AN: Hiya, it's Evie again. This is my first shot at a lemon for EB, and I don't know if I'll get anything right so please be kind and bear witness to what insanity and sugar can do to a person's mind. (Mine in particular) The idea came to me while reading Twilight, NM and Eclipse all over again, and I wondered about the whole 'spontaneous combustion' thing, hence the title. I had to add a story into the whole lemon thing, so it might be long... So here we go!

He was driving me insane. He'd said nothing, absolutely nothing, about the honeymoon, and I was basically clueless to every other single thing that existed in my world right now. Alice said she'd handle the wedding, which bless her, she had, along with Esme and my mother. Who, by the way, had leapt into it with such gusto I was horrified.

Ugn. Wedding.

Despite the good thoughts that rang around with it... I still shuddered at the word. Yes, Edward, mine, for eternity... But a wedding. Ugn. I could see where my, infuriating, fiancé - ughn- was coming from, he wanted me to be bound to him in every human way before he changed me. And that part, the change, was the only thing I was actually looking forward to out of this whole mess.

Well, besides the honeymoon.

I still really found it hard to believe I was going to get married in a month from now. One month Two fortnights. Four or five weeks. Thirty something days. Oh. My. God.

The ring sat on my hand, frozen there really. I couldn't take it off. Edward's eyes locked on that spot on my left hand every time he saw me. And I knew it made him smug. That made me want to kick him. And break my foot in the process, but oh well. Small sacrifice. I looked down at it now, almost as if to drown myself in the diamonds.

It was pretty... No, more than pretty. It was downright gorgeous. I knew that if I hadn't been raised to shudder at the mere idea of marriage, I'd be flaunting it left, right, and centre. It was amazingly intricate, and incredibly stunning. I loved it. But at the same time, I loathed its very existence. Was it normal to be this torn about things?

Normal. I snickered. Since when have I ever been able to use that word since I met the Cullens? I was marrying a vampire in one month's time before he could sweep me off to some exotic location for our honeymoon, which we weren't even sure if it was going to work out like one, and then he was going to perform the coup-de-grace and change me into a vampire, what I was most excited about. What the hell about all that could be classified as normal?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I was going insane.

I sat on my bed, and let my mind run wild. I might as well, it was a perfect sunny day in Forks, and I had trapped myself inside. God I hated the sun. The one thing that prevented me from seeing Edward when I really wanted to see him, the sun. We couldn't go out in public lest his glittering scared the people, and Charlie didn't want me alone with him if he could help it. He took the news insanely well, hoping that Rene would kill me instead. But since that proved to be an empty threat- much to my horror and relief- he did nothing but grumble.

Was this nightmare ever going to end? I honestly was hoping to rush the last month, skip the wedding, and get down to my favourite parts. The honeymoon and my change. I looked down at myself, examining my arm listlessly. Fragile bones, soft and thin skin, useless muscle... I was a paper doll waiting to be torn to shreds.

But only one more month of this. Then I could trade my body for something better, something stronger, faster, and way more durable. And then I could be with Edward completely, with no more hindrances. I could be by his side as an equal at last.

If he could hear my thoughts I'd probably be in a lot of trouble... It was something that made me glad my brain had some sort of glitch in it. At least most of my thoughts which would invoke Edward's black anger were hidden from him.

I flopped down on my bed, glaring at the ceiling. Maybe if I glared at it long enough I'd burn a hole through it. That would be fun.

I let out my breath in a heavy sigh. I was going to kill myself by the end of the week if this good weather didn't break. Bring on the rain, at least then I could be with Edward outside, maybe even in our meadow...

I sighed again, regret hounding me. I couldn't change the weather, which was a pity, but I could daydream I guess. And I let my mind wander again.

For a second.


Oh I was going to get Charlie's gun and shoot myself in the head! I loved Alice, I really did, but my god that pixie had no idea how annoying she could be! The devil literally danced into my room, a bright smile over her paper white skin, golden eyes twinkling happily. She was dressed in some designer outfit that belonged on the runway, and either she knew how annoyed I was and was being a sadist, or she was too hyper to pay attention.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, I have a surprise for you!" She sang, bouncing up and down on the spot, no longer dancing.

Surprise? What surprise? Didn't she know by now that I really hated surprises? The frown made its way to my face, but I didn't care, she'd have seen it coming. "What surprise Alice?" There was absolutely no cheerfulness in my tone at all.

"Well c'mon." She was pouting, and she crossed her arms across her chest, folding herself to the floor and staring up at me sadly. Her lower lip trembled, and her eyebrows were furrowed together, it really was a heartbreaking expression. "You could at least pretend that you're interested."

But I wasn't, I whined to myself. But I sighed and swallowed my disappointment for her sake and pasted a smile onto my face. It wasn't as honest as I could have hoped, but it would have to do, it was the best I could manage. "Is that alright?"

"Not perfect." Alice grumbled, her expression falling for a moment, but she recovered so quickly I should have been astounded. I was so used to Alice being insanely hyper that it had no real affect on me anymore. Well, besides annoying me so much that I could shoot myself. "But it'll do." She started bouncing. "Are you going to come with me or not?"

"Will you explain to me what I'm running into first?" I hedged, still rather unsure. Alice was always well-intentioned, I'd learned that from her. But her surprises weren't always pleasant. For me anyway.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, that's why it's called a surprise." Alice placed her hands on her hips, expression scolding. Her tone sounded like a disappointed schoolteacher. "You're not supposed to know what the surprise is."

I tried. Shaking my head, I got up off my bed, knowing I was going to regret this. "Alright..." She squealed with delight and promptly raced out of my room. I rolled my eyes. I followed at my own slow pace, knowing she was downstairs already, probably informing Charlie of her kidnapping me.

She was already out the door, the open thing stood for that. I sighed. She wasn't very subtle when she was hyper, was she? I followed her outside, she was running laps around my truck, that was new. She couldn't honestly be that happy, could she?

I was holding in laughter by the time I reached her. Whatever was making her this happy must have been good. I hadn't seen her this happy since she had coerced me into letting her do the wedding. Well.. I guess I could try to be happy along with her...

"Your truck won't be fast enough, can I carry you?"

I blinked, staring at her like an idiot. All I heard out of that was the 'truck' and the 'you'. Shaking my head, I slowed her words down in my brain and listened to it again until I got everything she said. I groaned. Did she have to carry me? But she looked so excited, bouncing up and down so she literally was becoming a black and white blur. I just nodded.

She grinned broadly, flashing her perfect teeth at me before she swept me up into her arms. She took off without warning and I managed to hold my strangled scream of surprise down. Dammit I hated when they did that! I ducked my face into her shoulder so I wouldn't see the flashing landscape or I'd be sick.

She stopped at the meadow, and I blinked in alarm when I saw what was there. A large blanket was spread out across the grass, the sun shining down brightly on the display. There was actually a basket, one of the wooden ones with the handles, and that was when I realized the blanket was one of those checkered ones that you saw in the old television shows. It literally looked like a scene taken right out of the old black and white movies, where the couple or family was having a picnic. The only thing it was missing was a creek.

Alice set me down, steadying me when I nearly fell over. I could feel her bouncing again behind me, I could hear her smile. She whispered quickly into my ear, "Edward cooked all the food himself, it was his idea to take you out on an actual 'date' since you haven't had one with all the mayhem and what not. He's very old-fashioned like that. And a tip for the future, the ice-cream, definitely a good idea." And she was gone before I could turn around to ask what the hell she was going on about.

Ice cream? What?

I hesitantly walked forward to the centre of the meadow, looking at the display in front of me. Now that I was closer, I realized the blanket was actually quite huge, big enough for six people. I tentively sat down on the edge of it, glancing around nervously.

The meadow was perfect, as always. It was the summer now, and the flowers were all brightly in bloom, peppering the rolling green grass with stains of purples, oranges, whites, and yellows. It had been a nice week, so the grass was entirely dry, not normal for Forks. It was a perfect picture.

And then suddenly, it wasn't so perfect anymore. Edward had materialized at the end of the meadow, too distant for me to see his expression but he was there. That physique was unmistakable. And the rush of excitement that filled me tipped me off too. He was there for a second, and then he crossed the meadow to me in a blink of an eye.

I was struck breathless by the look of sheer delight that lit up his face, making his golden eyes bright and alive. He shot me that brilliant grin and it was like a hammer to my chest, I couldn't breathe. I could blush though, my cheeks flamed scarlet. That only added to his smile, and he was sitting beside me before drawing me tightly against him.

"Remind me to thank Alice later." He whispered into my hair, iron arms hugging me closer to his cold chest. He buried his face in my hair, breathing in my scent as he shifted me into his lap. "Ah... Bella..."

The way he said my name sent a shiver through me, and he reluctantly made to release me because he thought I was cold. I hid my disappointment, glancing around at the display. "Did you plan all this out?"

"With some help." Edward answered me sheepishly, flashing me that crooked smile that sent me reeling. He idly began to toy with my hair, his expression pensive. He asked me slowly, and he couldn't hide the hope in his voice, "Do you like it?"

"It looks really pretty." I offered, hoping that'd be enough for the moment, I was getting a bit sidetracked by the absent touches his other hand was making on my stomach.

Edward rolled his eyes, but the amusement was still there. "You haven't eaten yet. I do hope you've brought along your appetite Bella." He shifted a little, keeping me in his lap the whole time, and snatched the picnic basket. He set it in front of us, and opened it with a rather dramatic gesture.

I made to slip from his lap but he wasn't having that, he held me tightly there. I hid a laugh as he wrapped his arms around my waist, keeping my arms free to rummage around in the basket. There was a sandwich wrapped in clear plastic, a little container or what looked like fancy macaroni salad, a bottle of orange juice, an apple, and then a metal dish at the very bottom with ice littered all around it, plus a spoon.

My curiosity got the best of me, and I made to retrieve it to look inside, but Edward's hands clapped around my wrists and effectively stopped me. I pouted and turned to look at him, "What?"

"That's a surprise and if my memory serves, which it should, you aren't allowed to know what it is until I say so." Edward told me pleasantly, shooting me that crooked smile that made me forget my argument and comply. He released my wrists, and leaned back to watch me.

"You hungry?" I teased while unwrapping the sandwich, looking over at him. He rolled his eyes again and I couldn't hide a laugh. I took a bite of the bread, tasting the chicken, mayo and an assortment of veggies. It tasted good. I finished that off quickly before I dug into the salad.

I saw him watching me out of the corner of my eye, his expression both hopeful and a little worried. I tried not to giggle, knowing that cooking must have frustrated him considering how most chefs added or tossed ingredients based on taste. It gave me a little thrill knowing that finally he had found something he wasn't pro at.

I chased down my salad with the orange juice, now quite contentedly full. Everything had tasted excellent. I peeked at the mysterious dish that sat in the coldest part of the basket. I looked up at him hopefully, now quite eager to see his surprise.

He looked like he was containing laughter at my expression, reached down and fetched the dish himself, handing it to me. He handed me a plastic spoon next, nestled me closer into his chest and said in a grim voice, "You can open it now."

I stifled a laugh and opened the dish, only to stare in delight. It was ice cream. And from the looks of it, it was my favourite too, the three. Strawberry, chocolate, and vanilla.

"I didn't know which was your favourite, Esme suggested I just go and try all three." Edward confessed with a low oath, and I had to hide my laughter. That one must have frustrated him to no end. He knew if he had asked me out of the blue, I'd have grown suspicious. He put a lot of thought into this surprise.

I kissed him gently on the cheek, grinning broadly at him. "It's my favourite." He seemed honestly pleased by that, and I dug into the ice cream with gusto. Like always I took a side scoop, so I could all three flavours into the spoon. It was the best and in my opinion, the only way to eat it. The mix of flavours only made it all the better.

He watched me hastily try to finish off the treat, it was melting too quickly for me. And then when I was trying to get the last bit to my mouth, my hand slipped and a blot of strawberry ice-cream fell. It landed right on my chest, and it was making quick progress down into my shirt.

I gasped, hastily scrambling to find something to stop the sticky treat and then I didn't have to. Edward had been watching it with a puzzled expression and then suddenly his lips touched the little drop, and his tongue flicked out to catch the rest. I went very stiff, and my eyes had slid shut as the muscles in my stomach tightened.

He drew away painfully slowly, and I realized I'd been holding my breath. He stared up at me, and his eyes had suddenly turned hungry. I still didn't dare to breathe. He touched my cheek, feeling the heat from my blush. His fingertips just brushed like skin, before securing a wisp of my hair and tucking it behind my ear.

We stared at each other for a few long moments, neither of us spoke. I knew if I did, I'd ruin the moment. I stared at him, and my heart decided to race into overdrive as my imagination got away with me. I was almost happy that he couldn't read my mind now, if he could, he'd be shocked.

"Bella." He spoke my name softly, his voice as gentle as velvet but the hunger there, the sheer desire I saw in his face took my breath away.

Hadn't he offered to be waiting if I changed my mind? Would I give in now, when there was only a few days away till my wedding? My less than noble side was dancing the conga somewhere in my stomach, and my rational side was probably somewhere in there with her because I didn't have anything to go on. "E-Edward...?"

He drew away, his expression suddenly was distant. No, no, no, this wasn't what I wanted. Nothing but that. With both my shoulder devil and my angel happily screaming a mighty yes, there was no way I was going to turn him down. My hands closed around his wrist and he stopped all movement, staring down at my weak human hands before looking up into my eyes.

Nervously, he could probably feel my hands trembling, I moved his hand up to my stomach, setting it there. He stared at me, leaving his hand where I'd set it, and we said nothing for a long moment. He was judging my expression, the want in my face, in my body. He wasn't sure. I whispered shakily, wishing I could make my voice more firm, "You promised."

He had promised. And we both knew he wanted me as much as I wanted him. Though he'd always argue he wanted me more. If I hadn't stopped him before, told him I wanted to do it right, we would have done the deed right then and there. I wouldn't even go into detail about how that messed with my dreams. I said in a much smaller voice, hoping I wasn't going to be severely disappointed, "Please...?"

He took my hands this time in his, didn't make a sound, and led them to his shirt. He fixed my fingers around the hem, and raised his arms. Disbelief rocked me. Was he actually... My rational side stopped dancing long enough to give me a mighty kick in the behind, and I found some courage I'd hidden away. I decided if I was going to hell, I was gonna do it thoroughly, just like he was. I seized his shirt and slowly drew it up over his head, agonizingly revealing his perfectly chiselled chest inch by glorious inch.

I dropped his shirt after I had effectively removed it, staring like an idiot at his now bare torso. He nearly smiled, took my hands again and lifted them now. He wanted his turn. I literally turned to stone. His cold fingers stroked my skin lazily, like he was teasing me. He found the hem of my shirt, and lazily began to draw it up and over my head. He tossed my shirt away, and then his hands settled on my now bare sides, and he stared at me with a hungry expression.

Blood rushed to my face, and he smiled very warmly. His cold hands travelled up my sides again, thumbs brushing sensually against the fabric of my bra. My entire body was shivering, whether or not with anticipation or actual fright, I didn't know. This was new to me.

He kissed me, softly and gently, urging me to be the one to deepen it. And I did, opening my mouth to him instantly he took quick action to search me with his tongue. He broke when he knew I needed air, and I stifled a moan as his lips moved from my gasping mouth to my neck. His icy lips searched my hot pale skin, moving lazily but with purpose.

His hard body pushed against mine as I was bent backwards into the blanket, and I gasped at the unexpected contact. He moved on top of me, resting his body ever so gently to mine. We kissed again, and his left arm wound under me to hook around my waist, pulling me closer to his chest. The sheer ice that was his body sent shudders through me, and started a fire in the lowest pit of my being. And god it felt amazing.

He rolled over, and suddenly I was on top of him, straddling his body. I turned bright red, and he smirked up at me, eyes black fire now. His cold hands sat on my hips, holding me there. I was frozen, unsure. This was... So new... What was I supposed to do? Sure I'd seen a few... Risque movies, but any intelligence I had on sex was just gone.

He sensed my confusion, and I realized it was just as strange to him, though I bet he knew a lot more than I did anyway. He muttered to me, "I don't know what I'm doing either love... Go on instinct."

Instinct? Well it was better than nothing, why not? His hands still resting on my waist, I moved my body over his, sending a delicious shiver up my spine from the contact, and my back arched into it. He groaned quietly too, apparently enjoying it. I decided to repeat the motion, putting more emphasis on the contact now.

His eyes closed and he groaned again. He bucked upwards suddenly, body pushing into mine. I could feel him, through his pants and all, straining to touch me. God. My eyes screwed shut and my body started to move on its own, knowing what to do while my mind was at a loss, drowning in pleasure. My hips were moving again, in a slow and sensual rhythm that was new and yet very familiar to me.

His hips were moving too now, answering my motions with his own deep thrusting. His hands were guiding me to find the deepest touch, moving me against him while I responded to him. The fire was spreading through my blood, making me dizzy. And it sent a shudder through me, each touch sparked the deepest pleasure but it only added to the hunger I felt. It wasn't enough though it felt amazing, I wanted more. And I knew, in the most secret part of me, that it would never be enough.

"Bella." His voice was a whisper, saturated with pleasure and want, his eyes staring into mine. He begged me, his words falling from his lips like a litany, "Bella, I need you. Now."

I just nodded, my words had vanished, I didn't know he was still managing to speak. His hands were moving quickly, tearing my pants from me and leaving me in my underwear. Now my instincts made my hands fly up to cover myself, I felt outrageous!

Edward groaned softly again, and forced his eyes open. They were intensely soft now, and he gently pulled my hands away from me, exposing my body to his gaze. He propped himself up on his elbows, nose to nose with me now. My cheeks burned red, and I had to resist the urge to continue to hide. He whispered to me, lips nearly moving against mine while he spoke, "Don't hide yourself from me, love... I want to see every inch of you..."

"B-But..." I stammered, way too embarrassed to nearly force out words. It wasn't real fear that drowned out my sense, I couldn't make myself be scared even though I'd been warned to fear him. I wasn't beautiful, I was awkward. How in the world he could find me pretty was beyond me.

"No buts Bella." He whispered again, taking my face in his hands and kissing me gently. He made me forget, forget about being worried, about being embarrassed, scared and awkward... "You are beautiful. Shall I tell you how you are beautiful to me, so I may persuade you?"

"Yes." Proof, who didn't want proof? It helped that I could barely see straight let alone think properly.

"Very well then.." He whispered, and his lips moved from my lips to my neck, up and down before he decided to kiss my ear and murmur into it. "You're insanely brave..." As he spoke, he began to move my hips again, slowly and sensually to rekindle the flame inside of me. I had no choice but to believe him, how could I not? "Remarkable intuitive... Compassionate, loving... Warm..." His lips were moving all over the place again, down my front, kissing the line of my bra as it pressed against my skin.

I could feel his cold hands around on my back, slowly and skilfully undoing the clasp that held my bra. I couldn't find it in me to object to what he wanted, I was too caught up in the pleasure, the silkiness of his sincere voice... I was lost in Edward. The garment loosened, and then hung uselessly. He casually led it down my arms, tossed it aside and drank in the sight of my body. I forgot to be awkward.

"Oh Bella." Edward whispered, and he kissed me again in earnest, pressing me entirely to him. I melted over him, his cold sent another fire through my body again. I forgot everything but him. "I love you."

"Edward... I love you too."


That's like my first shot at anything actually um... Kind of slightly lemony (?) And cue an explosion because of embarrassment. (Boom) Okay, two things to say. One, I might continue this, depends on the amount of people who want me to finish the scene. Two, I know it bombs. (cries) Just be merciful, alright? No flames. T.T