A/N: This is because I HATE HATE HATE Alicia Fox/Victoria Crawford…And because I blame her for Edge losing at the Great American Bash…And for the little myspace rampage that Killa went on earlier…It was truly hilarious. Hey, Killa, should I say that this is based on a true story?
In kayfabe. (And I swear to Edge, if someone says "PLEASE UPDATE SOON" when it says fucking ONE SHOT in the summary and COMPLETE under the story summary, I'm going to snap.)
"Haven't I told you a million times already, woman? I don't like you!" Edge bellowed to Alicia Fox. Since he had just lost to Triple H because of her, he was trying to get away from her. She just kept following him like a lost puppy.
"But Edgiepie…You left Vickie for me," Alicia whined, grabbing Edge's arm.
"No, I didn't. When I'm hungry, I go fishing, and you were the only fish in the pond I was in, if you get what I'm saying," Edge explained harshly. He really just wanted her to go away.
"But I thought you liked me…"
"No, I didn't. You know what? I don't even blame Triple H for ruining my short marriage with Vickie. I blame you for being a little slut," Edge growled. He was about two seconds from picking the petite implanted girl and throwing her across the room.
"But what you said to me…"
"Men lie, Alicia! And I'm done lying to you, considering that you don't even believe the truth. But maybe if I did lie, you wouldn't believe those and get out of my gorgeous hair. And do you want to know why I really don't like you right now?"
"When I was trying to spear your slutty ass, you moved! I ended up hitting my wife! I thank you for trying to give me the assist, but I'm way too talented to have to use your cheating ways," Edge muttered.
"You cheat all the time," Alicia stated.
"That's because I can! I only cheat with people that are useful. You, my dear, are not useful."
"But you cheated on Vickie with me," Alicia countered, trying to get Edge to change his mind.
"I was using the word 'cheat' in a different context. Oops, I said 'context.' Was that too big of a word for you? I don't think they use that word in the wedding planning industry," Edge spat, nearly knocking down the door of the locker room. He entered his locker room and tried to slam the door behind him so he could get some privacy, but Alicia caught the door and followed in after him. "DO YOU NOT GO AWAY?" Edge screamed, pointing to the door. When Alicia didn't leave, Edge opened up his laptop and turned it on. "If you don't go away, I'm going to make you go away."
"How can you do that?" Alicia innocently asked, giving Edge the puppy dog eyes to try to persuade him to let her stay.
"Just watch," Edge said with a head bobble and an evil grin.
He logged onto his Myspace page.
"Myspace?" Alicia wondered out loud.
"Oh yeah. You know how you're obsessed with it like a fourteen year old girl?"
"I'm not fourteen."
"Shut up! Anyways, your lovely default picture totally violates the terms of service. See? I'm on your profile now."
"You're my number one friend!" Alicia giggled.
"That's fabulous!" Edge squealed sarcastically. "I'm about to report your picture for nudity!"
Alicia's jaw dropped. "You can't!" she pleaded.
"Oh, I can."