Disclaimer: Batman is MINE

Disclaimer: Batman is MINE! MIIIINE!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!

(DC Comics sics villains on author)

AHH!! Okay, okay Batman belongs to DC!! It's not mine, I surrender!!

(Runs from Penguin, Joker, Catwoman, and every other rogue in the Batverse)

Jonathan Crane had been thrown into Arkham Asylum more times than he could count. He knew virtually every inch of the place. (Yes, even the women's bathroom, but he'd rather not go into details).

For example, he knew where each Gotham villain was kept and what they were doing at every hour.

Poison Ivy, whose cell was across from his, was watering her small plant the guards allowed her to keep. The Joker was to his left and was currently throwing darts at a Batman picture. Harley Quinn was further right, dreaming about her and her Puddin'. (Why Joker tolerated this nickname, nobody really knew). Finally, Jervis Tech, or the Mad Hatter, who had the cell to his right, would be mumbling about "Alice."

Crane was interrupted from his thoughts as a scream pierced the air. The source of the noise was a door down the hall and to the left. Behind that door was a room he knew all too well. Shock therapy, was supposed to "help" patients at Arkham, but he knew from personal experience it never did. The current patient seemed to agree with his thoughts, as the screams increased in volume.

'Poor bastard's brains are probably charcoal by now if those screams are anything to go by,' he thought.

Normally, he loved to listen to a victim's screams, but the only difference was he enjoyed screams of terror; these were screams of pain.

He inwardly flinched as the noise stopped all too quick. A few minutes later, two doctors passed the cell wheeling a body down the hall.

"Well, so much for the new guy!" the Joker laughed. "I guess his session was more shocking than he anticipated! I win that bet!"

Jonathan groaned. He and Joker had made a wager on how long the new inmate would last, and Joker said he wouldn't make it through the night. Jonathan had thought he would make it until sunrise at least, which he guessed was about ten minutes away; he had lost the bet by ten minutes. Wonderful.

"Well, Joker, you win. What do I have to do? I swear, if you make me confess my undying love to Ivy again, I will make your death slow and painful."

"Oh, lighten up, will you Scary? That was one of the funniest things I've ever seen, by the way." Joker cackled as Jonathan's face went beet red. "I didn't know which one of you wanted to die on the spot more, you or Poor Ivy!"

"Shut up, Joker. That was one of the most humiliating moments of my life! I still can't look her in the eye!

Joker laughed so hard he fell to the floor, clutching his stomach. When he got it out of his system, he sat up and wiped the tears from his face.

"Fine, I won't make you do that again."


"Poor Pamela suffered enough the first time."

Crane glared at Joker as the clown went off on another laughing fit.