A/N: A battle of Haiku and wit between Maes and Roy. Forgive me if there are any mistakes, this is a bit old. Feel free to imagine that this battle of Haiku never ended and the boys were always throughing poetic bits of paper at eachother. Nya.

Not every day,
Do you get such a letter,
In snazzy haiku!-Maes

Did that have a point?
Do you need more work to do?
If you do, do mine.-Roy

My heart is wounded!
Why do you say such mean things?
Has our friendship died?-Maes

You're a drama queen,
Those 'tear' blotches were too much,
Stop writing haiku.-Roy

Hell hath no fury,
Like a Liuetenant Colonel,
Scorned by a Colonel!-Maes

You are a loser,
A second rate, no good jerk,
Give me back my GLOVES!-Roy

Your heart is turmoil,
Your perfect life is shattered,
Now you know despair.-Maes

This is under-hand,
I demand my gloves return,
As Colonel Mustang.-Roy

You forget one thing,
My superior, you know,
Isn't you, Colonel.-Maes

Ha! Taste your own pill,
You conniving glove stealer!
How will you live now?-Roy

Foul scourge of the earth,
You have proved your heart is black,
Give her back right now.-Maes

Hah! Bring me my gloves,
And Elicia can go,
Till then she is mine-Roy

Understand, dear sir,
You have kidnapped a naive child,
Please treat her kindly.-Maes

Do you think me crude?
Your daughter is in good hands.
Now, bring back my gloves.-Roy

Ah, well, no problem,
Just give me some more time please,
I will return them.-Maes

You have lost my gloves!
I can see it in your words!
I ought to lose Eli--Roy

Leiutenant Colonel,
Please disregard those last words,
Your daughter is fine.-Riza

Colonel Mustang, sir,
We are both resonable,
Can't we compromise?-Maes

No glove, no daughter,
I stand firm in my resolve,
Find my gloves, Maes Hughes.-Roy

You are a cruel man,
Your black heart is desolate,
Your name brings terror.-Maes

Yes, yes, I know that,
My patience is running out,
Your flattery fails.-Roy

By noon time today,
Your vile demands will be met,
On the parade ground.-Maes

Your senses are back,
This is very good to know,
I will come promptly.-Roy

You fell for my trap,
Short sighted Colonel Mustang,
Vengence will be mine!-Maes

You absolute fool!
You started this childish fight!
Vengence will be mine!-Roy

Roy, isn't it cool?
I am writing this haiku,
With my nimble lips!-Maes

The nurse will ask this:
'Oh my, how did that paper,
Get up your nose sir?'-Roy

You sir are jealous,
I will not rise to the bait,
Of the disgraced man-Maes

Folly has two names,
Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes,
And Colonel Mustang.-Riza