A/N: I have NO IDEA where this came from, so don't ask me!


With one last hand seal, Shikamaru detonated the exploding tags surrounding Hidan, the pieces scattered underground for all eternity...

That had been a year ago, though Hidan had no concept of time being buried underground. As the minutes and days ticked by, he finally got bored with sleeping or counting rocks. With a little shove, he glared at a nearby rock.

"Okay you little fucker, your name is now Hazumo, and I don't want to hear one fucking complaint about it, you hear? I'll fucking kill you! Now we need to come up with a plan to get out of here." He turned to the other side to glare at another rock. "Yeah, you'll do. Your name is Otsune. You got any bright ideas?" Silence. "Damn you both, you'll rot in Jashin-sama's Hell!"

As more minutes and hours ticked by with no plans coming to his mind, he started his rant again. "Damn it, Hazumo, can't you at least get help? You still have your fucking legs. Wait... rocks don't have legs... do they? Fuck. Damn it. Damn Kakuzu. Damn Leader. Couldn't they get a fucking shovel at least and dig me the fuck out of here? Shit." His eyes darted to the other end of the cavern again. "Oi, Otsune, what about you? You gonna dig us out of this fucking hell hole?" Silence. "Fucking bastard Kakuzu, I'm gonna kill that miserly asshole if it's the last thing I do!" Another long silence, then his eyelids drooped reflectively. "Damn you Kakuzu, why'd you leave me here? You know I hate the fucking dark."

The ground chilled a bit more than usual, the only sign that nightfall was upon him. "Bastard. Now it's even more dark. Shitty hell hole, couldn't he at least given me a piece of grass to lay on, seriously! Of course not, I'm a fucking Akatsuki lackey, I don't get that shit. My own comrades won't even dig me the hell out of here. Stupid Tobi. Stupid Kakuzu." A slight pause. "Damn it, I'm starting to miss that stitched asshole. Fucking penny pinching, larcenous, thread spinning flesh spider freak."

Hours passed by and he could hear deer above him, prancing about like usual, eating the grass all around the site. Useless creatures. "Damn fucking animals eating all around my body, better not eat any of my parts, seriously. Stupid Akatsuki. I fucking hate all of them. Can't even invade Konoha and dig up my fucking body. Jashin dammit." He looked up to where he thought the sky was. "Come on, Jashin-sama, don't you think it's time you fucking saved me? Haven't I sacrificed enough heathens?" Silence. "Oh come on, at least save Hazumo and Otsune! Let someone around here get a little sunshine!"

Another long, tense silence passed by. "Dammit, I miss them."


A/N: Just a little internalization. Or something, heh.