Story of My Life

Okay. Just randomly picked Hatsuharu's teacher's name. Anyway, italicized words are thoughts and Haru's poem thing.


" Sohma Hatsuharu ! Please come up to the front of the class and tell us what you wrote for your autobiography ! " Mr. Suzumi barked out.

A boy of fifteen with white and black hair nodded. " Yes, Suzumi-sama. "

Hatsuharu walked up to the front of the class and looked around. Writing essays were hard for him, especially when he turned into Black Haru, and with Momiji poking him with a pencil until three in the morning and all, his aggravated state had gotten the best of him.

So now he had spent all his time yelling at his cousin, and now Hatsuharu was in a predicament where he hadn't written anything down on the piece of notebook - paper that he had with him all day.

" Hatsuharu ? We're waiting. "

" Oh. Right. "

I'd like to throw Suzumi-sama into the river.

Hatsuharu gave a malevolent grin, and nobody knew this was Black Haru.

" Okay, ladies and gents. Here's my story. "


Story of my life

Started with a pipe.
Dad went berserk,
And Mom hurt me with a knife.

Turned into a cow.

Hiro ate my sow.

Got the chicken pox

Shoved Yuki in with Clorox.

Hair is white and black

Ate cornbread for a snack.
Ripped my backpack.

Kicked Kyo in the nutsack.

Momiji is my friend

Threw him 'gainst the bed.
Or so it is said ,
Sometimes I want him dead.

I ate a bean burrito,
Farted in front of Akito,
Blamed it all on Hiro,
'Cause he's a ZERO !

Kisa's such a bitch,
She's such a f--king snitch,
Ayame's a perv,

Shoved him in the dirt.

Shigure does the books,
Gives me pervy looks.

Ha'ri makes me cook,
Told him he's a crook.

Ritsu's so gay,
I WILL MAKE HIM PAY !

He shoved me into Mike Tyson.
(I was hospitalized for days.)

As for me, I'm okay,
I've been to San Francisco Bay,
Pushed Hiro off the bridge,
(I think I'm in deep doo - doo.)

Story of my life,
Started with a pipe.
Got really high,

Hurt Hiro with a pie.


" So...what did everyone think ? " Hatsuharu asked.

Mr. Suzumi shook his head. " You definitely need a tutor. That was the most horrible thing I've ever heard. And what's this line about turning into a cow ? "

Hatsuharu sweatdropped, turning back into normal. " Oh, that was just a metaphor. "

Ouch. Didn't mean to say that.

" Oh, well. At least you tried, so I'll give you a D. "

" Yes ! That's the best grade I've ever received in my life ! "

" Right...I still need your copy of your essay. "

" ...DAMN IT ! "

End