A/N: This will be a series of one-shots using the quotes of the day from Breaking Dawn on Stephenie's site. It will kind of be like a worse case scenario of how the quotes could be used. The quotes will be in bold. I will be doing 5 quotes at a time to make it more interesting. Hope you like it.
Be prepared, this is a really long!
Disclaimer: I own Twilight (in my mind, which is not Stephenie's. so do I don't own Twilight)
"Alice we are NOT having bachelor and baccalaureate parties!" I shouted. It was less hen 2 weeks till the wedding and I was tired of her incessant questions.
"Please Edward! If you're going to do a wedding you have to do it right." She pleaded. "I'll play you for it. Rock, paper, scissors."
"Why don't you just tell me who wins?"
"I do. Excellent." I rolled my eyes. Sometimes having a psychic sister is annoying, scratch that, having a psychic sister is annoying ALL the time. Her thoughts were a whirlwind of ideas of things we could do, who to invite, and where to go.
"But, you have to tell Bella and you have to keep all activities within the continental United States."
"Edward!" she whined. I had seen many thoughts of traveling to remote tropical islands and taking tours of Europe.
"Alice, remember, there's going to be humans there too."
She sighed again; me reminding her had ruined many of the plans.
"Fine you can tell Bella, and I'll keep the activities low-key."
I snorted with laughter. Alice? Low-key? The very idea was unimaginable.
I ran to Bella's house. It was 10:30 and I was coming back for the night. I climbed up the tree next to her house and deftly jumped through her open window.
"Hello again love."
"Hola prometido!" She said.
"Are you all right Bella?" I asked. I wondered if the impending wedding was affecting her sanity.
"Si! I just had a pot of coffee though! And some chocolate and some candy and some ice cream." I sighed. Bella obviously does not hold her caffeine and sugar very well.
"Why don't you go to bed early to night?"
"But I'm still wide awake! I'm not going to sleep ALL NIGHT. I have to practice you know. I'm going to be a vampire soon."
"Bella, be quiet you don't want Charlie to come up here do you?" I said even though I knew Charlie was fast asleep in the recliner in the living room with the TV blaring.
"I don't care! As long as I have you here, I'm the happiest person in the world!" She said. If caffeine affected her this much, I definitely did not want to see Bella drunk.
"Bella you should really go to sleep early tonight. I think Alice has a busy day planned out for us. I believe on the agenda is the final fitting of your dress, the tent is coming, and she wants you to make the final decisions on which centerpieces to use."
"But I don't want to go to sleep." She said like a little child.
I sighed; I couldn't resist her puppy dog eyes and pout.
"Fine, you can stay up all night if you wish." I could only hope that she would fall asleep soon.
"Yeah!" she squealed and gave me a tight hug. "We'll have so much fun! It will be just like as sleepover! We can play twister and have a dance off and prank call Carlisle and sneak out and tell secretes and play truth or dare and…"
"Okay Bella, I know what happens at sleepovers. I've seen enough bad chick flick movies for one lifetime if not two."
She nodded, and looked a little disappointed.
"Let's tell secretes first." I said hoping that if I went along with her plans it would make her happier. As soon as I said it, her face light up again.
"So did I ever tell you how much I LOVE oranges? They are the best! They are so sweet and yummy. When I lived in Arizona, we would get really, really good ones from California…"
By the end of the night when Bella finally fell asleep at 5:30 AM, I was beginning to wonder if it was actually Bella, or if Alice and her had switched places to annoy me. She spent an hour and a half talking just about oranges and how much she loved them. Then she made me run to the store and buy her 2 dozen oranges. When I got back she said she didn't like oranges any more!
Then she made me tell her a secrete. I said that I loved my car and piano almost as much as I loved her. And she said that she already knew that and that I wasn't good at this game. Then to determine what games I was good at she made me play every board game she could find. And she won every time! Than, we played cards and she one EVERY time. Finally she said the only game that I must be good at is truth or dare. So we played that for a while and she decided that I lost and I wasn't good at any games. How can you lose at truth or dare?
Then we prank called almost everyone who had a number in the Forks phone book. When she got tired of that she made me paint her toenails for her. Then she wanted to paint my toenails. I said no, and she started to cry. So now my toenails are painted fluorescent green and pink. After that she said she was going to go to bed now. So she got in bed turned off the lights and proceeded to talk with me for the next hour. I must have said something funny because she started to have a spastic laughing fit. She has giggling uncontrollably for 15 minutes strait. Every so often she would gasp for air and then resume laughing. Abruptly, she stopped and said
"I'm better now."
Then fell asleep. I was watching her sleep now and she was mumbling things like,
"Edward… twister… Edward…prank…loser…Edward….wedding…Edward…."
At 1:30 in the afternoon, Bella groggily woke up.
"Edward." She yawned. "What happened last night? I have a killer headache and all I can remember is that I really like oranges and you're a loser."
"You were on a caffeine and sugar high and had an overly cliché sleepover with me as your guest."
"God! Who let me have coffee again?"
"I think you did love."
"Ugh!" she groaned. She rolled over and tried to go back to sleep.
"No way Bella!" Alice said. When did she get here? She handed Bella a glass of water and some pills. "Here take these, go take a shower and you'll feel better when you come out."
"Alice I'm too tired. I just want to sleep."
"Bella, I have the wedding of the century to plan and it's yours and it's in a little more than a week! Now get up. Your dress is going to be at the house soon and I want to make sure it will fit perfectly."
"Are you a physic or not? Don't you all ready know if it will fit or not?"
"Yes, but I want to see it on you."
Bella sighed defeated and rolled out of bed. She grabbed the pills from Alice and took 3 of them. Then she slowly walked to the bathroom and took her shower. She came back looking refreshed and slightly less tired. We got in the car and went back to the house.
I was so tired that I could barely keep my eyes open. I kept drifting to sleep on the car ride to the Cullen's. Once I got there though I was wide awake. I had to be. There was so much going on that if I was sleeping I would get run into. There were crews of workers running all over the place carrying tables and chairs to the large tent that I assume had been set up earlier this morning. A delivery truck pulled in and when it opened the door inside the truck was bolts and bolts of midnight blue shimmery fabric. I had no clue what Alice could possibly need that much fabric for. It's so sad that I don't know half the details about my own wedding.
I walked into the house and was only greeted by more chaos. There were large floral center pieces set up on the dining table, people running to and fro. People with clipboards and earpieces that where obviously waiting to talk with Alice, or possibly me.
"Common Bella, your dress is upstairs in my room. Edward, you know the rules, you need to stay down here."
Edward rolled his eyes.
"I've already seen the dress plenty of times in your thoughts."
"But you haven't actually seen it and you wont until your wedding day." She said as she whisked me up the stairs.
She set me down on the love seat in her walk-in-closet that was as big as my room. My dress was reserved a special spot in her closet and there here no other clothes within 2 feet of it. I was surprised that Alice had that much room to spare until I remembered that Alice was Alice and probably had another closet somewhere in the house that was even bigger.
"Bella, I want to see your dress on you."
I sighed; there was no point in arguing with her. I quickly changed in to the dress. I turned around and looked at my self in Alice's full length mirror. I had to admit, I looked absolutely beautiful in the dress. My sallow skin and dark bags around my eyes my me look almost like a vampire. My slightly damp hair hung limply around my face and threw the whole look off though. Alice must have noticed because before I could blink she was back with a clip to put my hair up. It made me look a little bit more like a bride. The truth hadn't really set in yet, that I was actually going to get married. But seeing myself in my wedding dress had made the truth come crashing down on me. I started to cry. Alice seeing the tears start to run down my face whisked the dress off of me with super human speed before any tears could reach the fabric.
Why hadn't I realized that it was coming so soon? In a little more than a week I would be married and would never see any of my human family again. Why hadn't I spent more time with Charlie? With Renee? Alice handed me my clothes back and I slowly got dressed, all the while tears were dripping off my face.
Edward came in and pulled me in to his ice cold embrace. I sobbed on his shoulder, soaking his shirt.
"What's wrong Love?"
"It's just I realized that I wasted time that I could have spent with Charlie. And that I won't see him again after the wedding." I continued to sob. Edward scooped me up bridal style and carried me down to the living room. He set me down n the couch with my head against his shoulder. Eventually, I stood up and wiped the tears off my face. Emmett came up to me and tried to give me a big bear hug.
"Emmett, touch me and I will personally destroy every video gaming system you own."
Emmett laughed and pulled me into a bone-crushing hug against my will.
"Oooo, scary." He said sarcastically. Emmett Cullen messed with the wrong grizzly bear with to little hibernation today. As soon as Emmett let go of me, I was not at all feeling better, I was just feeling mad. I stormed off into the Cullen's game room.
"She wasn't kidding you know." I heard Edward say.
"Oh crap!" Emmett shouted and ran as fast as he could with humans around to the game room.
I looked at the extensive amount of game systems the Cullen's had. I looked around the room for something heavy. Yes! There was a large metal vase that would work perfectly. I picked it up by its neck and pulled out the first console.
Score! It was the X-box 360 that he had just gotten for Christmas. I brought the vase down hard and with a crunch the X-box was annihilated! I pulled out the next console, the PS3! I was bringing the vase down again but something caught it on the down swing. It was Emmett.
"Please Bella! I'm begging you please don't wreck the PS3! I will do anything for you! Please! Please!" he pleaded.
"Anything?" I asked. I had plans in mind.
"Anything! I haven't beaten the new Wall-E game!"
I burst out laughing,
"Isn't Wall-E for little kids?"
"Yeah." Emmett answered meekly. "But that doesn't mean I can't play it."
"Emmett I do believe that you are over 80 years old. Shouldn't you be over this by now?"
"I'm a kid at heart!" he retorted.
"Fine than, I order you to act like a little kid for the next three days."
"Okay Auntie Bella!" he said in an amusingly high-pitched voice. I couldn't help but giggle.
'You are not allowed to walk, you can only crawl. I f you do need to walk you can't go more than 5 steps without falling down. You can only baby talk and you must wear a diaper and suck on a pacifier for all three days."
"But Auntie Bella, where's my paci?" shoot, he was almost too good at this.
"I'll pick up everything you need at the store later today."
"Thank you Auntie Bella!" and then he crawled away. Something told me that his easy acceptation of his punishment meant he has going to retaliate later.
I went to the store later and felt a little awkward buying adult sized diapers, a pacifier, bibs, and a rattle. I didn't bother to explain to the cashier why I was buying these items, but the whole time he was giving me weird looks. I got back and gave the stuff to Emmett. He went to go change and when he came out he was wearing nothing but a diaper and a bib. I t was the funniest thing that I had ever seen. I burst out laughing and started rolling on the floor. He stuck a pacifier in his mouth and crawled away like nothing has the matter. Soon the rest of the house was in hysterics. Even the very business-like people with clipboards let a giggle escape their lips. Emmett took no notice of anything and just continued to crawl through the house. Eventually the laughter subsided. Edward found me again and gave me a light kiss.
"You are a genius! I can't believe you actually got him to do it."
"I can't either."
"Here come sit down there's something I need to tell you." I was a little worried. What could he need to tell me? "Jasper come here. I need you to keep Bella calm why I tell her this."
That just caused me to freak out more. What could he possibly need to tell me that would require Jasper assistance? I felt the waves of calm hit me and I almost immediately fell asleep.
"Jasper, can you lay off the calm waves just like a little bit so I'll be awake when Edward tells me."
"Sorry." I instantly felt relief.
"Bella, I might as well tell you flat out. Alice is planning bachelor and baccalaureate parties for the both of us."
I could instantly see why he wanted Jasper around.
"I told Alice I didn't want a baccalaureate party!"
"Sorry Love, I lost rock, paper, scissors to her."
"Is there any game you can win?"
"Actually I'm quite good at baseball."
"Well that just because you have superpowers. Anyways baseball is a weird sport."
"Well first of all when a batter gets a walk, he jogs to first base. Second, if you're not a good runner, but can bat well, you can have someone run the bases for you. Third, they play on grass and dirt, but if the ball gets dirty they get a new one! Fourth you have to get up and sing!"
"Okay Bella, I get your point, but baseball is a national pastime."
"Whatever, that doesn't make it not weird!"
"Bella I think that sentence is a double negative."
I growled at Edward. I was too tired to formulate my sentences clearly.
"Well I'm sorry! You're the one who kept me up all night!"
"No Bella, you were the one who decided to stay up all night."
"Well why didn't you try to make me go to sleep."
"Oh! Sorry, I guess I'm just a little moody from lack of sleep."
"You can say that again!" Jasper shouted from the living room. I blushed, my emotions must be affecting him a lot. I could hear Emmett's booming laughter coming from upstairs, he must have heard this whole conversation. Then my cell phone started to ring. It was the annoying generic tone that came with the phone. Alice had set that strangely reflected the person's personality for all the people that called me often so it must be a wrong number. I picked it up anyways.
"Hi, is this Bella?"
Yeah, who is this?" I asked even though I had a sneaking suspicion because of the annoying voice at the other end.
"It's Mike, I just wanted to call you to tell you that I am going to propose to Jessica and I wanted to tell you first because I think that you've had feelings for me and I didn't want to upset you."
He was clearly out of the loop, all of Forks had known about Edward's engagement for months. I decided to play with him.
"Oh, Mike! How will I go on?" I said sarcastically. I heard elated whooping on the other line. I guess my voice wasn't dripping with enough sarcasm.
"Mike, I'm getting married to Edward in a week. We've been engaged for months. Where have you been?"
"Oh! Is right!" I said icily. "Bye Mike."
I punched the end button. I turned around and found Edward on the floor in hysterics.
"What is so funny!"
"Mike…thought… you were….interested!"
"Yeah so funny!" I said. I rolled my eyes. From the sound of it the rest of the house was laughing too. I growled. The laughter stopped, well almost except for Emmett, of course.
"Emmett!" that shut him up.
There was a knock on the door then a second later a very beautiful blonde was standing next to Edward.
"Ah, Edward, I've missed you." It must be Tanya.
"Hello Tanya." Edward said with a cold edge to his voice. What was today? Attack of the unwanted crushes? First Mike, still lusting after me, now Tanya trying to allure Edward again? I glared at her.
"No worries, Bella is it?, I have given up trying to steal Edward's heart."
I still watched her closely though.
"So are the rest of your coven here?" I asked.
"I thought you weren't coming until 2 days before the wedding?"
"Alice called and she wanted us to come for your baccalaureate party."
I groaned. She just had to bring it up.
"When exactly is she planning to have this party?"
I groaned again. I did not have time to mentally prepare myself for this!
"Who else did she invite!" I said to no one in particular. There was a gust of wind and Alice had appeared in the room.
"Tanya's coven, Rosalie, Esme, Angela, Jessica, and Renee."
"Renee?" I asked excitedly.
"Yeah she's meeting us in Seattle. I got her on a flight this morning."
I jumped up and down with excitement. Renee wasn't suppose to be here for another 2 days. Something came to me and I immediately I stopped.
"Alice, what are we doing, exactly?"
"Oh, you'll find out."
"Well, what are the boys doing for Edwards bachelor party?"
"I'm not telling you that either."
"Fine then, I'll go ask Jasper. He'll tell me!" I ran to the living room.
"Jasper? What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You're not taking him to a strip club, are you?" He laughed. "Please tell me! No one else is."
"Don't worry about it." I felt a wave of calm sweep over me. Stupid empathic vampire!