A/N: Everyone has their idea of their own Mary-Sue!Harry Potter, and think that by just saying Powerful!Harry Potter, that that makes it different. I wanted to take it a step further. This isn't just a Powerful!Harry Potter... this is SUPERMAN!Harry Potter.

Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter or Superman, why the hell would I be posting fan fiction on my own story?


The Boy who Lived.

And Conquered.

And Kicked Arse.

And Was Super Powerful.

The story of how Harry Potter survived the attack on him as a child by Lord Voldemort is a vast spread tale, a tale of hope, a tale of courage, bravery and triumph over one of the greatest evils the Wizarding World was to ever know. Of course, what no one had ever bothered to ask is, how did the story spread, if everyone involved was either dead or too young to know what even happened?

To many's surprise, the story came from two main sources. The spite of Lord Voldemort himself to the few he would tell what happened, and the manipulating words of Albus Dumbledore, who was doing his best to restore hope through the wizarding community. While Voldemort would go on about how he was tricked, how the prophecy must have been false, how he meant for it to happen to bide his time - anything to avoid admitting that a child had beaten him, Dumbledore would do the opposite by saying Voldemort was weak, that he paled in comparison to powers such as 'love' or 'friendship' - anything to avoid admitting that it was a fluke that the child had beaten him.

But both were wrong in their stories. Occasionally, they would get close to the truth, but usually they would not. There was no 'ancient love magic', there was no 'Voldemort dashed away in a cloak' or anything of the sort.

Here's how it went down.

Voldemort, in his confidence in his own abilities, walked right up to the door of Godric's Hollow, effectively wiping out the naive and stupid James Potter, who answered the door when Voldemort knocked and said he was from 'Fed-Ex', and proceeding to kill the equally annoying Lily Potter when she heard James's body slump to the floor and walked over to investigate.

Voldemort, rather than being dressed in the black, 'terrifying' robe that he adopted after the failed attempt on Godric's Hollow, was dressed in a lose fitting light blue robe, that was on sale at Diagon Alley.

Voldemort proceeded to walk happily up the stairs of Godric's Hollow, before finally making his way into Harry Potter's room. Quickly, with little theatrics, as if this was routine, not even taking his time to dramatically look into the eyes of young Harry like so many people thought he did, he simply swished and flicked.

"Avada Kedavra." Voldemort said rather tiredly. Now what came next was the part no one expected. The spell, the Killing Curse, designed to kill humans, did not work on this boy. Instead it rebounded right of his chest and straight back into Voldemort, who's last words were not something tame as the usual and much overused 'Oh, Merlin', but something more vulgar, more suited for a dark lord.

"MOTHER FUC-"

And the Killing Curse rebounded off the boy, to hit Voldemort right between the eyes. And Voldemort died. His soul however, could not go to the afterlife without its other parts, so it sought out a Horcrux and reunited with it, slowly making up his own body again.

And Dumbledore so happened to stumble onto the scene. Albus had heard the confrontation and had 'dashed' over as fast as he could. He walked into Godric's Hollow to find James and Lily Potters' body unceremoniously in front of the opened door, which he broke down to make it seem like a breaking and entering,and then he moved Lily Potter's body in front of Harry's crib, to make it seem like she died protecting him, before he transfigured Voldemort's cheap blue robe into a deep, dark, black robe, for dramatic effect, of course.

Right before Dumbledore was about to call in the Order, he added one more step in, just for theatrics. While thinking up a random Ancient Love-Protection Spell that someone would believe actually existed, he pointed a wand at the forehead of baby Harry, and thinking of the first shape that came into his head, he made it seem as if there was a lightning-shaped scar on Harry's head.

Only after that, he began to wish he had made it a love-heart instead.

THAT is how it really happened. Voldemort screwed up, was caught by surprise, did not know what really happened, and Dumbledore, the only one who knew that the Potter's actually adopted the boy decided to comply with the so called 'prophecy', and decided to make it into a great spectacle of a story.

Why?

Dumbledore had plans. Big plans.


So there's my ten minute prologue, before I dive into the Super-Harry-Potter stuff. I might write more, if I get bored. This'll be a cliche'd parody fic - Manipulative!Dumbledore, Evil-but-good-slytherin-mary-sue-powerful-super-bad-ass!Harry Potter and Powerful-but-eventually-defeated-for-the-sake-of-the-story!Voldemort. Along with random girls who just so happen to fall in love with Harry to boot.

Predictable? I THINK NOT!