Disclaimer: I have finals and a presentation tomorrow, I shouldn't be writing a story now when I don't even own the rights to it.

P.S. I'll update my stories at the end of the week when finals are done.

P.P.S. Why the heck am I writing a one shot when I have finals? The two research papers I wrote must have made me crazier than the Question on a sugar high. Caffeine will be my friend tonight.

Note: Thoughts in italic are Jason Blood's thoughts. Thoughts typed in bold and italic belong to Etrigan.

Monster in the Nugget House

There were many things about the modern world that Jason Blood both loved and hated. He loved the instant connectability via modern telecommunications systems and how he could travel in a day what would have once taken him months of sweaty toil.

On the other hand, both he and Etrigan hated mass commercialism wrapped in a cheap wrapping of recycled paper, grease smearing his fingers.

Are you going to eat it or stare at it Blood?

Jason ignored the demon as he unwrapped his hamburger. Truth be told, he actually did like McDonalds. Unfortunately, the things were fattening as hell. Jason had to watch his athletic figure. After all, he had a traitorous ex-girlfriend sorceress and her snot-nosed whelp of a son to chase after.

The immortal felt Etrigan growl suddenly in the back of his mind and the former knight looked up. A familiar man had just walked through the doors and was now standing at the McDonalds counter, pondering his order.

What in the five blazes of Hell is Vandal Savage doing here!?

Well, obviously he's hungry Etrigan.

Shut up Blood.


Nevertheless, Jason suppressed a shudder as the man in question turned around. The other immortal paused when he saw Jason covertly watching him. A smile graced Savage's face and both Jason and Etrigan inwardly cursed.

If there was one being that either truly feared on this earth, it was Vandal Savage. The man was…

"Is this seat taken?" Savage asked smoothly, indicating the seat across from Jason. The ancient Cro-Magnon innocently ignored the other empty tables in the area.

Jason scowled darkly at him.

"I'll take that as a yes," Savage smirked. He slid into the seat and dug into his large order of French fries.

Jason tried to ignore the man as he turned his attention back to his own meal. Unfortunately, Vandal Savage seemed intent on ruining his day.

"So…have you caught your old lady friend yet?" he asked slyly. Jason paused to glare briefly at him.

"I think you know the answer to that," he said flatly. Savage had the audacity to look perplexed.

"Jason, Jason…when was the last time we ran across each other?" He asked instead.

It was in Berlin. It was 1941. You were having a friendly beer with the Butcher of Europe.

Only a vermin can enjoy the company of another vermin.

"It was over sixty years ago," Jason muttered instead. Savage made a show of thinking, his dark eyes narrowed in false concentration. The older man suddenly snapped his fingers and leaned back in his chair, a cold smirk sending shivers down Jason's spine.

"Oh…that's right! It was during the war, wasn't it?"

"Quiet," Jason murmured, switching suddenly into Latin. "…unless you want people to pay attention to us."

"Trying to hide something Blood?" Vandal Savage asked in Old English. "Perhaps the monster inside of you?"

You're the monster Savage.

Jason bit into his hamburger. He tried to ignore how it suddenly tasted like dry ash.

Despite the fact they were both immortal, the two men didn't run into each other as often as one might think. It might also have something to do with the fact that Jason Blood, despite his often fearless nature, avoided the man whenever possible. Something about Savage caused even the demon inside of him to recoil.

Jason Blood was preoccupied with stopping Morgaine le Fey and righting the great wrong he once caused. However, this didn't stop him from giving a helping hand to others who needed it. He may be a disgraced knight, but he had once aspired to the notions of honor and chivalry while he was still a knight of the Round Table.

Vandal Savage, while often taking advantage of magic users to suit his own needs, never bothered with Morgaine le Fey. The cunning immortal knew that the woman couldn't be trusted. Unless they both found a way to work together that suited both their needs, Savage couldn't be bothered with the half-sister of Arthur Pendragon.

"So tell me Blood, have you found yourself another woman yet?"

Jason looked briefly into a pair of dark, calculating eyes.

"You're an intelligent man," Jason said quietly, a hint of steel beneath his voice. "What do you think?"

"I think you're cowardly fool," the other man said evenly.

A low growl escaped Jason's lips and he wasn't sure if it belonged to him or Etrigan.

"Is that so?" Jason asked coldly, sipping his Dr. Pepper. "I'm certainly a fool; that I will admit to."

Savage twirled a couple of French fries absentmindedly in the air. The former knight had the sudden image of a wolf playing with its prey.

"There are over 6.5 billion people on this planet. Experts say that it'll reach 9 billion by 2050. Unless I manage to cause some major catastrophe and reduce the population, odds seem to be in your favor," Savage stated mildly. He popped the fries into his mouth and chewed slowly.

"Surely…" he continued, flashing Jason a smirk, "There's a woman somewhere who can accept both you and that…beast…inside of you."

It was all Jason could do to ignore the angry growling reverberating inside of his skull.

Shut up Etrigan! I can't think!

That blood thirsty bastard, I'll kill him!

"Reduce the population?" Jason asked with forced civility. He was greeted with a savage smile.

"Population control," Vandal Savage answered honestly. "It's a scientific fact that the environment can only sustain a certain amount of life. It's my civic duty to protect the earth."

What had been left of Jason's appetite suddenly left him. However, he forced himself to finish off his fries despite the sick feeling in his stomach.

"Is that what you did in the war?" he asked hoarsely. "Population control?"

"Your memory of history seems to be failing you Blood," Savage replied smoothly. "I only advised Adolf; I didn't actually order anything."

"You're a fucking monster Savage."

"Ironic, coming from you Blood."


"I think it's time that I be going," Jason said calmly, rubbing at the migraine forming in his forehead. "I'm a very busy man after all."

"Ah yes, the never ending quest," Savage said mockingly. "Be sure to give Morgaine and her charming child my regards."

I'll be sure give you my regards someday Savage.

"I'll be sure to pass along the message," he said coolly. "While I'm at it, try not to kill off any politicians." Vandal Savage responded with a 'shocked' look.

"My dear Blood, are you somehow suggesting that I engage in assassinations?"

"Perhaps you'll forgive me then," Jason said sarcastically. "But the word is that you were the one behind the death of Julius Caesar."

"Is that so?" Savage asked honestly. "It's true, every word of it."

Jason Blood bit back a snarl. Conscious of the chattering people scattered throughout the restaurant, the former knight decided that letting Etrigan out to play wasn't perhaps the wisest choice at the moment.

Jason was also conscious of a pair of wolfish eyes studying him, wondering if he would give in to the demon inside of him.

"Until next time," Jason said curtly. He needed to leave quickly. The man was having a hard enough time restraining himself, let alone Etrigan. With a subtle nod to Savage, Jason turned to go.

"I believe that the polite custom between 'gentlemen' is to shake hands before departing," Savage said quietly. "Especially when an undetermined amount of time may pass before they meet again."

Unwilling to cause a scene, Jason forced himself to grasp the other man's hand tightly. The two men shook hands, giving every impression of two acquaintances who were saying goodbye.

"After I kill Morgaine, I'm coming after you," Jason warned quietly in his native tongue. Vandal Savage's eyes glinted with dark humor as he shook the other man's hand.

"I'll look forward to it. Do you want my cell phone number?" he asked sardonically.

Jason Blood bristled in response, but he chose not to reply. Instead, he merely picked up his hat and walked calmly out of the McDonalds. Hot, humid air and the loud honking of angry drivers hit the immortal like a sledgehammer, but Jason Blood relished it.

It was far preferable to the monster inside.