It started with the notion that they'd make a cake for Peter's birthday. Lucy thought they should help Mum, who had to work so many hours at the Red Cross. Susan was out on a date so that left just Edmund and Lucy to do the whole thing. Edmund came in from his rugby practice and found Lucy frowning at the cake recipe. She was wearing a yellow dress with little blue flowers, a hand me down from Susan. He couldn't remember the name of that type of pattern, something with an L. He'd always thought she was prettier than Susan, she wasn't so high maintenance and anyway, you could have a spot of fun with Lucy. She liked jokes and sports and wasn't afraid to get her dress dirty. She was freckle faced, merry and attainable, if he hadn't been her brother he would very much have liked to go out with her. Sometimes…he couldn't stop himself from thinking of her That Way in spite of being her brother.
"We'll have to cut these measurements in half," Edmund said. "And make a really small cake. Doing a birthday party for Peter will not make Mum forget that we used up all the rations."
"You be in charge of the measurements then," said Lucy. "You're so good at being particular." She took out the mixing bowls, measuring cups, spoons,eggs, sugar and flour.
"I think that was a compliment," Edmund said cautiously. "You can preheat the oven." He carefully measured out the flour and baking powder while Lucy greased a cake pan. She hummed a song off key while handing him the eggs and sugar. It was catchy and he found himself humming along.
"Don't sit under the apple tree, with anyone else but me, anyone else but me…" Edmund spun her around the kitchen, they forgot about the cake but a second of forgetting was all it took. The mixing bowl started to tip, and they both grabbed for it, causing the entire batter to land on both of them.
"Darnit!" Lucy cried.
"Fuck!" said Edmund.
"You have sugar all over your face,"Lucy giggled. And well, they were both covered in sugar, flour and egg. Lucy had flour on the end of her nose and Edmund instinctively bent his head to kiss it. They both froze. Such a gesture would have been cute when they were younger but now it made them hot and flushed. Edmund realized his hand was on her hip and her breasts were pushed against his chest. She was soft, and sweet smelling, like lemons, and warm. She had never been…cold…until now he'd thought that was the one thing that kept him safe from wanting her. This was where she screamed and pushed him away, right?
"I…" Lucy said. "Oh, Edmund." Edmund looked away, ashamed as he felt himself getting hard against her leg. "Don't be embarrassed. And don't say you're not either."
"But you can't want this too."
"How do you know?" Lucy said, she was breathing hard and gave him a rough kiss as if to prove it. Edmund grabbed her around the waist and pulled her closer.
"Don't say that if you don't mean it," he said gruffly.
"I never say things I don't mean," Lucy said. "I'm not stupid or blind, you know. I'm not a baby."
"I know you're not, Lu. But this is so wrong." It was wrong for normal people, but they weren't normal, Lucy got him in ways no one else did and he wondered if he'd ever be with someone else in this world who didn't think he was completely insane.
"Asl-Je- He wouldn't like it," Lucy admitted in a shaky voice. "But maybe He'd understand." They fell into a bout of frantic kissing, grinding hips, bumping teeth and noses as he pressed her up against the counter.
"Say yes or no," Edmund breathed, yes, would mean relief, release, but no would mean they could both run away now and pretend it never happened. What possible right did he even have to want this from her? She was so pure and he would never be free of the taint of his sins.
Pushing his hands away, Lucy stammered "Yes, but I don't want to get pregnant. And-and Susan said it hurts."
"It's alright, I know a different way, "Edmund assured her as he sank onto his knees. He slid her knickers down and off and moved her legs slightly apart. As he lowered his face between her thighs he murmured "It's better. Well, not for me, for you."
"Oh, oh-okay," Lucy said. Edmund had once gotten into a discussion with Peter about oral sex. Peter maintained that it was not something a real man did for women, that it was 'like sucking cock or something'. Edmund had admitted he liked sucking cock too and Peter hadn't spoken to him for a week. On the surface people always thought Peter was more of a gentleman, but Peter's ex girlfriends were fond of whispering that he was "good, but not exactly creative". It was satisfying to be better at some things than his golden older brother, even if he wasn't proud of where he'd learned these things.
She was warm, and soft and wet already when he brushed his face against her slit. She trembled a bit.
"Oh my gosh!" Lucy said as Edmund flicked his tongue gently. He got down to business, exploring her with his tongue, teasing and coaxing. Lucy's fingers tangled in his hair, she tugged and Edmund couldn't prevent a whimper from escaping. She couldn't have done it on purpose but it made him harder just the same. He made the same noise again when she practically yanked on his hair, maybe she was doing it on purpose after all. She didn't have to have experience with mixing pleasure and pain to figure out that he liked what she was doing. She yanked on his hair again and he felt tears stinging behind his eyes. This, too, was familiar. Lucy let out a cry of shock and pleasure, he hoped maybe even ecstasy, you couldn't fake what was happening down there and a moment later his face was wet with her juices. Lucy was gasping as he pulled away. Edmund wondered if he ought to wipe his mouth on something-not on her dress- he decided on the sleeve of his own shirt before Lucy cried "I want to kiss you!" Edmund raised himself up and obliged, her legs were rubbery and she clung to him as they kissed roughly as she shoved her hand in his trousers and brought him off with inexperienced fingers. Edmund stood panting with his arms around her while they tried to recover, and thought that he'd never seen a girl just go for it like that. Lucy was wiping his face with a kitchen towel.
"I can do it," Edmund snapped. It was an effort not to knock the towel from her hand. "Sorry. Uh-you don't have to do that." Lucy smiled tiredly at him.
"But I wanted to."
Edmund carried her into the bathroom and sat her on the edge of the tub while he turned on the shower. When he moved to help her unbutton her dress she pulled away and they both felt suddenly embarrassed. Lucy clutched at the front of her dress, her cheeks pink.
"I'm gonna clean the kitchen," Edmund mumbled hurriedly and fled. He was almost finished with that task when Peter got home. Peter paused, bewildered, at the sight of his younger brother wielding a broom and dustpan.
"What are you doing, Ed?"
"What does it look like I'm doing?" Edmund sneered, aware of how flushed his face was becoming.
"Cleaning. But you never do that."
"I do so!" Edmund protested. "I clean all the time! You're the one who never-"
"Alright!" Peter said with an exasperated roll of his eyes. "You win, Ed. You clean all the time. Whatever."