AN;; Chapters are short, but I've already completed the story so it'll be updated quickly. D All in all, this is a three chaptered story with a epilogue to tie things up. So I hope you all enjoy it and please review!


It really wouldn't have surprised Harry if the whole world had just heard his surprised exclamation of disgust. Honestly, though, he really couldn't give a flying fuck. What he had just discovered was humanly impossible, well, for a young man anyway. He hadn't been feeling all that well lately; the advice from Hermione, Ginny and Ron had been to go and get a check up. Well, now he just wished that he had died with his head down the toilet bowl, drowning in his own vomit. So, now you've got that lovely picture in your mind on how Harry wished he had died, we'll move on, shall we?

Harry was currently sitting on the hospital bed, getting pissed off with all the damn whiteness and cleanliness – ooh, and being pregnant, so he decided to drown himself instead in his own self pity.

Harry could see the headlines now. Harry Potter: Boy Wonder, otherwise known as the man who saved the wizarding world, is pregnant! Turn to page two for more. Harry snorted in disgust, even his imagination was thinking in newspaper print. He turned his face away as Hermione came into the room and sat beside his bed, and he could hear Ron casting up a storm in the waiting bay, demanding to knock some sense into his friend. He just couldn't believe that it was a real and wanted to punch Harry for coming up with such a ridiculous prank. There was a silence between the two seated friends, well, besides the fact that Hermione was continuously clearing her throat trying to get Harry to say something first. So, deciding to give in, because that sound was so damn annoying, he did.

"I'm pregnant."

"I know. Can I know who the father is?"

"I am."

"No, you're the mother. Who is the father?"

"I am no woman, I am the father."

"Well, I'm certainly not the mother."

"Hermione, we've never had sex."

"Your point? Okay, fine tell me who the other father is."

"I'm not gay, Hermione, I've never had sex with a male before."

"Harry, to get pregnant you need to have sperm injected into you. Unless you somehow managed to have sex with yourself."

"Okay, fine, I'm gay. Happy now?"

"Well…I'm certainly happier that you've decided to stop lying. It'd make me happier if you told me who the father is."

"I already told you, I'm the father."

Hermione sighed as she started rubbing her temples; it was obvious she was getting no where fast with this. Who ever the other father was, Harry obviously didn't want to share the information, unless….

"Do you know who the other father is?"

"Of course I bloody well know, I don't go around screwing tons of guys 'til I don't remember them anymore."

Harry had obviously been insulted by this as he covered his head with the blanket and refused to acknowledge Hermione anymore. Well, this promised to be fun as Harry was moody and unpredictable on the best of the days. The bushy haired woman could only imagine what he'd be like pregnant; giving a shiver at the future tantrums that she was imagining, she stood and looked at the blanket-covered lump for a little bit before walking out the room. It was time to send in the next person to try and get some answers out of him.

Contestant number two; Ginny Weasley. She had once dated the Harry Potter currently in question, though that interest had clearly vanished since Harry discovered that he wasn't attracted to the female gender. After that had been explained to one Ginny Weasley, the ignoring Harry Potter stage had only lasted six months, instead of the rest of their very long lives, now that Voldemort was dead and all.

Harry snuggled into the blankets more when he heard someone else walk into the room. He knew it wasn't Hermione because Hermione hadn't been wearing high heels before. This woman was, so it could only be one of two people. Ginny. The other idea had been Fleur, and her being there was unlikely as Umbridge showing up to give her warm congratulations.

"Harry, would you like to talk about anything?"

"No, not really, I'm perfectly okay," Harry replied simply. This was definitely Ginny; if the voice didn't give it away, then the way she was slowly going around a question she wanted to ask was obvious.

"Oh well, okay then. Are you sure? You know I'm here for you, right? I've been pregnant twice already, as you know…and if you need any advice…."

"I think it's a bit different for me. You know, being male and everything. You knew you'd be pregnant one day…I thought I'd get someone pregnant. Funny how things work out, right?"

"I think it's a blessing, personally. It doesn't happen that often and for a gay couple, it's the best thing ever."

"I don't have a partner, it was a one night stand."

"Oh. Well, you have your friends. You know we'll do anything for you."

"Yes, I know."

"Can I ask who the father is?"

"You can, I'm the father – as I've already told Hermione."

"I mean the other father, Harry. I assume you do know who it is, right?"

Harry ignored her. Really, how rude! Why the hell did everyone think that he wouldn't remember the man he had sex with? Did he somehow come across as a man whore, who went to some place where he didn't even know of the identity of the person he had sex with? Sure, it had been a one night stand but hell. It was the only one night stand that he had ever had. Actually, he really couldn't count it as a one night stand. It was more a five or six hour play session, since he had woken up alone. There had been no goodbyes, no words shared after the play session. Harry could feel Ginny growing uncomfortable, and was pleasantly pleased about it. Served her right.

Once she left, though, and another person entered, he instantly regretted not making her stay longer somehow. These foot steps were that of a man, and a very annoyed one at that. What idiot sent in Ron while Harry was in this state? Thankfully, before Ron could do anything to indefinitely damage the life long friendship between the two Gryffindors, his ever-faithful wife forcefully made him leave the room. Now Harry wasn't as annoyed at Hermione as he had been previously; she had just saved him after all. They had more people to send in, though, he knew it. This wouldn't be the last of them.

Twins. Two sets of footsteps, those boys never left each others side…well, as far as Harry knew. As they began talking, he didn't even bother to try and figure out which one it was. For his own sanity, he just counted them as one person for the time being.

"Harry, mate, don't listen to those girls."

" Yeah, they've got no idea what you're going through."

"Neither do you."

"True. But we are guys…."

"…And more capable of understanding…."

"…Even though…."

"…We've never been pregnant."

"Perhaps. Could you tell me about the morning sickness, the strange cravings, why my insides suddenly feel like my outsides?"

"No But we can distract you…."

"…By torturing people you don't like…."

"…With our latest products."

"You're right, you do understand me better. As long as you don't get in trouble. Remember, I own shares in your business. I'm not funding a lawyer so you guys don't get sued."

"No worries."

"Okay then, if you say so."

"Yeah, we have plenty of our own money to get a lawyer."

Harry chuckled gently; he loved the twins to bits. Not in the gay sort of way, they were like brothers or close friends, similar to the position that Ron held in his life, though no one could replace Ron. They always knew how to cheer him up, even if it was only slightly.

"Oh and, Harry, we really don't care either way…."

"…But Hermione told us to ask who thei other father is."

"Tell her that I know who the father is, but I just don't feel like sharing it at this point in time."

"Okay, one more thing. We all tried to stop them…"

"…Buti Daily Prophet writers have managed to work out that you're in here…."

"…And you're pregnant. It will most likely be…"

"…On the front page in tomorrow's edition."

"I figured as much. Can you tell Hermione to mind her own business long enough so I can get some sleep? I'm tired."

"Sure."

"Sleep well, Harry."

The raven-haired man listened to the two men leave his hospital room. He strained his ears to be able to hear the conversation between the twins and everyone else that wanted to be there for Harry. Smiling to himself, he blocked them out once they had all come to the conclusion to let him sleep for the time being. He could always count on the twins to protect him, even if it was from other family members. Bringing his head back up from underneath the blankets, he removed his new snazzy glasses that Ginny had bought for him. Apparently, she was getting sick of the old circular glasses, and thought that rectangular would make him look smarter. Placing his hands on his stomach gently, he drifted to sleep his mind, thinking on how on earth the baby would come out of his body.

It never once even entered Harry's mind to have the baby terminated. And all his friends knew better then to suggest such a thing, for it was completely against Harry's character.

A baby couldn't be all that hard anyway, right?