I woke up screaming for the fifth night in a row. Roxas woke up immediately, and two minutes later, Squall and Cloud were at my door. The lights were turned on and I closed my eyes at the unwelcome brightness. I eventually opened my eyes, trying to adjust to the light, but it felt like my eyes were burning.
"Sora, are you okay?" I looked up and saw the concerned face of my oldest brother. "Did you have another nightmare?"
I guess I should explain a little…Long story short, I'm broken. I have nightmares almost every night and my brothers just won't stop worrying about me. I'm bordering on the edge of paranoia, but for some reason my friends still care. I don't understand all the time, but I guess it's human nature?
"Sorry," I apologized. I woke them up again.
"Sora, are you okay?" he asked me again.
"I'm fine, Cloud," I replied. "Just…go back to bed," I laid down and pulled my covers up over my head. After about three minutes, I heard Cloud and Squall walk out of the room and Roxas laid back down in his bed. The lights flickered off.
I couldn't get back to sleep. Either I couldn't or I didn't want to. My nightmares are about something that happened about a year ago…
You see, there's this gang in Twilight Town (where I live). They call themselves the 13th Order…They destroyed all of the other gangs in the town, and they killed my parents. I was there at the time…they didn't see me, but my oldest brother Cloud seems to think that they might come back for me, so he makes my and twin and I share a room.
The 13th Order is made up of 7 members, and they always have their faces hidden. They always vanish before the police arrive, and their crimes have gone from small thefts to full blown attacks and murders. Their thefts of banks and murdering of important political figures have put Twilight Town in a state of worry. Everyone's paranoid that their child or someone they know is a member of the 13th Order, and prices have risen drastically, which is really why my brothers and I live in such this sorry apartment.
Squall and Cloud keep arguing, and it's all because of me. I can hear them sometimes, usually when they think I'm asleep. Squall thinks I really need therapy and that Cloud should stop flipping out over the tiniest things, and that my mental state is weak and I'm traumatized. Cloud argues back that we don't have the money for any professional help and I'm fine with my friends. He admits that my mental state is weak, but says that I could be the next target of the 13th Order, and he doesn't want to lose me. Cloud's protective of us, but especially protective of me. He never lets me go anywhere without Roxas or one of my friends and I always have to be home before dark.
I must've fallen asleep at some point because the next thing I remember was seeing sunlight pouring in through my window. Roxas was still asleep in his bed, and according to my clock, it was 10.30. Which was weird…on a Saturday, Cloud usually has me up before 8.00. I got out of bed, not bothering to change out of my shorts and over sized shirt, and walked dazedly to the kitchen.
Cloud was sat at the kitchen table with his head in his arms. He was already dressed in a casual black T-shirt and blue jeans. I couldn't see Squall anywhere, and I couldn't figure out if Cloud was awake or not, so I just left him alone. I made myself a bowl of cereal and sat across from Cloud and began eating. Cloud hadn't moved, so he was either deep in thought, asleep or dead.
"How long have you been awake?" Cloud asked, looking up.
"Only a few minutes," I replied. "Why didn't you come and wake me up?"
"Because you barely sleep after you have a nightmare, and you've been tired all week," Cloud replied. "I figured we could all do with a sleep in,"
"Why are you still awake, then?" I asked. "You try to do so much by yourself. You should just relax once in a while,"
"I don't feel like I can," Cloud admitted.
I got up and put my bowl and spoon in the sink, then replied to Cloud. "It's because of me, isn't it?"
My brother looked at me confused. "What?"
"It's because I'm broken…You haven't relaxed since mum and dad were killed, and you've been trying to become like a parent to Squall, Roxas and I. But you're always fretting about me…You can't relax because I'm broken, right?" This was the first time I'd voiced my feelings to anyone.
"Sora…," I turned to Cloud. "You're not broken. You're just…Sora, it's not your fault. If it's anyone's, it's mine. Don't think like it's all your fault. I push this on myself, and you know I'd do anything to protect you, Roxas and Squall,"
"I'm just what?" I asked. Cloud looked confused. "You said 'you're not broken, you're just…' and then trailed off,"
Cloud shook his head. "You're just you. You're not insane and you're not broken. You're Sora,"
I knew that was a lie. I've heard you, Cloud…I've heard you agree with Squall that I have a weak mental state and that I'm only getting worse. There's no point in lying to me.
"I'm gonna go get changed," I said quietly, walking to my room. I walked over to my desk and noticed that my phone was flashing with a missed message alert. I flipped open the phone and found a text from my friend Kairi.
Meet us at the park at 11.00 with Roxas, kay? We're gonna hit the shops, so bring money!
I smiled to myself…No matter how broken I am, my friends never leave me. My friends...Kairi, Axel, Zexion, Demyx…and of course, my brothers. But only Roxas really hangs out with me, since Axel's his boyfriend.
I was brought out of my thoughts when Roxas practically launched a pillow at the back of my head.