Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck. Oh, and thanks Billatwork. LeeCan, I hope this makes up for the last one! Enjoy.
Two Weeks or Forever
"You know that I can't talk about that." If only he had a nickel for every time she repeated it.
Sarah had said it yet again. Chuck knew that she cared for him. Maybe even that she loved him.
It was in her eyes. It shone through in her smile...
But getting her to admit it was becoming frustrating. And so from this frustration, he did something that you should never do to Sarah Walker.
He pressed her.
"How can you keep saying that", he said with his distinctive whine. Of course, the hidden second meaning was 'how can you keep lying to yourself?'
"Chuck." She warned, giving him a stern look.
"I know, I know. There's oh so many reasons why." He mocked, hitting her square in the heart. "But, Sarah, a man needs to know these things."
You already know, she answered, mentally. Verbally, her answer was less welcome.
"Chuck, you have to understand that with our given situation, I can't be put into a situation that would cause me to-"
"Put you're feelings in front of what needs to be done. I understand, I got that."
"Then you know that I can't--that we can't."
Chuck just rolls his eyes and scoffs at her response.
It's always the same with her--"I'll be compromised" or "I can't let my feelings get in the way"--but to Chuck, the frustration and pain never goes away. The backbone to stand up to the rejection never grows, staying at it's weak stage.
Maybe it's because of how he feels about her or maybe it's because she always rejects him, but Chuck is almost beginning to get fed up with her and her games.
All that he is asking for is a tiny little thread that he can eventually transform into a large rope for him to hold on to her with.
Sarah finally narrows her options down to two, sees the good in both, but can't choose.
After some hard thought, Sarah decides to grant him that long awaited thread.
"Look, the way I see it, you now have two options. We can keep going on like this, the relationship staying simply platonic within my terms or I'll give myself to you for two weeks mentally, physically, emotionally and ask for a reassignment. After those two weeks, you'll never hear from me or see me again."
The way Chuck saw it, he'd end up being hurt, it was just a mater of how long.
From the way Sarah explained it and continued enticing him about it, it seemed that Sarah really wanted the two weeks with him, even if she is saying the decision is his.
If he let the unspoken thing go nowhere, he'd hurt until it went somewhere if ever. And even then, who knew how it'd turn out.
On the other hand, Chuck could have everything he ever wanted from Sarah. He'd finally experience the three words he'd been longing to hear roll out of her mouth. They'd finally be able to be open with each other. He could finally have her as a whole instead of being strung along, leaving a trail of broken hearts behind.
But then she'd leave. The experience would end up being short lived. He'd be ecstatic that he got the chance to have her be his, even if it was for the short time, but he'd be terribly desolate and broken-hearted after her departure.
Yet, he'd be upset for as long as Sarah was still around. With Sarah being around, it'd remind him daily of the choice he made. It'd remind him that he had his chance, and he passed it up.
But most of all, it'd be a daily reminder of how he really felt about her, but how he couldn't act on it.
The possible memory of their two weeks together seemed to beat a constant reminder of his feelings for something he couldn't have.
All Chuck could ever ask for is to hear Sarah say 'I love you' all while losing track of where he ends and she begins.
They were driving. Driving far away from the rest of the world in order to be distraction-less. Not even Casey knew where they were heading. Heck, Chuck didn't even know where they were going. All that mattered was the strong, blond woman was sitting next to him.
The whole ride up, which seemed to be a long one, Chuck was second guessing himself. He was starting to think that this wasn't the right answer. He was fully aware that he was going to get everything he asked for from her, but it just didn't settle well.
He also knew that she'd be leaving. Looking back at when he made the decision, he didn't even put that big of an amount of thought into what his life would be like after she left.
Sarah was the only person who was capable of keeping him out of the underground bunker. Sarah was the only person he could really trust in his secret life. Even Casey couldn't be trusted knowing that he had orders to terminate Chuck.
Who knew how long it'd take him to get over Sarah, even if he did always have the memories from their two weeks together.
Sensing his discomfort, Sarah took her right hand off the steering wheel and placed on Chuck's thigh. Even she couldn't deny the jolt of electricity that flew through her arm upon the touch.
"What's wrong?" She asked, looking over at him for the briefest second.
"Look, Sarah, I know," Sarah quickly pulled off to the side of the road and turned off the car, turning herself to face him. "I know this is what you want to do, and I do too, but... it just seems so wrong."
"It's okay," Sarah replied, starting the car again. "I understand."
"I just... I'd rather hold onto the... friendship that we have than lose it. If I lost you, I don't know what I'd do on so many levels."
Sarah nodded her head in response. Part of her was disappointed but the other part of her knew it was right.
"I'm sorry." Chuck repeated multiple times as they begun driving again.
For every "I'm sorry" Chuck gave, Sarah gave him a sad smile, squeezed his hand that she kept held of, and told him that it was okay.
And it really was.
Unknowingly, Sarah felt terrible for making Chuck feel as bad as he did. He continued saying sorry and didn't once realize that she was more than okay with it.
Of course, she had been looking forward to giving him everything, fulfilling his every need and want, but she was also glad that he changed his mind even if it was at the last minute.
Chuck didn't realize it, but Sarah had been testing him. Sarah hadn't even asked for a reassignment hoping that Chuck would change his mind before they went through with anything. Luckily, Sarah's faith was well invested.
Sarah had sent an unsure Chuck home and told him to stay in his room so that they could talk to Ellie, who was enthused about the couple's trip, together in the morning.
For two hours, Chuck lay in bed, full of remorse. Deep inside him, he knew that changing his mind was the right choice, but a part of him was regretting his choice only because he wouldn't ever hear those three words his ears have been longing to have possession of.
Meanwhile, Sarah had been having a two hour long heated conversation with the Director and the General. Just from the short drive from Chuck's to her hotel suite, she had decided that it'd be best to let her feelings be known to the superiors.
Initially, the Powers had not been happy. At all. But Sarah put her foot down, telling Graham that she wasn't going anywhere. Graham hadn't taken her rudeness well, but that was nothing compared to General Beckham's response. The General was completely against it and was trying to convince Graham, who was closer to agreeing with Sarah more and more, to get Walker out of here pronto.
In reply, Sarah tried to convince the General that her feelings would only help her protect Chuck to a greater extent. Beckham still wasn't convinced.
Sarah then went on to tell them that with having a relationship, the two would move in together, giving Chuck constant supervision and surveillance. So, if Chuck were to flash, be in danger or sneeze, Sarah would be there for it, keeping him in complete safety.
Graham caved in, and agreed to let Sarah and Chuck pursue their feelings for each other as long as nothing terrible came of it. Sarah gave him her indefinite thanks, leaving only the General.
She wasn't going to let this happen. Sensing this, Sarah gave Graham a knowing look.
"This is only because the NSA won't have the higher ground in this operation." Graham had said, setting Beckham off. She threw out remarks about how his agent had screwed this all up and how because of Agent Larkin, all this was happening. Graham threatened her with a piece of her past that may coincidentally become public and Beckham reluctantly agreed.
Now, nearly thirty minutes after the tiring debate, Sarah was standing outside Chuck's window, preparing herself to go in.
No, she said to herself. We can't do this here. Running back to her car, Sarah calls Chuck, praying that he'll answer.
The phone rings and rings without anyone answering it.
"Damn it." She mutters under her breath and calls again.
Chuck felt the phone vibrating in his pocket, and had no doubt of who it was; Sarah. He just didn't think he could face her right now, feeling as terrible as he did.
The vibrating stopped, and Chuck breathed again.
Sarah, now in her car, calls again. "Pick up Chuck." she begs and rests her head on the steering wheel.
Chuck feels the phone vibrate in his pocket again and grudgingly answers it.
"Hmmm?" he answers.
"Chuck?" Sarah asks on the other side of the phone line.
"Meet me at my place as soon as you can."
Chuck sighs. "I don't know Sarah. I don't think that's such a good idea right now."
Even through his self-pity, Chuck can hear the raw emotion in her voice, and gives her an awkward okay. Quietly, without having to get dressed or anything, Chuck exits his room via Morgan-door and drives over to Sarah's.
By the time Chuck go there, Sarah had been there five minutes, barely making it before him.
Chuck hadn't even knocked when Sarah opened the door to let him in. Sarah led the sluggish Chuck into the dim-lighted bedroom where she proceeded to sit on the foot of the bed, pulling him down right next to her.
Sarah reached for his hand, and gently took it. Solely from her touch, Chuck's mood lightened. Sarah could physically see the tightness in his body flee as she rubbed circles into the smooth skin of his palm. The way that he reacted when she touched him gave her a smile.
She was glad she could still have the affect on him even though he felt dreadful.
Breaking her gaze from his hand, and his from his lap, their eyes locked. Chuck was able to see her true feelings just from the distinct coloration and softness. Sarah was able to see the happiness in his from his recognition. Slowly, they leaned forward, their lips softly meeting.
They didn't need a kiss as explosive as the one at the docs. It was perfect. It had the perfect amount of compassion and love to go around.
"Does this mean you're staying?" Chuck questioned, worry on his face.
Sarah brushed her lips with his before whispering, "I love you."
Chuck didn't need any more of an answer. He heard the three words he had waited for and knew that she was there to stay.
This time, their lips met with a lot more for force and passion, much like the docs, as they tumbled onto the bed behind them.
Sarah knew in that very moment that he had stolen her heart.
Chuck knew that forever was much better than two weeks together.