It was an odd feeling... How suddenly I became less awkward with him, how I just forgot to feel strange. His cool hands clasped me against him, stroked my skin in a slow sensual movement, and kissed me so deeply and gently that I was blown away by the sheer emotion that was held in such a tiny gesture.
And I knew, as strange as it was for me, it couldn't be any less strange for him. I could read him like a book now, just like he could read me. I saw his hesitation warring with the yearning in him. I couldn't help but wonder what the hesitation was really about. Was he scared to hurt me, like we had tentively discussed before? Or was he scared he'd screw up and look like a fool when he was trying his best to be sensual?
The thought nearly made me laugh. It was odd now, realizing just how much alike we were despite the grand differences between us. Me as a human, him as a vampire... But in the end, at the end of the day, we were just the same. Two awkward teenagers (figuratively speaking of course), struggling with the concept of our first love.
I really wish they would explain that in the books I read, it wasn't as effortless as it looked. The awkwardness of the first sight of your future lover's body and all. We could still be children.
He relied on instinct as much as I did, his hands moved sleekly up my sides, memorizing me. His lips searched for mine constantly, even though I had to break every so often for air. But that didn't bother him, the second I pulled away his lips found my throat, pressing butterfly kisses to my sensitive skin. It was really hard not to laugh and spoil the mood.
He sighed against my ear, his body always moving casually against mine. It wasn't hard to find that familiar but weird rhythm that my body knew better than my mind. He whispered my name again, he sounded almost breathless. I shivered. Oh no, please no... And then it slid out, I giggled.
He froze, then pulled away to look at me with a puzzled expression. That didn't help very much, I started giggling again. Oh no, now I was being a total idiot! I hid my face, kicking myself inwardly for each giggle that slipped out. "I'm sorry!" I mumbled through my fingers, thanking God that my voice was muffled and didn't sound too hysterical. To me anyway.
I expected him to pull away, to be displeased with my stupid and childish behaviour. Honestly, who laughed at such a tense and sexual moment? But I was stunned, he chuckled into my throat too, honestly sounding amused too. He looked up, dark eyes glittering with amusement.
I was blushing again, I was frequently being taken by surprise by these vampires. I couldn't expect anything. He clutched me against him, one arm tight around my waist as his other began to comb through my ruffled hair. He kissed the tip of my nose, chuckling quietly, "Sorry... I forgot that you were ticklish..."
"Way to ruin the mood, huh?" I murmured apologetically, still kicking myself for being a total moron. I was now counting the ways this afternoon could totally go wrong, and every single thing was because of me.
"No... That was natural." Edward replied calmly, and I was surprised yet again. He smiled at me, leaning backwards. I was still on top of him, straddling him really, arms thrown around his shoulders rather uselessly and his arms secured me there. His left hand flew up, cupping my ace and cradling it there. He spoke low, saving his musical voice just for me, "This..." He gestured to us, our bodies basically entwined, melting into each other, "This is natural... Nothing could ruin the mood."
I stupidly answered, "Not even Jane?"
The way he set his mouth made me giggle again, I hid my face in his neck, I couldn't help it. He chuckled too, kissing my ear as his hands began to rub my back and shoulders, rekindling the flame. "I stand corrected then, love... They could ruin the mood..." And as fast as lightning, he rolled me over, so he hovered on top of me, eyes boring holes into mine. "But they aren't here. It's just you and I."
The way he said that, it sent a delicious thrill through me. I had thought there was no way for me to desire him more, that I was already past the obsessed level, and there was no going further. But I'd been wrong, seriously wrong. This desire was insane, it flooded my head, ruining any thoughts. And no matter how much he stoked the flame, it only grew wilder.
He somehow knew that, the talking was over now, the fire was spreading through both of us now again. He wasn't ice to my touch anymore, I was beyond feeling that now. He was my other half, the part my soft body needed to be completed. And my instincts took over again.
His hands were in my hair, mouth pushing gently but hungrily against mine. His body was moving again, that old as time sensual motion that had me wanting to cry for more. More. Could I even take more of this sin?
My shoulder-devil, as I will now call her, resurfaced long enough to give me another hard kick in the rear, and then told my rationality to shut the hell up. I agreed quite wholeheartedly. God I'm a dork.
"You know..." I groaned against his mouth, kissing him again as I got some of my breath back, "This would work better if you took your pants off."
He broke away from me again, kissing my neck like he wanted to avoid this topic. I wasn't having any of that, I was on top of him with nothing but underwear, he was so taking his pants off if he wanted to make this even. The way he moved his mouth against my skin, carving out circles with his tongue, it had my eyes rolling back in my head, I nearly forgot about my argument.
A full throated moan suddenly escaped me when his cold hands slid down my sides, and did something I didn't expect at all. He hadn't taken my waist like he'd done last time, he secured my lower half and moved it slowly against his. The sound that escaped me actually made me quite shocked with myself. I mewed like a kitten when his hips were moving in that slow thrusting motion against mine, he controlled my body himself.
But a snide little voice told me it'd feel better if he was out of those damn jeans. And that carnal want kicked my mind's butt. Slowly, afraid to incur some strange mood in him, I reached down between us, brushing my fingertips against that rather impressive bulge in his pants.
He threw his head back, hips jerking up at the contact so quickly that I nearly flinched back. But I couldn't, curiosity spurred me on. He liked that? I did it again, now really intrigued. He groaned, his hips bucked again, the contact nearly had me groaning too. I touched the zipper to his fly, tweaking it carefully. Then I started to pull it down.
His hands flew out, catching my wrists. A reflex reaction it looked like. His dark eyes bored into mine, I wasn't sure if I'd made him angry or not, the expression there was unfathomable. He sighed in defeat after a second, and then released my hands. His voice was rough, shamed, "I'm... sorry... I'm a bit... Uncomfortable as well... This is my first time as well you know... I'm not sure..."
"It's okay." Where had that come from? I barely remembered forming a thought let alone saying a word. I smiled weakly at myself, it was alright. This wouldn't be perfect, life wasn't the movies. It was going to be tense, awkward, new. I undid his zipper all the way down, and he slid easily out of his jeans, exposing his pale blue boxers. I nearly gaped, but my natural embarrassment saved me.
That bulge looked way more impressive with his pants off.
He smiled crookedly at me, I knew he was still uncomfortable, and probably embarrassed too. I decided taking a leaf out of his book wouldn't hurt, and I kissed him this time, a long deep one that he gladly seemed to respond to. I broke away before he could, my lips still inches from his when I murmured, "Don't feel embarrassed. I want to see every inch of you too."
That seemed to ease him, he'd tightened his hold and was kissing me hard again. The fire was growing, electricity crackling down my skin, it was unbearable. My hands tangled in his hair as his lips moved down my front, and ended at the band of my underwear. My body jerked on its own, reacting to him. He chuckled against my stomach.
"You as well...?" He asked me in a low husky voice, kissing my stomach again, exhaling slowly on my skin. Goosebumps raced up my arms, and I arched into the touch. It felt so good.
"Are you ready then...?" He asked me, his voice was low, tense, excited. And that got me shivering all over again. I couldn't speak, I just nodded, that seemed to be enough for him.
He loomed overtop of me, his dark eyes studying face. And then his cold fingers tugged on my underwear, tugging it down before with painful patience, removing it entirely from me. I was naked now to his hungry gaze, and that really excited him.
"Your turn." I mumbled, I could barely get the words out I was so nervous.
He just nodded, and he did the same to himself and I did stare this time, but only for a moment that seemed way longer then it was. I didn't know if he chuckled, I could barely think beyond the sudden pounding that had taken up residence in my head. It had the same rhythm as our hips had from before, was in sync with the rapid throbbing that was left in my lower body, it took me over.
He looked at me again, one last time, his eyes asking for permission, body poised above me. He wasn't going to take this any further than I wanted, he'd made that clear to me. Even with his inner demon screaming at him to take the little he could get, he would not move.
I nodded again, and condemned myself.
I don't know what I expected, what I should have expected either. I had no experience, any raunchy scenes I had viewed in movies or read in books, nothing was going to help me now.
His hands touched my hips, gently easing me into the blanket that was still somehow spread out below us. His lips met mine again, with such gentleness that I was astounded. And again, again the damned creature, he made me forget. My eyes closed, and I melted into that embrace one more time. Complete.
Ha. My own ignorance still astounds me.
I'd wanted more. I'd needed more for reasons that still escape me. And then I had more.
My eyes snapped open, but I was blind. My body jerked, but I was pushed against stone, immobile. The throbbing had ceased for one heart-stopping instant, and I turned deaf. But I could feel. Oh could I feel. In that instant, the thing I had known as my body, wasn't mine anymore.
It was all his. He was inside me, pushing slowly, tentively. I knew why he was being so painfully slow, and that pain was literal. I had to close my eyes again, grit my teeth and strain against him as he invaded me gain, inch by agonizing inch. He found what I'd been worried about, and with a fast push, he broke what made me innocent.
I cried out, reflexively. It was stunning to feel pain after all that build-up, that crazy pleasure that made me... Well, crazy. He kissed me, smothering my groan. I could hear him distantly muttering to me, his voice apologetic but still so gruff, "I'm sorry love... But it will feel better soon... I promise..."
His hand drifted down between our connection, I only felt it as a cold breeze. And then his hand was there, in the middle of that world of heat that caused my throbbing. He touched me, and a wild lightning bolt of pleasure climbed up my spine, my body jerked, and he suddenly was deeper. More.
The throbbing was back, this time it was angry, ringing in my ears. More, it whispered, more, more, more. And that was my want now too. More. My hips were moving before his were.
It didn't matter now, that I had no experience, that he had no idea what he was doing either really. Our bodies knew what to do, knew what we had to do. Our minds locked away behind primal instinct, a twisted mix of lust and love took over.
His body grinded hard, his weight only added to the insanity that was sweeping me away. I knew, as hard as he moved, it wasn't as furious as he was capable of. I mourned that for about a second, I couldn't keep up with my own thoughts, it was just his body and mine.
My legs had moved on their own, locking around his waist, anchoring myself to his beat. It was madness, my body burned cold, his lips were everywhere, I didn't know how to breathe.
I stiffened more as each moment passed, somewhere in the pit of me, my stomach was curling tighter and tighter, swirling higher and higher... I didn't know what I was waiting for, why I kept moving in circles but I didn't care. I had him. That was what mattered, it was all that mattered.
"Edward." I moaned. His name. It echoed endlessly in my head, sending more fire to the tips of my fingers and down to my curled toes. "Edward!"
"Bella." He answered me, calling out from the fog that was covering my eyes and capturing my body. He was growling uncontrollably, the vibrations from his chest against mine really didn't help. Mor shudders rocked me, the pleasure caught my body and held in tight.
Too tight. I threw my head back against the ground, and my body spasmed as the pleasure crashed out of my control. I screamed, it was too much, just too much. I bucked one last time into him, hopelessly seeking for him to press against me. He did, with a roar that shattered the silence and deafened me for a moment, he stiffened against me as well.
And then it was over.
He caught himself at the last minute, and collapsed beside me on the blanket. I groaned again, aftershocks rocking my body. Much smaller little bursts of pleasure, but enough to rock my tender body each time they decided to cross me. He was panting into my hair, eyes screwed tightly shut and his body shivering along with mine.
It took me forever to get my bearings, even longer to open my eyes and look at the angel beside me. He'd wrapped us both in the blanket, resting me against his chest. It didn't feel cold anymore, I was rather pleasantly warm. He whispered into my hair, voice oddly hoarse, "Bella... Bella..."
"Right here." I managed to mumble back, my throat was sore. I remembered with an odd tickle in my stomach that it was probably because I'd been making sounds I really wasn't used to making. I nuzzled into his neck, his rock skin gave me no headway but it felt fine regardless.
"That..." He couldn't find words, that surprised me. But a lot had surprised me today, what was one more to add to the list? He kissed me everywhere again, his cold lips soothing to my still tense muscles. "Bella. You're amazing."
I laughed shakily, looking up at him with a little smile of my own. "Considering things, I'm the best you ever had."
He laughed, his voice was as weak as mine. He nuzzled into my neck, cold breath blowing casually against my skin. It was pleasant, like a cool breeze on a hot day. "And I suppose that makes me the best you have ever had... I believe I can live with that..."
Yes... We both could.
I was half ready to just fall asleep right there, holed up tight in the blanket and his arms, forever complete and forever content. And words came back to me on the brink of my ease into unconsciousness.
The ice cream, definitelya good idea.
I grinned half consciously to myself against's Edward's marble skin. I loved that little vampire.
(giggles very nervously) My first official lemon for EB. I'm going to explode due extreme blood-flow to the face because of embarrassment in three... Two... One... (cue explosion) That's me all over the walls XD (still laughing nervously) I'm not going to get over that... And I'm kinda certain it sorta blows but we won't go there, heheh.
To all the readers (bows) Thank you all. If anybody's interested in reading more from me, feel free to shoot out suggestions in reviews or pms, I'm open to anything! Thanks again! Now if you excuse me, I need to put myself back together...