You people have no faith in me... Ha ha ha

Disclaimer: This is the secret ending. You can't access this page until you've beaten the game with 100 percent completion and press up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, enter.

And I don't own any of the South Park characters.


Secret Ending

Kyle watched the scene in front of him with misty eyes. He couldn't believe it. But there it was. He saw the barren wasteland. He heard the roar of wrecking balls. He felt the rumble of the bulldozers as he splayed his hands on the dusty ground. Withdrawing into himself, Kyle went into a fetal position, glancing over the tops of his knees at the ungodly sight before him.

This was it.

The end of South Park.

It had been seven years since Stan left. Kyle kept trudging through life, like a ghost with hardly any purpose. He went to South Park's community college, since his family had become too poor to send him some place real. The real estate crash was to blame for that. In fact, the real estate crash was to blame for the destruction of South Park as well.

The wind angrily kicked up debris, causing Kyle's eyes to sting and burn. But he didn't need the help of the summery gusts; the poor youth was on the verge of tears anyway. Everything had just… fallen apart.

"Wow," gasped a voice behind Kyle. "So it is true after all. I go away for a few years and look what happens." Kyle stayed as still as a statue as he listened to the soft footsteps approaching. With a grunt, the person lowered themselves to the ground and joined in sitting with Kyle.

Neither of them spoke. Kyle didn't even look in the man's general direction. After an awkward silence, the red head finally gathered the courage to speak. "Is it you?" he whispered, his voice losing all the strength it had left.

"I couldn't be anyone else," the stranger replied, matter-of-factly. "I came as soon as I heard the news."

"Oh, Stan," Kyle sobbed, reaching over to his former friend and embracing him with a firm hug. "I missed you so much." They stayed in that position for what seemed like lifetimes.

"On the plane here I… I finally read the letter you sent me," Stan explained, swallowing hard. "I never read it before because I was just… just too afraid… too afraid of what it might say." Stan rubbed Kyle's shoulder lovingly. "Imagine my heart ache when I finally opened it…."

All Kyle could muster was a half hearted nod.

"What happened to the others?" Stan asked, resting his chin on top of Kyle's tousled hair, breathing in his scent. He blinked away the tears and rubbed his face into the red head's curly locks. He couldn't believe how much he missed them. How much he missed everything about Kyle. "Kenny?"

"He's a porn star now," Kyle informed, a genuine laugh escaping from his lips, breaking through the tears if but for a moment. "What else? He's always been a pervert. He's been in a lot of erotic films. He left about four years ago. He's famous now. Apparently in all his films, he keeps his hood up, so people keep coming to see more, in case he shows his face."

Stan laughed heartily and Kyle continued. "He says that it's great since he can go out in public with his hood down, and doesn't get any of the lime light."

"That sounds just like him," Stan chuckled, bringing Kyle in closer to him. "And Eric?"

"Law school," Kyle said, bluntly. "I've heard that he's the best student that college has ever gotten. He's been gone for at least five years now."

"And I've been gone seven years," Stan mumbled, feeling tears burning behind his eyes.

"You know," Kyle gasped through his sobs. "I never realized how empty my life was this entire time… until I heard your voice again. We may not have known it back then but… you Stan… you were our link. The only thing keeping us together. When you left we all discovered that… without you, we had nothing in common. And we just went out separate ways."

"My god, Kyle. I've left you all alone." Stan broke out into gasps and began to weep, laying his head down into Kyle's shocks of red hair, staining them with his hot tears. "You've been all alone for so long and it's all my fault. I thought that by leaving, maybe we would learn to be stronger. But all it did was tear us down even harder." There was a chaotic crash in the distance as one of South Park's houses tumbled to the ground into a ramshackle pile of wood and dust.

Kyle joined in his sobs and nestled deeper into Stan's chest. "No, this is my fault. I should have been stronger. I should have told you sooner. This… this hurt… none of this would have happened if it wasn't for me!"

Together the wept. They cried for their sins and their misgivings. They sobbed for the love they had for each other which never bloomed until now. They gasped for the loss of their home town and for the wasted years of their lives. It all just seemed so… hopeless.

"Dude, Stan! Why are you crying?" called a voice. Stan and Kyle perked up their ears and looked at each other, but it wasn't either of them.

"Yeah, you fucking Jew," came another shout. "What, are you a fag now too?"

"Shut your fucking mouth, fat ass!" Kyle shrieked, standing up with a jolt and racing toward Kenny and Eric. Kyle rammed right into Cartman and wrapped his arms around him, giving him a huge hug.

"Um," Cartman started, obviously caught off guard. "Okay now. That's enough y-you Jew. Get off a me!" Kyle didn't let go, only hugged him tighter, laying his tear stained face into his long lost friend's shirt. "Okay, now I'm starting to get pissed off, you guys!" Cartman may have been complaining, but the crimson blush in his cheeks betrayed his words.

"You two didn't change at all, you know?" Kenny sighed, shaking his head dramatically. "You both still can't forgive yourselves. You're so focused on the past that you forget to turn around and see what you've got right in front of you.

"You're a fucking porn star now?" Stan mused to Kenny, apparently deaf to his words of wisdom. The blonde merely smiled a bemused grin in return.

"Fucking is the operative word there." The friends looked over each other again. Finally, Kenny spoke up again. "The four of us have been gone for a really long time. I guess we all have a lot of catching up to do."

"Yeah," Stan agreed. He reached down and took Kyle's hand into his own, squeezing it tightly as if to say 'I'll never let you go ever again.' "But you know? I think we'll get through it somehow…."

"After all," Kyle added, looking up with his emerald green eyes; the brightest they had been in seven years. "I've finally found my light. My everything."

The four friends turned around and walked into the dazzling sunset with only the busy sounds of construction behind them.

The End