To Say Goodbye

Disclaimer: Boys aren't mine. Have no money, get no money.

A/N: based on an RL story but it's still generally original.

To Say Goodbye

When you know it's the end, what would you do? When you know this is goodbye, what would you do? If you could -would, what would you do to change things? Would you leave things as it was? Would you risk this memory for something that possibly could not be? Would you keep it to yourself as an unforgettable memory?

Fuji gazed at the tall figure in the distance. Even as he smiled, his heart ached, his body numb. Should he go to him or should he stay, Fuji wondered. Because this was his final chance, this was the last time he would see him in a very long time. Should he ruin the memory of three years of friendship for this selfishness?

The memories of the past three years flashed in his mind. All the laughter, all the tears, all the unspoken words passed between them… Could he risk losing all that? Fuji wanted him to remember him as a good memory, a good friend and company. He didn't want him to regret anything as he remembered him. Because above anything, Fuji wanted him to smile, to be happy even at the cost of his own happiness.

Quietly Fuji walked out of the classroom so that he wouldn't have to see him anymore. If this was going to end, he wanted it to end as quickly and painlessly as possible. To simply walk away from the past three years was rude, but he didn't think he could take anymore of this. Tears already stung his eyes and he didn't want to break down in front of him. He wanted him to be happy…

That classroom was empty. Fuji smiled bitterly as he recalled times when he would stand outside and talked to him or just watch him from the window. Did he realize how much those times meant to Fuji? Did he know how much Fuji valued their unspoken conversation, the gestures that spoke volumes to both of them? Would he value it as much as Fuji did?

Fuji was about to walk away when something caught his eyes. He entered the classroom and picked up the book on the table he was so familiar with. Tezuka Kunimitsu he read when he opened the first page of the book. Despite the fact that he would rather not see him anymore, Fuji quickly went to the place where he last saw Tezuka. Whatever was in this book, he knew Tezuka wouldn't want to loose it. Tezuka's happiness came before his. He couldn't care about feeling the stabbing in his chest again if that meant he could help Tezuka.

"Tezuka!" Fuji called out, waving at his captain. From the distance he could see those piercing brown eyes watched him and tears welled up in his eyes again. He held them back and smile. This would be the last time.

"Did you forget something? I found this on your table." Fuji said, handing the book to his captain. He watched silently as Tezuka frowned at the book and took it. Fuji's heart clenched when he felt Tezuka's fingers so close to his, nearly brushing but not quite. This would be the last time.

"Aa. Thank you." Tezuka said formally. His deep rich voice made Fuji trembled slightly. This was his chance. Should he say it? Could he risk everything for this moment? Fuji looked into Tezuka's hazel eyes, trying to read the emotion there. What would Tezuka say and feel if he spoke? Should he speak now?

Fate made the decision for him. A car stopped by the gate. "Shuusuke!" Yumiko called for him from inside the car.

Fuji glanced at her briefly and looked back at Tezuka. The captain was looking at him intently and it made things even more difficult for Fuji. Still, he forced a smile on his face even as his heart was crumbling. His chest tightened as he spoke. This was it. This was the time to say goodbye. "Well, goodbye, Tezuka."

Tezuka nodded quietly, answering Fuji's smile with his usual calm expression. Fuji knew he would break down soon so he turned away and walked towards the waiting car. He felt eyes on his back but dared not look back. Instead, he closed his eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat.

It's over. He had said goodbye.