Of course, thank you to all of you. Honestly, I have some of the best reviewers. It makes me so happy when I read how much you get these characters. You're awesome.

Birdee, you are the best. You make my hunk-a-junk story so much better. You're like the chocolate coating to my raisin so to speak. For that, I thank you.

Music: "This Scene is Dead"-We Are Scientist, "I'm Still Breathing"-Katy Perry, "Stupid and Shallow"- The Futureheads


Chapter 12- Dig

I'm still breathing

But we've been dead for a while

This sickness has no cure

We're going down for sure

Already lost a grip

Best abandon ship

I'm Still Breathing- Katy Perry

Stop staring, you idiot.

When his eyes met mine, I tried to quickly turn my head the other way. Some how my brain messed up the signal and my whole body swung to the right, taking out a half eaten dessert plate, a full wine glass, and a candle holder. The wax splashed across the wine soaked table cloth while some sought higher ground on the top of my wrist.

Holy fucking shit balls, that's hot!

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly so no tears could leak out and started to violently shake my wrist back and forth. Within a second, someone steadied my hand and the rush of cool air tickled my hand. When I opened my eyes, Philip was gently blowing on my wrist.

"Better?" he asked, meeting my eyes again.

Look. Away.

I started to move my neck…

Slowly, I added in my head. So, I did.

He lowered my arm to my lap. "Thank you," I said in a tone that matched my junior high blush and…giggle? Did I just giggle? Fuck, at this point, writing his name in bubble letters on my history binder would have been more subtle.

"My pleasure," he smirked, releasing my hand and ghosting his palm along my arm.

Holy fucking shit balls, now that's hot.

"Thank you for dinner and dessert and the drinks. Wow, what a mooch I've been."

"Oh, but you've been a cute mooch." He brushed some hair behind my ear and used the opportunity to lean in closer and whisper, "And the sight of your lips around that strawberry was well worth the ruined table cloth and free meal."

I'm going to die, in this chair, of an over excited clitoris. I was pretty sure the throbbing between my legs meant my vajayjay was having a heart attack.

Well, worse things could happen.

"Bella, are you ok? You have a weird look on your face. Are you going to be sick?" The sound of Emmett's voice was all the defibrillator I needed to bring me back to reality.

"Yeah…uh…yeah, fine."

"I'm guessing you're Mr. Rossi?" Alice asked. She angled her body so that she was facing Philip and me.

"Yes, but please, it's Philip." He extended his hand to hers. When she placed her hand in his, he kissed the top of it softly.

I heard Edward exhale loudly, and I imagined he was rolling his eyes while he did so.

"Edward." Philip nodded in his direction. "I didn't get a chance to say hello earlier. It's nice to see you again."

"Likewise," Edward mumbled.

I stood up next to Philip and introduced everyone at the table before introducing him. "Everyone, this is Philip. He's part owner of the restaurant."

"Have you two known each other a while, or is this just a recent thing?" Rose asked skeptically.

"We just met at the bar earlier tonight," I said.

"But I would love to get to know her better. I would love to know you all better," he added.

Edward made a gagging noise, and I looked at him. He coughed a few times before speaking. "Must have had some truffle stuck in my throat."

"Must," Jasper repeated mockingly, while nodding his head.

Rose grabbed her purse off the table and pushed her chair back, "I guess it's time to get going. I'm sure Philip is a busy man and needs to get back to work." Rose yawned a little into her palm. "It's starting to get late, too. We all have work in the morning."

"I'm not tired," I interjected, reaching for my drink that mysteriously moved across the table next to Rosalie.

Emmett's eyes got wide and he looked at Rose, pushing out his lower lip. He wanted to go to the bar next door. Rosalie wanted to take a bath and read a book.

"Rose, you came in a separate car than Emmett, so if you want to go home you can." I looked down at Emmett. "I'll walk next door with you, Em."

"Sounds good," he said, standing up and kissing his girlfriend on the cheek. "If you want to leave, Alice, I'll drop J off on my way home."

I turned to Philip while they tried to figure out driving arrangements. "I'm sure you have a lot to do around here, but maybe when you get off you can meet up with us?"

"I can do better than that," he smirked. "Give me a moment to tell Vincent I'm leaving and I'll meet you at the door."

I nodded as he leaned down to kiss my cheek again before walking away.

When I glanced back at my friends they were staring at me. "Philip's coming," I announced. I didn't know why I said it, it just seemed appropriate, like yelling "Uno!" or "Jinkies!" or "I'm screwing the prom king!". There was something about awkward silence; it just made me feel, well, awkward. In return, it made me say awkward things. Vicious cycle, I tell you.

I watched as Rose's face transformed from anger to a pout. "I…I thought we were hanging out tonight. You know, the three amigos. Just us chicas."

"Did I just miss something?" I asked. "Since when did you become Spanish, Rosalinda?"

Emmett was looking at Rosalie smugly. "Told you that Rosetta Stone was worth it."

She clenched her teeth together and stared at him. "Three hundred dollars just so you could learn dirty words in four different languages. Three. Hundred. Dollars."

He mumbled something before pulling Jasper's shirt and walking toward the front of the restaurant. I was curious why Edward didn't follow them, but I assumed this sudden telenovela was more interesting to him than whatever Pinky and the Brain were getting into.

"Look, I wasn't trying to start a fight or anything. I just thought you girls were going home and that it would be nice to hang out with someone new, but now I'm just sobering up and getting cranky. I either need another drink or some more of those chocolate amoretto thingies."

"Maybe you should just go home, Bella." Alice whispered. "Go get some good sleep."

"Don't think I listed that as one of my options. Liquor or liquor-filled chocolate. One of the two."

Edward stood and met my eyes. I could tell he wanted to talk, so I just shook my head at him. He sighed and turned toward the girls. "I'm going to find the guys. We will be next door so whoever wants to come can join us over there. Ok?"

"That's fine. I have to meet Philip at the front door right now anyways. We will be there in a minute."

Rose and Alice grabbed their purses from the back of their chair and followed Edward and me to the door. Emmett and Jasper were standing outside discussing something guy related I imagine when they saw us walk through the door.

Emmett kissed Rose softly. "I won't be out too late, baby."

"Well that's good. I have things to do in the morning."

"Excuse me?" he asked.

"I don't want to stay out late either. I was hoping to go to the gym before work in the morning." She put her arm around his waist and nuzzled under his arm.

He glanced over at me with a questioning stare. "Uh…ok. Good. Yeah, that sounds good."

"I can wait for Philip if you guys want to go ahead." I was excited about hanging out with my new friend and getting to spend some time with my old friends, but it seemed like I was the only one. I was hoping the girls would get well acquainted with a fresh drink before I brought Philip around again. A buzzed meet and greet was better than a sober one when it came to them.

"No need," a voice said from behind me. "I'm right ready to go." I looked over my shoulder at Philip and smiled.

Quoting the famous Tony the Tiger, I let out a sarcastic "Grrrrreat."

Luckily, we were able to take the ten steps to the bar without having to put a muzzle on Rose.

"I don't think she likes me," Philip whispered into my ear while nodding over to Rose.

"No, that's just her. She's like a Tootsie Pop, hard on the outside but soft and chewy on the inside. Just give her a few licks and you're golden". Out of the corner of my eye, I could see his smile broadening. "Not literally. Do I need to make you promise not to lick my friends?"

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder before he spoke again, "Well I can promise I won't lick your friends, but anyone else and that might put a damper on my plans for the night."

I felt my knees weaken, and I did a mental sign of the cross. I wanted to prepare myself; I had a feeling his guy might make me see God.

The bar was fairly empty, so we found a large horseshoe shaped booth in the corner. Of course in the order we all filed into the damn thing, I ended up being stuck in-between Edward and Philip. Not five minutes later, a cute girl came and took our drink order before scurrying off to the bar with Philip's credit card.

"You don't need to do that. After dinner and everything, I should be buying your drinks," I stated.

"Technically, the dinner was on my father so that is neither here nor there." His palm was resting on my thigh while his index finger drew circles on my knee. "You are proving such great company, paying for your drinks is the least I could do."

Edward snorted while crossing his arms over his chest and looking around the bar. When the waitress walked up and handed me a drink, I lifted my arm and brought it back down, "accidentally" hitting Edward in the stomach with my elbow.

"Ow," he yelped while rubbing his side.

"Sorry," I mouthed innocently before sipping on my drink.

Everyone at the table talked about work and weekend plans. Emmett was trying to convince Jasper and Edward to go on a fishing trip. Rose, on the other hand, wanted to have a spa day. I was surprised by how uneventful and calm everyone was being, but then again, it seemed like all the action was happening under that table.

As my drink got lower and lower, Philips hand got higher and higher. I wasn't complaining, though. It was just yet again another awkward situation, and I knew how I acted in those. On the left of me was the last guy I slept with, and on the right was the one I was hoping I would. As his palm brushed under the hem of my skirt, I fought back the urge to scream "Yahtzee!"

"So how do you two know each other?" Alice asked looking at Edward and then Philip. They both remained quiet for a moment, so I hummed the Jeopardy theme song while waiting for their answer.

Edward glared at Philip until he spoke. "An ex."

"Yes, an ex." Edward repeated and downed the rest of his Guinness.

"Well, that's…interesting." Jasper remarked. "Anyone need anything? I'm going to make a run to the bar." Edward held up his empty bottle and two fingers.

Guess he planned to get schnockered too. Good for him.

I peeked over at Edward while he twisted the bottle in hands. I was mesmerized watching his fingers wrap around the glass and spin the bottom of the bottle on the table. I followed his arm with my eyes up to his shoulder, neck, and then face. I watched as he scrunched his eyebrows together, deep in thought and concentration.

He had bags under his eyes that I had never noticed and his clover green eyes were more muted then normal. I knew that look. I was the master of that look. He was here, sitting next to me, but inside, he was far away.

I wanted to grab his hand. I wanted to ask him what was wrong. I just didn't think I wanted to hear the answer. He was disappointed in me. He was disappointed in himself. He thought he could fix me, and he failed. I failed.

Tomorrow, I would apologize. Tomorrow, I would tell him that it wasn't his fault. That you can't fix something that isn't broken. Because I wasn't. I was manufactured mishap. I wasn't broken, I was made this way.

"You want to get out of here. Go some place a little quieter," Philip murmured.

I turned towards him. "Yeah, sure."

"Well, it has been an honor to meet all of you, but I'm afraid I need to call it a night." He stood and took my hand, helping me out of the booth. When I finally got up, he put his arm around my waist, steadying me in the swaying room. "I hope to see you again real soon."

"Night guys. I'll call you tomorrow," I mumbled as we moved away from the table.

"Wait," Edward yelled. "Are you leaving too?"

"Yeah. We were going to go somewhere that was a little less Animal House."

"You think you should be driving?" Alice asked.

"I'm not. Philip is driving. And I'm sure he can drop me off at home. Right?" I looked over at him and he nodded. "I can just take a taxi to my car in the morning before I go to work. See, it's all planned out."

Rose moved to stand right next to me. "Bella, can we talk?"

"Now is not the time cause I'm seeing two of you and I'm pretty sure you don't have a twin."

She sighed and grabbed my shoulder, pulling me away from the group. "I don't think you should go."

"I don't think I care," I snapped.

"Ok, you are probably going to hate me and at this point I don't care, but I'm not letting you leave with him." Her eyes were hard and focused on me. "You're drunk and I'm not going to let you do something you're going to regret tomorrow."

I was concentrating so hard on her that I didn't notice Alice move next to me. "Bella, this isn't smart. He seems like a nice guy and all, but you just met. Maybe it would be better if you two got coffee tomorrow or something."

I stared past them as they continued to lecture on all the reason I shouldn't go with Philip. I knew they were trying to look after me, but what aggravated me the most was the fact that they thought so little of me. They thought I was going to go home with him. That I was going to jump in bed with the first guy who showed me attention.

I was finally brought back to attention when I heard Alice mention Edward's name. "Jasper has known him forever and he seems like a really sweet guy, so the fact that he has problem with him just sends off alarms in my head."

"Well, I'm glad you are keeping me away from Philip for Edward's sake," I mumbled.

"Stop with this 'woe is me' bullshit," Rose barked. "I know things really suck for you right now. That you are hurting in ways I will never fully understand, but we are trying to help you. So, if you don't want to listen to us then that's fine. It's your funeral."

The words slipped out so fast, Rose didn't even know she said them. I couldn't be mad; she was right. I had been digging my own grave for long time now. I was stuck at five and half feet just look for someone to hand me another shovel to finish the job.

I stood there and scratched my head for a minute. "You're right. You are completely, 110% right. So, I'm just going to do what I planned from the beginning and take my pity party elsewhere."

I turned to walk back to the guys when Alice reached out for me. "Bella…"

I cut her off. "No, really it's fine. It's not you, it's me."

"Are you…are you breaking up with me?" Alice asked, confused.

I shook my head no. "I think I'm breaking up with all of you. It's just for the better, you know. None of you need to deal with this right now." I waved my hand up and down my body. "I need to get my shit together. Maybe after I do we can be friends again."

I walked away without saying bye to anyone. I heard my name echo off of Emmett's lips as I moved the now crowded bar.

Like a band aid. Quick and painless.

By the time I reached the door, I was crying what could only be vodka since I hadn't drunk water in four days. I was making my way back to the restaurant when I remembered that I was suppose to be leaving with Philip. I was going to wait by the curb for ten minutes. If he didn't show up, I was leaving. Sure enough, a minute later he was jogging over to me.

"Do you mind me asking what just happened? Your little friend…um…Alice, she just told me you dumped her. Is there something you didn't tell me?"

I put my head down, scratching my forehead in an effort to cover the tears forming in my eyes. "It's nothing. A long story."

"Well, why don't you wait here and I'll go get my car. We can go to my house and you can tell the long story over a midnight snack."

I nodded and he ran off to the car. He didn't live far from the restaurant ,so the ride was short, which was good. The silence just gave me more time to think about what had just happened. The more I thought, the more I hurt.

"There's no crying in baseball," I mumbled to myself.

"Excuse me?"

"Sorry. League of Their Own moment."

He cocked his head at me. "Uh, ok."

By the time we I was at his front door, I no longer needed him to hold me by the waist for support. I was still drunk, but the whole night had been a sobering experience.

"Would you like something to drink?" he asked.


He tossed me a water bottle from the fridge, and I took a seat on the couch. Soon after, he joined me with a plate of hummus and pita bread and bowl of grapes.

"Wow, your midnight snacks are so…healthy, and not at all involving Taco Bell or microwavable noodles." He pulled a large box from behind his back. Captain Crunch. He popped open the top and tilted it toward his lips. I watched as the small golden squares cascaded down into this mouth.

He handed me the box. "Better?"

"Much." I shook a few pieces of cereal into my hand before shoving them into my mouth.

"You have very beautiful lips. Full and," he leaned forward placing his lips against mine. "soft."

"Thank you," I blushed.

He moved closer to me, ghosting his palm along my outer thigh and up my side until he reached my head. He moved his hand until it was behind my head and tangled in my hair. Our legs were touching, so he moved his and grabbed my leg with his free hand, placing it on the couch. I was being gently lowered on my back as he moved over me.

The pressure of his weight was nice, exciting even. Maybe it was just the feel of something new that excited me.

As my head hovered above the arm rest, his lips crashed into mine again. This time it was wasn't a want, but a need.

Philip's mouth opened and I accepted the gesture, letting our tongues search for everything we desired.

His hand that he used to move my leg onto the couch started to work up my body. When I felt him reach the hem of my dress, I mumbled his name against his mouth. As it dipped underneath my skirt, I assumed he thought I moaned his name in encouragement so I said it again trying to get his attention.

His hand worked higher, getting awfully close to a place that was burning for his attention. It was battle for my heart's needs over my body's, and if he didn't stop then, my body's was going to win.

I pushed his shoulders back, lifting his face from mine. "Whoa, Nelly. We can't go there."

He lowered his head to my neck and spoke in between warm kisses. "Why not? I want to. I know you want to. I don't see the problem."

My neck was wanted to move to side to give him better access, but I held it still. "I do want to, just not tonight."

His hand started to massage my thigh. "Just relax and enjoy this. You need some well deserved attention."

Philip's hand started to feel heavier and coarser as fingered the edge of underwear. Both of my hands flew up to move his shoulders again. "Please."

He released the back of my head, letting it fall back and hit the arm rest, and grabbed one of my wrists tightly. He used his other hand to squeeze my thigh with the same force.

"Ouch. Shit. That hurts, let go."

His hand that was on my leg grabbed my other wrist and he brought them both together to meet above my head. He moved his knee to push my legs father apart. "You don't want me to stop. You just don't me to think you're easy, that you put out on the first date."

Both of my wrists were now bound by one of his large hands. He held them tightly together and stretched my arms farther away from my body so that my whole upper half couldn't move. I could feel my fingers starting to tingle like they were falling asleep.

"Look Casanova, don't go getting all America's Most Wanted on me. Haven't you ever heard 'no' means 'no'." I don't know why I thought talking and reasoning with him would work, but the only other thing I could think to do was scream and that didn't seem logical.

His grip around my wrist tightened and I winced. He moved his tip of his index finger along my jaw and lips. "You've just had too much to drink. I saw how you were looking at me. How you were acting. Don't play all innocent and coy now."

Philip grabbed at the strap of my dress and jerked it down, exposing part of my bra. I wiggled my hips, trying to get loose from under him. He smiled and kissed my collarbone.

"Someone's getting anxious," he breathed.

God how I wish I had a stapler.

Then a light bulb went off. I moved my leg slightly so that I could place my foot on this calf and started to rub it with the arch of my foot. I exhaled a few moan and even whispered his name for added effect. When I felt his body loosen some around me, I continued to rub my foot up leg until my knee was against his back. In one swift motion, I lifted my leg, putting all my force into the act of nailing him in the balls.

He immediately went into the fetal position and fell off the couch. I watched him squirm around on the floor with his hands between his legs for a second before he started to scream at me.

"What the fuck? You stupid bitch, get the fuck out of my house."

"Gladly," I replied. Leaping off the couch, I made sure I stepped on his leg as I walked away.

When I got outside, my body and my brain finally got in sync. My hands were shaking and my wrists were throbbing as mascara tinted tears ran down my face. I looked for my car before remembering I didn't drive. The restaurant wasn't far and I could have walked, but I was afraid I might run into Rose or Alice and that was the last thing I needed right now. I grabbed for my cell phone, called a taxi, and then walked to the corner of Birch and Downey where I told the guy I would meet him. Apparently, crying on the phone makes them get to you faster because ten minutes later I was in a cab on my way home.

The shaking had stopped by then, but the bruising was starting to show. Both of my wrists had two finger-sized marks and my right inner thigh had a large round bruise. The next week would be full of long-sleeved shirts and pants.

The cab idled outside of my townhouse, so I hopped out, paid and thanked the driver. I searched for my keys as I walked up the path to the door. As I went for the doorknob, I felt someone grab my shoulder and I jumped.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to scare you. I called your name, but I guess you didn't hear me."

I turned around and saw Edward looking at me apologetically.

"Yeah, I didn't hear you. I didn't expect you to be here." I squinted my eyes. "What exactly are you doing here?"

"I was in the neighborhood?" he said more as questions than a statement. I continued to wait for the real answer. He sighed. "I've been waiting in my car to make sure Philip brought you home safely."

"That's kind of creepy."

"I didn't plan on getting out and talking to you, but when I saw you get out of the cab I wanted to make sure you were ok."

"I'm good, just tired. It's been a long night so I think I'm going to go to bed."

As I moved to face the door he grabbed for my wrist. "Bella."

I sucked in a deep breath of air as the pain of his touch rushed through me. His fingers barely caressed my yellowed skin before he dropped my hand immediately.

"Shit. I'm doing everything wrong tonight. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry," he pleaded.

I shook my hand and took my wrist into my other hand, willing the ache to go away. "No need to apologize. You didn't hurt me."

He stiffened. "Did…did he hurt you? Let me see your hand."

"He didn't do anything. My body is just sensitive from the lack of nonalcoholic beverages and unprocessed food."

"Let me see your hand," he demanded through clenched teeth.

"I'm so not in the fucking mood for this," I replied as I opened the door and moved inside. Before I could turn around to close the door, Edward was following me in.

"Well, you need to get in the fucking mood cause I'm not leaving until you show me your hand."

"Then I'll call the cops."

"Good. Then while they're here, you can show them your hand and see what they think."

I opened the door and pointed outside. "Leave." He took a seat the counter. "Now." He crossed his arms over his chest.

I sighed and closed the door, flipped on the lights to the living room, and went back to the kitchen. I stood right in front of Edward and put my hands over my face so that I couldn't see him. My wrists were now eye level with Edward.

"There, you saw," I mumbled into my hands. "Please go." My voice was barely audible, but even I could hear the tone of defeat.

"Bella," he said, grabbing my elbows to lower my hands from in front of my face. "I'm going to ask you this one more time and whatever answer you give me, I'll accept. Did he do this?'

I knew I could be a crummy person sometimes, even a bitch and a smart ass, but I didn't like to be a liar. And I really didn't want to lie to him. So, I pled the fifth. I just stood there and didn't say anything.

He started to rub the bridge of his nose. "Jesus Christ, Bella. Did he do anything else? Did he make you-" He stopped his question because I'm sure he didn't want to know the answer.

"No, we didn't have sex. I left before it got that far."

"You need to call the cops. They need to know what happened."

I shook my head. "The only thing that needs to happen right now is a shower."

"I'm going to kill him," Edward murmured.

"No, you're going to go home and go to sleep. It's way to late too contemplate murder."

He was staring blankly at the wall behind me shaking his head. "I knew he was going to do it," he said. "I knew and I let you go. I let him hurt you."

"You didn't let him do anything. I'm the one who led him on all night. If it's any one's fault-" I stopped when his head snapped in my direction.

"Don't you dare take the blame for him. The guy you flirted with, the sweet, charismatic guy from the restaurant is just a mirage of the asshole that is Philip Rossi. He seems like a breath of fresh air in a stale room. Many, many people fall for it."

"I have a feeling you are speaking from experience."

He grunted. "I wish Rossi would touch me. I would love an excuse to hit him back," he seethed. "We meet at the Mayor's dinner last year. My girlfriend at the time came with me but left with him. I assumed she and Philip were happy because I never heard from her again. About a month later, I ran into her at the grocery store. She told me the other morning she had woken up, and Philip was gone. He didn't answer her calls, didn't answer the door to his house. She was worried something happened, so she went by the restaurant and saw him cozied up with some other girl at the bar. I saw the marks on her arms and shoulders. I didn't want to believe they were from him, but I knew better." He fixated his stare on me again. "I was hoping you would listen to Rose and Alice. I'm so sorry."

"There is really no need to apologize." I brought my arm up and twisted it so I could examine it better. "It looks a lot worse than it really is."

He stood in front of me and whispered, "You don't always have to be so brave on the outside." Edward took a step around me and disappeared into my bedroom. I didn't move but continued to look at where he was just standing. I wasn't brave. I was numb. Completely void of anything. I wanted to scream, but there was no sound. I wanted to hit, but there was no impact. I wanted to feel.

A few minutes later he appeared back in front of me. "I'm going to go, but I started the shower for you. I really hope you consider talking to the police. It might make you feel better to let them take care of some of your stress."

I went to nod my head and pat his shoulder, but somehow I ended up tilting my head and kissing him. My heart had told me the right thing to do at Philip's, so I had no reason not to listen to it now.

Edward moaned softly when we touched, and I hoped he couldn't taste Philip on me. I went to take a step closer when his hands went to my waist, holding me still.

"I…we can't do this, Bella. You aren't thinking straight right now."

"I don't need to think." I got on my tippy-toes to kiss him again, but he jerked his head back.

"You most definitely need to think about this. There are irrevocable consequences. Your mind is not the right place to make a decision of this magnitude."

I dropped down so that I was flat on the floor again and took a step back from him. "So wait, that whole 'Don't think. Feel.' crap only applies when you're trying to get into my pants?"

"I…I've never just tried to get into your pants."

"Well, my pants beg to differ. Twice."

"I've had to live with the consequences of that everyday. I've lost you as a patient, and more importantly, a friend because of the actions that I chose."

He stopped to run his hands through his hair, so I took the opportunity to continue for him. "And you regret every minute of it. You wish you had never done it. Blah. Blah. Blah. You've already told me this. You're no better than Philip. When its your need that you want meet, you'll spout off any bull shit line to make it happen."

"You know that's not true, Bella."

"Then kiss me, Edward. Do it for me. Let me feel something." I walked to him again and pulled his face down to mine, but this time when our lips touched, his were in a tight line.

"I can't," he whispered. "I can't do this to you. It's not fair."

And there it was. The last shovel I needed to finish my hole.

"Get out," I spat.

"Please, let me explain," he begged.

"Get out," I said louder.

"Bella, I…"

My body was shaking and tears were forming and if he didn't get out of my house, I was going to force him out.

I steadied myself and looked him directly in the eyes. "Leave my fucking house and never come back."

He watched me for a moment before nodding and walking out. I didn't lock the door. I didn't turn off the light. I just floated my way through my room into my bathroom. The shower was still running and candles were lit on the edge of my tub and sink.

I shed my clothes quickly before crawling into the shower, immediately sinking down the ground and letting my head fall back. The steam billowing from the opening above the shower told me the water was hot and I could tell from the sound of the streams of water hitting the tile wall that it was on full blast. To me though, there was still nothing. But then again, I guess it's hard to feel the rain from six feet under ground.


Ok, I know this chapter might make me lose a few readers, but it has been planned since the beginning so I wasn't going to change it. The stuff that happens to Bella, unfortunetly happens to people everyday. I'm not trying to glorify it, I'm trying to show how she deals with it. Thank you again for all the people who have been so supportive, especially those who have told me their own personal Bella stories.