A/N: I just wanted to put the two pov's together cuz i was kinda lazy to do two chapters. lol the more the merrier for you i ges. hope you enjoy and understand...spelling maybe a problem cuz i wrote this 4 in the morning :)
disclaimer: ya i dont own twilight...rawr...but i do own...uh ... the air around bella so ha... ya ya i nko i belong in there with bella to.
I woke from my sleep to the white walls that surrounded me. They seemed to mock me, though I have no idea why. It was as if something was missing almost like an inside joke, and every day I felt like deep down I knew the reason.
I had no idea how long I have been considered "special" but I do know how long I have been in recovery. I have been in this hospital about 6 months and I've been told I'm getting better each day. It does feel like I'm getting better but what from?
The doctors say I suffer from memory lost. They told me that I went to go live with my dad in a little town called Forks. I went to school and made friends. I remember nothing of this. I don't even remember leaving Pheonix. They say I am repressing my memories. They try to get me to tell them what happened while I was at Forks but I am just as clueless as them.
I heard my door open as one of the nurses walked in.
"Good morning Bella, how are you feeling today?"
"I'm feeling alright Jude. How are your kids?"
"Oh they're just fine. Jimmy lost his first tooth last night and I suspect he got money from the toothfairy this morning," she winked at me and set a tray of food and pills on my bed.
Once she left I finished the food and drank my pills. I got out of my bed and walked around my enclosing. I had a bed in the farthest corner of the room. The bed had white sheets and a hard lumpy pillow. Thats all I had in my room. They didn't allow anything else for fear that we would somehow hurt ourselfs. I did how ever have many drawings. I kept them hidden under my bed because I feared what I drew. Wierd don't you think. Wouldn't I draw something I liked? A flower? Maybe even a strawberry. I went over and took out my stetch pad and pencil and sat down,on the floor, in a corner. I flipped through the pages to see the drawings that didn't make sense to me.
There were people. People I never remember seeing. I couldn't see their face or any other detail. They were complete shadows. Were they the reason that I was in this place? I flipped to the page where I had an unfinished drawing. I didn't yet know what I was drawing. I never did. I juat start to draw, and to my suprise a picture comes out at the end. I graved my pencil, closed my eyes, and started to draw. I fell into this deep pit of blackness. I always lost myself when I drew. What felt like a few minutes later I heard a knock at my door
I opened my eyes to see a house. Did I used to live here? It look like a mansion so I thought not. It was surrounded by tree's and look roman. I put the picture away and went to sit on the bed. The door opened and in came one of the people who worked at the hospital. I had never seen him before so he must have been new. He checked his clipboard before speaking.
"Isabella Swan, you are supposed to be going to the game room this afternoon and in the evening you have your weekly appiontment with the councelor. You understand?"
I sighed. Just because I was in this hell hole didn't mean I was stupid. When I didn't reply he gave me a pitiful look and held the door open for me to follow him. I kept my eyes off the other doors as we walked through the hall. I noticed he did the same.
"You must be new here. What's you name?"
He sighed, realising that I was trying to make small talk. "Crash," he said.
I laughed. That was a good name to have here. I looked at him more closely and noticed that he had a few holes on his face that I assumed were peircings. I started to laugh even harder. Crash started to give me a funny look.
"How many piercing did you have to take off to come to work today?"
He turned a bright pink. I thought I hard him mumble, "about 17." We had now reached the hall that had the entrance to the "game room" but first we had to go past the secerity. They had bars at the entrance of the hall that you could only pass if the secerity let you. I held out my arms so they could pat me down. I had been there for quite some time so they new me.
"Hey Bella, how are you doing this fine morning?"
"Wouldn't really call it fine Travis seeing as I can't smell the air but its just the same so I guess I'm doing okay."
He gave me a sympathetic look before saying," I saw Charlie this morning."
"Really what's he doing over here?"
"Uh, can't really say, didn't ask him but he did say to tell you hi." He opened the bared door for me and Crash to walk through.
"Everyone seems to know you around here," he said.
"Ya well what can I say."
We were now at the door to the "game room."
"Okay so I'll come and pick you up later to escort you to your appiontment."
"Sure," I said as I walked through the door.
The "game room" was a circle-ish room with a couple shelves here and there filled with one or two games. There was a couch in the other side of the room with a bared window above it. In the center were a few tables with gameboards on them. I saw Violet sitting alone playing checkers so I went over and sat opposite of her.
Violet always had this far away look to her. She had her average hair in a mess and she always had the same robe on. When I sat down she looked up quickly to let me know that she aknoledged me.
"Hey Vi, what you up to?"
"Oh nothing Bella. Not much to do in this hell hole."
Thats what everyone called the "game room." I looked around to see who was in the hell hole and saw a few people I was friendly with. I looked over to a seat in corner, (however corner-ish a circle can be) and saw someone I have never seen before. I was about to ask Violet who she was when she spoke.
"She's new, just transfered in this morning along with the new doctor." Violet always seem to know what people were about to say.
"Ya theres a new doctor. Everyones talking about him. Apperanlty he's so good looking he's a god, but you know how excited they get when there's a new toy."
"I guess they got a whole ship load this morning huh?"
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"Well I had a new escort to."
"Ya I guess there was."
I started to think about Crash and what he probably thought of this place. It started to get later in the day and we just sat there waiting for our escorts to take us away from this hell hole. Suddenly something struct me.
"What's the new doctors name?" I asked Violet.
"Um, I think it was something like Dr. Cullen."
"Oh." The name made no sense to me so I decided not to dwell on it. For what seemed like days finally our escorts were here. I walked over to the door with Violet then we went our seperate ways, she back to her room and me to my appiontment.
"So," I said to Crash,"Am I going to have to see Dr. Cullen?"
He looked sideways at me. "How do you know about Dr. Cullen?"
I laughed, he was so new at this. I decided not to answer but to ask him again. "So am I?"
"Yes," he said.
We passed a couple more secerity checks and finally we were in front of his office. Crash knocked on the door and from inside we heard a voice that said we could come in.
"Okay," Crash said to me before opening the door," I'll pick you up when your appiontment is done and take you back to your ce- I mean room." He looked down guiltly. I just laughed.
"Its ok everyone calls this place hell anyways. You just have to loosen up and run with everyone." I smiled at him and before I turned to open the door I swear I saw a hint of a smile as well.
Then I opened the door to meet my new doctor.
It was my first day at my new job and I felt anxious from all the emotions. I had just gotten back from my hour brake, which I went home to finish the fight I had with Emmett the day before. Man, wrestling with that guy could last a lifetime. Now I was fixing files and paperwork while waiting for my next appiontment. I saw the clock and knew my appiontment was due in the next three minutes so I graved the paperwork and scanned her file. She was catatonic and suddenly she awoke six months ago with no clue of what happened. I read some of the other doctor notes and I now sort of had an idea of what her problem was. I was about to close the file when I saw the name at the top of the papers. I gasped.
Was it possible? Could there be two Isabella Swans? How could she be here? What would happen if she saw me? Should I leave? Questions like these went through my head over and over. Was it even the Isabella Swan I was thinking about? I started to pace around the room until I heard footsteps coming toward my office. I sat down so quickly that I almost broke my chair. I was trying to calm myself when I heard a knock at my door. I said to come in and heard voices but I didnt concentrate on what they were saying. Could it be her? The one that had changed all our lives? The door opened and her sent hit me. It hit me like a ton of bricks.
It was her. It was the one and only Bella Swan. Should I tell Edward? That thought shook me to my core. Edward. How would Edward react? She walked in and I saw her for the first time in about three years. Had it already been that long? The last time I saw her I tried to bite her. I shuddered. What would happen if she remembered. She walked in and closed the door behind her. She looked about the same though there was something diffrent about her. She still had her hair tied back and her height was pretty much the same though she looked a little skinner and paler if that was possible. It was the glow that was diffrent. She always had this glow to her that shined so bright when I saw her. Now that glow was gone. She sat on the couch that faced my desk and looked me right in the eyes. I flinched back. Her eyes scared me yet reminded me of something. They had a far away look and felt like a hole you could get sucked into. I recomposed myself and put on a smile. She smiled back but it didnt reach her eyes.
"Hello Isabella I'm Dr. Jasper Cullen."
"Bella," she corrected me.
Apperantly my name didnt trigger anything. She didnt show no emotion that showed that she remembered. Actually all I felt from her was calmness.
"So it says here that you havent remembered anything for the past six months. What exactly dont you rememeber?"
"Well they say that I moved away from Pheonix but I dont even remember packing to leave."
So she doesnt remember anything about us or Forks. Should I be interfering? What if I triggered her memory?
"So you draw?" I asked as I saw the black smudges on her palms.
"Oh yes they let me keep a sketch pad in my room. They think it will help me trigger something that will let me remember."
"What type of things do you draw?"
"I dont know exactly. It just kind of comes out of me. They are mostly shadows."
"They," I asked hoping she didnt mean what I thought she meant.
"Well I sometimes draw people but they come out as shadows. Shadows I dont think I have ever seen before."
So she drew pictures of us. She knows who we are and what happened but its all in the back of her mind. Shes repressing all the memories of us. Or does she just really dont remember?
"What else do you draw?"
"Um...I drew a house this morning. I dont think I have ever lived there because it looks really big and expensive."
"What more can you tell me about this house?"
"Well its surrounded by a forest and is three stories high. Um... I dont really know what else because it doesnt have much detail."
She also drew the house we havent lived in for three years. The house we had in Forks and had to move out of to protect her.
"So what else do you know about these pictures?"
She didnt answer but just had this far away look as if she was somewhere else. Her eyes started to glaze over and I knew that if I put a peice of paper and pencil in her hand she would draw what she saw. I graved the stuff quickly and went over to her with them. Right when she had the pencil in her hand she started to draw. She drew for about twenty minutes more when I started to worry. I was sitting in my chair behind my desk, not wanting to see her picture until she was done, when she came back. She looked down at her picture and then up at me. She started to feel embarassed because of her sudden black out so I sent a wave of calmness over to her, though I was anxious to see what she drew. After a few moment of silence I couldnt wait any longer.
"So...may I see what your drawing?"
She looked down the paper then back at me again.
"Uh, its nothing."
I stood up and went infront of her.
"May I?" I asked and she held out the paper. It was what I feared, another memory from when she knew us.
"Its just my old dance studio. I went there when I was little."
I took it over to my desk for further studing. It was excatly as I remember...well without all the blood and broken glass. I sat there for a moment in shock when I remembered that Bella was still there. I looked up to meet her eyes. They still kind of scared me and reminded me of something. Then I remembered where. They reminded me of Edwards eyes. Even though they didnt have the same color they had the same far away, black hole look.
"Would you mind if you brought your sketch book to your next appiontment?"
"Well they are a little personel but if it migh help-"
The ringing of my cell phone interrupted her. "Escuse me a moment." I said and turned my back to her. I checked the caller ID and saw that it was Alice. Of course she would know about Bella now that she is somehow in our future but what to her so long to call?
"Hey, whats going on I just saw Bella and she was in the hospital with you. She looked like she passed out on your couch, but I had to wait a while to call. What happened? What did you do to her? Why is she there? Did she say anything about us?" She said these questions so fast I bearely caught them, so much for the vampire senses. I could almost even feel her excitement all the way over here.
"Its okay honey, calm down everything is fine. I'll talk to you when I get home."
She caught my drift,"Oh she's there isn't she. Is she okay? Oh what will we tell Edward? Does she remember us?"
"Everything is okay. I'll see you at home okay."
"Jasper Hale if you don't get your butt here as fast as you can then I will personaly kick it."
"Yes yes I love you, bye." I chuckled to myself while I close the phone and turned back to Bella. How so much aggresion can come from something so small I had no idea.
"Family emergancy," I said answering Bella's questioning look and emotion. Before I could discuss things further there was a knock at the door telling me that Bella's escort was here.
"So can I go?" she asked.
"Yes of course, but dont forget that the next time you come to bring you sketch book."
"Ya sure," she mumbled as she walked out the door.
I spun in my chair thinking about what just happened and what I would walk into when I got home.
A/N: lol hope u liked it...i bet u thought it was going to be carlisle huh. lol tell me wat u thought of it by reviews...hehehehe reviews make me happy which makes me review faster which makes you red more.:)