I hate feeling like this
I'm so tired of trying to fight this
I'm asleep and all I dream of
Is waking to You

''Ow!'' Blood spattered from Marik's nose as he stumbled backward over the rocky ground and fell, scratching his arms off the stones.
His first day at proper school and this happens. Initiation by the toughest pre-teen's in the small Egyptian school.

''Get up, blondey!'' A harsh voice demanded to snickers as he was dragged to his feet- still squinting in the bright sun he was so unused to.
He squinted out at his attackers as they forced him up into a corner of the schoolyard, ignored by the other children who played at the other ends of the yard and made the most of their lunch recess.

Marik recoiled, trying to hide away in the shadows in the building, his entire body shivering as blood pumped out of his nose, into his mouth; the taste making him retch emptily.

Fist after fists drove into his stomach, making Marik cry out and double over. When he tried to fight back someone just hit him harder, almost making the boy vomit.

''Help!'' He screamed, half-crying as he tried to wrench himself away from them, wondering why the other children would'nt help him, wondering why he was always so alone.
Why he always had to fend for himself

Only 12, and already so abandoned. Even Ishizu and Odeon.. he could'nt forget their faces as he had been dragged off into the ceremony only a few years ago. Where a hot knife had dug into his back.. carving and scarring...

The memories still branded into his mind and he retched again, lost in the blend of pain and confusion.
No, I cant think about that... no, is different now.. no

No-one helped him then, as a child he was ignored and alone when he needed help most. And then was when-

No! Marik tried to block it out but it was too late, a horrible rumbling sensation started in his chest, working up to his throat and into his limbs.

The other kids stepped back, dropping the boy who clutched his head in his hands, rocking back and forth as if in pain.

''What the hell is wrong with you, whelp!?'' The main bully demanded harshly, shrugging his shoulders and looking at his mates.
''Haaha... baby cries!! Took shorter than usual!'' Crowed one of the others, high-fiving the guy beside him.
''Gonna snivel there all day, baby?''

Marik screwed his eyes tightly closed and clamped his scraped hands over his ears, whimpering softly.

I'll never wake up without an overdose of You
I don't wanna live, I dont wanna breathe
'Les I feel you next to me
You take the pain I feel
Waking up to You never felt so real

No- dont listen to them! Please, no!

It was too late, the bubbling rage in his chest grew more painful as the rage slowly slipped around his mind, contorting it... changing it...

The boy fell silent and limp, huddled on the hard ground, all shivering and whimpering stopped abruptly.

The boys crowded around, a little weirded out.
''Um... his hair... it wasnt that long or spiky, like... three seconds ago..'' One of the bully pointed out doubtfully, jabbing a thumb as the body.

''Maybe we could call the nurse- that aint normal behaviour. Maybe we broke somethin'.'' Another voiced, a little creeped out by the sudden silence.

''Shut the hell up, Ahcmed, the wimp's fine.'' The leader snapped, turning back to look at Marik- and jumped backwards in supprise.

His prey no longer lay on the ground, but had moved so quickly not even the onlookers had seen him move.

Marik- or was it even the same boy? There was sonthing colder, taller about him. Even his hair and face was different- stood inches from the guy's nose, a twisted smirked on his sly face as his almost empty purple eyes sneered at the bully

''Boo.'' Malik whispered, before drawing back his fist and punching the boy in the throat.

The boy- Rahaj Amhissi flew backward and skidded along the ground painfully with the force of the dark Marik's punch and he lay, grasping his throat and wheezing and choking.

No! Marik tried to shout, but his mouth stayed shut up an unpredictable sneer.

The other boys converged in anger at the assault and as much as he tried to stop himself all Marik could do was watch as one by one his own fists-controlled by someone else- ferociously beat each one into the pavemet, their blood spattering on thier attackers fists.

No, HIS fists. Or were they? He could'nt tell anymore.
The dark anger was no longer taking control from within, it was out and delighting in every cry from help the boys he had all floored.

The other children in the yard had noticed and cheered on the young bullied boy as he drove back the menaces that had kept them all in fear for so long, but after a while it became apparant that Malik was not going to stop.

Stop, STOP! He'll die!! Marik sobbed, trying to pull his own fists away but he was numb.. so very numb.

He had let his dark out, it was all his fault.
Trapped inside his own mind with no sway over anything his yami did, he felt so alone and helpless.

Tell me that You will listen
You're touch is what i'm missing
And the more I hide I realize I'm slowly losing You

The boys lay dazed on the rough ground, blood drenching their faces as they muttered curses, too terrified to move.
''Who the hell... what the hell are you??'' One of them screamed, scrambling to his feet and backpedling, one hand holding his streaming nose.

I'm just Marik

His mouth would'nt say that.
The newly emerged Malik spun an odd-looking golden rod lazily in his hands, eyeing the boy with one eye like some sort of tasty cake he was pondering whether to eat.

''Me? I'm only your doom. No need to look so afraid.''

There was a flash of light and the boy fell backwards, a blank look in his eyes as a fly flew curiously into his open gaping mouth.

NOOOOOOOOOOO!! NO NOO!! Malik screamed and screamed as his mouth laughed cruelly, looking down at the boy.

Slowly, slowly he became more aware of his surroundings and he huddled in a ball, crying and crying in terror as the darkness receeed back into him.
He was Marik again.

Never did anything? Look at yourself, Whelp- he was beating you!
Now the inner voice was his yami. Looking up, Marik could make out the ghostly form of his darkness.

''He did'nt deserve that!!'' Marik shouted, making other people stare at the young boy talking to himself.

He looked down at the Millenium rod. ''How did... I dont remember bringing that to school...''

Malik shrugged in apathy. You're so ungrateful.
I brought it- packed it while you were asleep. You were stupid to leave it at home.

''Get away from me!!'' Marik got up and ran, stumbling and tripping over the boys who were being helped up by other kids and teachers.
''All I wanted to do was fit in!! You sent that boys soul away! Give it back!! I never wanted you!! Go away!!''

Malik still as ever, stood beside Marik. I saved you a lot of pain, idiot boy- I took your fall. The smirk was back again.

''Yeah, I know.. thanks.'' Broken, Marik had to say it.
''I just wish you did'nt exist.'' He muttered, looking on from a distance as the teachers blamed the boys for each others wounds and the comatose boy woke up slowly.

Something changed in the yami's voice. ''I know.''

I don't wanna sleep, I don't wanna dream
'Cause my dreams don't comfort me
The way You make me feel
Waking up to You never felt so real

And eight years later Marik still could'nt get it out of his head as he watched his Yami become nothing more than a floating eye atop a cruising blimp at the Battle City finals. And finally Malik was gone with an attack from Yugi Mouto's monsters, Malik was banished forever.

The eye slid to look in Marik's direction and his heart thumped painfully as he felt his mind catapult back into reality, away from his Yami's curse.

He felt Malik tear away from him and dissapear, along with their final gaze.
And still Malik left one last imprint. Goodbye, Onii-chan

Marik felt his stomach lurch as at last he was freed.

And for awhile it was great. As he parted ways with Yugi, he thanked the pharaoh, standing by the docks as the sun set.

A new chapter in his life, then why did it feel so pointless?

''Thank you, Pharoah, for saving me from myself.''
Ra, did he feel like a total prat saying those words. Not only was it corney in the afterthought, the guilt just came crawling back up his throat.

I got saved from myself, but who saved Malik?

The next few days was like this- his liberty became a crawling nightmare.
Every time he lay awake sweating he'd tell himself it was'nt his concern, Malik deserved everything he got.
Often times he'd talk to Ishizu, but left out the last thing Malik said..

Goodbye, Onii-chan.

Big brother. Or was it big sister? Ra knows his japaneese was'nt great.

It was either a touching goodbye or a jibe at his sexuality.
Either may, Marik could'nt get it out of his head.
And it was driving him crazy.

''Hey watch it!'' Marik walked straight into someone on the street and stumbled back as the person cursed at him. ''Sorry.'' He muttered, keeping his eyes down and staring at his feet as he quickly hurried by.

Months ago the obnoxious bastard he ran into would be souless and lying by the side of the road, at the very least. Now, the great leader of the rare hunters was a quivering mess.

His mind felt torn open and he could never breath properly. The comfortable weight of another presence inside his body- hated when it was there, was now gone, leaving Marik feeling exposed and once again, terribly alone.

I hate livin' without You
Dead wrong to ever doubt You
But my demons lay in waitin'
Tempting me away

''I was wrong, big sister.'' He confided to Ishizu one sleepless night as they both sat up with cups of coffee, chatting. ''I always felt alone- all those times I thought no-one was around...''

Ishizu smiled warmly. Finall,y the boy was starting to realise that his family had always loved him, and how important he was to both her and Odean.

''I was'nt alone...'' Marik continued heavily, staring at the ceiling.

That's right.'' She whispered, squeezing his hand.

''My yami was always there.''

Ishizu choked on her coffee, frozen in shock. ''Y-your yami??''
She blinked, wondering if it was a joke. But surely her little brother wouldnt joke about such a tender subject to him...

Marik nodded, gazing at the ceiling. ''Yep.''

''B-but, he was evil! He tried to hurt you!''

''I'm not so sure, Ishizu. Maybe he thought that was the right thing to do??''

Ishizu closed her eyes, massagng her throbbing temple's with the tips of her fingers.
''Marik, whatever bond you and that.. thing had, whatever fondess you may hold for him- its best to let it go.''

''He PROTECTED me, big sister! When everyone else had gone, he was the only one who stood by my side and helped me.''

Marik retored hotly, getting a little annoyed at his sister's lack of understanding.
''Okay, he was'nt without fault, but-''

''Was'nt WITHOUT FAULT?? He tried to plunge the world into immortal darkness, Marik!!''

''He also saved Odeon's LIFE, if you had forgotten.'' Marik stood up sharply, staring down at his sister with a hurt and furious look in his eyes. ''And mine.''

''But maybe that doesnt mean anything to you.'' He turned and walked quickly out of the room, slamming the front door behind him as he stormed out into the egyptian night.

Ishizu sat down wearily, tears stinging her eyes and wondered if it ever would be normal.

Marik kept walking till the anger wore off and found himself in a childrens park where he slunk down on one of the seats, head in hands as he fought the tears.

Dont CRY hikari-mine.. crying is for weaklings

Hikari sad?

Memories of Malik's voice pounded through Marik's head as the boy sat restlessly on the bench as thunderclouds rolled in from overhead.

''Stop it!!'' Marik growled, shaking his head and making an elderly woman walking by stare at him curiously. Malik was so close- Marik could almost FEEL him on the other side of a void. Or maybe it was his mind.. yami... Marik reached out with one failing hand into thin air as if somehow he could reach his other half.He leaned off the bench as the first fat raindrops hit his harm as the downpour started, soaking his skin.

He fell off the dench and unto the wet sand, his hand still streched forward as the rain beat down all around him. Malik...

''Shut your damn whimpers, hikari-mine.. I didnt come here for your to sob on me.''
Marik's eyes stayed shut and his body tensed. He felt cold, strong arms wrap around him in the sensation of a someone lifting him up, dragging him to a kneeling position as the rain washed the sand and dirt of his face.

''M-malik?'' He felt a body behind him, supporting him up as he leaned back, exhausted the torso into his Yami.
''If I open my eyes- will you be there?''

I dont want to live
I dont want to breathe
Less I feel you next to me

I'll never wake up without
an overdose
of you

There was a cold chuckle. ''Pathetic little hikari.'' Fingers brushed the wet hair out of his face.

Marik leant his head back, tilting his head towards the skies as the rain beat down and for the first time in months relaxed. ''What WOULD you do without me.''

''I'm fine without you- I just want you out of my head.'' Marik whispered in protest, not daring to open his eyes in case it was a dream.

''No, your not.'' Came the growl. ''You dont feel confident without me.. you let people push you around like the weakling you are.'' The growl came just beside his ear, sending shivers down Marik's back.

It felt so real.. but could it not be? He could feel the dull heartbeat behind him through the dry cloth of Malik's top.

''Im not confident because half my soul got ripped away!!'' Marik protested, but in the voice of a man who has already given up.
''I dont want to depend on you.''

''And yet... and yet..'' Was the only answer. Marik wanted to push away but he felt so weak, and just wanted to sit there in his yami's... DRY... arms..

''Wait- its raining.. you could'nt be..''

Marik's eyes snapped open, reality pounding in on his head. He was sitting alone in the park as the rain pounded down heavily to match his furiously beating heart.


You take the pain I feel.
Waking up to you never felt so real.