Total crack. Inspired by an actual ad I saw in a phone book...it wouldn't leave me alone, so now it's here to torture you!
"Where's the first aid shit, Sammy?" Dean asked irritably, as he dug through the trunk of the car.
Sam looked up from the map he was studying and watched as Dean hauled stuff out of the trunk and dropped it onto the parking lot. When Dean had his pack hovering above the dirty puddles he moved quickly to intervene.
Catching his pack just as Dean released it above a particularly large puddle; he shoved his brother out of the way, moved a sleeping bag and pulled out the box containing their first aid supplies. "What exactly do you need?" Sam asked, not wanting his brother trashing their much used and dwindling supplies. Sam made a mental note to restock at the next town. Sam eyed Dean, they hadn't hunted anything in the last week, "You hurt?"
Dean shook his head and flexed his jaw. "Nah, but my jaw is sore from that sucker punch, I think I might have chipped a tooth. Need some Tylenol."
Sam pulled out the almost empty bottle and tossed it to his brother, then put the box back into its spot before neatly replacing their other supplies as Dean popped open the bottle and shook the contents into his mouth. Sam shook his head, and bit his tongue. He wasn't going to remind Dean that he actually deserved the punch, or that it had knocked him out, or…
"Don't even say it, bitch." Dean mumbled and slid into the driver's seat.
"What?" Sam asked smiling. He shut the trunk and then took his spot beside Dean.
Dean started the car and glared at his younger brother. He touched his jaw gingerly and winced.
"You have to admit though, she had a damn good left hook."
Sam couldn't avoid the slap Dean planted on the back of his head.
Sam sighed and pulled the pillow over his head as Dean groaned in the bed across the room. Three nights in a row now…three fucking nights and too damn little sleep. Sam was going to kill him if he had to put up with it one more day.
Sam looked at the clock and sat up, flipping on the light. He glared at his brother.
"Dude, just let me call. You can't keep this up, and seriously neither can I." Sam pulled the phone book from beneath the phone and started flipping through the pages.
Dean sat up and shook his head his hand pressing a plastic bag of ice against the right side of his face, "Nowa, way Tham. Thwere is no thucking way."
"Are you serious? You can't eat, you can't sleep, shit, you can't even talk, though honestly, I'm not really too upset about that one. But come on, let me call, get you an appointment and I promise you'll feel better."
Dean stood and stalked across the room to pull the phone book out of Sam's hands. He tossed it at the wall and glared down at his brother.
"No. Denthists are thucking fweaky. Thwy, would sthumone not pwosessed wanna stware in pweople's mouvths all dwamn dway? I'm twelling thu, Thammy, it ain't nathural." Dean shuddered and put the, now dripping bag of ice back in place against his jaw.
Sam ran a frustrated hand through his hair. Dean could be such a baby and how someone who hunted and killed the scariest things imaginable could be afraid of the dentist was beyond him. "Dude, you need to see a dentist. This is getting ridiculous. Why suffer when you can be in and out in an hour. Tooth gone, pain gone and cheeseburgers by dinner time."
Sam smiled, hoping the offer of a pain free eating experience could coax his stubborn assed brother into the dentist chair. "Come on, how can you be afraid of the dentist?"
Dean growled and threw his bag of ice at Sam's head, "I'm thnot afwaid, dwammit! Ith's jwust thwong…theriously thwong. Gwown men dwon't stware intwo othwer mens mouvths. Thucking nasthy, Tham, nasthy."
Sam managed to catch the bag, but ice cold water rained onto his face and down onto his bed, "Shit." Sam got up and dumped the bag into the trash before retrieving the phone book. He flipped to the "Ds" and ran a finger down one of the columns, looking for the add he'd seen earlier. He found it and stalked over to his brother.
"Fine. How nasty is it for a hot woman to stare into a grown man's mouth?" Sam asked as he shoved the book in front of Dean's face.
Dean tore the book from Sam's hand. He looked at the page and gave Sam a slow, somewhat lopsided, smile, "Twell, thwy didnth thu thway thso Thammy? Cwall and geth me anth appointhment asth sthoon asth thu can, thwis mwothwer thucker isth killing me."
Sam rolled his eyes and grabbed the phone, thankful that Dean hadn't taken the time to read the ad:
Dr. Grace Wilson, pediatric dentist
We can tame even the toughest little bronco.
We can soothe even the meanest little lion.
No child too wild for our chair!