The Godfather

"You called, Master?" Alucard said, poking his head into her office. The rest of him soon followed. At least he used the door this time, even if he didn't bother opening it.

"Yes. Mr. Guyton would like to speak with you." She gestured at a soldier standing nervously by her desk, and then looked back down at whatever she'd been reading. Alucard turned his attention to the Hellsing foot soldier; it wasn't someone he recognized.

"Sir…I have a favor to ask of you." He was twisting his hat in his hands, clearly nervous.

"A favor? What sort of favor?" If it involved killing things, he might be interested…

"Well, see, it's like this. I have a daughter, a baby girl, and she's being christened on Sunday. The missus told me I had to find godparents right quick. She's none too happy with me right now, seeing as how it was a difficult birth and all, and I was wondering…well, I…"

"What Mr. Guyton has neglected to mention," Sir Integra interrupted, "is that both he and his wife are Catholic."

Alucard raised an eyebrow at that. "You have Catholics working for the Royal Order of Protestant Knights?"

"Equal Opportunity Employment laws," Sir Integra said with a shrug. "SAS recommended him. We did a thorough background check; he has no ties to the Vatican."

"What happened was, my wife, well, her folks were Catholic. So when we got married, well, I converted too. But I'm loyal to England through and through, honestly," he added hastily. "It's just, my own family, they're Anglican, of course, and so's everyone I work with here, so I asked around, and the only one anyone could think of who was Catholic was…you." He gulped, and then looked up with something between a desperate plea and fear on his face.

"You want me to be…your daughter's…godfather?" Alucard asked skeptically. He must be misunderstanding something somewhere.

The man nodded miserably. "Please?" he said tentatively.

Alucard burst out laughing. "What does that entail these days?" he asked.

"Not too much," the man said, trying to reassure him. "You just have to be there at the baptism, and well, if anything should happen to my wife and me, then you're supposed to make sure she grows up in the faith. That's all, really."

"And considering your line of work, there is a good chance you won't be there to see her grow to adulthood," Alucard said bluntly.

"Yes, sir." Mr. Guyton looked thoroughly miserable. "Will…will you do it?"

Alucard looked at Integra. She was not watching them, though obviously she had heard the entire conversation. "Master?"

"This is up to you, Alucard," she said, looking up. "It would be your responsibility. I have nothing to –" She cut off when she saw the eager gleam in his eyes. "I have nothing to say about whether or not you accept. However, should you choose to accept, I will have plenty to say about your behaviour in that church."

"You do realize I am not well suited for the task, do you not?" he asked poor Mr. Guyton. The request amused him more than anything, but it was so bizarre, he was considering it. It would be so, so wrong for him to accept the responsibility of spiritual guidance for an innocent young girl. He grinned just thinking about it.

Mr. Guyton nodded. "I know you're not a…church-going man. Or even a man at all, really." He winced. "But my wife is going to kill me if I go home tonight and tell her I couldn't find anyone. She asked her sister before the baby was even born."

"We wouldn't want that, surely," Alucard said, clearly implying that should she fail to do so, he'd be happy to take up the slack. "If you are foolish enough to request it, I see no reason to disappoint you. It's been ages since someone has even asked me to do that. I must warn you, though, that your parish priest will not be able to find my baptismal certificate anywhere. I'm sure it was lost in a fire…several centuries ago."

"Oh, that's okay. He'll just ask you if you're Catholic, he doesn't really need proof."

Alucard frowned. "I was, at one time, but I'm not sure I am now."

"You weren't…excommunicated or nothing…were you?"

"Not officially." He laughed again. "But I'm pretty sure I'm not in good standing. Even the holy water doesn't like me any more."

"Are you okay with…going in a church…and stuff?" he asked, as if finally realizing that he'd just asked a vampire to be his baby daughter's godfather.

Alucard nodded. "And what is her name?"

"Anna Maria. After my wife's mother."

After thanking him a few times, and bowing to both Alucard and Integra, Mr. Guyton left.

Integra looked at her vampire. "Now. About this baptism. You will not terrify the parish priest or cause any incident whatsoever. You will not harm little Anna Maria Guyton just because her father is a fool. And you will at least attempt not to look like a vampire while you are out. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Master. I won't eat the baby, I won't destroy the church, I'll leave my guns at home and I'll even call the priest 'Father.' Does that cover it?"

She let out a breath in a sigh. "And Alucard? For God's sake, try to keep this man alive. If he accidentally meets a sticky end on one of your missions, I will personally make sure you are babysitting that little girl once a week. Do I make myself perfectly clear?"

"At least he's honest," Alucard mused, pretending to ignore her implications. "He could have gotten anyone to just say they were Catholic and stand in."

"Which is, I am sure, what his wife will tell him when he gets home and she finds out what he's done."

"Come now, am I really that untrustworthy around young girls?" He looked at her pointedly.

"I had the distinct advantage of being your Master. Anna Maria won't have that luxury. Do try to behave yourself for once, Alucard." She looked tired.

Alucard left Integra's office in good spirits. The problem about living so indefinitely long was that after awhile, there was nothing new. Every day was the same. But today, at least, had been different, and Sunday would as well. He would have a goddaughter, a concept that was beyond strange. Despite his master's misgivings, he would take this seriously. Well, as seriously as he took anything.

Author's Note: In honor of my niece's baptism on Sunday. I thought this rather bizarre oneshot up while making her christening gown. Yes, I'll be the godmother. Scary, isn't it? Though the godfather will just be my brother, not an undead vampire.