Reflections

Reflections

I was one of the minds freed. It was the middle of those six months before the actual war. My brother did not want to go. My mother didn't think she could cope. I was closest to both of them. My neighbor Anne was already dead. I'm not sure how I feel. I miss my brother and my mother. I wished they would have come. My dad and I never really got along. Is he really my father? I was grown, not born.

I suppose it doesn't matter. I'm awake and alive now, experiencing things for real. I want to fight. I want to join a ship. I want payback for what was done to me. There's a slow, cold anger inside that makes me want revenge. I have nothing now, I can't believe how I was used; that my purpose was to serve machines. In The Matrix, it was the other way around. Some days I want to go back because it's the comfortable thing, the easy thing. But I'd never go back, knowing what I'd be serving. I won't witness the genocide of my own species, but then is it genocide or simply erradication? I don't know. I never paid much attention in class.

It was difficult being bald at first. In the Matrix, I knew of cancer. Caner patients often lost their hair due to treatment. I suppose this is how they must feel. It is coming in, dark brown, with auburn highlights, curly. I don't have to wear my kerchief so much anymore, for shame of not having hair on my head. Shame. So simple. Everyone goes through the 'bald' phase, like newborns, there is a lot to learn. I asked the council if I could go on a ship, I volunteered. All the ships were full.

Zion is an amazing place. The spirit of everyone here is hopeful. We'll beat the machines. It's a mantra that everyone keeps saying. I say it to myself. I pray Neo and the Nebuchadnezzar are successful, that they complete their mission. I'd love to see the real sun, not the one provided in the Matrix. It must really look like that, machines are exact.

The clothes we wear are torn, most have a hole or two somewhere. I'm learning to knit new sweaters though. Those on board the ships will need them to help survive the mission. The mission. It's special, we WILL be saved. There is so much to experience.

There aren't any animals of any kind out here. The underground is warm and humid. Inside the shelters it's cold, sometimes freezing. I wander, not choosing a direction, making it random. Nothing was random in the Matrix. I fell in love with Neo the minute I met him. He was my savior, my hero. He has already met his 'one'. In the Matrix, all the relationships I tried never went anywhere.

The Matrix didn't care how I looked. All it needed me for was my body heat. I'm hopeful I'll meet someone who feels like I do about machines and about the mission. I want humanity to succeed. I want to have a son, I want to see him grow. Perhaps I'll name him after one of the fallen. Come back soon, Neo. Good luck!