So sorry this took so long! This is probably the worse year I've ever had school wise, and I've had no time to do barely anything. Well, here's my first story. Didn't mean to make it this long, but I just had such a big idea for it, and I tend to make my stories long, even when I don't mean to…habit I gotta break, I guess. Well, hopefully my attempt at comedy doesn't completely fall flat, also hope the few parts where I tried to make it touching aren't too corny, and I hope you like it, 1-up salesman!

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or Back to the Future. Heck, I don't even own half the jokes (My lil' brother helped me with this)

Prompt: What if Ven battled Roxas in a battle for exsistence?

Prompter: 1-up salesman

Genre: Comedy

Main Characters: I would say Roxas, Ven, and Axel

Pairing: None!

Warnings: Axel has a bit of a foul mouth (but only a bit), a joke about AIDS (that's my brother's fault, I swear he's been watching too much family guy), character bashing, yaoi bashing, some OOC (mostly from Vexen, I think), probably a bit crackish, and yada, yada, yada…tried to make it all in good fun, though!

Ven versus Roxas

It was just another normal day for Roxas at The World that Never Was. It was raining cats and dogs, the heartless were running wild in the streets, and our favorite nobody had just got back from another mission where his each and every move could've meant the difference between life and death. Yep, just another ordinary day…well, okay, it wasn't really ordinary, but for Roxas, it was just as dull as it got. But little did our hero-slash-villain know, today was going to be anything but ordinary.

It all started when Roxas made his way into Axel's room. Axel was there, as usual, but there was a little surprise there our keyblader didn't expect.

"WOAH!" Roxas exclaimed, wide-eyed.

"I know right!" Axel replied, enthusiastically.

"How big is it?!"

"120 inches. Want to touch it?"

"Yeah!"

Roxas reached forward and tentatively stroked the side of the 120 inch plasma tv screen. "It's amazing, Axel! I can't believe you got it!"

"I know, isn't it great?" Axel agreed, the biggest smile on his face while forcing the tv into a death-grip hug (even though it didn't receive the worst from that hug; the pyro could only wrap his arms around a corner.) "I can barely believe I got it, either!"

Then, a realization hit Roxas, who began to eye the fire wielder suspiciously.

"Axel," Roxas asked suspiciously, "How exactly did you get the tv?"

Axel looked up, still hugging the tv, an innocent look played on his face. "Aw, Roxas, you wouldn't think I would jack a big-screen plasma tv like this, would ya?"

"Yes," Roxas replied bluntly.

"Well, you're wrong," Axel retorted, defiantly, "believe it or not, I got this with my own hard earned money. I did odd jobs around Twilight Town for over a year, and I finally had enough to buy my own dream tv!"

"Oh, you mean the hard owned money that you robbed," Roxas joked, but was met by a death stare from the fiery pyro.

"Oh, uh," Roxas stuttered, "I'm sorry, Axel, I didn't realize-"

"Well, now you do," Axel replied, now laying his head next to the tv and stroking it as if it was his favorite pet, "I mean, honestly, Roxas! Me stealing a 120 inch tv? It's way too big to steal! Now a 50 inch, that's doable." He winked and grinned, still trying to crush the over-sized tv with his bear hug.

"Of course." Roxas chuckled, rolling his eyes. He should've known Axel wasn't really hurt. The guy was as crooked as they came, and the pyro knew it. "Well, what are you waiting for, then! Let's set up the video games!"

"Okay, okay! Calm down, will ya?" Axel urged, ripping himself away from the tv for a few moments. He left the room, heading for the closet in his bedroom where he kept all his video games.

Roxas stood there, whistling a tune while waiting for him to come back.

"In youuuuu and I there's a ne-ew le-aaaa-aaaaa-aaaand. Angels in flight, wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I, my sanctuary, my sanctuary, yeah-" CRASH!

Roxas brought his arms up, protecting himself from the force of the unknown crash, abruptly stopping his solo. When he looked back up, he saw the tv in the same position it was before-only, now, it looked like it had tried to survive a holocaust, and failed.

"Wh-what happened?!!" Roxas yelled, confused and horrified. Confused, because he didn't have any clue what was going on, and horrified, because he didn't know what his fate would be when Axel saw his beloved new plasma tv blown to smithereens. Hopefully it wouldn't include being burned at the stake.

Just then, Roxas saw a blonde, spiky head poke out from the wreckage.

"Woah!" Roxas exclaimed, wondering if his eyes were deceiving him, "Axel's gonna flip when he finds out a chocobo crashed his tv!" Then he paused, pursing his lips and bringing his hand up to his chin in a thoughtful matter, "On second thought, this could definitely be enough to take me off the hook…"

"Hey, I resent that!" yelled the chocobo. The creature brought his head fully out of the wreckage, revealing a human face. A human face that looked exactly like Roxas's.

Roxas gawked. The face gawked back.

Moments of silence followed, as both stared in astonished silence. Then, "Hey, Rox, I can't find one of my games! Do you know where…,"Axel trailed off, flabbergasted by the site when he strolled in. His mouth hung low, gaping as he witnessed the murder site of his precious plasma tv.

"Wh…wh…wh…whaa?" the pyro gaped, barely able to form coherent words. Then, his face turned a bright red as he screamed, "ROXAS!!!"

"Huh?" The real Roxas said, right behind Axel.

"Roxas, what the hell's wrong with you?!!! I work my fingers to the bone, trying to get this friggin' tv…" Axel shouted, his attention fully focused on the fake Roxas.

"Ax…," Roxas started.

"Shut up, Roxas!" the fuming pyro exclaimed before turning his attention back to the Roxas imposter, "Roxas, do you know how much crap I had to do to get the munny for this TV?!!! I had to fight trash, for crying out loud! Breaking up garbage, isn't that the career I always wanted growing up?!!," he added sarcastically, green eyes burning with rage. "And even when I tried to burn it, they wouldn't let me because apparently it's 'illegal'..."

"Axel…" Roxas tried again.

"Friggin' shut up, Roxas! And, the posters! Holy crap, for an hour straight I tried to finish it! I rather have died!"

"Axel, that's not…"

"What, Roxas?!!! Can't you see I'm trying to teach Roxas the value of a…" Axel stopped, realizing the repetition in his sentence. He looked from the real Roxas to the fake Roxas, then back to the real Roxas, then back to the fake Roxas again, then one last glance a the real Roxas for good measure, before finally, it all clicked. "You…you're not Roxas?" Axel asked, barely a whisper.

"Um…no…," the imposter said, barely able to raise his voice over a murmer himself, "I'm Ven."

Again, silence.

"So…why did you decide to barge in and break my TV, Ven?" Axel finally asked, still a little shocked, "I mean, if that really is your real name?" he added, with a suspicious look.

"Um, Ok, first of all, Ven is my real name," Poser Roxas, or should we say Ven, said, very matter-of-factly, "And second of all, I didn't mean to break your tv."

"It's true, Axel," Roxas piped up, standing up for his look-a-like, "He fell out of a hole in the sky and landed on your tv!"

"Uh-huh. Okaaay," Axel drawled, obviously not taking the youngest Organization member seriously, "Say, Roxas, what about you lay off the Hi-potions. I think Xigbar might be spiking your itemsagain."

"No, he's right," Ven corrected, "I probably would've said it better myself, but that's basically the general idea of what happened…"

Roxas eyebrows furrowed, already not liking his look-a-like. What did he mean by better?

"Reeeally?" Axel said, eyebrows arched in the classic 'The Rock" style. "Then, pray tell, how exactly did you end up flying out of a hole in the sky and landing in my 120 inch Plasma TV?"

"Well…it all started when me, Terra, and Aqua went to a world called 'Earth'," Ven started.

"Earth?" Axel asked, testing the foreign word on his tongue.

"Terra and Aqua?" Roxas also asked, "Who're they?"

"Terra and Aqua are keybearers, like me. We're all Master Xehanort's apprentices." Ven answered.

"Master Xehanort?" Roxas questioned, sure he heard this name before.

"Yeah, it's supposed to be a great honor to be one of Master Xehanort's apprentices," Ven added, a little too smug, Roxas thought. Why would he care about apprentices and some guy with a name he probably couldn't even pronounce correctly. Why did he even have to question the name before? "Terra and Aqua have been apprentices a lot longer than I have, but Aqua says I'm catching up quickly! She says one day I might even give Terra a run for his money!" Ven added enthusiastically.

Well, whoopee-do for you, Roxas thought, sarcastically.

"Well, whoopee-do for you!" Axel added, mimicking the younger one's thoughts, "What about you get to the point of the story!"

"Well, I was getting to it!" Ven argued, "As I was saying, we went to a world called 'Earth'. Earth looks kind of like a wide junkyard desert," he added, spreading his arms out wide to prove his point. "It's a dead world, nobody in it but trash. We only went there 'cause the heartless were invading that place like crazy, and Terra didn't want them to envelope another planet's heart. Anyway, when we finally came there, Aqua said to stay with the group, but I saw this little robot, and I just had to follow it. I mean, I never saw anything like it! It kept saying Wally, though. Over and over and over again. Got really annoying! So, I stopped following him, and…well…" he hesitated.

"Let me guess," Axel said, a sadistic smile creeping up on his lips, "You were lost."

"Uh…yeah," Ven admitted, blushing. "How did you guess?"

"Rox did the same thing the first time we did a real mission together. Told him not to follow that white rabbit…" Axel reminisced, ignoring his partner's irritated expression, "Go on."

"Well, anyway, yeah, I got lost," Ven continued, looking a little more at ease now knowing he wasn't the only one making juvenile mistakes, "I wondered around, 'till I saw this funky looking machine hidden underneath some trash, and, well, my curiosity got the better of me. I fussed around with it, and realized it was a time machine. I pressed some buttons, pulled some levers…I thought it was broken, I didn't see anything wrong with doing that. Well, I must've been wrong, because I saw a bright, flash and next thing I know, I'm crash landing into a plasma TV. Again, I'm really sorry about that."

Axel shook his head, ignoring the apology. "Okay, then, how about you explain why you look like a human replica of this kid right here." He hissed, motioning to Roxas.

"My guess is as best as yours," Ven said.

"You said you were a keybearer," Roxas asked, remembering what Ven mentioned before.

"Yeah, I am," Ven claimed. Roxas couldn't help but think the guy's tone sounded a little haughty.

"That's weird." Axel said.

"Why is that?" Ven asked.

"'Cause Roxas's a keybearer, too," the pyro replied.

Ven looked towards his look-a-like. His blue eyes widened a bit before his lips twitched, trying to suppress a smile.

"You? Really? Are you an apprentice?" Ven asked.

"Uh, not exactly…" Roxas hesitated, not really sure what he meant by 'apprentice'.

"No? You're a master!" Ven replied in a shocked tone.

"Uh, no, not that either…"

"That doesn't make sense!" Ven asked, now trying to restrain his giggles, which he failed at miserably. "What are you, then?"

"I work for the Organization XIII," Roxas retorted, "I'm a nobody!"

"Um…sorry, never heard of it," Ven said, still trying to hide his amusement, "But, don't worry! Just because you belong to an organization no ones ever heard of, doesn't mean you have to call yourself a nobody!"

Roxas face turned bright red from anger, his temper reaching its boiling point. Who did this guy think he is? "NO! I am a NOBODY! You know, no heart, just soul! I do NOT EXIST!"

"Don't freak out," Ven pacified, "Of coarse you exist! I'm sure a lot of people acknowledge you! I'm sure your parents love you!"

"I DON'T HAVE PARENTS!" Roxas yelled, officially losing his sanity. "I was born unnaturally when my somebody struck his chest with a giant key! I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO EXIST!"

"Aw, don't say that," Ven kept on, "Just because your parents killed themselves, doesn't mean you weren't supposed to exist! They made their mistakes, but you had nothing to do with it!"

"AAAAAAARGH!" Roxas screeched, almost tackling the unsuspecting Ven over and sticking his own key into the keybearer's ribcage before Axel grabbed him from behind.

"As much as I would like for you beat the living crap out of this guy, Rox, I can't let you do that!" Axel strained, keeping the livid teen back, "You're too much of a nice kid to make the same kind of mistakes I did when I was your age!"

Roxas finally calmed down, taking deep breathes before his face finally returned to its normal apricot shade. Then he asked, "You killed a guy with a giant key when you were fifteen?"

"Yup, in Reno just to watch him die." Axel answered, with deep regret laced in his voice as he stared off into space as if remembering a terrible accident from long ago. Quite frankly, the whole scene was freaking Ven out.

"Okaay…" Ven interrupted Axel's little stroll down memory lane, "So, do you psychopaths have anyplace where I could stay?"

Axel and Roxas both stared at Ven, before they both yelled in unison, "NO! WE DON'T!"

"You're going back to where you came from!" Axel added, "You little TV-wrecker!"

"How can I? I don't know how to get back," Ven retorted.

"Then, we'll find a way! Any way!" Axel said.

"Maybe we can ask Vexen?" Roxas asked, hopefully.

"Oh no!" Axel disagreed, "The last thing we need is for 'Mr. Mad Scientist' to make a test subject out of our little future freak here! No, it's better that we keep this from the rest of the members."

"Um, I'm actually from the past," Ven piped up, "And I don't think being a test subject sounds like anything I'll be interested in the near future."

"Okay, so we keep him a secret," Roxas agreed.

"Fine, agreed. Our little ancient freak will be kept a secret." Axel settled, sticking his tongue out at Ven when he noticed his grimace. Well, how worse can this possibly get? Roxas asked himself.

Then, in came in Demyx.

"Ah, hell no!" Roxas yelled.

"Hey, guys! Have you seen my Herbal Essences Super Strong Sold Sair G-" Demyx stopped dead in his tracks, staring at, who else, the two blonde freak twins.

"Woah, Roxas, there's two you! I can't wait to tell everybody-oof!"

Just then, Axel pinned him to the wall, chakram to his throat.

"You say one thing about any of this, and I'll rip your throat out and you'll be sipping kool-aid through a straw," the pyro threatened.

"No! Don't! I hate kool-aid!" Demyx strained. He yelped as the sharp edges of the weapon pressed harder against his throat.

"O-Ok! Ok!" Demyx begged, "I-I won't t-tell!"

"Get out of here!" Axel released Demyx, who, as soon as he hit the ground, ran out of the room as if death was chasing him himself.

"Don't you think you were a little too hard on that guy?" Ven asked when the frantic musician was gone.

"Nah, believe me, he's used to it," Axel assured him.

"Are you sure he won't tell anybody our secret?" Roxas asked, a little suspicious of the Nocturne's reliability.

"He won't." Axel said, confidently.

"DEMYX!" the furious pyro yelled, surrounded by curious Organization members. But they weren't asking questions about the livid pyro who was this close to burning a certain water-switching musician alive. Oh, no, they were much more interested in the two completely identical keybladers standing in the middle of the Organization's meeting room. Axel was ready to make sure Demyx never saw the light of day again.

Speaking of the devil.

"H-hey, Ax! Uh, sorry about all this! You know how hard it is for me to keep a secret!" Demyx said, a bit nervously as he placed his hand on Axel's shoulder in a friendly matter.

"Grrrrr…"

"Okay, then, gotta go, see ya!" the musician yelped, quickly making a portal to his chair and raising the height as high as it could possibly go. Axel smiled in satisfaction before turning to the mob of curious nobodies.

The members were surrounded around the pyro's best friend and his new-found enemy, asking a barrage of questions. They asked questions like 'What's your name?', 'You're a keybearer?', 'How did you come here?', and the infamous 'Boxers or briefs?' question, asked by a sadistic Larxene wanting to see an embarrassed Ven squirm. The answer was boxers, for any of you fangirls wondering.

"So, you're a key bearer that came from the past, who just happens to look exactly like our little friend Roxas here," Xigbar reviewed, not forgetting to smirk when he saw Roxas make a face at being called 'little', "I'm not going to lie, that's pretty weird."

"I definitely don't disagree with you on that," Ven assured, "The only real problem, though, is that I don't know how I can go back to my home in the past."

"There has to be a way to mend the problem," Saix said, his voice as cold and unfeeling as usual. "Or perhaps we can just destroy him. The last thing we need is another teenage delinquent in the Organization XIII."

That was met with a 'hmph' from Zexion, who replied, "Not all of the teenagers in this Organization are total delinquents, Saix." He then added, "I, for one, disagree with you wanting to destroy our guest."

Saix looked at Zexion, his unfeeling eyes showing traces of irriation. "Oh, really, Number Six? Then, what do you say we do with him?"

The schemer smirked to his subordinate, saying, "Think about it, Saix. He's a key bearer. He has the same power as Number Thirteen, if not better. Why not keep him? Two keybearers, twice the amount of heartless slayed, twice the amount of hearts we obtain for Kingdom Hearts, the quicker we get to our goal. We can not lose!" The rest of the Organization seem to agree, mumbling things like, 'He's right!' and 'What a marvelous plan!'

"Do I have a say in this?" Ven asked, not especially liking how they talked as if he wasn't even there.

"No." Saix and Zexion answered in unison.

That's when the Organization's one and only pyro decided to interrupt. "Well, I sure have a say in this, and I don't think this kid should join us!"

"Yeah!" Roxas agreed, if not only because of jealousy, "We don't need a new member, anyway!"

"Yeah!" Demyx also agreed, poking his head out from way up high in his chair.

"GRRRRR!" Axel growled in blind rage.

"Squeak!" Demyx promptly went back to hiding in his chair.

"Why not?" Saix asked, not seeing any fault to this plan. The rest of the members whispered amongst themselves, wondering why any member would disagree with such a seamless plan.

"Well, uh…" Axel stuttered, sensing the stares of each and every member resting on him. Even Roxas had a blank stare directed to him, wondering what the pyro could come up with. What coud he come up with? Truth was, he just hated the little TV wrecker's guts, but he obviously couldn't say that.

"Well, uh, the kid's," Axel tried, "well, the kid's probably new to this whole, um, fighting thing. I mean, Roxas has been training since he first got here, and probably can run circles around the kid! Why do we need to waste the time training the new kid?"

"Hey! I'm a really good fi-" Ven tried to say, interrupted by Axel's rough nudge to the groin.

"What do you mean? If anything, the child's probably a better warrior than Number 13," Zexion retorted.

That started an uproar amongst the Organization members, all taking sides and arguing who had the better idea. It was all interrupted, though, when a group of sorcerer nobodies materialized in the middle of the room.

Immediately, everybody summoned their weapons, shocked too find that the lesser nobodies had disobeyed orders by venturing into the meeting room. But, it was too late. Ven had already summoned his weapon, diminishing the large number of mindless beings with astonishing speed and grace. It took him all but five minutes to end the threat.

"Well, that was easy," Ven said, after slicing the last nobody in two, "Hey, why are you guys all looking at me like that?"

Indeed, they all were looking at him in a strange way. In fact, you could say that they were ogling at him. A loud, booming laugh heard from the highest chair interrupted their dazed gazes, though. Everybody looked up to see that it was the Superior who had broken the silence. He was laughing his deep, throaty voice, an all-knowing smirk playing on his lips. It didn't take a genius to realize who had summoned the distractions.

"It appears our new visitor is quite the key bearer," Xemnas finally said, "Maybe even better than the original…"

Roxas immediately 'hmphed' and crossed his arms at this comment. Yeah, right, he thought.

"Actually, considering I'm from the past, technically I'm the origin-oof!" Ven was interrupted, punched in the groin once again, this time by Roxas.

"We keep him," Xemnas commanded. The other members nodded in agreement, not daring to challenge the Superior. Even Roxas and Axel didn't say anything, just stood there with their arms crossed and shooting death stares at their new partner. Once again, they'd succeeded in freaking Ven out.

Just then, the door to the meeting room opened. Fog came flowing out of the door, until they saw a long haired women's shadowy figure step out of the door. It was only when the fog had cleared had the Organization realized it was merely Vexen, dressed in a lab coat and goggles and holding a test tube.

"I've did it!" he exclaimed, "I've created the cure for AIDS!"

"Um, excuse me, Vexen," Axel interrupted with mock politeness, "But, we're kind of into more important things right now. Maybe if you didn't lock yourself into your lab 24/7, you'd have a clue of what's going on…"

The Chilly Academic glared at Axel, but then noticed the twins behind him, one of them glaring at the other as if telling him telepathically that his days were numbered. Vexen jumped.

"Great Scott! Why is there two of them?!!" he exclaimed, only then realizing that he had dropped his precious cure and it had crashed and was now a puddle on the floor. Oh, shoot, he thought.

"I can answer that," Ven piped up, stepping in front of the group of nobodies. "You see, I'm from the past. I got here through some faulty time machine, and crashed into his TV," he said, gesturing to Axel, who simply growled in response. Ven cringed. "Anyway, that's where I met Roxas. We look the same, but apparently, I'm a better fighter, so the Organization XIII is going to keep me." Roxas growled, too, mimicking his older partner.

"Yeah, Vexen, we have two Roxases, now!" the Organization cheered, more or less in unison.

"Um...," Ven said, raising his hand up in a nervous manner, "My name's Ven."

"Oh, yeah, yeah, of coarse," said the Organization again, followed by Xigbar's, "Yeah, yeah, whatever…"

Vexen just stared in disbelief, until finally, coming to his senses, he blurted out, "Nonononononono! You can't keep these two together! Take him back! NOW!"

"Couldn't agree with you more, Vexen!" Axel approved, "…wait a minute…that never happens! Why do you want Whatshisface to go back!"

"Um…my name's-"

"SHUT UP!" screamed both Axel and Roxas, at the end of their rope.

Vexen continued, anxious more than ever, in an alarmingly fast speaking rate. "These two are too much alike to fraternize with each other! Their DNA are more than likely to be almost exactly identical! Their encounter could create a time paradox, the results of which could cause a chain reaction that would unravel the very fabric of the space continuum, and destroy the entire universe!"

Roxas looked wide-eyed, completely shocked. "…I didn't understand anything but that last part, but this is heavy!"

"You're damn right it is…" Axel murmured, a little surprised himself.

"Wait a minute!" Zexion piped up, his little figure having to push his way around the surrounding nobodies, "the subjects have already conversed with each other, Vexen. Doesn't that make your theory incorrect?" he accused, crossing his arms.

"Yes, you would assume so, Number Six," Vexen retorted, a bit irritated, "but, you see, this time paradox can happen at any moment, from right now, to a few minutes from now, to even a year from now."

Now Zexion started gaping, saying, "Woah, this is heavy!"

"Sounds like a stupid excuse to cover a plot hole to me…," Xigbar muttered, barely audible.

"Anyway!" Vexen interrupted, "Are we going to get rid of the kid, or what?"

The rest of the Organization seemed a bit restless. "Which kid do we pick…?" Xaldin asked, saying the one question that was on everybody's mind.

"What do you mean?" Roxas blurted, very out of character for his quiet demeanor, but anger had about devoured his character by this point, "You pick me! I was here first!"

"Now, Roxas, calm down! You can't just blow a tantrum everytime you don't get what you want! You sound like a little kid!" Axel scolded, "Here, watch me!"

The pyro stepped in front of the Organization, taking a deep breath before he yelled, "What the HELL is wrong with you guys! Picking this runt over Roxas? Are you guys sane? I swear, if Rox wasn't here, I'll-" and he proceeded to curse like a taxi driver in rush hour traffic and vow inhumane torture unto his colleagues until Roxas had the decency to clap his hand over the simpleton's foul mouth.

"Yeah, what he said!" Roxas shouted while holding Axel back, still wanting to make it clear that he was on the sane side.

"Well, I think we should keep him!" Larxene piped up with a nasty smile, "This new guy's cute when he squirms!"

"What?!!" Roxas exclaimed, "I'm cuter when I squirm! Pick me, Larxene!" Ven looked very uncomfortable, and, for the umpteenth time, Roxas was freaking him out.

"Well, then, I agree with Larxene," Marluxia said, snaking an arm around Larxene's shoulder, "It's obvious the boy's much more skilled than Number XIII, so why not pick the better warrior."

The Savage Nymph's wicked smirk grew wider before she pinched Roxas's cheek, causing him to wince in pain. "Aw, sorry, kiddo," Larxene cooed, false sympathy heard in her voice, "If you want, you can live outside in the thundering rain! I'm sure we can find an old box somewhere! I'll even come out and feed you some bread crumbs every once in a while, how's that sound?"

"I wouldn't celebrate too quickly, Larxene," Vexen advised, "I, too, believe that we should retain Number XIII as our Keblade Bearer."

Larxene's jaw dropped, not believing anybody would go against her logic. "What?! Why?!"

"As much as I would adore having another specimen to experiment on," Vexen smiled, winking at Ven, who went pale, "I have to admit, I don't like you, and I detest Marluxia even more. Anything you two are cooking up together can not be in the best interest for the Organization. No one should ever be able trust a sadistic grouch and a man with transvestite tendencies."

Larxene pouted, while Marluxia exclaimed, "For the last time, my hair turned pink when I became a nobody! I had no control over this! It's not my fault!"

"Yes, Marluxia, I know. I've heard it many times before," Vexen assured, before crossing his arms and snorting under his breath, "Hmph….pansy."

"Well, then, I must side with Vexen," Zexion said, who stepped to Vexen's side, "He seems to posses the most knowledge on this subject, and his decision is probably what will save us much trouble. Plus, I agree, one should never trust a man prone to pink."

"But-"

"Oh, stop hiding it, Marluxia! You most definitely have transvestite tendencies! You could always die your hair a different color, you know!"

That shut Marluxia up, who just hung his head in defeat.

"Well, I, for one, have to agree with Marluxia," Luxord challenged, "I'll wager any bet that this new Roxas can make an absolute fool out of our Roxas. Plus, even if Marluxia proceeded to die his hair, he would still be in possession of the pink scythe and flower powers, in which you blokes would still call him a cross-dresser, or at least some different form of that word. It is not all Marluxia's fault!"

"Yeah, I gotta take Luxord's side on this one," Xigbar agreed, laid back about the whole situation, as usual, "Either way, Marly would still look like a fruit loop. Let the guy be himself, huh?"

Luxord coughed, giving Xigbar an annoyed look.

"Oh, and, uh, old Roxas sucks, new Roxas rocks!" the Freeshooter exclaimed.

"I agree," Xaldin said, "Despite Xigbar's rather 'rough' way of wording it, the new Roxas does definitely 'rock'."

"No." Lexaeus bellowed. Everybody was caught off guard, the Silent Hero saying the first word he's said in, say, four months. Roxas, especially, was shocked; he never heard Lexaeus say anything since he's been here. He assumed he was a mute.

The Silent Hero continued in his low voice, "I do not agree with your statement at all, Xaldin. You say he 'rocks', but do we even really know anything about him? No, I believe we do not. He could easily be a warrior of the light, come to foil our plans. I believe we should keep Roxas, not only because he's the more trustful of the two, but because it is the morally right thing to do, and we, especially as nobodies, should always do the right thing to show that we can be acceptable in today's society, even if it is only an act."

The whole meeting room was quiet, everybody surprised that Lexaeus muttered more than three words. In fact, Roxas was almost sure he heard crickets in the background. For once, everybody was speechless, while Lexaeus was doing all the talking. The silence was broken, though, when Ven, not really getting why everybody was so quiet, blurted, "Um…sooo…who agrees with the gentle giant?"

"Well, uh," Saix stuttered, still dazed, "Uh…well, I-I do not. Lexaeus, I believe that in our Organization, we should be able to take chances if the opportunity arises, and it has. The new Number Thirteen is a much more competent warrior, and if it means more hearts, we should take that chance." He finished, ending with the confidence that was a lot more like the guy we all knew and lov-…tolerated.

Lexaeus simply nodded, accepting this new insight, but, as usual, not having any comments.

"Well, that settles it!" Larxene exclaimed, a new smirk on her lips. "Six against five! The new Roxas wins!" She already started eying Ven, giving him the evil eye. Ven fainted.

"But, wait!" shouted someone from one of the high chairs. Oh, of coarse, Demyx. They forgot to include Demyx in their vote. Too bad he realized, Axel couldn't help but think.

"G-guys, I think we should keep Roxas!" Demyx proposed, quite nervously.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, Dem- Wait, what?" Axel blurted, realizing what the Nocturne had just said.

"Yeah, we should keep Roxas! Um, I mean, if you guys agree, that is…" Demyx stammered, shaking in fear when he saw all twenty-four eyes now staring directly at him.

"Well, I certainly don't agree!" Larxene sneered in disgust. "How did you come to this conclusion, numb nuts?"

"Well, uh…I really like Roxas…and, well, if I don't pick him, Axel would rip my throat out." He explained, scratching the back of his head. Axel nodded in satisfaction.

Something I said actually got through to the guy, the pyro thought, I swear, with my inspirational motivating skills, I should really think of picking up a job in teaching children some day!

Larxene gave Demyx a glare, making the Nocturne wonder if he made the right decision, or if he was going to get any unwelcomed guests tonight. Good thing he trained himself to sleep with one eye open ever since he got here.

"Fine, well, that makes it six to six," Larxene said, disdainfully, "Now who are we going to pick?"

They they heard a rough cough coming from one of the highest chairs. They all looked up to see the Superior, glowering at them. They had forgotten the only opinion that would really matter!

"Uh," Larxene stammered, nervous for once in her non-existent life, "I-I mean, w-what do you think, Superior?"

The Superior replied with an irritated glare, until finally an eerie smile crept its way on his lips as a thought came to him. "I say we rip Roxas's jugular out and feed it to the dusks."

"Oh no!" Axel shrieked.

"Oh YES!" Larxene squealed with delight, "Can I do it?!"

That was met with Xemnas's booming laugh, until he replied, with his twisted sense of humor, "I am just kidding, I have a much better plan than that in store!"

Axel sighed with relief. "Phew, thank goodness!"

Larxene sighed with defeat. "Aw, man!"

"What is your plan, Superior?" Roxas asked, afraid of what other punishments the

Superior could have stored in that demented mind of pure evil.

The Superior couldn't help but show off his creepy grin again. "My plan is to throw a competition of three rounds. The one who has won the most rounds, rather that be the old Roxas or the new Roxas, gets to reside in the Organization. The one who loses will then face the punishment I mentioned before."

Most of the Organization nodded in approval.

"What are we going to do, exactly?" Roxas asked.

"I'll leave that up to you." He answered in his monotone voice.

Axel smiled his famous devious grin, before saying, "Hm…the first competition…let's see, how about the Blazin' Path of Flamin' FLAMES!!!" On cue, the whole room was swallowed in a fiery inferno. Needless to say, this left everybody feeling quite a bit nervous.

"Um…the Blazin' Path of Flamin' Flames?" Roxas asked, cynically, the only one used to Axel's random outbursts…of flames.

"I don't even know what that is, but it even sounds terrible!" whimpered Demyx, hidden high up in his chair.

"It's a working title," Axel assured, before explaining to the others, "Think about it…only a true warrior could walk The Blazin' Path of Flamin' Flames! Got it memorized?" Then he added as an aside, "Anyway, I know my best friend can definitely walk a little path of fire."

"Um, no, he can't," Roxas mumbled dryly behind Axel.

"Hey, seriously, Axel, can you take the flames away. You're scaring us just an itty bit," Xigbar said, looking a little panicked along with all the other members.

"Oh, alright," Axel sighed, before dispelling his flames.

"Um, okay," Xemnas fidgeted, looking uncharacteristically uneasy from the events that had just occurred, "I've decided to change my mind. Instead of letting all my members have a say, I'll only let Number Three, Two, and myself decide the rounds, in that order."

Immediately, everybody turned their heads toward Number Three, Xaldin. He looked up, and said, "I say we have a good old fashioned race. Speed is always considered an exceptional skill to have when fighting in the Organization. We could even have it outside. Everyone agreed?"

Everybody agreed, much relieved that the whole argument was finally settled. Even then, Axel couldn't help but mumble under his breathe, "I still say 'The Blazin' Path of Flamin' Flames' was a better idea…"

The Organization started heading outside. Well, after they woke up Ven from his little fainting episode earlier, that is. Xigbar told him the news.

"Hey, little dude!" he said, exploding with excitement, "Turns out we're going to hold a competition of three rounds, and whoever wins gets a spot in the Organization. First rounds a race. Pretty awesome, huh, Shorty?!"

"Uh…yeah…'Cause who wouldn't love to join a group that is obviously made up of the morally deprived and mentally insane…" Ven trailed off, still a little woozy from the fall.

"Yeah, I know, right!" Xigbar agreed full-heartedly.

Now, as we learned from the beginning of this story, The World that Never Was was never known for its fun and sunny weather. In fact, it was a full tropical storm out there, thunder and all. But, as we should all know by now, this wouldn't bother our band of misfits one bit. It didn't even register in their minds that this was a negative effect…if anything, it was a positive. They couldn't wait to witness the strenuous torture the two youngest members would go through trying to fight their way through a thunderstorm. Child labor laws never applied to the Organization XIII.

They were all outside, getting ready for the first round, Luxord already taking bets. This was when Axel decided it was time to have a little pep talk with Roxas.

"Hey, Roxas!" Axel greeted, huge grin on his face, "So, what's your little plan for getting past your evil twin over there?"

"Well, uh, I don't know," Roxas admitted, stretching his (small) biceps, "I guess I'm just going to have to try my best. He's probably all talk, anyway…" Roxas trailed off, not sounding too sure.

Axel gave him an 'either-you're-kiddin'-me-or-you're-dead-where-you-stand-look.' Yes, those looks do exist. "Try…your…best?" Axel repeated slowly, testing the words on his lips. Nope, still didn't sound right. "You're about to race for your existence, or non-existence, or whatever the hell we call it-" Roxas gave his own strange look. "You know what I mean! Anyway, you're about to run a life-or-death race here, and all you can say is 'I'll try my best'? What happens if you lose?! 'Oh, I lost! Looks like my jugular's gonna be long gone! Oh, well, I tried my best! At least the dusks will have a good hearty meal tonight!"

"Okay, okay, I get it!" Roxas retorted, "What do you want me to do, then?"

"Cheat." Axel simply replied, sneaky smile broad.

"Cheat…" the little key repeated slowly, now testing this word on his lips. Nope, didn't sound right at all. "I don't know, Axel…"

"Come on, Rox!" Axel persuaded, "Don't you want to be cool? Everyone's doing it!"

Roxas gave another skeptical look. "Axel…you do know I'm not an idiot, right?"

"Um…no?" Axel replied, sounding hopeful.

"Axel, if that's you're idea of trying to get me to cheat, then I don't want to be a part of it."

"Aw, come on, Rox! I got 10,000 munny on this bet! You gotta cheat!" When that was met with a hand gesture that didn't exactly imply friendliness, the pyro decided it was time to change the subject. "Okay, okay, fine, I get it. No cheating for good, little Roxas! I get the picture." Roxas ignored his comment, reaching for his toes. Axel leaned against a light post, sighing with resignation. "So…you nervous?" he brought up casually.

"Um…no," Roxas replied tentatively, not sure where he was getting at.

"Really? Wow...that takes some guts. Even I would be nervous if I were in your shoes right now."

"You? Nervous?" Roxas asked, awed, never recalling a time when Axel was nervous. And, again, his memory never was the most reliable thing.

"Well, yeah!" Axel replied, truly not realizing what effects his words were having on the younger nobody, "I mean, going up against some guy from the past? Man, who knows what skills he has."

"Skills?"

"Yeah, guy probably has some type of ancient magic we don't know anything about! And then there's the humiliation if you lose to him. He'll probably rub it in, too…"

"Humiliation?" Roxas squeaked, pubescent voice cracking.

"Yeah, humiliation! You don't think Xigbar or Larxene will ever let you live it down, do you? And, again, you may not even have to worry about it, with the punishment and all. I mean, I wouldn't know personally, but I don't think getting your jugular ripped out brutally is something you can really survive from…"

"Okay, guys, get ready! Race's gonna start!" Xigbar hollered.

"Oh, it's about time! Come on, Rox, let's get to the starting line!" Axel encouraged, but then he noticed Roxas was trembling like an icy cube heartless. "Hey, Roxas, you alright?"

"P-p-p-p-p-punishment? M-m-my jugular? D-death! L-l-l-l-l-l-l-LARXENE!" Roxas stuttered, screaming in pure terror at that last thought.

Axel sighed, shaking his head and placing a firm hand on his friend's shoulder. "Let me guess. You got nervous." he deadpanned.

Roxas gave him a wide blue stare before replying with a frantic nod.

Axel sighed again. "That's what you get for saying 'I tried my best'."

Axel led Roxas to the starting line, all the while trying to calm him with words of encouragement. It didn't work; the boy was still trembling in his squeaky boots. Xaldin and Xigbar regarded the pair when they walked by, whispering in their own private conversation.

"So, you think the old little dude has a chance against the new little dude?" Xigbar questioned casually.

"I don't know," Xaldin replied, "Either way, it really doesn't matter."

"Oh, really?" the Freeshooter asked, brows raised.

"Really," Xaldin said, a smirk pulling at his lips. "Rather he had the speed to win or not, he's still going to lose."

Xigbar snorted in amusement at the Windlancer's confidence. "Xaldin, what are you going to do?" he asked mischievously.

"Nothing at all, what ever makes you think different?" Xaldin said innocently. Or, at least, as innocently as a nobody could sound (if you don't count Number XIII). "The weather is really terrible today, isn't it? Hope it doesn't interfere with the race," Xaldin continued, seemingly changing the subject.

Xigbar smirked. "Yeah, it is," he agreed.

The two look-a-likes stood at the starting line, which was really just an old piece of rope they found, since they couldn't use chalk because the road was so wet. Roxas stood at the ready, still trembling, and wondering why they were taking too long to start them off already. He regarded his adversary from the corner of his eye, and…was it just him, or was he smirking? He wasn't sure, because once they made eye contact Roxas quickly looked away, but he was pretty kind-of sure the little snob was smirking. O-oh, no, this guy was not going to get away with this! Not for one second!

"ALRIGHT, YA ALL READY?" Xigbar hollered, "ON YOUR MARK!"

Roxas bended down, bending his legs, ready to kick off and show this runt whose boss. Well, okay, maybe they were both the exact size, but the jerk was still going down!

"GET READY!"

His heart beat was beating at an uncontrollable rate by now. He tried to slow his breathing, and think about something else. Let's see, after all this, maybe Axel and me can go get some ice cream, he thought, trying to calm himself, Yeah, that sound nice! Some Sea Salt ice cream, too! Ooh, yeah, I'll love that! I know Axel doesn't really like it. Wonder why he gets it, anyway? Ha, Axel's one weird guy! What was he saying before? Something about…my jugular… Suddenly, his breathing started to race even faster, and he would've thought he was hyperventilating if he had been paying attention. Oh my gosh! My jugular…dusks…death…LARXENE! Holy crap, anything but LARXENE! Oh my-And I'll never see Axel again! And never have sea salt ice cream with him anymore! And…And...No more ice cream! Axel, HELP!!!

"ROXAS!!! GO!!!"

Axel? Roxas looked up, only to see Ven gone and half the Organization yelling and looking at him like he was a mental patient.

"ROXAS!!! GO!!! VEN'S ALREADY AHEAD OF YOU!!!" Axel shouted from the sidelines. He looked like he could burst a lung from his screaming.

Oh! It all makes sense now! Roxas thought. Turns out, our little neophyte must've been so drawn into his own mental freak-out that he barely noticed when Xigbar shot his sniper into the sky signaling the start of the race, making Ven shoot out like a rocket and leaving him in the dust, looking like an idiot. Yeah, it all totally made sense now!

Holy shit!!!

Roxas sprinted from the starting line as fast as he could, already losing all his energy.

Xaldin and Xigbar witnessed the situation with both eyes wide (well, for Xigbar, it was just one eye, but it was pretty wide). They shared a quick glance, before Xaldin mumbled, "Maybe I really don't need to do anything."

The Key of Destiny huffed and puffed, closing the distance between him and Ven. He finally caught up with him, and for the rest of the race, they were neck to neck, neither willing to slow down for a second. Roxas could feel his throat drying up, and there were sharp pains on his sides, but when he looked at his foe and saw his perfect stride and calm breath, he knew he couldn't give up. He had to win, and when he did, he was going to be eating sea salt ice cream with Axel on Twilight Tower. Like it should be.

When they finally almost reached the finish line, the members of the Organization on the sidelines cheering them on, Roxas knew it was time to step it up.

This is it! Start sprinting!

He started quickening his pace, and he inched forward, surpassing his enemy.

That's it! I'm doing it!

He could feel his rib cage pleading in pain for him to slow down, but Roxas ignored it and went even faster. He could almost taste the victory on his lips, and it tasted like Sea-Salt ice cream!

This is it! This is it! He thought, over joyed.

Then, he felt a cold, gust of wind blow against him.

Ah, that feels good! He couldn't help but think as the wind flowed through his sweaty face.

Then the wind flowed even faster.

Okay, this is starting to sting a bit he thought, squinting against the hard force of the wind. The wind didn't let up, and blew with even more force. Roxas could feel himself being forced to slow down.

No!

The wind blew even faster and stronger, and Roxas saw Ven breeze by him, seemingly not affected by the wind at all.

You got to be kidding me! What is he, friggin' Superman?!!

But before he could contemplate more on this theory, the wind pushed him back with such force, Roxas almost fell back.

What the heck?!!

He tried to push back against the force, sprinting even faster, but instead, he felt his feet lift from the floor.

Oh, no!

He slowly lifted from the ground, all the while being shoved back by the bullying wind.

No, no, no, no, no!

The wind blew even faster, and Roxas, still trying to fight back but with no prevail, got blown away, sailing in the air in the opposite direction.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Ven reached the finishing line, and half the Organization mobbed him and lifted him on their shoulders, yelling "New Guy! New Guy! New Guy!" over and over again in triumph. Axel faced the same direction Roxas had flown off.

"Roxas! Roxas! You're going the wrong way! Thanks a lot for losing me 10,000 munny!" He yelled sourly.

Far off in the distance, Xigbar could be seen pounding fists with Xaldin. Mission completed.

"Our first event has been completed, and I am pleased to announce that 'The New Thirteen" was victorious," The Superior proclaimed in his booming voice, made even more boomier now that they were all back and seated in the spacious meeting room. Very boomy. "I am still perplexed as to why we found Roxas ten miles away in a colossal tree, especially since The World that Never Was has never been known for its overabundance of foliage, but I guess we can all say that Number Thirteen was never known for his… 'good luck'."

"As in he always gets shafted," Saix added, just to make sure the Superior was made perfectly clear.

Still seated in his chair, Roxas couldn't help but growl. He then heard Axel 'tch' in the seat beside him. "Yeah, teaches me to bet any money on him." He mumbled.

The Key's eyes widened a fraction before he turned to Axel with a glare. "Yeah, well, I-"

"It's true, Roxas! What do you want me to say?" Axel snapped back irritably.

Roxas drew back in shock. He tried to open his mouth, but then closed it, then opened it, then closed it again, his mouth fluttering in absolute speechlessness. His eyes suddenly grew remorseful, but he hung his head in shame before Axel could even sense what he had done. He lifted his chair several feet higher, where the other members couldn't witness his disgrace.

"Okay, maybe I was a little too cold…,"Axel mumbled to himself.

"Ha! Axel, cold!" Demyx snorted from his seat beside the pyro, finding the evident oxymoron absolutely hilarious.

And then he shrieked when he found out his pants were on fire.

"We will now move on to our next competition," Xemnas continued. "Xigbar, you will choose the event."

Everybody looked at Xigbar, who was grinning fiendishly. Definetely a bad sign of what was to come.

"Well, let's see...ah, I know! What about an old drinking game I used to play with my buddies?"

Everybody stared at the Freeshooter like he was crazy.

"Um, Xigbar?" Axel asked, confused, "Isn't Rox and the new guy a little too young for drinking games…or drinking in general?"

Xigbar snorted. "Heck, we're an Organization that wants to steal people's hearts and souls for our own pathetic attempt at a life! Since when do we care about breaking a few laws?"

The rest of said Organization mumbled in approval, convinced.

"What game do you have in mind, Xigbar?" Zexion questioned, always interested in any game, mind game or not.

"Well, it's only the best drinking game ever!" Xigbar boasted, "You see, you give each man a gun and a rum bottle. Then, they have to guzzle it down as fast as they can, throw it in the air, and shoot the bottle. Whoever shoots it first wins! Now, doesn't that sound like the best game ever, or not?"

Now everybody stared at the Freeshooter like he was crazy and homicidal.

"Um, pardon me, Xigbar," Luxord inquired, hesitant, "You know, I love drinking games as much as any old chap, but have you gone abso-bloody-lutely barmy! My goodness, do you know what guzzling a whole bottle of liquor could do to you?! And, then, we can't forget the bloody gun! These young chaps never touched a gun, little known try to commandeer one when squiffy! Are you daft, man?"

Vexen nodded in agreement. "Yes, I have to agree with Number Ten on this one, even though I have to confess, I can't say I know exactly what he's saying." He shrugged it off. "Either way, we cannot sacrifice our fellow members in such a barbaric way."

Axel, who decided he had stayed silent for too long, finally spoke up. "Hey, Xigbar, you say you used to play this with your drinking buddies?" he asked, skeptically.

"Yeah, all the time!" Xigbar exclaimed proudly, glad that someone saw the fun in his favorite nostalgic game.

"Huh. So, I'm just taking a shot at the dark here, but I'm guessing that's how you lost your eye, isn't it?"

"Dude! That's exactly how I lost my eye! How did you know?!" the elder asked, completely stoked.

"Just a guess," Axel answered, smirking.

"Anyway, as fascinating as this all is, shouldn't we ask the Superior what he believes is the best choice?" Saix chided, no doubt trying to harvest as many brownie points as a nobody possibly can. And so far, Saix was the King of Brownie Points.

"Thank you, Saix," Xemnas nodded towards Number Seven in…was that appreciation? Yay, brownie points! "We shall use Xigbar's idea. It definitely sounds…entertaining." His monotonous voice was cut off by another wicked smile, causing many of the members to sink farther into their seats in dread. "In fact, I can't anticipate to see what events will occur! May the best non-existence being win. Oh, and Demyx, please stop your screaming! You have the power over water, for goodness sake! Put the fire out! That being said, to the bar!"

And the Organization did as they were told, heading to the bar right down the hall. Yes, the Organization XIII has a bar. They're a group of over-worked men and a woman who have the most depressing lives known to existence. Damn right, they should own a bar!

The group of ne'er-do-wells flooded into the bar. The TV bolted into the corner wall held the last few seconds of an intense game, but the members ignored it, both teams taking different sides of the rooms to support their Roxas. It was getting serious, now.

Axel strode towards his Roxas, clapping a hard hand on his shoulder. "Okay, Roxas, now, we gotta be serious! You see, Roxas, if you lose this one, you're out of the competition, and that snot-nosed runt will take your place! You understand that, Roxas? That's why we gotta cheat-and don't try to argue, you know you want to! And again, you probably shouldn't worry too much, Roxas. You can probably beat that little jerk up. In fact, I know you can. Did you see that stuck-up dwarf try to fight those sorcerers earlier today? Hmph, graceful, my can. Looked like a friggin' ballerina! Wuss…but, see, Roxas, that's why you can totally beat this guy! Totally believe in ya, Roxas. But, cheating just ensures that win! And, you know, even if you do lose, I don't mind violently burning a few of his limbs off. Kid would probably be left in shock after that, anyway, and couple that with the lack of limbs, and he'll be completely useless in a fight. The Superior would have to pick you! So, what d'ya say, Roxas?

The keybearer looked shocked, his eyes the size of blue planets. "Um…I'm Ven…" he stuttered irritably, trying to look away from the pyro's intense glare.

Axel's face fell. Holy…well, that explained the nervous twitch the kid had while he was talking. "Um…wow. Isn't this awkward," he chuckled, needless to say, nervously, "Well, sorry about that. Thought you were Roxas…you know, since you guys look the same…and all…I'm just…going to go find him now…probably needs a pep-talk, you know, hehehe……promise not to kill me in my sleep if you win?" Axel grinned hopefully.

"Um….sure…I guess…"

"Okay, great, see ya later, man!"

Axel rushed to the other side of the bar, pushing the other members out of the way to get to his Roxas.

"Axel?" Roxas questioned when he saw Axel emerging from the crowd of nobodies, out of breathe. "Where were you? What happened? Why were you talking to Ven over there?" He had a hurt look on his face.

"Nothing…Rox," Axel breathed, "I swear…if that kid wins…I'm so gonna kill him in his sleep…"

Roxas stared frightfully, but then rolled his eyes. Why did he care if Axel killed that guy in his sleep? In fact, he didn't think it was a bad idea.

Axel, having finally brought his respiration track back to normal and catching the dull look in Roxas's eyes, decided to change the subject. "So, you ready to drink yourself into an early grave, or what?"

Maybe that wasn't the best subject to change to…Axel thought when he saw the dejected look on the young keyblader's face.

"I guess…" he mumbled.

"Well, you know, this is the first time you're going to have access to some real liquor," Axel reminded, trying to lighten up the mood, "Must be pretty cool, huh?"

"Uh-huh…" Roxas muttered, eyes overcast.

"Yeah..." Axel trailed off, a little put off from the younger one's depressed attitude. I mean, he was used to it and all, but still… "So…you ready to kick this guy's ass, or what?"

Roxas snorted. "Like that'll happen."

This alarmed the pyro. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's like you said, Axel," Roxas said bitterly, "I always get shafted. Good never came to me, and it never will. I might as well give up now."

"Ah, Rox, I didn't mean it like that…" Axel disagreed, immediately regretting what he said.

"But it's still true," Roxas retorted, "I always get shafted!"

"Roxas, that's not true! A lot of good things happen to you!"

"Oh, yeah! Name one!"

"Uh, well, um, you see, there's…there's…" Axel stammered, mulling over the past examples of good luck the keyblader had gotten himself into. Hmm…not too many... "Well…you found me as a friend." the pyro smiled, hoping that he had picked a good example.

"Oh, yeah, that's just great! Sora gets to be friends with the cool guy with the dark, bad boy image that all the girls want a piece of, a hot island chick that would do anything he asked for, and, to top it all off, a barrage of fun Disney characters that can make him happy whenever he wants. And what do I get? I get an egotistical psychomaniac whose hobbies are, when not putting me down, burning down farmhouses and scaring small children! Yeah, I'm a real lucky one!"

"Aw, Roxas, that's no fair!" Axel retorted, "It was Halloween when I put those fake eyeballs in those kids' candybags! Get into the holiday spirit!"

"Axel, I didn't want to say this, but your presence in itself scares kids. You're just kind of intimidating looking, okay?!"

Axel stopped and thought about it. "Well, okay. You got me there," he agreed.

"See! So you were right, I fail at life! I'm probably going to lose this competition, and there's nothing you or I can do about it!" Roxas sat himself on the barstool and turned around towards the bar, crossing his arms and giving a 'hmph!"

Axel, never one to be told that he was wrong, placed a hard hand on the keybearer's shoulder. "Look, Roxas, you may not always get the girl, or the normal friends, or even the good endings. 'Cause, let's face it, you end up with the suckiest ending than any other character in this game."

Roxas shuttered in dread, trying to block the fact that he was going to be stuck with Sora for the rest of his life by the time his story was all said and done.

"Nevermind about all that," Axel continued, pressing his hand harder to hold the kid's attention, "The point is you can't give up. I mean, do you think you're the only one who has it bad. All of us nobodies get it harsh! We all die by end, for crying out loud!"

"Are you seriously comparing getting stuck with Sora for eternity to dea-"

"No, of coarse not, but, you have to admit, it's still a pretty bad ending."

Roxas snorted, but agreed.

"But, you see, we still fight. That's the difference between a man and a boy, rather you're a somebody or a nobody. You stick it out when the going gets rough, and fight for what you want, for what you need, even if the odds are against you. You following me?"

Roxas, still not turning around to face the pyro, nodded.

"Good. And I didn't mean it when I said you always get shafted."

"Then why did you say it?" Roxas mumbled, still a little livid.

"I always say things like that to toughen you up, Roxas! You haven't noticed that by now?" Axel asked incredulously, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Roxas hesitantly looked back at him. "…Really?"

"Really! Sheesh, kid, you are slow!"

Roxas blushed, but he seemed to lighten up. "Well, okay, fine. I'll try. But only because I want to commit underage drinking and get away with it!"

"See, that's the spirit!" Axel praised. "Now, want to know a sure-fire way to win this contest!"

"What?"

"Cheat!" Axel proposed proudly.

Roxas was immediately hesitant. "Axel, we've been over this before…"

"Yeah, and before, you lost! And with embarrassing consequences, I must add," the pyro reminded, causing Roxas to blush in the memory of his defeat, "Now, don't you actually want to win this round?"

"Well…I don't know…" Roxas hesitated.

"C'mon, Rox. It's either win this one, or lose your jugular, what will it be?"

"Uh, well…I-I…um…eh…hmm…"

"Cheat or die!"

"Okay, okay! I-I'll cheat!"

"Good choice, Roxas!" Axel approved, delighted, "Now, how to cheat…Oh, Demyx!"

Demyx could hear Axel's cry from across the room, and he shuttered in horror. He knew he now had two choices: either go along with any half-baked, most probably illegal scheme the pyro had cooking up in his sadistic little mind, or die a gruesome death later that night.

"DEMYX!!!"

He decided to pick the former.

Roxas and Ven faced each other on either side of the table, already holding their bottles of Bacardi Silver and one-shot pistols.

"On your mark! Get set! Go!" Xigbar exclaimed, slamming his fist on the table.

Immediately the room was crowded with whoops and roars, each Organization member rooting for his Roxas. Ven already started chugging his rum, while Roxas smiled and followed suit. Little did they know, the Key of Destiny's sneaky smile was not caused from the joy of having his first drink, but from the pleasure of knowing that he was not going to get drunk at all.

You see, Axel had thought of an ingenious plan of getting Roxas to win. Roxas couldn't ever shoot a bottle of rum in the air while drunk, so he obviously had to be sober. Now, how could they do this? Well, that's where the Melodious Nocturne came in. They persuaded Demyx with well placed threats to break into the liquor cabinet (with the help of Roxas's keyblade, of coarse) and replaced his bottle of rum with water. He then took the two liquor bottles and entered the bar, slamming them on the table and shouted, albeit a little shakily, "Okay, let's get this over with! Let's drink!" Of coarse, the Organization already couldn't wait to see this event, so they didn't question why on earth Demyx would bark orders in front of the Organization itself so defiantly. Roxas and Ven took their seats, the Key of Destiny already knowing which side the bottle of water was placed. It was all smooth sailing from there.

They chugged at their drinks, pausing every now and then to suck in a breathe of fresh air. Roxas peeked a glance at his opponent, who, though he had started to get a drunken look on his face, was actually keeping up pretty well. The young nobody wondered how in the hell his look-a-like didn't drop dead from the alcohol poisoning yet, but decided he better keep focused on his own bottle of water. He might not have been feeling drunk, but he was definitely feeling sick with the sloshing water in his stomach.

After finishing his bottle in record time, Roxas took his pistol and got ready to fling his bottle in the air. He took a deep breathe, still feeling a little nauseous from being water-logged, and finally flung his bottle in the air. He pointed his gun, trying to eye the bottle, and finally pulled the trigger.

Axel had declared his scheme full proof, and, even though it went against his initial instincts, Roxas had to agree. The plan was perfect, they thought. But, there was one crucial hole in the plan, one very obvious fact that any amount of common sense would've let them see. Roxas never held a gun in his hand in all of his non-existent life, and definitely didn't know how to shoot one.

The bullet left the gun at a break-neck speed, causing Roxas to wince back from the force. It missed the bottle completely, then ricocheted off of a frying pan in the bar, then rebounded from a Saix's claymore, then bounced back from the metal plate in Vexen's head, and finally it hit the Superior's lower back, where the bullet finally decided to stop ricocheting.

Roxas mouth fell, agape, stunned and terrified. Axel made the same gesture, while Demyx had to cover his eyes. The whole Organization fell silent. The whole room was quiet, except for the agonizing screams that came from their Superior, and the sound of a gunshot from Ven's pistol. It had missed but shot the floor instead (he was really drunk). After that, Ven looked around at everyone's grave expressions. "H-hic!-hey…I-I wasn't thaaat b-bad!" he exclaimed drunkily.

"The Superior is now conscious and they say he will be in a satisfactory condition soon, yet he will still need to occupy the remainder of the day in the hospital," Saix announced to the rest of the Orgnization in the meeting room after the accident. "Until then, he had appointed me responsibility to continue the remainder of this competition."

The rest of the Organization nodded in agreement, acknowledging the Superior's grave conditions.

"Can't believe the little one shot the Superior in the ass, eh?" Luxord asked Larxene, who was sitting next to him.

The Savage Nymph snickered, "I can! That runt has the worse bad luck I've ever seen! I gotta say, though, it almost makes you feel sorry of the little thing…"

Luxord gasped, surprised at Larxene's compassion, who quickly put up a gesture telling him to wait.

"I said, 'almost'. I can't wait to see that diminutive little brat get it when Xemnas gets back! What a loser!" she laughed shrilly. "I mean, in the ass! Nice aim, Roxas!"

"It was the lower back!" Axel retorted, over hearing their conversation.

Larxene giggled. "Oh, come on, Axel! You gotta admit, it's pretty funny!"

"More like bloody hilarious!" Luxord put in.

"Just leave the kid alone. He goes through enough as it is…" He glanced at Roxas, who also overheard the conversation, and was looking down in dismay. Poor kid…, Axel couldn't help but think.

"The Superior informed me that the second round will be called a draw, since technically nobody did shoot their appointed target. He also informed me of what our last round will be," Saix continued, ignoring the quiet chattering of the members. A devious smile crept along his face. "It shall be a fight to the death!"

Everyone gasped, then fell into immediate chatter at the excitement of this last round. But then Vexen shouted, "Hold on, hold on! What was the importance of the last two rounds, then? And the whole jugular thing? If they were simply going to annihilate each other by the end of this competition, why did we even hold this senseless thing in the first place?"

Saix laughed without emotion. "We wanted to see them suffer and squirm under the pressure, that's why!" He replied tonelessly.

Vexen thought about it for a moment. "Alright, I do have to agree with that point," he finally stated.

The Organization members headed for their battle room, where a simulation system similar to that of the one you could see in Crisis Core was awating them. The two opponents went on opposite sides of the room again, putting on their headgear and stretching to get ready for their battle.

Axel made his way through the crowd, finally finding Roxas in a corner by himself, reaching for his toes. "Hey, Roxa-"

"I'm NOT freakin' Roxas, okay!" Ven yelled, before stomping off to the other corner of the room.

Axel stood, speechless. "….What the hell?" He then strode to the other side of the room, where he found his real Roxas again. "Hey, Roxas, you ready for the big battle? It's now or never!"

Roxas was quiet, but nodded anyway, and continued to stretch his hamstrings.

The pyro noticed the dejected look on his friends face. "What's wrong now?" he asked, trying not to sound a little irritated. Not that he didn't care for his best friend, but with the way Roxas seemed to be frowning constantly, he could've thought he was getting depression or something. Not that that was possible for a nobody…

"I'm sorry, Axel." Roxas blurted out.

This struck the pyro. "Sorry for what?"

"I'm sorry I suck." He said timidly, glancing at the floor.

"Wh-what?" Axel asked again, dumbstruck.

"I'm sorry I suck at everything, and that I let you down. I'm sorry that I'm probably going to lose, and that I'm wasting your time in the first place. I'm even sorry that I made you lose your money…I don't deserve to be in this Organization. I'm a failure, and everyone thinks so, too. I don't deserve to be part of anything. I'm bad luck, and I'm sorry the Organization had to make you in charge of a loser like me. I-I'm sorry..." he whispered all this while looking down, at his shoes, too scared to look up at his superior's pale green eyes.

Axel, still dumbstruck, couldn't take his eyes away from his friend's blonde spikes, which was the only part of his head he could see since his friend refused to pick up his head and look him in the eye. They both were quiet, until finally the younger one interrupted the silence, saying timidly, "I'm just going to go make a fool of myself now. Sorry, Axel."

Roxas made his attempt to leave, but Axel reached out and grabbed his shoulder firmly, keeping him there. The pyro spun him around and made him look at him. "Roxas…Rox, look at my eyes."

The Key of Destiny timidly looked up at those green eyes, waiting expectantly for Axel to say something.

"Roxas…what the hell is wrong with you?" Roxas gave a start, surprised at his friend's bluntness, which he shouldn't have been because everyone knew Axel could be overly straightforward. He then looked down dejectedly again, figuring the pyro to be right.

"No! That's not what I mean!" Axel reprimanded, seeing that the Key had misunderstood him. "Rox…look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. It's just that, you can be so hard headed sometimes."

Roxas glanced a cold stare, about to make a retort, when Axel interrupted him.

"Yes, I know I'm hard headed, too, Roxas! Even more then you, even!"

Roxas looked down again, this time with a defiant look on his face, wondering what the pyro was getting at.

"I'm just saying, just because you get a few bad breaks, doesn't mean you have to give up. I know you usually get the bad end of the stick, even for a nobody, but, it doesn't mean that you don't mean anything, well, at least, you mean as much as any other nobody. Rox, look at me." Roxas looked up from his staring contest with the ground, a cold look on his face. "Now, I know I have trouble sometimes showing my feelings…or my memory of my feelings, or whatever…"

"Trouble? Yeah, right. Sometimes I wish you'd shut up."

"Hey, a man is lying on the floor, burning to death, and he can't get a little emotional?! Anyway, we're going to get into trouble with Square Enix if you don't stop blurting out all the spoilers and just start listening to me!"

Roxas silenced himself, giving Axel another cold stare.

"Okay, Roxas, don't be stubborn. You know you're important, and not just because of that key you have. You're my best friend. My only real one, even. I think that's important."

"And what about me always getting shafted?!" Roxas retorted, hurt, "And your money?! You seemed pretty annoyed about all that! We don't even have feelings! Why do you care about me, anyway?! I'm a nobody, I can't be cared for!"

"Roxas, I don't know why, but I do care, okay! I do care rather they destroy you, or feed your jugular to the dusks, or even turn you into a dusk itself, whatever they do, I do care! I'd rather lose millions of dollars then lose my best friend! I may be a nobody, but I do have my priorities." Axel rebounded back, angry, his patience reaching it's boiling point. Roxas coiled back, surprised. Seeing this, Axel took a second to calm himself before saying, "Besides, I was mad when I said that, and I was stupid. I'm sorry. I don't care about the money, I really don't. And even if you do basically fail at life, I'll always be there to help you. So, don't worry. Even if you do lose, I'll fight this whole Organization tooth and nail by myself if I have to. Nothing's going to happen to you, as long as I'm certain. So calm down, will ya?"

Roxas stood with eyes wide, surprised that Axel had said that he had cared for him, and even apologized to him, which was not a very Axel thing to do. He looked down, before saying, "Axel, I'm sor-"

"Will you shut up!"

"I mean, I'm sorry I was being stupid before!" Roxas retorted at Axel's backlash, looking straight into the pyro's eyes, then sighed before saying proudly, "Axel, you're a good friend, and you're my only best friend, too. I'm sorry for what I said before…I was being stupid, too. I don't care what Sora has. I'd rather have a friend like you then have a heart any day."

Axel smiled, feeling a little warm inside. A feeling of friendship from a nobody, perhaps? "Well, thanks, Rox. Didn't know you cared."

Roxas couldn't help but blush. "Well, yeah, didn't know you did too."

They stood there uncomfortably for a minute, both looking their shoes, the simulation equipment, anything but the other. Finally Axel interrupted the silence. "Uh…shouldn't we hug, or something?"

Roxas winced before saying timidly, "Actually, I was thinking that, too, but I'm kind of afraid of the…Akuroku fangirls. Axel, you've seen what they did to Sora and Riku! They won't even go near each other anymore after the game finished! I don't want that to happen to us! I think I'll blow my brains out if I have to hang out with Demyx for longer than a week!" Roxas shuttered, disturbed at the mental images and the bad sitar music.

Axel thought about it for a minute, before saying, "You know what, Roxas? Screw the Akuroku fangirls! We're comfortable with our masculinities, so who cares what they say!"

"Yeah…you know, you're right!" The Key stated proudly, realizing there was nothing to be ashamed of.

And with that, they pulled each other into a very manly, dignified guy hug.

"So, about that cheating…"

"Shut up, Axel."

"Just wanted to make sure!"

They took there places at either side of the arena, weapons already in hand. Roxas had his two keyblades, the sinister Oblivion and the harmonious Oathkeeper, in either hand, while Ven (or Roxas the Second, as Vexen so proudly started naming him) held some archaic looking keyblade. They both stood in what looked like a wide, empty desert, no doubt the effect of the simulation. Everybody could feel the tension in the room, even with most of the members outside in the hallway looking through the room window, unseen by anybody going through the simulation. Only Axel and Xigbar stood closely by, ready to give their moral support.

Xigbar held his gun up.

"On your mark!" A suspenseful pause.

"Get set!" An even bigger suspenseful pause.

"…Go!"

Roxas and Ven pounced on each other, keyblades meeting with a sharp clang. Their weapons interlocking, they both stood for a long moment, trying to outdo the other in strength. Their bodies shook with the pressure.

"Rox, slug him in the face!"

"Huh?" Roxas looked to the sidelines at the Fury of Dancing Flames, a look saying, 'you're kidding, right?' on his face. Ven took this as his chance and struck The Key of Destiny with a hard punch. Caught off guard, Roxas fell back on the sand, dust drifting everywhere.

Ven held up his keyblade, ready to swing with an overhead attack, but before he could strike, Roxas quickly regained his footing and shot across the sand in a burst of bright light. Ven's keyblade hit the ground, and he couldn't help but gasp at the Key's breakneck speed.

Ven didn't have time to wonder at Roxas's speed, though. Almost immediately, Roxas was already leaping across the room and toward his adversary, keyblades whirling around in a loop of bright light. Ven quickly jumped out of the way, and as soon as Roxas hit the ground, pounced on him. Roxas counterattacked with his own keyblades, causing both keyblades to clash in an ear-piercing noise. The force of the attack sent Ven into the air, Ven himself caught off guard by Roxas's determined strength.

While Ven was in the air, Roxas took this chance to point his keyblade toward the flying keyblader, hoarsely yelling, "Blizzaga!" Immediately, his keyblade started to emit an icy aura, and a ball of ice power bursted out and towards Ven. The ice ball hit him in full force, and he could feel the ice tendrils traveling up his lower torso. He looked at his legs, cursing. "Not again!" he exclaimed. He brought his keyblade up and yelled "Firaga", submerging his body in swirling balls of flames and defrosting himself.

Even then Ven didn't have time to land and get his bearings, for Roxas had already leaped up and tried to take advantage of his victim in the air. He whacked at Ven with his keyblades as hard as he could, but the more experienced keyblader was able to block all of the attacks.

Roxas finally gave up and let Ven hit the ground with a thud, miraculously landing safely on his feet. Dust was floating everywhere from the landing, causing Ven to have to squint through the storm and at his enemy, who was still in the sky. He could see what looked like bright, straight lines surrounding the keyblader, and Roxas himself seemed to be summoning something. A burst of bright light appeared above Roxas, and spreaded out across the sky and landed on the ground, causing a sphere to surround both the warriors. The sky turned from a bright blue into an infernal darkness of clouds. Already, Ven knew this wasn't going to end well.

Sure enough, Roxas started to summon bright, silvery spheres of light and sending them towards Ven. The keyblade apprentice dodge rolled out of the way as quick as he could, trying to get closer to Roxas all the while. Finally, when the last crystal ball hit the ground and faded away, Ven was close enough to leap up and beat the Key of Destiny with all his might.

Roxas fell from his spot in the sky, but quickly got back up and casted curaga before Ven could make another move. Ven pounced on him, their keyblades clashing, interlocking again. Both were gasping and panting, but neither would give up the struggle.

"Rox, kick him in the balls!"

"What?!" Roxas's eyes went wide, shocked by Axel's idea. Ven then kicked Roxas in the balls while he was off guard, sending him to his knees and causing him to dismiss his keyblade. Axel could be seen off in the sidelines scratching at the back at his head, smiling sheepishly.

"Stop helping!" Roxas rasped towards Axel, holding his precious jewels. He then turned around and faced Ven, yelling, "You cheat!" and socking him right in the balls, sending him to the ground and making him dismiss his keyblade, also. Roxas leaves no prisoners.

Both of the keyblade warriors laid writhing on the ground, holding their packages and groaning in pain.

"Um, any minute now?" Xigbar coughed, impatiently.

Both of the keybladers looked up in surprise (and pain), but quickly remembered where they were and summoned their keyblades, interlocking them again.

"So…you think you're pretty tough, huh?" Roxas panted after several seconds, under pressure from Ven's keyblade."

"Eh, I can hold my own. You're pretty good yourself." Ven replied between shallow breaths.

Roxas panted for a few seconds. "…Thanks." He finally replied, a bit grudgingly.

A few seconds passed of one keyblader trying to overpower the other keyblader. Then Roxas spoke up again. "Where do you learn all your techniques, anyway? You're pretty good yourself…"

Roxas wondered if Ven was blushing, or if he that red tinge in his cheeks was just from over-exerting himself. "Thanks. I've learned everything I know from Master Xehanort, like I said before."

"Master…what?" Roxas questioned, forgetting all about the conversation before.

"Xehanort."

"God bless you," The Key replied, before moving on. "Wow, a master…" he wondered.

"Well, yeah. Terra and Aqua also taught me a lot of what I know."

"Wow…I bet they're all pretty proud of you. With how you turned out, and all…" Roxas looked down from his enemy's face, which was only a few inches from his. He never any much recognition in his life…well, except from Axel, but that didn't compare to a Keyblade Master.

"Well…not exactly." Ven said, doubtfully.

Roxas looked back at Ven eagerly. "What do you mean?"

"Well, Terra and Aqua are really nice…especially Aqua," Ven blushed, "But…well, they're always treating me like some stupid kid."

"Really?" Roxas replied, still eager to know more. His hold on the keyblade loosened.

"Yeah…they act like I'm some type of burden, or something."

"Yeah!" Roxas exclaimed enthusiastically, "That's how the Organization treats me, too!"

"Really?"

"Yeah!" Now Ven's hold was loosening.

"It's annoying, right?"

"Exactly! I mean, I've defeated countless of heartless, even a Guard Armor or two! You think that would earn someone some respect, don't you think?" Their holds loosened even more…

"Yeah, but it never does! All they see is your baby face and the fact that you're still too short to go on the majority of the Disney rides, and they assume you're just some stupid kid who can't do anything!"

"Hey, speak for yourself! I don't have a baby face," Roxas retorted, jokingly.

Ven laughed. "Oh, I'm sorry, I guess that's all me in that department." They both had dismissed their keyblades by now, laughing and putting their arms around each other's shoulders as if they were good friends.

"Uh-um," somebody harrumphed. Roxas and Ven both looked over to Xigbar and Axel, who both seemed a little impatient. "So," Xigbar started, "are you guys gonna start fighting, or what?"

"Well…" Roxas scratched the back of his head.

"I don't really want to now," Ven voiced what the Key was thinking, "Roxas is a pretty cool guy, once you get to know him."

"Hey, thanks! You're not so bad yourself…" Roxas trailed off, not remembering his double's name.

"Ven," his double replied, smiling.

"Ven." Roxas replied warmly, smiling back.

Immediately, the desert around them dissolved. They were now in the simulation room, with Saix at the control pad, and he did not look too happy.

"Well," Saix started, a little irritated, "It doesn't matter if either of you don't want to battle each other to the death. If one of you doesn't die, we all will."

The rest of the Organization stood next to him, agreeing with their 'yes, that's true!' and 'I don't want to die!" The latter part coming mostly from Demyx.

"Sorry, little dudes, the wolf-man has a point," Xigbar sympathized, causing Saix to growl in response, "So, what do we do with the Double-Mint twins?"

"We will have to kill Roxas," Saix stated bluntly.

"What?!!" Axel yelled, flabbergasted.

"Why me?!" Roxas retorted defiantly, and a bit scared.

"I hold responsibility of this Organization while the Superior is gone, and what I say goes," Saix answered, smugly, "Ven is the better warrior, and knows skills that we do not, for he is from an earlier time. He is a much better addition to the Organization then Roxas is. Case closed."

"Damn it, Saix! I'll swear, I'll get you one day!" Axel cursed melodramatically.

"I'll await for that time, Axel." Saix challenged. He might as well have been saying, "Bring it on, Pyro!"

Ven turned to Roxas, guilt apparent on his features. "I'm sorry, Roxas! I should've never touched that time machine in the first place!"

"No, it's alright," Roxas replied, almost in tears, "it's not your fault! I'm glad I got to meet my double…"

Ven smiled, albeit a little sadly.

"I'm not gonna let them touch you, Rox!" Axel cried, hands already on Roxas's shoulders, turning him around to face him. "If they want you, they're gonna have to get through me!"

"Thanks, Ax," Roxas replied, a little hopelessly, "It was good knowing you. You were my only friend." He pulled him into a hug, and Ven joined in, having a touching moment before the death of a friend.

Then, everyone heard a scream. "Wait! Don't do anything yet!"

Everybody turned toward the noise. It was Vexen, standing at the doorway, in his lab coat and goggles, and looking worse for wear.

"Everybody, I have found the tear in the space time continuum! I know how to send the old Roxas back to his original time! We will all be saved!"

Already, there was celebrating. Woops and yells of joy could be heard, everyone happy to be able to fix this problem without any bloodshed. Well, almost everybody.

"Why doesn't anybody ever let me go berserk anymore," Saix mumbled sourly, "Damn happy endings…"

Everybody was in Vexen's white lab, ready to see Ven off. The wide lab held Vexen's time machine, which was able to tear paths in the space time continuum, and everybody was marveling at Vexen's powerful mind once again. To make a time machine in such a short time? Remarkable…and has nothing to do with the author, who grew tired with the story and just wanted it to end already.

Everybody surrounded Ven as he said goodbye to his last new friend, Roxas.

They stood their awkwardly, looking down and about before Ven finally brought up the courage to say, "I'm gonna miss you, Roxas."

Roxas looked up, and grinned. "Thanks. I'm gonna miss you, too, Ven. You're actually an awesome guy, once I got to know you."

"Thanks. You are, too." Again, there was another awkward silence.

"So…shouldn't we hug, or something?" Ven finally asked.

Roxas locked his gaze on Ven, and smiled proudly. "You know what? We should, shouldn't we?"

And with that, they pulled each other into a very dignified man-hug, Roxas's second one that day. Of coarse, now with the Organization watching, there was a lot more coughing and mumbling going on during this hug.

"Get a room!"

"Cough! Yaoi! Cough!"

"I wonder how many RoxasXVen fans there will be after this…"

"Oh please! AkuRoku's where it's at!" Demyx announced, proudly.

Immediately, Roxas pulled away from his dude-hug with a wide-eyed look on his face. Axel strode by his side, scratching his head before saying, "Yeah, Roxas…after this story is over, we're going to have to stop hanging out together...just for a few weeks, you know, until the akuroku fans…calm down…"

"Yeah, okay," Roxas replied almost immediately. I guess it's time to start looking forward to spending the next few weeks with Demyx…oh, wait, turns out he's an akuroku fan, too………my life is so screwed up.

"Well, okay, everybody! Time to send our dear Roxas the Second home! The world could blow up any second now, so let's do this fast!" Vexen hurried, sending Ven to his seat in the time machine and pressing the buttons to send him home.

The time machine flashed many colorful lights that filled the room. Before it could disappear into the space time continuum, Ven took one last goodbye wave to his new friend. Roxas waved back, sad to see his new friend go, but happy to meet him, all the same.

The time machine disappeared into a burst of flash light, and just like that, Ven was gone.

"Woah," Roxas replied, coming to a realization after the bright light show he just witnessed, "That was strangest thing that happened today, wasn't it?" He asked, turning to Axel.

Suddenely, a black portal formed in the middle of the lab, and out of it came the Superior.

Immediately, everybody came to crowd him, curious how his time in the hospital had gone, and surprised by how quickly he healed. Especially Saix.

"How was your stay in the Hospital, Superior?" He voiced the question for everyone.

"Well…" the Superior started, a slight uneasiness in his voice, "They removed the bullet, and I was able to heal quite quickly, surprisingly…" he fidgeted, "But…"

"But…?" Saix questioned, curious.

"I have AIDS," Xemnas finally confessed.

Immediately, the room quieted down, an awkward silence filling the air.

"Irony," Vexen finally stated, a bit smugly, "you gotta love it!"

Roxas could see Xemnas blush, the first time he think he ever saw him blush.

He turned to Axel again, biting his lip. "So….I stand corrected, huh?"

Axel simply shrugged. "Eh, I'm not surprised. With all the mansex, the guy had to get it sometime, am I right?" he grinned.

Roxas cocked his head, confused. "Huh?"

Axel decided it was time to digress. "Uh…want to go get some ice cream?"

Roxas immediately perked up, happy to hear anything about ice cream. "You're paying!"

Leaving the lab through the portal and onto the streets of Twilight Town, Roxas's thoughts trailed off to the adventures he had today. It wasn't until they had bought their ice cream and were sitting on the ledge of Twilight Tower when he turned to his older friend and asked, "Hey, Axel…do you think Ven will remember me?"

Axel looked to Roxas with a confused look, but then a knowing smile grew on his face. "Roxas, he'll remember you. You're a pretty hard guy to forget."

Roxas smiled and took a bite out of his ice cream, knowing that whatever happened, he was going to remember Ven for a long time… and, kick his friend's ass in Super Bros. Brawl when they got home.

Yep, it was just another normal day for Roxas at The World that Never Was.

"I'm telling you guys! There was a whole secret Organization!" Ven exclaimed, exasperated. "They were all wearing black cloaks and sat in super high chairs and had secret meetings and everything!"

"Alright, Ven, we heard you the first time!" yelled Terra, agitated.

"Why don't you guys believe me?!"

"Ven, maybe you've been having a little too much of those high potions," Aqua's motherly voice soothed, a bit worried, "They're only good in moderation, you know."

"Guys! I'm serious! I really did meet a secret Organization, and there was somebody who looked just like me, too! He had two keyblades, and he knows how to make bright light ball things attack you!"

Terra leaned in towards Aqua, mumbling under his breath, "I'm telling you, keep this kid away from the potions from now on. Hide them in a high cabinet he can't reach or something, I don't know! Just keep him off the juice!"

"He also gives a mean punch to the balls if you're not careful…"

"Shut the hell up, Ven!"

Yeah, I know, this story was on crack. But I tried not to make it too on crack, honestly, I did! Well, next story shouldn't be too long at all, but I still have my other story to right, plus this year is just being impossible to me. I have no time for anything anymore, as I think I stated before. Well, I hope this story is good, and if it's not, don't hesitate to tell me. I love constructive criticism, it helps future stories become better!