My first all human fan fic. I hope you like it. The character are slightly OOC but still. I liked it.

Credit where credit's due: UnoriginalScreename gave me the idea for this story from reading her story 'better than fiction'. You should read it too!

Disclaimer: I don't own so many things it's not even funny. But I do own the twilight series of books. I purchased them fair and square from books a million. Sadly I only own the books not the story or the things that come from owning the story like money, screaming throngs fans, rights to Edward, and last but not least bragging rights.

Chapter 1

I was sitting in the living room watching T.V. while Alice scurried around the apartment tidying up areas that were already tidy. We both were hanging out in between classes. Alice and I have lived together for 2 years, since freshman year, and I've enjoyed every minute of it. She's been the perfect roommate and friend. Even though she's a bit of a shopping addict, which I can't stand, she's still the best friend a girl can have. She has an infectious attitude that you can't help but cheer up when you're around her.

"When's your brother coming into town with his girlfriend?" I asked Alice. She seemed extremely preoccupied snooping in my closet.

"Two days." She replied inattentively. "When's the last time we went shopping."

"Last week and I've yet to wear what you bought me then so no need for a shopping trip anytime soon." I told her praying that would save me from yet another dreaded trip to the mall.

"Well I think we need to get you a few more things. Maybe more every day type thing instead of going out stuff, since you very rarely go out and of course some new lingerie to make you feel sexy." She shimmied a little at the word sexy. Nope, no such luck, damn.

"We went out last weekend!" I told her defensively.

"Yes, we did, but that was the first time in 4 months and you told the cute boy you were a lesbian. (Again homage must be paid to UnoriginalScreename)

"Well he was giving me the creeps with his roaming clammy hands and his ridiculous pick-up lines."

"What kind of pick up lines?" She inquired turning her full attention to me and raising her perfectly arched eye brow.

"'Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?' , 'You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room' and 'I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?' All of these within a 2 minute period."

"Damn that is kind of pathetic, never mind my comment he deserved the lesbian line." She giggled returning her attention to my over stuffed closet.

"I know, right! That is why I don't go out 'cause all I ever seem to find are the dumb, clueless and hopeless ones on campus. I'm giving up on men."

"Tell me you're not turning lesbian on me. Don't get me wrong if that's truly what you want then I'll be a good friend and set you up with that really pretty blonde in my econ class but it would take me a while to get use to it."

"No Ali I like the male form far too much to give it up. Dresden dolls said it best though. I want a coin operated boy. One that does and says exactly what I want or need."

"You make it sound like you want a male sex toy doll!"

"Exactly that's what I want; a boy that can hold a conversation and be a dynamo in bed. Is that too much to ask? So far it's either one or the other. I guess I'll just have to date two men to get both needs met." Lately I wouldn't mind if good sex was the only thing I was getting. It's been a while but I can't help it, I have standards.

"I'm so glad I have Jazzy." Alice's eyes glazed as she thought about him.

"Oh rub it in why don't you." I said teasingly throwing a pillow at her. With that we both broke out in giggles.

"Ok I'm off to class. Don't you have one you're supposed to be heading to?" Alice asked.

"Crap!" I hauled ass hoping to make it on time. If I'm late again Mrs. Jensen is going to kill me.

"Ali calm down it's just your brother. I don't think he's going to reprimand you if the apartment's not spotless and if he does he's anal retentive and I will not be held responsible for joking on him." I told her holding her hands to stop her from cleaning the same spot on the coffee table yet again.

"I know it's just this is the first time he's come here and I want to make a good impression on his girlfriend. I'm also worried he won't like Jasper when he meets him."

"The house is impeccable thanks to you and don't worry everyone loves Jasper, your brother will be no exception."

"I hope you're—" She was interrupted by the door bell and an obnoxious voice whining about something. Alice answered the door and a beautiful guy walked in smiling a breath taking smile and wrapping her into a hug, swinging her around.

"Alice I missed you!" He declared setting her back onto her feet. He looked over to me and all I could do was smile. His eye's had me entranced.

"Hi. I'm Edward, Alice's older brother." His mellifluous voice made me shudder. He stuck his hand out for me to shake. I took his hand gingerly and shook it lightly.

"Isabella—B--Bella." I replied sounding like I was mentally handicapped. Ahem! The irritating voice behind the door chimed.

"Oh ,Alice, Bella this is Tanya." He pulled a strawberry blonde into the living room. She was beautiful. They looked perfect together.

"Hi!" Alice said going in for a hug from Tanya. Tanya sneered, held up her hands and backed away a little to stop her. Wow that was rude. It's just Alice's thing to hug people. This girl couldn't have put up with one little hug? Alice's face fell a little but she tried to recover.

"I'm his sister." She said pointing to Edward smiling.

"Duh." Tanya replied offensively. Alice's smile faded away completely. Ok that's it! Who does this chick think she is to talk to her that way? I walked over to Tanya taking all the strength I had not to deck her. I reached my hand out to shake hers. She took it reluctantly.

"That makes me Bella and you a bitch." I said curtly with a smirk before releasing her hand and walking out the door. I heard her scoff before I was 3 feet from her. I decided heading to the coffee house to calm down would be the best thing for all of us. I can't stand her already and they are supposed to be staying here for a week.

I came back to the house a few hours later hoping that Tanya was out for the moment. I still can't believe she treated Ali like that and worse than that Edward didn't chastise her for it. What a git! Alice was sitting alone in the living room hugging a pillow in her lap staring blankly into space.

"Alice, are you ok?" I questioned sitting on the couch beside her. She looked over pitifully.

"I'm fine." Her voice cracked and her eyes started to water.

"You don't look fine to me. What else happened? I'm sorry for my behavior towards Tanya but she was being rude to you and I just couldn't put up with it." She let go of the pillow and pulled me into a hug.

"No Bella! Don't apologize. She was a bitch and she continued to be one."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Thanks for reading. Please review. Flames are welcomed. Either way i'm going to keep writing till I get writers block but the more you review the quick I will post.