There's something horribly wrong with my brain. Because at 3 A.M this actually makes sense. D':
WARNINGS: Major fluff, Mild cursing, unexplained circumstances, DeixSaso shounen-ai (A.K.A Male only relationship), Extremely obvious lime (no lemons here), and… cross dressing.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto. Naruto respectfully belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. KAI THX.
When Sasori no Akasuna awoke one warm summer morning, it was not as normal as he would've liked to think. Oh no, for today, Sasori had turned into a human boy.
The proof of it?
Puppets don't sleep now do they?
The small puppeteer groaned as he opened one silver colored eye. The bright sunlight filling the room burned his delicate eye and he shut it immediately. Wait a second-
His eye hurt…?
Sasori wiggled a little and gasped as he realized he could actually feel the cotton texture of the blanket around him. The former puppet shoved the covers off of him and winced as the warmth of the blanket left him.
No, no, no. This was all a bad dream. It had to be. Sasori shivered and then let out a small noise of frustration as he realized that puppets did not shiver. This was no dream, and Sasori was very disappointed at this fact.
"Deidara!!" Sasori cried, hoping the blonde would come to his rescue. Sasori's couldn't help it when his mood brightened as the door opened and a familiar face peeked into the puppet master's room.
"Awake Danna, hm?" Deidara asked cautiously. Sasori nodded, allowing the red strands of fluffy hair to bounce happily. "Please tell me you know what's wrong." Sasori whimpered out. Deidara opened his mouth to speak, but instead let out a sigh.
"Danna, I really don't know, hm… Yesterday you fell asleep on the bed and then I realized you weren't a puppet…"
Sasori's face fell, his head thinking quickly. Perhaps the puppet jutsu was reversed, or maybe Pein would know how to-
Sasori's thoughts stopped, now remembering that Pein was nowhere in the hideout now. Him and Konan were both at a mission and so were Hidan and Kakuzu. The only ones left were Zetsu and the happy-go-lucky, orange masked air head.
"Just great." Sasori cried with pure sarcasm. Deidara flinched at the red head's disappointed pout. The last thing he needed was to have himself like Sasori any more than he did.
And Deidara did care for the puppeteer much more than he'd like to admit.
"Look Danna I'm sure we can work this out, hm. How about you stay here and I'll make you some breakfast, hm..."
Sasori was about to protest when a weird feeling made him pause. The red head couldn't believe it. He was actually hungry. Shock made him forget about his protest and he shook his head at Deidara feebly.
"I'll do it Deidara. I'm sorry for calling you..."
Deidara was taken aback by the shorter boy's apology. Although deep down he knew Sasori was in no shape to be doing anything. But against his will, Deidara just nodded and left the room leaving Sasori alone to his thoughts.
After getting over the initial shock of being a real boy the redhead's first priority was to make lunch. It was already Eleven A.M and the puppeteer knew it was easy to make instant ramen. If Deidara could do it, so could he… right?
It was fairly easy, putting aside the heavy pot of water and the bubbling water the cooking created. By the end of making lunch, Sasori had earned himself an audience. Deidara was watching Sasori over the counter, eyes scanning him over like a hawk. "Are you sure you don't want help?" Deidara asked nonchalantly as Sasori poured the hot ramen into the small blue bowl.
Sasori nodded, placing the pot onto the stove again, even though it was turned off. "Do you want some ramen Deidara-san?" Sasori asked, making the blonde forget about his thoughts. "Sure Danna, hm." Deidara said, as Sasori poured the rest of the ramen into a red bowl. The red head placed both bowls onto a tray, and realized he'd have to be careful if he was going to carry the tray and the cups of juice with both hands.
And so, the red head, balancing the tray on a slender arm and a cup of juice in his hand, tripped on his way out of the kitchen.
Sasori yelped helplessly, crashing into the floor along with the plates he was carrying. Deidara watched the scene before him, too dazed to move. It was priceless. Sasori was not only clumsy, but helpless as well.
The Yaoi Gods were in favor of a certain blonde haired pyromaniac.
Sasori groaned lightly, sitting up and wincing as he surveyed the mess he just made.
"I-I'm sorry Deidara-san…" Sasori managed out weakly, reaching for the pieces of the ramen bowl. Deidara smiled gently at the red head, and offered the smaller boy a hand. "I'll pick it up, hm." The blonde said warmly as anxiety was evident in the red head's eyes. "Are you… sure?" Sasori asked as Deidara helped him up. The blonde nodded and led the crimson haired puppeteer to a seat. "Stay right there, okay?" Deidara called as he fetched Sasori new clothes. The red head was currently wet with ramen and Deidara couldn't leave his partner dirty, now could he?
When the blue eyed teen returned, Sasori was cutely twirling a strand of hair between his fingers. "Sasori-no-Danna, hm!" Deidara called. Sasori looked up at the blonde, his grey eyes wide with interest. "Put this on, and I'll clean this up. When you come back, I promise to help you this time." Deidara explained as he placed a shirt and pants into the red head's hands and walked him to the bathroom.
Deidara shut the door to the bathroom before Sasori had a chance to finish his sentence. The blonde smirked, and returned to the living room to clean the mess quickly. When the blue eyed bomber had already cleaned up the last ramen noodle, a small whimper was heard. Deidara looked up from his cleaning to see Sasori poking his head out of the hallway. "What's wrong Sasori, hm?" Deidara questioned. "I'm sorry Deidara. I should've helped you…" Sasori said, his voice cracking a little.
The blonde shook his head gently and motioned Sasori to him. He'd have to be careful not to let anything get Sasori over emotional.
"Look, I'll let you help me make another meal. You tripped by accident Sasori-kun. It wasn't your fault."
The red head followed Deidara into the wide kitchen shyly. Deep down, the puppet master was cursing himself for being so carless. Since when did the famous Akasuna No Sasori trip?! And more importantly, how the hell did he become so flustered around the blonde brat?
Sasori shook his thoughts away, determined to look better by helping Deidara with lunch. "Fill the pot with water again, hm." Deidara instructed, giving his partner a large silver pot. Sasori took it carefully and wondered over to the sink. Once the pot was filled, Sasori was careful to keep it from falling.
Deidara, in the meantime, was reaching for the packs of chicken flavored ramen. He opened them carefully, fishing out the small packet of flavored powder while he dumped the rest of the contents into the pot Sasori was holding.
"Can I put it on the stove?" Sasori asked, obviously straining to hold up the heavy pot. Deidara nodded his head, watching the red head lift the pot onto the black stove. The puppeteer's snow white hands gripped the handles of the pot tightly. The red head let out a soft sigh as the pot hit the stove, and turned to look at the blonde.
"So you didn't trip this time, hm." Deidara said as he turned on the stove carefully. Sasori looked away, a small blush creeping onto his cheeks. The blonde couldn't help but smile at Sasori's flustered state. The red head obviously had no control over his emotions, and being a puppet half of his life probably didn't help.
"Hey I know, hm! While we wait for the ramen, let's bake a cake Sasori-kun."
The red head looked at Deidara curiously before furrowing his brows slightly. "But I don't know how to make one." He protested, but Deidara was already getting out the milk and eggs from the refrigerator along with some flour. "I'll teach you. It's easy, hm." Deidara responded as he opened a cabinet and took out a blue colored bowl. Sasori pouted a little, but went to work with helping the blonde. Honestly, Sasori owed Deidara a lot. No other Akatsuki member would help Sasori the way Deidara did.
"Okay, hm. First, we have to crack open the eggs."
Upon Deidara's instructions, Sasori reached for an egg and gently tapped it against the side of the kitchen countertop. Not a single crack was made and Sasori tried again. Still, there was no opening made. "Don't do it so soft, hm. Here, let me help you." Deidara said, setting the bowl down and gently interlacing his fingers with the red head's.
Sasori hid the fierce blush upon his cheeks as Deidara guided his hands over the edge of the bowl. The blonde helped Sasori crack three eggs open before the red head just gave up and decided opening the sack of flour would be easier.
"Be careful with it, hm." Deidara said as he watched the shorter boy make a small opening to the top of the flour bag with a pair of sharp scissors. The paper bag was ripped open and Sasori peaked inside to see a mound of pure white flour. "How much do we need?" Sasori asked, looking up into the taller teen's sky blue eyes.
"Not much. Just don't breathe it in, you'll snee-"
But before Deidara could warn the red head it was too late. Sasori had already taken a deep intake of air before he let out a loud "Achoo!"
Deidara closed his eyes as flour fell onto the floor and invaded the air around the two Akatsuki partners. When Deidara had warily cracked an eye open, Sasori was sitting on the floor. On one hand, the empty paper bag hung uselessly, and another paper white hand was covering the boy's nose from the troublesome powder.
"You okay, hmm?" Deidara asked, letting a small smile grace his features. Sasori nodded, not taking his hand away from his nose. The blonde was about to say something else, when a small sneeze escaped him. Sasori tried to hide the wide grin that came after the sneeze, but it was too damn funny. Deidara's usual yellow hair was splotched with powder, not to mention his face.
"You're not allowed to hold anything now, hm." Deidara said as he sat next to Sasori. "It's not my fault. You wanted to make the cake." The ex-Suna nin replied. What interrupted the moment was an ominous bubbling sound coming from the stove. "Shit!" Deidara cried as he jumped for the off button on the stove-top. The bubbling kept on, until it slowly dissipated into silence.
"You suck at cooking Deidara." Sasori called from the floor. Deidara shook his head, exasperated with the current situation.
"I'm not the one with powder all over me, now am I, hm?"
"But you are the one who's going to have to clean this up brat."
"Oh no you don't-"
As Sasori tried to stand, Deidara grabbed one of the red head's legs and dragged him back down to the floor. "Let me go!" Sasori cried as he kicked at Deidara's hand angrily.
"Make me, hmm."
Sasori looked back to see a smirk plastered onto the blonde's face. Oh, so this was a game now, was it? Sasori narrowed his eyes at the blonde and suddenly pounced onto the taller boy hard. Deidara felt all his breath leave his body as Sasori allowed Deidara's back to collide with the kitchen wall. "Damn you're strong." Deidara whispered as he coughed, still surprised with the red head's action. "Kami, I was going to let you go, hm. You didn't have to tackle me. Now get off Danna." Sasori shook his head, fully content in sitting on the blonde's lap and made no move as he watched Deidara curiously. He batted his long dark lashes and looked at the scene around the two.
"So are we still going to make a cake?"
Deidara groaned, wondering why and how did he have to get stuck with such an undeniably cute partner.
When both had eaten, (and cleaned the mess) the partners split up into their respective rooms to take a shower. Deidara couldn't allow his usually neat hair to stay ruined, and so he was the first to exit the shower and get dressed. "I wonder if Sasori will stay like this forever, hm." Deidara wondered as he opened his closet to decide what to wear.
And there it was.
In the depth of the blonde's closet was a school girl uniform. Not exactly the manliest thing to own, but the blonde had a good reason for it. Hidan, being the most rambunctious and cockiest new Akatsuki member, challenged Deidara to a competition. If the blonde could stop ending his sentences with "Hm" and if Hidan would give up his religious "duties" for a day, then the winner would get a week off from missions, including his partner. The loser, however, would have to wear a very revealing school girl uniform for a week.
In the end, Deidara received the sweet taste of victory and Hidan had to start his uniform wearing the following week from now. Deidara still had the uniform stored safely in his closet in case Hidan had the bright idea to ruin it. Now, the blonde took it out, getting a better look at it. It would be perfect for a certain ruby haired, cherub-like puppeteer…
Deidara suddenly shook his head. It was crazy. Sasori wouldn't be so easy to get into a school girl uniform. Although the thought of it was surprisingly cute. Deidara took the uniform from the hanger and held it up again. Seconds ticked by, and finally the blonde's cross dressing fantasies took over and he quietly made his way to Sasori's room. And honestly, who could blame him? "Sasori-No-Danna…" Deidara called sweetly, knocking on the room to the red head's door.
When the blonde heard no answer, he opened the large door and peeked inside the red head's room. Deidara gasped as his fell upon the sleeping figure of Sasori. The puppet master was wearing his usual Akatsuki attire and his small form seemed to be swallowed up by the black cloak. His head was perfectly snuggled up against a pillow and his body was curled up in a light blue blanket.
Deidara watched Sasori's stomach rise and fall slowly. The blonde could only imagine what sweet dreams the red head was having. Nonetheless, Deidara quietly tip toed over to his sleeping partner, hoping that by the end of the day, he wouldn't become part of Sasori's puppet collection…
Pallid colored eyelids opened, revealing gray eyes still half closed with sleepiness. Sasori rubbed his eyes timidly hoping Deidara wouldn't mind the small nap he had taken. It's not like they had a mission anyway…
Sasori removed the blanket from his body and crawled off the bed tiredly. For the time being, the red head guessed he'd have to get used to being a real boy. As Sasori made his out of the room, he caught his reflection in the mirror and widened his eyes. The red head wasn't sure whether to be shocked or angry.
But he had a feeling he knew who the culprit was.
The blonde winced at the angry tone to his partner's voice. Sasori was now human, but he still had that same commanding aura about him. The blonde walked over to Sasori's room and found the puppet master standing in the doorway fuming. Deidara blushed at the scene before him.
One word came into his head at that moment: Bishie"What's wrong Sasori, hm?" Deidara asked innocently. The red head narrowed his eyes at Deidara and pointed at his girly attire. "You did this, you little pervert!" Deidara denied the accusation. "You have no proof, hm." He said confidently. Sasori on the other hand was dead set on getting back Deidara to confess. "Deidara, you bastard!" Sasori cried angrily, although it sounded more like a whine. Deidara rolled his eyes stepping closer to Sasori until their faces were inches apart. "So what if I did dress you up in a school girl uniform, Danna." The suffix sounded more like a mock than a respective title.
The red head bristled, however his eyes told a different story. The blonde could see curiosity in those silver colored eyes and he smiled at that. "I am human, but I still have my puppets." Sasori said with a smug expression plastered onto his beautiful face. Deidara leaned in, to whisper something into Sasori's ear. The red head stopped, suddenly listening to Deidara carefully.
"You know you like it Sasori-kun, hmmm. And most of all, you like me." Sasori opened his mouth to say something, but stopped at those words, shivering pleasurably as Deidara's hot breath tickled his ear. Deidara smiled at his work, gently leaning back to face Sasori. The puppeteer had a light pink blush to his cheeks and held a cute, dazed expression. "Want to try making a cake again?" Deidara whispered seductively, tapping Sasori's nose as the puppeteer blinked his eyes at the action.
Sasori looked up at Deidara, knowing full well he lost control over the situation a long time ago. He didn't mind that now. In the back of Sasori's head, he knew Deidara liked him back. More than anything, it was safe to say the blonde did care for the puppeteer. "I don't want to make a cake brat. I want to try something different." Sasori whispered back, challenging the blonde. Deidara smiled leaning his lips closer and closer to Sasori's. The shorter teen smirked. "So I'm uke now?"
Deidara roughly kissed the shorter boy, gently pinning the puppet master onto his bed. The bomber broke the kiss, smiling lovingly as he gazed at the boy underneath him. Deidara sent a small kiss to his partner's soft lips. "You taste sweet, hm." Deidara remarked, earning a smirk from Sasori.
"But spending time with you, brat, is so much sweeter..."
(Oh you know what they're up to.) It made sense in my head!! D: If you hit that "Go" button, or even get to this point, thank you very much for reading. Know that I appreciate it greatly. : )
So readers, tell me what was your favorite part of this story. L and I agree this sentence was our favorite: "The Yaoi Gods were in favor of a certain blonde haired pyromaniac."
What more nonsense will my brain spew out?? The world may never know…