotten Realms website, but I'll put it here as well. This chapter came out kind of butchered from copying and pasting it from the forums but its readable and I don't feel like re-doing it.


The dynamic duo better known as Mike and Rob were sitting inside the former's basement. The table before them had a poorly drawn map of the "Blook Woods" and four tiny figures that represented Eluamous, Sir Schmoopy, Jacque, and Petey.
"When we last left our heroes, they had just been arrested yet again and now had to raise-"Mike began.
"Wait wait wait wait… wait…. wait……. wait……….. wait. We're not doing episode three moron." Rob yelled, interrupting his "friend".
"Then what are doing?" Mike asked rather confused.
"We're doing that Unforgotten Fan-Realms-Fiction-Thing-Story." Mike sighed.
"Okay. Eluamous Nailo and Sir Schmoopy of Awesometon-"
"Don't forget about Jacque and Petey!" Rob yelled while waving his arms for emphasis. Mike held back his growing frustration and continued.
"Fine. Eluamous Nailo and Sir Schmoopy AND Jacque and Petey were camping in the mysterious Blook Woods. This forest is known for the magical artifacts rumored to be hidden in its darkest groves."
Eluamous emerged from the tent to stretch; he stifled a yawn upon seeing Sir Schmoopy hitting a large metal contraption with a hammer. "Eluamous asks Schmoopy: 'What the heck are you doing?'." Mike spoke.
"I'm building a wormhole generator." Schmoopy replied.
"There are no wormhole generators in Unforgotten Realms Rob!" Mike yelled angrily.
"There is one now!" Rob retorted. "Done." Schmoopy announced. The "Totally Awesome Ninja Abraham Lincoln" began to scratch his beard. "Okay, either this wormhole generator will created a wormhole to another dimension OR destroy the known universe." Eluamous looked rather frightened after this comment.
"Uh, what exactly are the odds of it destroying the universe?" He asked nervously.
"I'd give it about 75/25. Seventy five being the chance of it destroying the universe of course, so it's plenty safe." The sorcerer smiled and then slammed the on button with his fist. The wormhole generator began to spark and his. A then a mysterious vortex appeared in its center. The air swirled and a horrific smell filled the air.
"That's the smell of Mike's mom's cooking."
"SHUT UP JERKFACE!"
Finally the portal ceased its bizarre actions and only a swirling green vortex remained.
"Darn. I was hoping for something cooler to happen." Schmoopy lowered his head. Just then a strange looking girl, about fourteen years old shot out of the vortex. She had raven black hair pulled up into a ponytail, amethyst eyes and purple lip gloss. Her clothes consisted of a black tank top with a purple circle in the center, a short plaid skirt, purple stockings and combat boots.
"What is that?" Eluamous asked rather confused at what had just happened.
"Isn't it obvious Mike?" Schmoopy replied.
"No. Not really."
"It's obviously a lawnmower."
"What?!" Schmoopy pointed at the girl.
"See, there's the handle-thingy." He explained while pointing to the Goth girl's ponytail. "And there are the grass-choppers." Schmoopy then pointed to her mouth.
"It's not a lawnmower, idiot. It's a girl." Eluamous stated, getting very angry at Rob's stupidity. Said girl finally managed to stand up and brush herself off.
"Where am I? Who the heck are you?" She asked, still dazed. Schmoopy's eyes widened.
"WE'RE UNDER ATTACK...AGAIN!" Quickly Schmoopy whipped out his nun-chucks and leapt at the girl. "FEEL THE WRATH OF CANADIAN LUMBER, FOOL!"
"I'm not even going to say anything this time." Eluamous flinched as he watched the epic battle. When the dust settled the wizard in training saw the girl wiping the dust from her hands while Schmoopy lay broken and bleeding on the ground.
"You'll have to stop her Jacque. She's too awesome."
"Oui, Oui, mon ami (Thank you for teaching me how to spell that, ChillinOut)." Jacque began to glow bright blue, charging up his most powerful ability that Rob had just made up a few minutes ago. Knowing something terrible was about to happen, Eluamous began to pray and Petey covered his eyes with his paws. Then, there was the explosion to end all explosions!
Finally the dust settled and our heroes looked around. All they saw for miles was desolate wasteland.
"ROB! WHAT DID YOU DO!?" Mike yelled furiously.
"I didn't do anything. It was Jacque. He used his atomic blast attack!" Schmoopy pointed to said axe.
"Well, good job Jacque. YOU DESTROYED THE ENTIRE FOREST! Now let's get out of here before the radiation kills us." Eluamous was at his breaking point now.
"Relax Elumouse… Eluminaous… Eldorado… Elyoumayus… Mike! I've got a resistance to radiation of-"Rob shuffled through his character sheets.
"There's no resistance to radiation moron." Mike replied.
"No resistance to radiation? That's Bullsh-"
"SHUT UP! Let's just continue this stupid campaign." Back in the game the four heroes started to walk in the direction which seemed to be the least devastated by the atomic blast.
"Wait! I wanna take the lawnmower." Schmoopy said while motioning to the unconscious girl.
"For the last time it's not a lawnmower it's a girl!"
"Well maybe in the dimension it came from, lawnmowers look like girls! Did you ever think of that Mike? Huh? Did you?"
"Fine! If you want to carry that GIRL around in your inventory I'm not going to stop you." Eluamous said through clenched teeth. Just then two strange looking men with shirts that said "EPA" ran up to them.
"Environmental Protection Agency?" Eluamous asked, wondering why they of all people would appear.
"And you say I'm an idiot. Mike, everyone knows EPA stands for Enforcers of the Protection of Amish. Obviously the lawnmower belongs to Amish people and they've come to collect it."
"No Rob, I'm one-hundred percent certain it's Environmental Protection Agency." The two EPA officials finally reached our heroes.
"STOP! ENFORCERS OF THE PROTECTION OF AMISH!" One yelled.
"Told you." Schmoopy told his companion.
"I hate you. So. Much."
Will our heroes be able to get out of the forest before the radiation kills them? What do the Enforcers 

of the Protection of Amish want from Sir Schmoopy? Find out next time on UNFORGOTTEN FAN-REAMLS-FICTION-STORY-THING!