A/N: I am sick of all the stories about James and Lily where Lily has been raped/abused/uses drugs/leads a secret life/is a prostitute etc. Why was James always the knight in shining armor? I think it's Lily's turn to save James, and thus; this story was created. This story has been extremely hard for me to write, not only because I love James and don't want to make him out as the bad guy (it HAD to be done though!) but also because a lot of this story is from personal experiences and things that are hard to share with others.

Disclaimer: No, still not J.K.

WARNING! I should probably tell you all that there are a lot of drugs, foul language, fights and some mature scenes in this story, if you don't like any of this, I suggest you don't read.

Now, onwards ;)

PROLOGUE

... Bam ...
His wand was long forgotten by now and the only thing he could feel was his fist connecting with some other bloke's skull.
... Bam ...
A searing, blinding pain erupted above his left eyebrow, making blood trickle down and into his eye.
... Bam ...
With two quick moves he gave one guy a black-eye and the other one a shiner across the cheek.
... Trapped ...
Four strong arms held him back and someone hit him hard on the mouth and in his stomach, causing him to bend over in pain.
... Bam ...
He managed to break free and deliver several more punches. It was all instinct now. And then, a scream.
...

"Stop it!" she called out, and all the boys immediately froze. "Stay right there!" the petite, red headed girl called, making him grin.

"Evans, how lovely of you to join us."

He could see her emerald eyes flashing even in the pitch dark night.

"Potter?" she said, surprised, and then added muttering. "I should've guessed."

He couldn't help but smile, then wincing at the pain it caused him.

"Okay boys, take your wands. Those of you who need it, go to the hospital wing, the rest of you get back to your common rooms." She said harshly and the boys all mumbled something in response, her fiery temper well known amongst the students. Nobody wanted to be the one to suffer her wrath. They all turned to leave but her voice made them stop.

"Oh and ten points each from Ravenclaw, ten points each from Slytherin. Ten points from Mr Black and Mr Pettigrew from Gryffindor. And finally five points from Potter."

"Why'd you only take five points off of him?" a particularly brave, or stupid, Ravenclaw boy moaned.

"Because it was five points for fighting, and five points for being out on the grounds after curfew. Since Potter here is Head Boy he's allowed on the grounds after hours. Therefore he only got five points for the fighting. Now, get out of my sight before I take more points or report you to McGonagall!" she threatened.

They all turned to leave, again, but after a few steps she called again.

"Potter, wait."

Sirius shot him a questioning look and James shrugged and motioned for them to go ahead.

He turned just in time to see her walking towards him. He couldn't see her expression in the dark, but from the dim moonlight he could tell her face wasn't pale with rage, instead, her eyes sparkled in concern.

"Hey, are you alright?" she asked softly.

"I've been better, and worse. But I'm fine."

"Why did you fight with them?"

"Er..." why had he? "I'm not sure... One of them started picking on Peter, Sirius jumped at his defence, and then it all sort of... I don't know... Got out of control I guess."

She nodded, her eyes nor her tone were judging him and something coiled in his belly. The fire in her eyes were not lit by anger, instead they burned with something he had lived without for so long it staggered him now. Concern, and more importantly, concern without the companion pity that seemed to overshadow the looks in his friends' eyes.

"Do you need to go to the hospital wing? You got hurt pretty bad from what I could see."

"Nah, I'm fine. Madam Pomfrey doesn't mend scratches like these anyways, especially them from fighting. It'll heal eventually."

She bit her lip, as if dying to say something but not sure how it would be taken. However, she made up her mind and continued, if not a bit shakily.

"That thing on your lip doesn't look too well, though... You know, I'm pretty good at charms–"

"Quit being so modest Evans," he cut her off, grinning "you're excellent at charms."

She blushed, but smiled.

"Okay, fine, I'm good at charms. What I meant was that I could probably mend at least the cut on your lip and your forehead." she said, then seemed to panic. "I mean, you don't have to or anything, it's just that... well you know it might be nice." she added hastily. "I just -"

"Evans, that'd be great." he interrupted her again, grinning wider, almost forgetting about the pain it caused him.

She smiled up at him and shook some hair out of her eyes.

"Glad I can help."

She took out her wand and placed it on his face. She wrinkled her forehead in concentration whilst muttering a spell and James could feel the skin mending beneath the tip of her wand.

"There, all done." she said after a while, smiling slightly.

"Thank you." He said sincerely and then hesitated slightly before continuing. "I'm sorry for tonight; that you had to come and stop it. That you had to see it."

"It wasn't your fault, really." she assured him.

He muttered the password to their dorm and allowed her to go in first.

"So, good night." she smiled.

He flashed his brilliant white teeth at her in a heart melting smile.

"Good night. And thanks, you know, for everything."

"Anytime."

Their eyes met briefly and she blushed before rushing into her room.

She thought about him all night, what had formed him into the man he was today? What had happened that had forced him to build those walls around him?

She couldn't read him at all, no one really could. The only one who was even close to getting him was Sirius. Hopefully, one day it would be her too.

As it was now she could never tell if he was mad or happy, if he wanted to talk or if he wanted to be left alone.

But she would learn one way or another; she just had to.


A/N: So, there you have it, the other chapters will be longer and darker! And, as always, review please!

P.S. also, if someone found any grammatical errors, misspellings (?) or anything else and think that, yeah, wow, I'd like to beta this, feel free to tell me :D