Jasper rested his forehead against the cold window, long limbs folded to fit the narrow windowsill, eyes staring intently into the dark outside. It was exactly a year to the day that he had made the biggest mistake of his immortal life, that he had given in to the fallen angel's pleading although he should have known better.
He knew Edward had refused to do her the favour of turning her and heaven knew, Jasper had resented him for it. Everything would have been so much easier if she'd been a vamp, no more walking temptation making it any harder for him. Still, the moment she'd asked him to do it, to turn her, he'd been hesitant.
Jasper hadn't believed her when she'd said she wanted him to do it, felt she was betraying Edward's trust by asking him, but her intoxicating scent had soon numbed every last bit of doubt, the dull ache at the back of his throat just too strong to ignore. An almost imperceptible nod to answer the unspoken question lingering in his eyes before his teeth had sunk into her warm, soft skin and the sweet taste of her very being spilling onto his tongue, down his throat.
He cringed inwardly at the memory. He'd never get used to the feeling of guilt seeping into his very core whenever a thought of her came up. If only things hadn't gone so horribly wrong, it sure would have been easier to face his family, to face Edward, every day for eternity.
Another vivid memory pushed insistently into his mind. A warm night when he had to pick her up, look out for her, as Edward had been hunting. He'd driven her home but about half way of their journey she'd fallen asleep, stray strands of hair falling upon her closed eyelids. He'd gently brushed them away, enjoying the peaceful expression on her angelic features, illuminated by the occasional flicker of headlights from passing cars.
Jasper wondered, not for the first time, if he could have saved her had he been more strong-willed, had he been able to resist her pleading eyes. She had wanted him to do it, pleaded with him, knowing he was the weakest link and most likely to give in. Looking up into the stars, he knew he couldn't blame her even if he wanted to. He forgave her a long time ago and seeing the dark sky gradually fade into a light blue tinted in orange in yellow he knew he'd always forgive her, no matter what the sin. For blue skies on every new day to push away the darkness that surrounded him at night.