He's really scared. He can't remember when he's felt fear like this before. It grips him around his chest and if he had a heartbeat it would be erratic.
She kept up her part of the deal. She let him put that ring on her finger and she said I do. There was a moment's hesitation before she said those words, and he thought that she may make a run for it. But she didn't. She looked into his eyes and her face glowed red and she almost whispered:
"I do Edward, for all eternity."
Now they are husband and wife and he's lying on their marriage bed, in his boxers, waiting for her to finish whatever it is she's doing in the bathroom.
He can smell her through the closed door. The shower was turned off exactly 15 minutes and 36 seconds ago and she's still in there. He's changed the music on the sound system five times. He's been out the window for a run to try and calm himself. There is nothing more he can do. He drank the blood to two mountain lions that morning, just to be sure and even though he is not hungry at all, the scent of her coming through that door still threatens to take him over.
He can't wait another minute. The suspense, the waiting is making him even more nervous, more scared. He moves to the door quickly, even for him, and knocks as softly as he can.
"Bella? Are you ok?"
He hears a slight intake of breath and he pushes the door open. She's sitting on the side of the bath clutching onto it so hard that her fingers are white, but not as white as her face.
"Bella..." he lets out with a sigh. He kneels down in front of her and takes her cold hands in his. And not for the first time does he feel jealousy for Jacob Black who has the ability to warm her. If it were his hands she would be warm. All he can give her is a cold death.
"Bella, we don't have to do this. Oh baby you look so pale. You're freezing."
He picks her up in his strong arms and takes her to the bed. She curls into him. He covers them with the soft down comforter.
"Edward, I am..."
"Shhhh...I know, I know..."
She can't look him in the eye and realisation dawns, she's scared, terrified. It is her first time just like it is his. And she has the added pressure of knowing that if he makes one wrong move, she'll be dead.
He moves his fingers up and down her spine and he can feel her starting to relax. Her body is warming up and her hands which clung onto him earlier slowly start to move. The warmth her fingers leave as they trace his back do things to him that he never imagined possible.
He lifts her chin with his finger and their eyes meet.
"My Bella. You are my life, my wife, my everything. We will take it slowly, when you are ready."
He lets his lips touch her skin and he feels her heartbeat. He is going to miss that, the beat of her heart, the warmth of her skin. His lips run across her eyes, her cheeks, he places a light kiss on the side of her mouth. Her breath hitches. His hands trail his lips and he can feel her shiver underneath his touch. She's wearing a blue laced camisole with the same colour panties. It's so very Bella he thinks. The boyishness of what she wears makes her even more sexy, if that is even possible.
He can feel her fear disappear in the way she moves against him. He feels his need surge, the animal raising its head. He holds his breath and tries to control it. He forces it into submission with a control that he's only discovered he had during the past year, but still not totally trusts.
Her warm hands are pulling him ever closer and he moves his hands to the hem of her cami and gently pulls it over her head, revealing her perfectly formed breasts. He tests them in his hands and her nipples harden at his cold touch. She sucks in air and he hears another moan.
She moans his name, no she begs it and he feels the power surging through him. He knows that he can do with her what he wishes. She no longer has a will of her own. With this knowledge he feels a tenderness overwhelming him. A tenderness that is so powerful, the animal inside him whimpers at the strength of it.
He suddenly knows that there is nothing that he won't do for this girl-woman in his arms, this beautiful, perfect being. He will never hurt her, he will protect her, he will be hers for all eternity if she wants him.
His lips find hers gently and he hisses at the heat of hers. Her response is so far from gentle it is almost aggressive. She pushes herself into him, her mouth opens and it is her tongue that demands entry. He willingly succumbs. Her fingers are in his hair clutching on his scalp, pulling him closer still.
Suddenly her hands are on his chest and she pushes him away and it feels as if she's stabbed him there. He moves and the pain is almost physical, but then his body tingles when he sees why she made that move. She pulls down her panties with an impatient and surprisingly smooth move. Her hands grab his boxers and swiftly remove them too. He's overwhelmed by her, her gracefulness. His usually clumsy Bella is totally in control of her movements.
She pushes him backwards and straddles him. The sureness in her voice shocks him. She sounds so, well grown-up:
"Edward, stop treating me like I'm something that can break. Just," she licks her lips, takes a breath,
"just take me already."
Her lips come crashing down on his and as the words sink in he turns her over with such speed that when she opens her eyes and looks up at him he could see a flicker of confusion and maybe a little fear. Then with a sly smile her fingers encircle his cock and the warmth of her hand almost make him come right there.
"Bella, no, please," He can hardly believe that he's begging. He's begging her. How did this happen?
She raises her eyebrows with a little smirk and he almost looses all control. He pushes into her as gently as he can, but he knows he was still too quick. She can't hide her sharp intake of breath and the pain in her eyes.
He moves to pull out of her, her pain is too much to see, but she holds him close and shakes her head. She mouths the word stay and he does.
Slowly he moves inside her getting her used to him. After awhile she begins to respond and he feels her move underneath him. Their eyes meet and he stares into her, she lets him see her soul. He can see the desire and the need in her eyes. Her head falls back, exposing her neck as she comes and he lets his control slip just a little as he falls over the edge with her.
He knows then that he will keep his part of the deal. He will make her a vampire if only for purely selfish reasons. He wants to be able to let go and loose himself totally in her like she has just done with him. And that is something he won't, can't allow himself to do, not until she's changed, until her body is strong enough to take it.