A/N: I know, I'm horrible. Updates WILL get better though, I'll explain at the bottom. For now; enjoy :)
7. Come on courage
You step a little closer to me, so close that I can't see what's going on. Stones taught me to fly, love taught me to lie, life taught me to die. So come on courage, teach me to be shy. So it's not hard to fall, I don't want to scare her, it's not hard to fall, and I don't want to loose her, so it's not hard to fall when you've flown like a cannonball.
The water streamed down her face and she sang happily, sang so loudly that she barely noticed the shower curtain rustling and the tell tale steps behind her.
His hands came to rest on her waist as he kissed her neck and she smiled, content.
"Mind if I join you?" he said huskily and she laughed, she'd take all opportunities to bring him out of the bad mood he'd been in since he'd opened up more to her about his past.
She looked down at his hands and shivered as they began rubbing circles on her skin. It was a fetish of hers, how his tanned skin stood out so well against her own pale, creamy complexion.
He turned her slowly and kissed her softly for a moment, speaking of love and adoration and she melted beneath him, like she always did.
The soft kiss turned more heated and his tongue mated with hers in precise passion.
"Tell me." He murmured as he paused for breath and kissed down her neck and she shivered again.
"No." she said weakly and he kissed her neck harder, bruising the skin, marking her as his.
"Tell me." He growled hoarsely.
"No." she said again, not convincing anybody with her shaky voice.
He pushed her against the wall and hitched a leg around his waist.
"Tell me." He demanded and attacked her naked chest.
"You're the only one." She whispered brokenly and he moaned.
"You're the only one who has ever touched me, ever kissed me… The only one."
"And it's going to stay that way." He promised and her back arched against him.
It turned him on to no end that she had never been with anyone before him and she'd noticed that if she'd talk about it a bit, she was not only able to get away with more, but he tended to do whatever she wanted him to do.
"Tell me you love me." She demanded this time as he pushed into her.
"I love you." He gasped and held on to her more tightly.
"I love you. You know I do, more than I've ever loved anyone else, more than I'll ever love anyone else."
"If you promise to be always mine." He responded, stopping for a moment and looking deep in to her eyes, his own the familiar hazel, but darkened with lust.
"I promise." She whispered and met his gaze unflinchingly.
"Then I promise too."
"James?" she whispered in his ear and he groaned into the pillow.
"James, come on, you git. Get up! We have classes, we already missed the first one!"
"Go away…" he grumbled, "Don't fucking shout this fucking early, okay?"
"I'm not shouting!" she protested softly "You're just hung-over. As usual." She added under her breath. He stiffened and glared at her, he'd obviously heard her. Still, she couldn't bring herself to take it back. She was so tired of this, so tired of kissing him when all she could taste on his tongue was smoke and firewhisky, so tired of holding him when he cried himself to sleep, fending off invisible monsters.
"Well," his voice brought her back and she turned to look at him "if I bother you that much, why don't you just go and fuck someone else, then?"
"Nice, James. Thanks, I'm glad you think so much of me!" she snapped and got out of bed, tears stinging behind her eyelids.
Furiously she stalked out to the bathroom and slammed the door behind her.
She thought she heard him curse and get out of bed but was too mad to really care. He banged on the door a few times, but she didn't answer him.
"Come on, Lils," his voice was slightly muffled through the door "I didn't mean that, you know I didn't mean that. I'm just being a prat, and I shouldn't, not to you, and I'm sorry!"
She finished brushing her hair and pulled it into her regular ponytail with angry, jerky movements.
"Lils, come on, don't be like that."
She opened the door and stalked past him.
"Lily, please, I'm really sorry." he pleaded and touched her shoulder.
"Don't touch me, you bastard!" she yelled and flinched away from him.
"I said I was sorry, what else do you want me to say?" he shouted back and she pushed pass him in search of her underwear, screaming as she went.
"You think sorry is going to cut it? You practically called me a whore, James!" she spun around to look at him, his arms were folded across his chest and he had a bored look about him, as if this kind of thing happened on a regular basis and she was boring him with her mood.
"You know what? Maybe I will find someone else to fuck, so you won't have to deal with me any longer!"
He got over to her in less than a second, grabbing her arm harshly.
"Say that again." he dared her, his eyes pitch black and murderous. "Fucking say it again." he punctuated the words with shaking her roughly. She winced and drew back, pulling her arm out of his grip, staring at him defiantly.
"Don't you ever talk like that again," he warned her "you're mine, okay? And I don't like to share." he growled.
"Then don't you ever say something like that again, or I swear I will walk out that door." she bit out furiously and his face softened.
"I am sorry. I'm in a pissy mood and hung over, I didn't mean it, honest. The very thought of it makes me want to throw up."
She studied his eyes, to see if there was anything in them that counteracted what he'd said, but found nothing. She nodded tiredly and allowed herself to be pulled into a hug.
"I love you." he whispered and she hugged him closer.
"I love you too."
She drew a brush through her still damp hair and carefully applied the black mascara to her lashes. Their first Hogsmeade weekend was finally there and Lily and James were going, officially, as a couple. The whole school obviously knew that Hogwarts most eligible bachelor had finally settled down with the quiet redhead he'd been pining after for some years, but still, he had never made it official, this way, before. Girls were still glaring at her disapprovingly and she'd been cornered in the bathroom by some of them. Lily scowled at the memory.
"Lily Evans?" the gorgeous blonde said and smoothed her skirt nervously.
"Yes?" she answered suspiciously.
"Is it true that you're dating James Potter?" she said in a rush as if wanting to get it out of her so that the thought could leave her alone.
"Yes, it is."
"He… He's not safe, Lily, I know he's gorgeous and with the added mystery of him he's… irresistible. Because there's nothing we girls like more, is it?"
Lily frowned and the blonde hurried to explain.
"Figure out the mystery and help him, it doesn't hurt he's brilliant in bed and the sweetest of the lot when he's sober."
Lily nodded and smiled tentatively.
"Thank you for your concern, but it's different with James and I, I can't explain it, but I'm not like –" she paused and bit her lip.
"It's okay," the blonde smiled "you can say it. You're not like me, you're not the common slut."
"I didn't mean it that way." She defended herself but the blonde girl laughed.
"I know, and it's okay." Her eyes darkened as the seriousness of the situation came back to her. "Just… tread carefully. He really hurt me, and not just emotionally I'm afraid."
Lily stared at the girl in shock.
"He hit you?"
"He didn't mean to, I don't think. He was pissed, as usual, and I didn't keep my mouth shut… He broke up with me the morning after, couldn't even look me in the eye."
"I, I didn't know." She stuttered and the blonde girl shook her head.
"I hope it is different with the two of you, he deserves to be happy, but so do you."
"Thank you again for trying to… look out for me. But I'm a big girl, I can handle him. It is different with us."
"For your sake; I hope that's true."
She shook her head as she tried to shake off the uneasy feeling in her stomach. They were different, their relationship was entirely different she told herself as she pointed the wand at her hair and muttered the spell to dry it instantly.
Smiling at her reflection, pleased with what she was seeing she went to grab her purse and jacket. She wondered briefly at his reaction, he barely ever saw her wearing make up, or her hair down. She couldn't remember him ever seeing her in anything other than her school uniform.
She walked down the staircase and heard a low whistle from behind. Smiling, she turned around and gasped at his appearance.
He, too, was wearing muggle clothing. But like so many other wizards he hadn't messed it up. Instead, the deep blue jumper enhanced his hazel eyes beautifully and contrasted well with his skin. The black jeans he was wearing hung off his hips with an elegance never seen before.
"You look… amazing." he smiled as he took a step towards her.
"I think that's my line." she grinned, smiling too and blushing a bit at the way his eyes raked over her.
"Oh believe me, it's not." he said as he took in the simple, white, v-necked t-shirt she was wearing and the skinny jeans that hugged her hips in a way she had known he would find enticing.
"Do we really have to go to Hogsmeade?" he murmured, his eyes glowing.
"Yes." She smiled and kissed his lips lightly. "I'm awfully low on my chocolate supply."
"I'll go get it for you anytime you want." He promised and she shot him a dazzling smile.
"I'll hold you to that one. Now, come on, I still want to have a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks and I really need a new quill. Besides," she went on "you need more ink."
"Fine, I'll take you." he sighed dramatically and took her hand, dragging her out the portrait hole.
He stopped though, just outside and kissed her hungrily.
"Later." she promised and he smiled his crooked smile, mentally weakening her.
The day had almost been too good to be true. He held her hand all the time and couldn't seem to keep his eyes off of her, which naturally resulted in him walking into people and causing three very funny scenes.
They were currently in the three broomsticks drinking butterbear, which was unusually light for him. He had suggested the new coffee shop, Madame Puddifoot's, hesistantly and she had shaken her head adamantly. To say that he looked relieved would be an understatement.
"I don't think I can tell you how relieved I am that you didn't want to go to that awful, awful place." He shuddered and she smiled.
"Well what can I say? I'm not like your other girls James." She smiled, pretending she didn't notice the implications beneath her words.
"No, you're not." He said simply and took a sip of his butterbear, smiling as the fuzzy feeling spread in his body. He reached over and took her hand in his, rubbing small circles on her skin.
"I'm really glad we did this today."
"How so?" she asked, eager but at the same time unwilling to learn his answer.
"I was…" he searched for the right word "afraid, of how it would be. If it would change anything."
"And did it?" she asked, breath in her throat.
"It was surprisingly good to claim you publicly, to let the world know you're mine." his voice was possessive, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She was his. What was the point in denying it?
He cocked his head and studied her for a bit before continuing.
"We should do things like this more often."
"Go to Hogsmeade?"
"Spend the day together, outside. Not lie in bed all day." he grinned suddenly. "Not that that's not amazing."
"James." she whispered and looked around, blushing a bit.
"Mind out of the gutter, Evans, I meant cuddling."
She rolled her eyes and he smirked.
"Sure you did" she said sarcastically "and my mother goes under the name 'Bert'."
"Interesting, I'll have to remember that when I meet your family."
She looked at him in surprise and stammered out the words.
"Y-You want t-to meet m-my family?"
He looked hesitant, unsure, as if he didn't quite know how to respond.
"I- yes, someday. If it's not too much too soon."
She gave him a dazzling smile and he relaxed under her gaze.
"No, quite the contrary actually, I've been meaning to ask you for a while now. Mum's been bugging me to bring you home over Christmas, actually."
"Really?" he said, sounding eager.
"Yeah." She confirmed and suddenly he frowned.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"I didn't want to scare you away…" she trailed off and blushed a bit. "And I didn't want you to meet my sister…" she mumbled and he had a funny expression on his face.
"Why?" he said bewildered and… hurt, so she hurried to explain herself.
"No! Not because of you, well, partly because of you, because you're a wizard." She babbled and he shot her a smile.
"Lily, slow down."
"Thank you." she smiled shyly and took a few calming breaths. "My sister, Petunia, she's very… she's the muggle opposite of purebloods who don't like muggleborns."
"She doesn't like the fact that you're a witch?"
"No, or anything that has to do with my world. She's mainly jealous that I'm a witch, I think. She even wrote a letter to Dumbledore about it, that maybe they'd done some mistake when she hadn't gotten her letter."
"Is that so?" he asked, intrigued. She didn't talk about her family all that much and he'd noticed it. He never pushed her like she pushed him about revealing their secrets and instead let her take her time. Still, whenever she let something slip, he couldn't help but hang on to every word.
"Yeah, I felt bad for her first. But one can only be called 'freak' so many times."
"I never thought about it that way…" he said slowly, trailing off and staring out in space. She sighed, he did this annoyingly often, started a sentence or a thought and didn't finish until much later.
"Yes?" she prompted and he was snapped back to the presence.
"I always knew you had to deal with the unjust opinions of every thick-headed pureblood here, and some half-bloods too, mind you, I just always thought that you were accepted at home. But it's like… it's like you're out of place everywhere."
She looked down at the table and her cheeks burned a little in shame.
"I think you're amazing, Lily, how strong you are…" he said quietly and she looked up at him surprised. He was always so brutally honest about everything, so when he said these kind of things she could always be sure that he meant them.
It didn't stop her from asking, anyway.
"Really? I don't want you to feel bad for me."
"I'm angrier at your sister, to be honest." he suddenly smirked. "So… is she pretty?"
She glared; he played the jealousy card far too often to be fair.
"No. She's not. Why do you ask?"
"Oh, you know… I might be able to change her view about us wizards once I've worked my magic on her."
"That's not funny, James."
"Kidding, Merlin, you know I only have eyes for you."
She smiled satisfied and relaxed back into her seat.
"So you'll come stay with me for a while during Christmas break?"
"Do you want me to?"
"What sort of stupid question is that? Of course I want you there. If I had any say in what life would be like, you'd always be beside me."
He grinned and leaned towards her, kissing her lightly.
"That, I can arrange." He grinned.
"I'll have to write to my mum about this… and… oh god." She buried her face in her hands.
"What?" he asked worriedly and she blushed for what seemed like the millionth time that day.
"I'll have to tell her we're sleeping in the same room."
"So? You're of age, aren't you?"
"Well, yes, but still… Oh the embarrassment."
"If it makes you feel better, I can sleep on the couch while I'm there."
"Don't be ridiculous," she snapped angrily and saw him bite back a smile "I can't sleep anyway if you're not next to me."
He smiled now and she noted that he'd done that a lot today.
"Well, what if she made a bed for me in your room, and I'll still sleep in your bed, only anyone won't know."
"That, right there, that's why I love you." She smiled and he laughed.
His laugh was so infectious, so unbelievably beautiful she couldn't help but laugh with him.
"So, for what time do you want to stay with us? The whole Christmas break or…?"
"Well, I don't really have anyplace else to be… and Sirius can probably spend Christmas with Remus or something, so yeah, the whole break. Unless," he hesitated again, and she found him adorable as he did "unless you don't want me to stay all the time? I don't want to be any problem." He added and she smiled at him.
"You're not any problem, we'll be more than happy to have you."
"I don't want to get in the way of your family traditions."
"You won't, but they'll be bearable with you beside me."
He nodded and smiled a small smile as he relaxed back in his chair. He stared quietly out the window and Lily had to look away, his beauty almost hurt her eyes.
"But James, if you're staying… No drugs and no alcohol, okay?" she said quietly and saw him blush a bit. He wouldn't meet her eye as he gave a quick nod.
"Of course, I promise."
She took his hand and squeezed it in a silent thank you, and they stayed silent for the rest of their butterbear, both lost in thought.
They would make up for the silence later and Lily hoped it would not be by talking as she once again tore her gaze from his arms and took another sip of the liquid warmth.
A/N: Sorry, sorry, sorry it took so long to get out! School is killing me though, literally, and as much as I would like to sit all day writing about a dark and sexy James Potter, sometimes I just don't have the time for it. I'm writing a children's book in school, you see, it's my project (I have no idea if you have those anywhere else in the world, but in Sweden we do) and it's been taking up all my time. It's a group thing, so if I wasn't getting my stuff in on time it was hurting my best friend so I had to focus on that for a while.
But I'm glad to announce that it is now finished and going to a publisher as we speak! (Or, at least I am) Wish me luck with that!
Anyway, tell me what you thought of the chapter, and the increasingly annoying James, he is annoying, isn't he? Don't worry, you'll get your answers soon. I'm going to England for christmas and won't be back until January, but I'm going to write while I'm there so it won't take so long next time.
Merry Christmas everyone :):)