A/N: No, it's not Supernatural. Yes, I know I've got Supernatural stuff I need to work on. I'm working on it. This thing just kind of squished out of my brain sideways and then commenced bashing me over the head until I wrote it down. Will probably be the only fic I ever write for Dr. Horrible. Also, I'm playing fast and loose with Dr. Horrible canon. Which... uh. Yeah. Boggles all hell out of me too.
Warnings: Spoilers for all 3 parts of Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog. I can't put in a link, but Google it. Do not read this if you have not seen all of the parts. Trust me. Huuuuge spoilers.
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon is the evil overlord on this 'verse.
Everything I Ever Wanted
Dr. Horrible Blog Entry:
The evil league approved my application. Killing a "hero's girlfriend" is pretty huge, even if she...
If the death ray hadn't malfunctioned-
If I'd shot that moron when I had the chance instead of hesitating and grandstanding and, and monologging like I was some new punk kid who never read the Handbook-
If I hadn't adapted the stun ray to be lethal in the first place, none of this would have happened, and she-
I had the freeze ray. I stopped time. I just stopped the wrong part. She's gone. She's gone, and everyone thinks I killed her and I can't-
"She's dead, man," Moist said, watching his friend pace. "You can't bring back the dead."
"Why not? Why can't I? I've got-" Billy waved his arms at the lab equipment. "-science stuff! I'm a genius! She is the only thing, the only person who ever mattered to me, Moist!"
"Ouch," Moist said quietly as Billy raged on, unhearing.
"What good is any of this if it can't bring her back?"
Moist shrugged, shoulders leaving a damp patch as they slid up the wall. "I hate to say it, you know I do, but causing her death is what got you into the-"
"Don't." Billy turned, hand clenched around the neck of a one liter Erlenmeyer flask, some green chemical concoction he couldn't be bothered to remember the name of swirling in the bottom. "Don't ever say that, Moist."
"I'm sorry, man, but it's true. The Evil League of Evil accepted you because you killed Penny."
"Don't say that!" Billy was across the room and had his hands wrapped around Moist's throat, flask shattering on the floor, green contents steaming through the linoleum. "I didn't kill her!
Moist continued, unbothered by the chokehold since Billy's grip failed to find purchase on his friend's slippery neck. "They're going to be saying it at the Evil League, in the papers, on the news... No matter what you feel, Billy, you've got to be the one who killed her, or the Evil League-"
"What? They'll reject my application because I didn't kill her?" Billy gave up the grip he'd known was useless anyway and stalked away from Moist. "They'll make me go out and kill someone else? I don't care. The Evil League can go to hell."
Moist looked sorrowfully at his friend's back.
"They'll kill you, man."
Billy placed his hands against the edge of the lab bench. "Let them."
Moist tipped his head to the side and frowned. "I mean really kill you. You know no one gets that far in the Evil League of Evil application process and fails without being killed. There's too much of a chance failures will go good in retaliation."
"I know. I don't care."
"You don't care about being dead? Really dead? 'Hoof-prints in your head' dead?"
"Goodbye, Moist," Billy breathed, not turning around.
Moist peeled himself off the wall and walked out the door, looking back only as the door was closing. Billy stayed standing at the lab bench until the sun went down and the only light in the room was from myriad pieces of equipment.
In the dark room, speaking to the racks of test tubes, he repeated, "Let them."
Dr Horrible curled up in his giant armchair, still in his trademark lab coat, flipping through news reports of how heinous and awful a villain he was for killing Penny.
He felt like it. Heinous and awful. One mistake after another, it had all lead to this. Infamy, public hatred, people cursing his name, membership in the Evil League of Evil, and the chance to really make his mark on the world. Everything he wanted. Only it wasn't.
Penny was dead. He didn't care anymore.
If only he'd timed the charge on the freeze ray's capacitor. He glared across the lab at the freeze ray on the floor where he'd dropped it, next to his goggles. Maybe it was broken now. Good. He wanted to smash it to pieces. Something that stopped time shouldn't have a time limit. That was stupid design and it had got Penny killed, and there was no way to get her back...
He blinked. Straightened up in his chair and stared at the freeze ray.
And then he started to smile.
"Hel- whoops!" clatter "Hang on, dropped the phone, just a sec... Heeello!"
"Oh thank god. You're still alive! Are you hiding out somewhere? No. Wait. Don't tell me. They can't torture it out of me if I don't know. Not that that'll stop them from torturing me but-"
"The Evil League of Evil membership acceptance meet-and-greet is tonight. Are you coming?"
"Wh- what? I thought you weren't going to-"
"I can bring one henchperson, Moist. Are you coming or should I find a stray dog I can make super-intelligent later?"
"No, fine, okay, of course I'm coming! But-"
"You know they're going to stand you up in front of the entire league and go on about how you, uh, murdered Penny?"
"And you're okay with that now?"
"I can find that stray dog in two seconds if this is bothering you, Moist."
"I said I'm coming, okay? I just wanted to, y'know, make sure you weren't gonna melt down about Penny onstage, 'coz if you lose it in front of the league, I'm gonna get splattered too, and not just by your brains."
"I'm not going to melt down about anything. I- It's fine. I murdered her. The Evil League will have no reason to doubt me. I can't have it any other way."
"Good. Good to hear. I think."
"It starts at nine. They'll pick you up at eight-thirty. Try to look like a competent henchman."
"Okay... You know, uh, I kind of worry about this sudden change of-"
Dr. Horrible Blog Entry - Private Lock
I've got it! I've got the answer! I can do it! I don't know why I didn't see it before! It's so simple, that must be why I missed it!
I can bring Penny back!
I've got the freeze ray, see, and it works, it works great, it stops time. That's all I need! I can take that, develop it and find a way to make it reverse time! That's everything I need!
I can- I can go back, get Penny out of the room, or go back and tell myself to take that shot before the freeze ray quit, or go tell myself not to even try making that death ray and just- I don't know, something! I'll figure out the details when I've invented it.
And, and! I can invent it now. I'm in the Evil League of Evil! I don't have to steal Wonderflonium by the dinky little suitcase, I'll have access to the Evil labs and financing! I can get Wonderflonium by the tanker-load with a snap of my fingers! I've got henchmen now! Well, not yet, so far it's just Moist, but if I work my way up, I'll get more access, better subordinates, more resources... I can make it work!
... The only downside is until then, I'll have to be the one who murdered 'Captain Hammer's girlfriend'. I have to be the one who killed Penny. I can't let anyone know my plan to bring her back, not even Moist. It'd invalidate my membership and I can't get killed now. I can't lose this chance. I have to live so I can bring her back.
I'll save you, Penny, I swear. I'll bring you back. I don't care what it takes. It's only a matter of time.
Ha ha. Time. That's a good one.
Oh, I'm private-locking this so nobody can get at it, especially Captain Dick. He took her from me once, he won't do that again. Not ever.
Penny was right. Everything happens. And this? Is going to happen.
Dr. Horrible out.