this is my first ever fanfiction so please review on how to improve.
Disclaimer: course I don't own Naruto
The sky was sunny and ecstatic kids were greeting their equally happy parents. They were all kids from the ninja academy. They passed. They were lucky.
One boy wasn't cheering happily and playing around. No, he hadnt passed. he wasnt ecstatic. And he didnt have any parents. or familt for that matter. He was the Demon gaki. The loser. The nobody. The pathetic moron you couldnt perform a simple bushin. He was the container, The container, and the only thing standing between Konoha, and destruction. He was Naruto
Naruto sat on the swing outside the academy. "stupid bushin, stupid Iruka, stupid test. Why is the bunshin so goddamn hard.
Naruto was busy in his cursing of all sorts of things when Mizuki hopped down with an evil look in his eye. "hey there Naruto." He greeted the downsome boy. 'finally my chance to take advantage of the kyuubi brat'.
Naruto saw this look right away, he was'nt a fool, he just acted one, He had decided early in his life that he had done wrong once. Maybe a prank gone too far. Or for the wrong person. Either way there was no way to make up for it, but still he wasn't going to give the villagers satisfaction of hurting him. So he pretended, he faked. He hid behind a mask of happiness. Behind was cold indifference. Behind the bright orange jumpsuit was a young starving boy who could only afford ramen, a boy crying out for attention, affection, Acknowledgement . Behind his bright blue eyes was a terrible anger.
Naruto realised Mizuki was talking, he left his miserable thoughts, lifted his head and started listening.
"Iruka doesn't hate you, he just wants you to make it on your own." Naruto decided to play along to see where this was going.
"I know Mizuki-sensei. It's just so hard" he moaned looking sad.
"Well im gonna help you out kiddo. Just listen to me."
Naruto knew at once he was lying but he didn't care, he did it anyway. so what if the village got an excuse to beat him up. It wasn't like they needed one, the only person who cared was the old man, and he barely did much. Naruto knew he couldn't spend all his time after one child. He was Hokage. But still, maybe a bit more time. maybe some help with his jutsus.
Naruto left he thoughts and moved on. The scroll was awaiting him. Maybe he would learn a decent technique. He set off to the Hokage tower
Once Naruto had the scroll he ran to a hidden place in the forest that Mizuki told him about. It was a small glade in the forest. with a few trees here and there. He set down the scroll and plonked himself beside it. Then he started looking at it. The first jutsu was...
"Aww man the bushin, well I suppose it's Kage bushin which is better."
Naruto shrugged and started practising, it was hard work. But suprisingly he found it easy then the regular bushin. He was doing well and was just about to get it when he lost control of the chakra and used too much.
Naruto collapsed from chakra exaustion and fell into a deep sleep.
The glade fell into silence as he passed out. even the birds quietened sensing something was going to happen soon
In Naruto's Mindset
Naruto found himself in a dank sewer. It was dark and foreboding, The lights barely revealed much. He followed a path which seemend to go downhill till he reached a door. The was an inscription written upon it.
"'Seal' Huh?, well why not go in?" He opened the door cautiously
"What are you doing here kit." Came a deep ominous voice.
"What? Who are you?" Naruto asked casualy.
"You are not trembling in fear before me? Pathetic kit, do you not know who I am? I am the lord of the Bijuu! I am KYUUBI!" The beast roared this and Naruto stumbled back, the intensity of the slitted red eye was startling.
"Huh? didnt the 4th kill you though?" Asked Naruto confused.
"I cannot be killed by a mere mortal. No i am sealed within you. Enough, I have seen how you have been mistreated throughout your life and I know it is my fault, but I have decided to help now. All you have to do is rip a small piece of the seal on my bars. You will gain powers that will assist you to aspire and it will also forge a mental link between us."
"Why should i do that?!" Naruto shouted indignantly. If I do you will probably break free and kill indiscriminantly."
"Dont worry that won't happen, I give you my word as a Kitsune. Now do it before you wake!"
"Well I suppose." Naruto was unsure. He thought about what the consequences that it might have. Then just decided; 'What the hell, i dont owe this world anything, why not.' He ripped an approximate 1/8th off and then immediately collapsed to the floor.
"Oh yes, I forgot. It will hurt quite alot." Kyuubi laughed maliciosly while Naruto blacked out.
He woke up with his senses burning, his nose felt ultra sensitive and was picking up on all the differant senses in the woods, they seemed to burn into his frint impriting themselves should he ever scent them again. His ears were picking up on a mouse scuffing along the floor searching for food, while a squirrel jumped branch to branch. And then his eyes. he could even taste the stirring currents in the air. The area seemed clear apart from...
"Hah I found you! Nowhere to run now!"
"Iruka?" Naruto moaned, hearing his voice seemingly shouting in his ear.
"do you know what you've done?!" he roared.
"Umm only learned one technique from scroll Mizuki-sensei gave to me..." Naruto said innocently while thinking rapidly for a way out of the poblem he was in.
"Mizuki? WHAT, MIZUKI?" Shouted Iruka totally stunned.
"Yes Iruka, me. I told him to steal the scroll of sealing, then when gets the blame I'll be long gone and all POWERFULL!" ranted Mizuki. He was too busy gloating that he didnt notice Naruto slyly make a Kage bushin to sneak up behind Mizuki and bash him on the head. Mizuki noticed just before in hit and laughed at Naruto.
"How pathetic! the Demon child is nothing, your weak and pathetic Naruto. You want to know why the whole village hates you?!"
"Mizuki No!" shouted Iruka desperately.
"It's because of the..." he stopped to dodge a shuriken thrown by Naruto. he stared at Mizuki with unconcealed hatred behind red slitted eyes. They showed all the pain and anger, throughout his life. all piling to one objective. Revenge.
"Shut UP!" He screamed. "I AM NOT A DEMON! I AM NARUTO UZUMAKI! I AM NOT THE KYUUBI SEALED INSIDE ME!" his next roar was pure beast like and he charged Mizuki making the cross seal and shouted "Kage bushin no jutsu!" Hundreds of Narutos appeared round Mizuki and charged at him intending fully to beat the living daylights out of him. The Kage bushins split into for groups all attacking ferociously from all angles. They brutally ripped off his arms and legs. Mizuki's scream was heard all accross the Leaf village before it was silenced by a kunai through the throat.
"Scum." Naruto then turned to Iruka
Iruka watched on with fearful eyes, and when Naruto turned to face him he feared the worse, only to see Naruto collapse to the ground, the red eyes and malicious aura gone. And just pain in his deep blue eyes.
"I'm sorry Iruka." and with that he fainted.
And there is the beginning, could you call this a prolouge or chapter 1, I'll go with chapter 1.
Please review, more reviews means faster chapters.
Edit: I went through this and made some corrections. I also added more detail and basically enhanced it. Hope you like