Disclaimer: don't own it.
I started writing this a couple months ago after a hypnotist visited my university. It was so hilarious some of the things I could see our favorite Scrubs guys getting pulled into.
Pairings: JDCox, JordElliott, TurkCarla
"Vanna, what did I tell you about this?" Perry grumbled as he watched the man at his side grin sheepishly. Blue eyes staring into his own, the red haired man couldn't help the tingle of curiosity growing under his skin. Of course he wasn't going to show that on purpose. If the kid picked it up, than he knew they'd been together too long and that would just confirm what a girl he was.
"How about this lovely group right here?" The man on the stage smiled, his hand gesturing towards the table that Perry and JD occupied with their friends. Perry was the only one who did not want to go up. This 'not' was stated with a slow-mo head turn, eyes shutting in hopes of becoming invisible and a well earned elongation of the three letter word into an almost 30 letter word: na-haaw-haaw-haw-haawwwwwwwwt. His muttering was lost amongst the cheers shared between Turk and JD. Carla and Elliot just laughed as they helped each other out of the small booth. The girls smiled as they attempted to coax the man remaining at the table to join them on the stage. Perry watched as JD and Turk were jumping up and down on stage at the same time that Jordan looked as though she was about to turn around and head back to the table.
"Oh don't you dare try to get out of this." Carla snapped as she tugged on the large forearm that belonged to the rather bemused man. Carla jerked her head towards the stage, catching Elliot's attention as she tugged on the arm, trying to once again make the man budge.
"Sir, I hate to be rude, but I have a show I need to do. It'd be easier if you just gave into the beautiful woman tugging on you." The man on the stage smiled at the glare that was shot his way. "I can make it worth your while if you come up. Obviously you got yourself a gorgeous lady here." The man raised an eyebrow as the sound of Perry's laughter reached his ears. There was the sound of a chair scratching against the stage and possibly somebody trying to pull somebody back. The man was unsure, but when he looked towards the two men on stage-who he was sure were together- he saw the skinnier of the two clinging onto the more muscular one who looked as though he was going to possibly attack him.
"Baby, why does everybody think you're with Cox?" Turk murmured as Carla quickly and calmly climbed on to the stage, her arms wrapping around her husband's neck and head quickly. The suited man quickly shot an apologetic look towards the couple and the man that had finally been pushed onto the stage by the blonde woman.
"Well, now we have six wonderful participants." The man started as the group of friends took their seats on the offered chairs. Turk slid his arm around Carla's shoulders as he continued to glare daggers in Perry's direction. Perry simply rolled his eyes as he sat besides JD, the one person sitting in between him and strangling the surgeon on the spot. Jordan sat on the other side of Perry, with Elliot besides her, blonde bangs being blown out of her face as she waited for either the testosterone driven men to kill each other or for the suited man to get the show started.
"If this isn't entertaining, you are going to get it." Perry growled at JD who simply shrugged with a slight nod before they turned their attention to the man standing before them.
Calming music played in the background and JD couldn't help the tired feeling that swept through him. He had worked a very long shift that hadn't been very easy on him. Of course he wasn't going to let the fatigue get in the way of the fact that he had actually gotten to go out with his friends and the fact that they had been chosen to be part of the show was beyond belief.
"You guys' are going to be in a kind of zone where you're just barely aware of what's going on." Perry snorted and nudged JD's arm, but JD ignored the touch, knowing that the ignored comment would be thrown at him afterwards. "Please sit with your feet flat on the ground, palms on your laps, straight backs and close your eyes." JD watched as each of his friends did as they were told, he waited until Perry's eyes were shut before shutting his own and allowing a smug smile to play on his lips.
"Wipe the smile off, Sunny." Perry whispered from the side of his mouth, causing a disappointed sigh to escape the now frowning lips.
The man continued to walk across the stage, carefully looking at each of the participants, making sure they were in the right positions. His whispered words helped to relax the group as they listened from their seats.
A snap of his finger and Perry felt the weight of JD's head on his shoulder. He was trying to fight off the fatigue that had suddenly washed over him and the familiarity of JD's head on his shoulder wasn't helping. He could barely hear the laughter of the crowd but he still made a mental note to kill them if they were laughing at the fact that JD was sleeping on his shoulder. He smiled lightly as he heard the echoing sound of another snapping sound, the last thing he was aware of was the fruity smell of JD's hair products.
"Now, when they're in this state they won't be aware of what they are doing and when they awake," The Hypnotist motioned his assistants towards Carla and Jordan as he turned to face the audience. "They'll feel as though they got a full night's sleep." The man watched as the two women were quietly escorted to their seats. He knew they wouldn't work when they first got onto the stage. Their minds weren't open to it, which surprised him that the older man had actually fallen into the trance. He made a mental note to see how much fun he could have with him.
"So, you didn't fall into that ever relaxing sleep, chica?" Jordan chided as she took her seat in the booth, eyes never leaving the five people on stage. Carla shrugged, not sure she was all too surprised that the trance hadn't worked on her, but she wasn't surprised that Jordan was unaffected. Maybe Perry's statements of her being a spawn of Satan had been true.
"Can you believe Perry's still up there?" Jordan shook her head as she leaned back, a small smile playing on her lips.
"Not really. I think he was more excited when Jack got into the whole magician phase than DJ or the kids." Carla sniggered at the front of bemusement Perry had shown the entire time JD had played around with Jack's magic set. Her eyes settled on the man in the center chair, his face nuzzled into the black mass of hair resting on his shoulder. She couldn't help the smile that crossed her lips as she moved her eyes towards her husband. He was slumped over in his chair, his back moving slowly with the sleep he was in. On the other side of Perry sat Elliot, who was blowing the bangs out of her face even though her head was tilted forwards and all of her hair was covering her face.
"I should have had her tie her hair back before she got up there." Jordan muttered as she saw the strands of hair fall slowly back into place. Both women's eyes fell on the man orchestrating the night, ready to see what he was going to have the friends do. He said something before returning to the microphone and the four friends sat up, eyes still shut.
"Now, I know that all of you love cars. I mean, who doesn't love to drive a car, especially by the ocean. But the best part is that you get to test drive the new Lambourgini on the 1. Can't you smell the new car smell, the smell of the interior, so fresh, so clean." Carla laughed as she saw the childish grin plaster itself across Turk's face. "Why don't you just climb on in the driver's seat and slip that seat belt on." Perry settled back in his chair, his right hand pulling an unseen strap over his chest, before his right foot tilted back on its heel as though it rested on the brake.
Elliot pulled her longish hair away from her eyes as she double checked the belt. She smiled to herself as she gripped the steering wheel. The grin widened as the Hypnotist told the group to turn the car on. Her hand jerked the keys in the ignition, her foot quickly moving to accelerate the car.
Jordan swore that she could see the wind blowing in Elliot's hair as the woman sat on the stage miming driving full speed down the windy roads.
"Honestly, I haven't seen any of you actually enjoying this car ride." The averaged height man smirked as he glanced at the audience before turning back to the volunteers. "Just reach over. Reach over and turn on that radio. There's a twelve speaker system in there for a reason. Let the beats roll over you."
Turk smirked as his head started to bob to the music. Elliot started to move her mouth as though she were singing the lyrics to some song. While JD reached over to turn on his radio, only to have Perry slap his hand. He shook his head, his gaze never leaving what would be the road. The Hypnotist quickly stepped forward to catch the words that came from the red head's mouth.
"What did I tell you about touching the radio, Newbie? My car, my rules." The audience erupted into a fit of laughter. JD's smile stayed in place as he shrugged off Perry's comment. Reaching forwards to attempt the station once more, his hand was batted away once again.
"Stop reaching into my car, Perry!" JD hissed, only to have his shoulder smacked. The Hypnotist smirked at the audience, shaking his head slowly.
"Is it just me or are they an old married couple? Sleep." The man snapped his fingers and four heads fell forwards, bodies limp. Jordan and Carla burst into laughter at the comment. Carla forcing herself to swallow the drink in her mouth before spat it over the table. Jordan gasped for air, leaning closer to Carla so nobody else could hear her.
"Get your phone out; there's gotta be a few good blackmails we can get out of this." Carla smirked as she rummaged through her purse and pulled out her phone.
"Could you imagine how red those two would have been if they'd heard that comment?" Jordan shook her head as she placed her beer back on the table.
"Oh no, Chica, it would definitely be how dead would that hypnosis guy be if he said that to Perry. Per-bear adores his wittle DJ, but for some sad reason he still hates the idea of being gay. Or at least other people knowing."
"Now when you wake up you're going to realize that you're at a beach contest for the best beach body and you know you look good." Perry and Turk grinned as they nodded their heads in full agreement. "They're agreeing, this is great!" He coughed. "When I count to five, you're going to do your best pose for the judges. Remember when I count to five you're going to do your do your best pose, trying to win the best beach body contest. Strike your best pose when I count to five." A breath was taken before the man rolled his shoulders backwards.
The four heads popped up as the bodies they belonged to stood up quickly. Smiles crossed all four faces as they struck poses. Elliot placed a finger to her lips as she bent over to pick something off the floor and shook her butt a little. Carla reached over to hold Jordan back from clawing out the eyes of the 'Cat calling dick heads that are about to be dickless if they keep eyeing her stick.' As Jordan so nicely growled.
Turk flexed his arms as he approached the center stage, his face reflecting a very confident man. Carla smirked as she stared at the man, but was quickly held back by Jordan as some girl howled out to him. The girl howling didn't bother her, it was the fact that he winked when she howled that made Carla want to show what growing up in the Bronx could teach you.
Perry stood in his spot, flexing his arms to show off his defined 'ceps. While JD had placed his fists together and looked as though he was constipated as he tried to show off the little chest he had compared to the two other men.
The Hypnotist approached Elliot and smiled as she moved her pose to look over her shoulder, biting her finger. "Why do you think you should win?"
"Look at this tush!" The audience applauded in agreement, while Jordan glowered from the booth.
"Why do you think you should win, sir?" Perry grinned the grin that an Egotist would grin when they were answering a question they felt the world should already know.
"Because you just can't keep your eyes off of this." The audience once again burst into laughter; both Jordan and Carla trying to not laugh as they got ready to record JD's response.
"Why do you think your should win, son?" JD simply glanced up with a dreamy grin.
"Did you see those awesome aeriolas he's sporting?" JD shook his head and did a little turn so he could flex from the side for the audience. "Damn, I mean…I've got everything going here, look at this ass!" The hypnotist nodded as he slowly backed away from JD, the audience still loud with the sounds of their amusement.
"And you sir?" Turk glanced at the man with a smirk.
"Don't mess with the Warrior!"
"What is up with those guys? And who started the body show without me?" Todd asked as he slid in the booth next to Carla. The Janitor, Doug and Ted took a seat on the other side of Jordan.
"Todd?" Carla asked as she eyed the man sitting next to her. He smiled back at her, giving her the once over as a grin came to his face.
"The Todd appreciates all bodies, even if they've given birth." Carla glared at the man looking at her chest. "Baby boob five?" He asked casually as he raised his hand for Carla. Rolling her eyes, the Dominican woman leaned forward as though to give into the man's compliment. Todd backed up a little at the dark look in the woman's eyes. Glancing at the group of confused people behind Carla, Todd forced his saliva to go down his suddenly parched throat.
"What was that, Todd?" Carla grinned. "I don't think you could handle all this, especially when my husband is over there being the sexiest beach bod man." Todd nodded quickly as he slowly gave the woman some space.
"The Todd believes in love, not war." Grinning shyly, the Todd raised a hand and smiled at Carla. "Drunken mistake high five?" Carla nodded and gave the man his high five before returning her eyes to the stage.
"Jordan, what?" Carla stuttered as she saw her husband and his friends holding their shoes to their ears as though there was something coming out of them. As Perry sat back and looked as though he were staring off into space. The Hypnotist approached him.
"How are you today, sir?" Perry shrugged as he folded his arms over his chest. "What do you do for a living?" Perry chuckled and the Hypnotist smiled.
"I'm a Doctor." The Hypnotist fanned himself with his hand as he glanced at the audience.
"Well, we have a hero, don't we? So, doctor, do you have a name?"
"Well, what's your name?"
"Par-ree." Perry stated matter of factly as the audience once again started to laugh. He sounded as though he had a wad of cotton stuck in his mouth or a numb shot. The best part was, he didn't hear the words that had come from him.
The Hypnotist smiled, leaning his microphone over to the side where JD was moving his body to some unheard beat in his chair. He ran his hands up and down his chest as he mouthed something, but the audience couldn't hear the words, until the microphone was by his face.
"Diirty baby, see these shackles I'm your slaaaave, I'll let you whip me if I miss behaaaaaave. It's just that noooooooo one makes me feel this waaaaaaay." JD continued to sing along to the song as the microphone was pulled away from him. The Hypnotist quickly moved towards Elliot as Janitor nodded in approval.
"Jumpsuit, what you nodding bout?" Jordan hissed, which made the Janitor turn to look at her with a smile.
"Oh, Scooter's going to have a new tone for his beeper. And that song gave me a few new ideas to torture him with." Pausing, the Janitor sized up the man sitting besides JD. "Or, I'll just screw with his beeper and avoid getting the beating of the century from angry doctor."
"That's the way uh huh uh huh I like it, uh huh uh huh." Jordan looked back at the blonde on the stage. For a moment she tried to hide the smile that played on her lips by shaking her head in embarrassment, but decided that the action was stopping her from watching the show properly.
"No one wants to be defeated showin' how funky strong is your fight it doesn't matter who's wrong or right just beat it, beat it." Carla bit her bottom lip as Turk moved his free hand in the movements he always would when singing a song by Michael Jackson. The hypnotist grinned and snapped his fingers.
"Sleep." He ordered causing the group to drop their shoes at their sides. The hypnotist motioned for an assistant to hand him something as he approached Turk.
Carla watched as an apple was thrown towards the man standing beside her husband. He held the apple out so the audience could determine what it was before resting his other hand on Turk's shoulder.
"When you wake up, only the person who's shoulder I'm touching, will believe that he is the ambassador for the fruit kingdom. Once again, only the person who's shoulder I'm touching." He moved towards JD and shook his head as he took in the way that the dark haired man had rested his head comfortably on the man's shoulder next to him. He turned to the audience making an over dramatic sigh and shook his head before going to Elliot. He grinned as he placed his hand on her shoulder.
"I think we'll let that skinny one get some more sleep." He looked down at Elliot before turning towards the audience again. "When I count to five the person who's shoulder I'm tapping will awaken to realize that their butt is missing."
Jordan and Carla started laughing immediately at the assignment given to Elliot. They exchanged a look with each other before the others at the table moved to cover their ears. The hypnotist glanced at them cautiously before moving back to JD and tapping his shoulder.
"You are a cheerleader for your place of employment, but you continue to forget what exactly is your mascot do to hunger pains." Once again the hypnotist furrowed his brows as the two ladies who he'd dismissed earlier started to laugh at his comment. The Latina lady seemed to be trying to wipe away the tears that had formed from laughing so hard. He sighed and snapped his fingers.
"5." He started to approach the front of the stage but stopped when Elliot jumped up and ran towards him, her hands groping her butt as if she couldn't find them. She grabbed his arm and the look of pure frustration that was on her face caused the hypnotist to chuckle before offering her the mic.
"Have you seen them?"
"Seen what?" Elliot turned around as though she was trying to get a good look at her butt, but continued to move in a circle.
"My butt." Elliot stopped and looked the hypnotist. She blew the bangs out of her face and pouted. "Frick! I need to find my ass." She moved towards Perry and started to engage him in questions, but he only looked at her like she was crazy. The hypnotist moved towards Turk who was sitting calmly in his seat, the apple held to his ear. Nodding occasionally, Turk looked to be murmuring replies to the fruit.
"Sir, is that apple talking to you?" The hypnotist held the mic out to Turk who nodded. "What is he saying to you?" Turk sighed and shook his head. "Did I say something wrong?" Turk nodded and the hypnotist offered the mic again.
"She." Turk stated matter of factly. "See this is what you humans don't understand. You can't tell the difference between the fruits all you see is apples or oranges or pears or grapes. They are living, breathing creatures too!" Turk glared at the hypnotist, but nodded as the apple seemed to be saying something to him again.
"I'm sorry, ma'am. Does she have a name?" Turk nodded as he leaned towards the mic.
"Carla." Jordan looked over at the smiling expression on the woman sitting next to her.
"Can you tell 'Carla' that I'm sorry?" Turk shook his head.
"Carla doesn't accept apologizes. She says you remind her of the broccoli and they aren't good."
"Ok, well, we have an orange here who would like your help." Turk grabbed the orange that was thrown towards him. He sighed in relief as he saw that the fruit was unharmed. "Do you know him?"
"Yeah, this is Johnny. He says not to worry because Carla is always mad at everybody for one thing or another." Carla pursed her lips as she leaned back in her chair. Jordan smirked as she listened to the Spanish words flow out of her mouth, knowing that Turk was going to get it after the show.
"Well, why don't you take a quick nap." The hypnotist snapped his finger in Turk's ear, and the man fell forwards so his chest rested on his lap, the fruit rolling at his feet.
The hypnotist moved to JD and smiled as he saw the man staring at the ground with a serious expression on his face. "Do you need some help?" JD looked up and nodded as a faint blush rose to his cheeks.
"I-I-I'm supposed to be doing something." JD looks at the audience before furrowing his brow and looking back at the hypnotist. "Do you have anything to eat? I'm sure if I ate something it'd come back." The hypnotist smirked and shrugged as he looked towards Turk's sleeping form. JD grinned and walked over, picking up the apple at his friend's feet. He polished it on his shirt before taking a bite out of it.
"5." The hypnotist snapped his fingers and Turk sat back up. His eyes widened as he reached to grab the orange from the ground. He looked around worriedly for the apple. The sound of JD taking another bite of the apple, caused Turk to let out a horrified scream. JD spun around in shock as Turk leaped forwards to grab the apple and knocking JD to the ground in the process. Elliot ran towards them with a worried expression as Turk attempted to give the apple CPR.
"Have either of you seen my butt?" Turk looked up at her and shook his head as JD sat there with an apologetic look.
"Carla! Don't die! I'll save you, Carla! Is there a doctor here?!" Turk looked around frantically as he moved to give the fruit a rescue breath. Perry moved towards the small group with a grin on his face, fists placed triumphantly on his hips as he puffed his chest out.
"I'm a doctor." Perry proclaimed as he took a superman like pose. Turk exhaled before moving to the side to let Perry work on 'Carla'. The doctor moved to listen for any signs of life and shook his head. He stood on his feet, the apple in his hand as he looked back at Turk. "I'm sorry, there's nothing we could have done." Turk hung his head in shame, bringing the orange to his cheek and nuzzling it as he whimpered quietly.
The sound of an apple being bit into went unnoticed by all but Turk.
The audience gasped in shock as Turk released a battle cry before pouncing on the back of the older doctor. "MURDERER!" He cried as he attempted to pull the red curls that covered the other man's head, only to have the hypnotist snap his fingers loudly.
"Sleep!" He cried, all four people crumbled to the ground. He looked at the audience and chuckled. "Well, that's a new one. Never had that happen before, I promise that they did not cause any real harm." He eyed the group. Turk was lying on Perry's back, fisting the curls on the top of his head, while Perry held the apple in his hand. A few steps away Elliot had fallen across JD. His face placed perfectly between her breasts.
"When I snap my fingers three times you will all awake as though you have been in a deep sleep. You will not remember anything that has happened in the past two hours." He snapped his fingers three times and watched as the people started to move slowly.
"Elliot?" JD was the first to speak as he attempted to push his friend off of his face. Elliot yelped as she jumped to her feet, her voice at its highest octave as she apologized continuously to the man she'd been on top of, her arms thrown over her chest.
"Thank you, Ladies and Gentlemen, you've been a great crowd. Drive safe tonight!" The audience started to cheer as the hypnotist made his way out of the building. JD and Elliot moved to help Turk and Perry up before they killed each other.
"Why was he on me, Newbie?" JD shrugged as he helped Perry to his feet. The older man slid his arm around JD's shoulders before moving to leave the stage. Elliot helped Turk to his feet and they followed their friends to their partners waiting at the table.
"Baby, I have a headache. Like the ones where I have a sleep hang over." He held his head in his hands as he leaned against the table, his wife moving to rub circles in his back.
"She-devil, what are you smirking at?" Jordan shrugged as she slipped her arm around Elliot's waist.
"Let's go. I think this place wound up being a horrible idea." JD frowned as Perry fixed him with a look at Jordan's comment.
The three couples left the building and made their way to their cars, ignoring the cat calls that the Todd made from his seat in the Janitor's van. JD and Turk moved to share a hug before saying good bye to Elliot and Jordan. JD hugged Carla as Turk and Perry shook hands. Elliot smiled groggily as she leaned her head on Jordan's shoulder.
"Next time, I pick our group date activity." Elliot declared as she glared at JD. Perry shrugged his shoulder and waved as he pulled JD towards the porche. Elliot sighed as she climbed into the passenger seat of Jordan's car. She could see Turk and Carla pull out in their mini. As Jordan pulled up to the motionless porche, Elliot rolled down her window. They leaned forward and glanced in to find JD resting his head on Perry's shoulder, his hand massaging the scalp under the curls as Perry breathed slowly, his own hand poised to start the ignition.
"You boys better get home it's past your curfew. Don't want to bail you out of county." Jordan teased. JD grinned at Elliot before leaning over to roll down Perry's window.
"If I do this I get to put on my radio station." Elliot and Jordan exchanged a look before bursting into laughter and driving off.
Perry leaned over and brushed his lips to JD's forehead before starting the car and allowing the younger doctor to choose the station. They both knew they needed some sleep after this random night. Perry was disappointed that the hypnotist had be a fluke though; after all he had been promised that he'd awaken as though he'd gotten a full night's sleep and he felt as though he had a sleep hangover.
I talked to some people after the show and they told me that they felt like they'd over slept, so I thought that it would only be fare for the group to have sleep hangovers. Gives Perry a reason to tease JD. :) I hope you guys enjoyed