The sharp pain woke me up. I swatted the air thinking it was someone jabbing at my head. I opened my eyes realizing that it was all in my head. I looked around and saw a couple of beer bottles around my bed. I could not have drank that much, I barely ever drank. Emmett and Jasper probably joined me or something. I threw my legs over the bed and quickly got up, the room swayed and my legs gave out, once again falling back onto the bed. No, I definitely drank all those beers by myself. I took a deep breath and steadied myself, slowly making my way to the bathroom.
Looking in the mirror did not make me feel any better. It was my wedding day and I looked like crap. My face was flushed, with sweat beading on my forehead. My eyes were dull and underneath them there were hollow, dark, sagging bags. I looked away from the mirror as I washed down the three Advils with water from the tap. After I felt like I could walk a long distance, I headed down the stairs and towards the kitchen. Passing the living room I noticed some more empty bottles. How much did I drink?
Walking into the kitchen made me even more disgusted with myself. My usually tide kitchen was a mess. It did not look like I lived here. It seemed like this was Emmett's house. There was food everywhere…and some more bottles of alcohol. I walked over to the table and put my head on it. What did I do? Why did I drink so much? I knew the answer, but I was too ashamed to admit it. I had not made a decision. I didn't know what to do, so instead of making a final decision, I ran away from them, drinking my problems away. God, did I even think that I wouldn't fully run away? That I would eventually come back to reality?
I banged my head against the table. "Make a decision already," I yelled to myself. Why was this so hard? My head and my heart were telling me to do two completely different things. If I followed my head, would I find happiness? If I followed my heart, would I end up getting hurt because of a stupid decision I made without thinking about it? How did I end up in this hole, and why can't I get out? I looked at the calendar next to the fridge. Did these past two days already pass? Why couldn't I remember a thing?
The phone rang making me jump in my seat. I kept my head on the table as I reached for it. "Hello?" My voice sounded hoarse, like I hadn't spoken in days.
Alice's worried voice came from the other end. "Oh good, you finally picked up. We have been really worried." She paused, hesitating. "Did you make a decision?"
I shook my head and then realized she couldn't see that. "I don't know. I really can't remember."
"Well, I guess that means you didn't. Jasper and Emmett will come over right now. They are already finished so they will just go with you and we will meet you guys at the church." She hung up, taking my silence as an agreement. I sat there until I heard banging on the door, making my head pound.
"Your house stinks," Emmett never failed to be blunt.
"Edward what happened to you?" Jasper followed inside and headed towards the couch.
"I don't think I was around," I also sat on the couch.
"Dude, you locked yourself in this house, didn't answer our calls, and refused to let any of us in. You have definitely been around." Emmett was staring at the bottles in horror. "You drank all these by yourself?" He nodded towards the dozens of bottles on the table.
"There's more in the kitchen and in my bedroom." Jasper shook his head in disappointment.
"So are you going to get married or not?" he tried to sound cheerful but it was obvious that he was disappointed in me.
"I haven't made a decision yet."
"You know you are getting married in four hours, right?" Emmett turned on the television, uncomfortable with the many awkward silences we were having.
"Yes, I just don't know what to do," I sighed.
"Why are you being such a damn baby about it? Be a man an pick one!"
"Emmett, it isn't that easy. What if you had to pick between Rosalie and someone that made you just as happy, except they just had a few differences?"
"Easy I would pick my soul mate: Rosalie."
"Which one do you love?" Jasper asked.
I rolled my eyes, "Both, that is why I am having problems here. My mind is telling me that I love Lucy, that with her I can be happy. I know she completely loves me, but what if I won't be happy with her in the future? My heart is telling me that I love Bella, that she is my other half, but what if she ends up realizing that she doesn't love me? She had all these years to realize it and she finds out now? Why couldn't she realize it before I met Lucy?"
Jasper also dramatically rolled his eyes back at me. "Did you realize you loved Bella a long time ago?" I didn't answer, knowing what he meant. "You probably felt something, just like she did, but you two never thought it was love. You always thought it was friendship. You two are the most stubborn people I know, so I am not surprised that you have been denying it all these years."
"And Bella does love you," Emmett interrupted. "That is why you two refused to date anyone. You guys were stuck to the hip, and every time a guy would even show any interest in Bella, you would give him the death glare, scaring him to the point where he would be too afraid to even look at her. Bella would always blush and mumble and not pay attention to where she was going, every single time she saw you talking to a girl."
I chuckled, "Bella always blushes and falls because she doesn't pay attention to where she is going."
"Yes, but it was more than usual. When you would date you would date that person for a week or two and then forget about the girl, and the same goes with Bella. You couldn't stand to be with a girl, unless it was Bella. The only real relationship you have ever had other than Lucy was with Megan, and you stopped talking to Bella and everything. But remember what happened? You started missing Bella because you stopped talking to her because of Megan. You even cried." Jasper let out a howl of laughter. "And then you ended up breaking up with Megan and going back to Bella. You two always ended up back together. Right where you belong." He stressed the last four words.
"Do you guys not like Lucy or something?" I asked.
Jasper sighed, "No she is a great girl. We just don't think she is the one for you. If only you can see the love between you and Bella. I know you know you love her, and she knows she loves you, but if only you saw it from an outsider's point of view. You guys don't have to hold each other or kiss or anything. You can be across the room from each other and a stranger will still know that you two are in love. I just don't see that with you and Lucy. It seems like every time you hold Lucy's hand or kiss her you are trying to prove something to yourself."
I ran my hand through my hair in aggravation. "I don't know. I want to be with Bella, but what if it doesn't end well? With Lucy I know that I am safe. She will never get bored of me and I will never get bored of her."
"Don't you think you will get bored of faking you love her?" Emmett blurted out.
"I am not faking anything."
"You did say that it is your mind that is saying you love her, and not your heart." Jasper pointed out.
"My mind makes sense," I shrugged.
"So who is it, Edward?" Jasper asked after a few minutes of silence.
I took a deep breath. The lump that was there that night when I was at Bella's house reappeared. I didn't want to say it. I closed my eyes and childishly wished that I was in a world where everything was easily fixed by the throw of a coin. I knew that time was slowly slipping by and I had to get ready. "Lucy," I whispered. I opened my eyes and Emmett was staring at me with his mouth wide open, he was so sure I was going to pick Bella.
Jasper gave one quick nod. "Ok, you should go shower. Emmett and I will clean this place up a bit." I heard Emmett arguing in quite whispers with Jasper while I walked up the stairs. I took a cold shower; I needed something to wake me up from the shock I was in. I had finally made a decision, but why wasn't I happy? I gasped as the cold water hit my shoulders, no, I would feel the same way if I picked Bella. It was a catch 22.
Before I knew it, I was showered and dressed, standing in front of the mirror in my bedroom. I didn't even remember doing anything other than showering. The sunlight hit something in the room making everything around me brighter. I looked around and noticed the picture frame with the picture of the six of us playing chicken in the pool. The boy with the shimmering bronze hair looked so happy. Will he still be happy without his other half? I felt better knowing that I was in more pain than she was. She told me she was fine, she didn't know that these past two days were hell for me; she didn't know that there was a battle going on inside my body. She didn't have to know any of that.
I laughed when I saw Emmett vacuuming. This was a first. The laugh felt forced and awkward. "Rose can't get you to clean but Jasper can? Is it Rosalie you sleep with or Jasper?" He glared at me, still angry about my decision. The house looked much cleaner, and smelled better. Or, maybe it was me that smelled better.
"Are you ready?" Jasper came back from the kitchen. I tried to say yes but I couldn't, so I just nodded instead. Emmett stalked past me, I shrugged and followed. I knew that I was going to get even more crap with the other two. I would much rather deal with Emmett than Rosalie and Alice.
I was pacing in the little room the church offers for the groom to wait in till the wedding starts. Jasper and Emmett were anxiously watching me.
Emmett broke the silence, "Edward, you really don't look like you are happy with the decision you made."
I leaned my head against the window, "Yes Emmett." Was I lying to myself? I heard the door burst open and I reluctantly turned around, not wanting to be greeted by my sister in law and best friend's angry faces.
"She's leaving!" Tears rolled down Alice's face as she ran into her husband's arms. Jasper picked her up and sat her down on his lap. Rosalie hung her head, slowly walking towards Emmett. They didn't even acknowledge my presence. Was this their way of saying they were angry, or were they too upset to notice me at the moment?
"We already knew she was leaving. I know it's upsetting but we will visit her anytime you want. And we still have tonight," Jasper rubbed her back. Alice's cries just got louder.
Rosalie wiped the tears off her cheeks, "No, what Alice is saying is that Bella is leaving today…in a couple of hours." She turned her head towards Emmett's chest. "She said she couldn't even say goodbye because it hurt her too much."
My head snapped up. "What, she is leaving today? No, she promised she would come to the wedding. I told her I needed her. She can't leave. Her ticket is for tomorrow."
"No, Edward. She said she couldn't do it. I'm so sorry. I know this hurts," Rosalie whispered.
I turned around facing the window again. "You guys didn't tell her did you?"
"Tell her what?" Jasper asked.
My teeth clenched in frustration. "You guys didn't tell her that I realized I loved her did you?" There was nothing but silence. I spun around. They were all staring at the floor. "Did you?" I demanded. They all shook their heads. "Good, let's keep it that way. I don't want her to be upset."
"I wish I told her." Alice stuck out her chin like a child. "Then maybe she would have stayed. She might have stayed for you."
"What would that have done? If I picked Lucy and she knew that I was also in love with her, it would have killed her."
Alice walked over to me and took my hands in hers. "It's not too late, Edward. Her plane doesn't leave for another two hours. You can still make it." Two hours? Had it not been four just moments ago?
"I can't." I choked on my words. "Everyone is waiting inside that church right now. Everything is set up. I can't just leave Lucy, on her most important day, at the altar. I can't do that to her. She will be devastated."
"What about you Edward? Are you happy, or are you just doing this to make others happy?" Jasper walked over to Alice and held her hand. Rosalie and Emmett also walked closer to me.
"Edward, you have to be one hundred percent happy with decision too. Remember, you are going to spend the rest of your life with Lucy. If you let Bella go, then maybe it will be too late." Rosalie put her hand on my shoulder.
"Maybe that is what I want. I want it to be too late. I don't deserve her, no matter how much I love her. I want her to find someone she is completely happy with. I want her to never want to bother visiting me." I stared at the clock; time was going by too quickly.
Emmett started laughing. "You are such a liar Edward. The last thing you want is for it to be too late. If you could turn back time to a couple years ago, you would do it in a second. We all know that you and Bella deserve each other more than anyone else. And you definitely do not want her to be with any guy. You have always been so over protective, always telling her that none of the guys that liked her deserved her."
"That's because no one she knows does deserve her, she still –"
"Oh shut up Edward. You don't think anyone deserves her because deep down you know that you are the only one for her. You two are like a puzzle that just fit together," Rosalie interrupted.
"Why are you two so stubborn? You both know you are meant to be together," Emmett agreed.
"No we don't know that. And what about Lucy? I am happy with her. I love her. I know I am meant to be with her." I argued back.
"If you were so sure of that, you wouldn't look like you are about to cry," Jasper pointed out.
"I look like that because I just found out my best friend is leaving on my wedding day. I look upset because one of the most important people in my life is leaving without saying goodbye." I yelled.
"Then why are you still here crying about it? Go after her," Jasper challenged.
"I can't I am about to get married." I pointed to the clock, shocked to see that I had ten minutes before I had to walk into the church.
"Is Lucy more important than Bella? You said Bella is one of the most important people in your life. Is Lucy number one on that list, or is she tied with Bella…or is she below Bella? Because if she is below Bella then you know who you really should be with." Alice walked to the mirror and started fixing her makeup. I didn't answer; I didn't even allow myself to think about it. I couldn't mess this up too. I messed things up with Bella already; I couldn't hurt another person I cared about.
"Bella doesn't want me anymore, even if I told her I loved her," I finally admitted what I was too scared to admit earlier. "Last time I saw her she said she was fine. That she was actually happy. And you know what? She actually looked happy. She was the one who was comforting me."
Rosalie glanced at the clock and tried to talk as fast as possible. "Edward, we all know Bella is a terrible liar." I opened my mouth to tell her that it wasn't a lie when she told me she was fine, but Rosalie stopped me. "But, when she truly believes that doing something will make someone happier, she lies, and she is pretty damn good. She just sucks at stuff she doesn't fully believe in."
She took a breath and continued, glaring at who ever even tried to open their mouths to speak. "Before Lucy, you wouldn't give any girls the time of day. When we were younger you refused to talk, even look at any of the other girls. Bella was the only person you would hang out with other than us. You only talked to other girls when you had to. You only dated one girl in high school, and remember what happened? You broke up with her because she was intimidated by Bella and didn't want you speaking to her."
"Why is everyone bringing that up? I was young!"
"Because we are trying to make a point, so shut up. You chose Bella over someone that you actually really liked. All the time we spent getting you on blind dates were a waste, you would constantly make up lies so the girl would get disgusted and leave. The same goes for Bella. Did you ever see her show any interest in any guy? She would shoot down a guy before she even got to know him, always so focused on you. You guys have been so naive for such a long time, but it's not too late. Her plane isn't leaving yet, go after her. Don't make a decision you will regret."
"No, I am not going to change my mind. This is what Bella wants. She wants to start a new life, and I think she will be happier if she is far from me. You guys keep saying we are soul mates, but she has never been anywhere outside of Washington, maybe her real soul mate is somewhere out there."
"Sometimes your soul mate doesn't have to be on the other side of the world. Sometimes they can be right there, your whole life." Jasper looked at Alice affectionately. I looked away, always feeling awkward when they did that.
I noticed the clock, "It's time."
"No!" Alice broke her eye contact with Jasper. "Please Edward, think about your future, and think about Bella."
Think about Bella. I could have laughed if I didn't feel like throwing up from all the nerves. All I thought about lately was Bella. Most of my decisions revolved around Bella, especially this one. I couldn't sound weak; I couldn't let them try to change my mind. "This time I am just thinking about myself." Cold hearted bastard.
"Since when have you been so selfish?" Rosalie stomped past me before I could think of anything to say.
Alice grabbed my sleeve, "Edward, think about it."
I pulled away. "It's too late to think about it. It is my life, my future, my heart, Alice. This…this is what I want." She nodded and then walked out of the room. Emmett came by and patted my shoulder. Jasper stared straight ahead; somehow he knew how much this was affecting me.
I walked down the aisle with Jasper and Emmett following behind. Happy faces were staring at me from all directions. Wasn't I supposed to be happier than them? Bella and I weren't soul mates. If we were we would have found out we loved each other a long time ago, not now. We were just two friends that were slowly losing our hold on each other. We didn't want to let go so we formed this fake love for each other. Hoping that if we claim our love that we will be together forever. By then I was at the front of the church, waiting to get married.
Jasper leaned over and whispered in my ear, "whatever you are thinking, it isn't true." He had no idea what I was thinking, but if he only knew how much I knew it wasn't true. How much I was trying to make up lies that I can believe in, just so I wouldn't have to deal with the pain.
Seconds later Alice walked down the aisle followed by Rosalie. Both looked like they were attending a funeral instead of a wedding. I tried to get them out of my mind. None of them mattered. What about me? Why couldn't I be selfish and do something for myself? I was doing this for myself. In the end I picked Lucy because I wanted to be with her, why else would I pick her over Bella?
I looked up and I saw Bella in a beautiful wedding dress walking down the aisle. I felt a silly grin appear on my face. I blinked once and the vision blurred. This wasn't right. Bella wasn't even attending the wedding. I blinked again and a beautiful, tall tanned woman was walking my way.
Lucy's father placed her hand in mine. It felt so wrong. This wasn't the hand I craved for when I needed comforting. The skin was too hard, and not pale enough. It didn't have the same warmth the other hand had. The hand that would make all my troubled disappear. I looked at her and she gave me a reassuring smile. It didn't help. I wanted to see those big full lips. The lips that lit up my world when they spread into a smile. I looked around at my friends and family. My parents had sad smiles on their faces, my friends looked like they were about to cry, the strangers were the only ones with the bright smiles. This isn't how it is supposed to be. My family is supposed to be happy for me. This is supposed to be my happiest day.
We turned towards the priest. His words started to get fuzzy as I stopped paying attention.
"It's not too late."
"Sometimes your soul mate does not have to be on the other side of the world."
"You both know you are meant to be together."
Bella's voice rang so clear in my head, "I have always loved you – from the very beginning."
I closed my eyes, willing myself to forget those words. It's too late.
"Alright this is the last song for the night, so grab your date and enjoy the last couple minutes of prom." The DJ announced. Everyone groaned, upset that prom was almost over. Bella sighed in relief. She was terrified the whole day, thinking that she was going to trip in those heels that Alice had forced her in.
"Wouldn't it suck if I tripped during the last song? And I was doing so well." We stood around waiting for the song to start. Jasper and Alice were behind us, still slow dancing from the last song, too lost in each other to realize that the song had ended.
"I won't let you trip." I grabbed her hand and held it tight. She giggled.
She looked over her shoulder and smirked. "Jees, they are still at it. They can stare at each other like that all night."
"It's not as bad as Emmett and Rosalie. If they were here they would just stand around making out the whole night."
"Good thing their prom was last year," Bella agreed.
The song started.
Maybe it's intuition
but some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes, I see my future in an instant
And there it goes,I think I found my best friend
I couldn't help but laugh. Bella raised her eyebrows. "Sorry, it's just such a typical song to play at prom.
I know that it might sound
more than a little crazybut I believe...
She also started to laugh. "You are right, can it get any cornier?" I looked around and noticed people were glaring at us because we were interrupting their last song.
"Ok let's dance before the song is over," I laughed again. Bella blushed as she put her arms around my neck.
I knew I loved you before I met youI think I dreamed you into life
I stared into her eyes. My chest started to hurt. She quickly placed her cheek against me. I noticed that the back of her neck was a very dark shade of red.
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
"Do you believe in soul mates?" She whispered.
"Why do you ask?"
"Because this stupid guy is talking about how he knew he loved her before he met her. That means they are soul mates, I think."
There's just no rhyme or reason
Only the sense of completion
And in your eyes, I seethe missing pieces I'm searching for
I listened to the words to the song before I answered. It wasn't as corny as I thought. "I guess in some ways I do believe in them. Someone who is out there waiting for you."
She pulled away and looked me in the eyes again. My chest started to hurt again. "Does it have to be someone out there? Can't it be someone you already know."
"Oh you mean like Jasper and Alice and Emmet and Rosalie? Yeah I guess, it is very rare though. They are very lucky."
"What if you find out someone is your soul mate, you know you have loved them since forever but you just don't do anything about it and one day they leave? Then they really aren't soul mates, are they?"
I think I've found my way home
I know that it might sound
more than a little crazy
but I believe...
"No, I think that if they are actually soul mates no forces can keep them apart. Somehow they will find their way home."
She slapped my shoulder and started laughing. "Nice, copy the song. You are so romantic, Edward." We continued to dance in silence. Bella's words got me thinking. What if there is someone out there for me and I just let them go, will they find their way back to me? I shook my head. Why was I even thinking about this when I hadn't even found that person yet? As the song came to an end, I unconsciously pulled Bella closer to me.
"Thanks for taking me to prom." She gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek.
"There is no one else I would rather go with." She shivered.
I felt a squeeze on my hand that brought me back to the present. I bit my lip to keep myself from crying. Too bad I hadn't realized back then that she was my soul mate.
"What if you find out someone is your soul mate, you know you have loved them since forever but you just don't do anything about it and one day they leave?"
How ironic, Bella knew our future since we were eighteen years old.
"Edward," Lucy hissed. I looked at the priest who looked back at his Bible and repeated what he had just previously said.
"Edward, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to live together in the Holy Estate of Matrimony; to love, honor, comfort her and keep her in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, keep you only unto her as long as you both shall live?"
"I…" I looked around. Alice was smiling, Rosalie and Jasper looked hopeful and Emmett looked like he was holding back a fit of laughter. The whispers in the audience started to get louder.
"Would you like me to repeat it again?" The priest sounded annoyed.
"No, I understood everything." I looked at Lucy who was starting to realize what was going on.
"So what is your answer, Edward?" He asked.
"I…" My face started to heat up. "I…can't." Gasps, what's and no's sounded throughout the room. Lucy's lips set in a firm line, her hands slipping out of mine. "Lucy, I am so sorry."
She looked back at me with sad eyes. "You are going after Bella, aren't you?"
"How do you know?"
"Even I could see how much you care about her. You love her, and you can't help it." She smiled, trying to make the tears stay back.
"You know I wish it could be different." I lied. I knew it was exactly how I wanted it to be. Deep down, I have always wanted to be with Bella. They were all right. I never gave anyone the time of day because she was the only person I wanted. When I found out I had feelings for her and she didn't, I ran away to the first person I could think of. I just hated that it was Lucy who had to end up getting hurt.
She laughed; I was shocked she was able to find any humor in what was going on. "You don't wish it was different. She has always had your complete heart from the very beginning. I have seen the way you look at her, even when I was with you, it would always be like she was the only girl in the room. Sometimes your eyes would glaze over like you were looking at an angel."
"Edward!" Emmett shouted.
"I am really sorry, Lucy. I wish I didn't have to hurt you like this. I hope you find someone that will love you with all his heart."
"I hope so too." I gave her a hug and turned around, on the right side, from Lucy's family, angry eyes were piercing through me. I looked over to the left side where my family and friends were sitting. They couldn't be happier.
Jasper walked over and pushed me towards the door. "Go Edward." That was all I needed. I ran down the aisle not paying attention to the insults and cheers coming from both sides of the audience. The only thing that was on my mind was Bella. When I had gotten outside I realized that I didn't have my car. Emmett's jeep was parked far away and the limo was too big and slow. A young teenager was getting off of his bike; I ran to him and quickly pulled my wallet from my pocket. "How much for the bike?"
"This? It's not for sale." He put the keys in his pocket and was about to walk away.
I grabbed his shoulder and held him in place. "Here," I didn't look at how much I gave him, but by the look on his face, it must have been a lot.
"Dude, the bike isn't even worth that much!"
"Do you want the money or not?" I was in too much anticipation to be as nice as I wanted to be. The boy nodded, grabbed his keys from his pocket, placed them in my hand and walked away. I hopped on the bike and drove to Bella's house as fast as I could. I stopped at a red light, my foot itching to hit the gas. No, the last thing I need is a policeman slowing me down because of speeding.
"I want to become a famous author one day." Bella announced as she closed the book she had been reading for the past seven hours.
I got off the computer and sat next to her on the couch. "You plan on becoming a famous author and live in Forks your whole live?"
"No, maybe I will move to Seattle, or some other city. Maybe a different county, I think that would be very nice."
"Bella, you love Washington."
"Yes, but change is good. I want to experience the world."
"And you are going to leave poor old me here in Forks? You know the only reason I have survived in this boring town for so long is because of you," I joked.
She bit her lip, intently thinking about the future. "Well, you are going to come with me." She nodded and looked back at me, "yea, you are going to experience the world with me."
"I'll go anywhere you want me to go." She scooted closer and I wrapped my arms around her.
"I think I would be depressed if I didn't see you every day, so of course you have to come along with me, that simple," she yawned.
"Same here, life wouldn't make sense without you in it."
She giggled, "You are such a girl, Edward."
"I know, but it's true."
"I know, and I feel the same exact way."
The light turned green and I sped the rest of the way there. My heart started pounding when her house came into view. It's not too late. We will finally get our happy ending, I thought to myself. I jumped off the bike and ran to the door.
"So Edward, when will you ask me for my blessing?" Charlie asked over the dinner Bella had made.
"Excuse me sir?" Bella obviously knew what he was talking about because she was blushing red.
"Blessing, Edward. You know, if you want to marry Bella." He said it like Bella and I were in love.
"Dad, it's not funny. You know Edward and I are best friends, you know that." I looked down at my empty plate.
"That's what you say now." He popped a piece of fish into his mouth. "Oh please, I am not stupid. Are you two secretly dating? Edward, you know I am a police man, I can easily find out." Bella rolled her eyes. "Either you are secretly dating or sooner or later one of you guys will find out you are in love with each other."
"That's not going to happen dad." Bella took my empty plate to the kitchen.
"You can't control love, right Edward?"
"Bella!" I hurled myself at the open door. I stopped as soon as I walked in. The living room was completely empty. No suitcases, no boxes, no Bella. My fluttering heart stopped. She was gone. "Bella!" I shouted again.
"She's not here," a voice came from the door. I turned around and the landlord was standing there. "She left about an hour ago. I wasn't expecting her, but she said she changed her flight. She seemed pretty upset. Said she had to leave as soon as possible. I think her plane is leaving in about thirty minutes."
"So soon?" The landlord nodded, looking at me with pity. I had time. I could make it to the airport before the plane left. I ran past the old man and back onto the motorcycle.
"Bella, please come with us to Hawaii. Everyone wants you there." I had been sitting in Bella's room for two hours, trying to convince her to come with on our family vacation.
"No I am going to feel weird." She crossed her arms and stared straight ahead.
"You are going to spend the last two weeks of summer break alone? Jasper, Rosalie and Alice are coming back the same time we are." She shook her head. "Come on, I packed your bags. Please come. Charlie said it is fine and my parents love you and want you to come and Emmett wants someone else to annoy."
She gave me a disgusted look. "It's not about that. I don't want you guys paying for Hawaii. Do you know how expensive that is?"I knew that this wasn't going anywhere.
"Fine," I stood up and left the room. I went to my house and told my parents the change of plans. I grabbed my suitcase and ran back to Bella's room. She gave me a curious look when I came in with a sleeping bag and my suitcase. "I guess I will be your roommate for the next two weeks then."
"You don't go to Hawaii, I don't go to Hawaii." I sat down in the chair across from her and mimicked her position.
"Edward, please go. I don't want your summer break to suck because of me."
"It would suck even if I went to Hawaii without you."
"Why are you so stupid? Go to Hawaii. Why do you want to stay here in boring Forks with the most boring person ever?"
"Don't you get it? I wouldn't have fun there without you. I want to be with my best friend."
I pushed through the people strolling their suitcases into the airport and ran straight to the first worker I saw. "Flight to Phoenix, Arizona…when did it leave?" I gasped.
"We have two. One just left five minutes ago and the next one is leaving in about three and a half hours." The attendant walked away, hurrying to make it to her flight.
I was late. She left and I wasn't going to see her. A part of me wanted to go buy a ticket and follow her there, but then I remembered that I had no idea where she was going in Phoenix. The whole time I knew she was leaving I didn't even bother to stop for a second and ask her where exactly in Phoenix she was going. I quietly swore to myself as I made my way back out to the motorcycle.
I didn't know where I wanted to go. Going home would be too depressing. I didn't want to go to anyone's house, knowing that they would treat me like I was fragile. I drove straight ahead, going back to the church. Maybe the limo was still there.
It started to drizzle, but that didn't bother me. I wanted to feel the cold; it reminded me that I wasn't completely numb. Stupid, naive, blind but not numb.
She probably realized that she didn't need me. That's why she didn't say goodbye; she didn't need it to be final. She was fine with just leaving, walking out of my life without looking back.
I was running through the empty dark streets looking for her. The police asked me where her favorite spots were, but I knew that wasn't where she was going. I slowed down when I finally saw her. Walking a couple feet ahead of me, a backpack on her back and sobs violently shaking her body.
"Why are you following me Edward?" She didn't even bother to stop and turn around to talk to me.
I continued following her, leaving only a few feet between us. "Why are you running Bella?"
"I'm not running, I'm walking."
"Stop following me." Her voice got hard.
"You honestly think that you can make it all the way to Arizona by walking? If you want to see her you could have asked me. I would have driven you there."
"You just got your license; you think Charlie would let you drive me all the way to Arizona?"
I closed the distance between us and grabbed her hand. "Do you think Charlie is happy with this? He is freaking out, thinking that something happened to you. I knew where you were going so I told him to give me a couple of hours before he starts posting up those missing signs."
She pulled her hand out of mine. "It's her fault." She started to cry again. I grabbed her hand again and pulled her towards me. She pressed her hands against me, but I wouldn't have any of that. I pulled her into me and wrapped my arms around her tightly.
"It's not fair! The first time she calls me in years is to tell me that she is getting married! She just walks away from me and my dad without a single glance back and then goes to some other man. He has kids. He has two kids! What is she thinking?!"
"So why do you want to walk all the way to Arizona?"
"Because I want to tell her how much I hate her. I want to tell her that she is the worst mother. I want to tell her that I still haven't and never will forgive her for hurting me and my dad."
"You know none of that is true Bella. If it was, you wouldn't bother going to see her, you would just phone her. You are mad that she is getting married, but I think you are more jealous. You want your mom Bella. It's ok to say that, Charlie won't hate you because of that." She didn't say anything. I knew I was right. "Next time you want to do something like this, how about be honest with your dad."
"He will get mad. It will be like I am betraying him. Wanting to see my mom when she walked out on us," she sniffled.
"No, your dad loves you. He understands. I think it would hurt him more if you said you hate her, because deep down, he still loves Renee. And you don't need to lie to me and say that you hate her, and you definitely do not need to lie to yourself."
I held her in my arms until the crying ceased.
"Thanks for coming after me Edward."
"Just promise me you will never leave the city, state or country without saying goodbye to me first."
My breathing got heavier. My vision was being blurred from the rain mixing with the tears in my eyes. All those promises were broken. All I had of her now were memories.
I had just turned the corner when I saw a figure sitting on the steps of the church. Who would be sitting out in the rain in front of the church? The figure stood up, watching me come closer and closer. The rain, like a veil, prevented me from seeing who it was. I stopped the bike by the curb but didn't bother getting up.
What was she doing here?
"Lucy?" I whispered. I wasn't sure she heard. The rain and wind swallowed my words.
"I promised you I would come to your wedding. I couldn't leave without saying goodbye."
"Bella." I dropped the bike and ran the few steps of the church. I was standing right in front of her. Her long brown hair was plastered to her face. Her eyes were swimming in tears.
"What are you doing driving around in the rain on your wedding day?" She pushed my hair out of my eyes. A smile appeared on her lips.
"I decided to make some last minute changes." Standing in front of Bella, it felt like the cold and rain were gone. "I have been looking for you everywhere."
"So I have heard."
"I'm not late, am I?" My voice shook.
"I could have waited a hundred years for you and you still wouldn't be late." Was it possible for a man to be as happy as I was at the moment?
"You don't need to say anything. I feel everything you feel."
"No but I need to say this." I felt a goofy grin on my face. What I was going to say sounded so simple, I meant it when I said it before, but this time they held a different truth. I gently held her face in my hand. "I love you." Those three words sent a wave of emotion through me. My past, present and future all flashed before my eyes, and they all contained Bella.
She reached up and placed her hands around my neck, "I have always loved you."
I couldn't prolong the moment, my body was aching for her. Our lips finally met, moving together in ways I only dreamed of. At that moment I realized what I had been trying to deny, she was my soul mate, and nothing in this world could make me think other wise. No forces can keep us apart. No matter what the situation was we always found our way back to each other, where we belong. This wasn't me in my drunken stupor. This wasn't me as a kid who just kissed her because everyone else was doing it.
This was me finally finding my other half; this was me completely in love. And for the first time in my life, in that one single kiss, I felt everything I needed in my life, right in front of me.
Thanks for reading this and thank you for all the nice reviews! I know this story kept a lot of you anxious, but I hope it ended the way you wanted it to! Sorry it took me a while to put this up. As I said, I will probably start a sequel in a couple of weeks. If not a sequel then a new story so look out for that. Thanks guys!