Chapter 29: What Happens Next

IT IS DONE. AFTER ROUGHLY OVER A YEAR OF PROCRASTINATING AND STUFF, IT. IS. DONE. The chapter, that is. o wo I feel somewhat accomplished now 'cause I thought I'd abandon this or something. But no. EVEN IF IT TAKES A MILLENNIUM, IT SHALL BE DONE. But yeah, enjoy and stuff. ENJOY THE CRAPTACULAR ACTION. :D


Last time on PKC: Abridged...

a): "Hey, kid, I didn't say you could touch my Pidgeotto like that!"

"Pfft, freak."

The little kid in the khaki shorts and giant sunglasses stuck out his tongue at Falkner before scurrying off in the opposite direction. A gym leader should've known better than to let pipsqueaks be involved in his plans, especially if it involved attracting pretty girls. Taking his vacation from gym leader duties after the incident with the Underground, Falkner had spent the majority of his time so far in Kanto trying to grab a date with a lady or several, particularly a bluish-green haired girl with a brilliant attitude. He distanced himself from those drooling, nosebleeding jerks that only wanted some putang. In the art of romance, he declared, a man should be chivalrous, brave, and willing to walk the bases very slowly, or everything will fall apart. It had been several months now since Kris Staller had first met his eyes, and he wasn't about to give up now. She had to go through at least five more gyms. That gave him roughly ten to fifteen chapters.

He wiggled closer to the side of the tree as he dangled his legs from the branches, about ten feet from the ground. If he was just a bit closer to the ground, he would've chased after that snot-nosed punk. Even more importantly, though, if only that kid was in his juridisiction of the law. The law enforcers of Celadon City had made it quite clear to him that vigilantes were not welcomed very much around their part of town. That included both vigilante actions and ill-intentioned citizen arrests. So if he wanted to pick a bone with those snot-nosed kids who kept trying to fly his Pidgeotto, he'd have to wait until Kanto went bankrupt and went hands and knees to Johto for a loan. Or if he took it out to Saffron. Either way his master plans would work out to his advantage, because he was fairly smart, and smart people usually got their way.

There was something that bothered him, though. Somehow he had a sick feeling that somewhere somebody was watching him, with interest. It was that same feeling that he got when he was training at his father's pre-teen police academy a few years ago. You always think you're safe until the drug-addicted robber played by the next-door neighbor puts a water gun (cleverly disguised as a heavy machine gun) to the back of your head and demands you to give him all of your pocket change. Then you and your friends scramble around the ground trying to find the emergency exit, just to find out as you find it that it's been closed shut with hot glue. Oh, no, Falcon, you can't expect a way out every time. You gotta face this sh*t like a MAN. COURAGE OR NO SURVIVORS. IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT TO TELL YOUR CHILDREN, THAT YOU CHICKENED OUT LIKE A BUCK-TOOTH LOSER?! AND DON'T GIVE ME THAT "I-HAVE-TO-WEAR-BRACES-,POPS" CRAP-

"How interesting. Tell me more."

"D-w- WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP HERE ?!"


b): Green enjoyed her trips between Kanto and Johto as she continued to leisurely pursue the menacing chicken bird, Ho-oh. Many people her age wanted to be trainers and have exciting adventures across the landscape, but there wasn't much that she actually wanted to see. Her dreams involved making friends, watching hot romances develop, and tormenting enemies. And since none of those tasks took much effort, she was free as any of those nasty pigeons living across the street.

Her current mission right now was enjoying the sights of Olivine City. As expected from the other places she had visited in Johto, there wasn't much to visit, other than a rowdy sailor bar that gave her a free apple pie and some beer. This had led her to the last place which could be even remotely interesting - the lighthouse. When she had visited the rowdy sailor bar, a couple of the rowdy sailors informed her that the gym leader often made camp there because of her pokemon. Jasmine was rumored to be one of the best, beautiful, and bright of the Johto gym leaders, magnetizing trainers with her carefree attitude, polite manners, and steel pokemon. It would be a shame if she let this one pass without a knee-breaking alliance, just because of forces like missed opportunities and...and Dave.

The girl grumbled under her breath and continued up the stairs. It would do her no good if she darkened her cheerful ambitions with her enemies. She managed to clear the floors, encountering some very strange and smelly folks along the way, until finally reaching her destination. On the main floor, a giggling Amphy was scrolling through the pages of underwear and questionable-looking guns. Next to him was Jasmine, who was blushing even though she was kicking the angry hard drive. Upon one look at a frilly piece of lingerie, the blush spread to Green's face. "What the hell, mang?"

"AAA-oh, uhh, we're just on Tumblr checking out news posts," Jasmine rushed, kicking the hard drive harder. She turned to Amphy and glared at him, pointing to the screen. "You know this isn't your age rating ! Turn it back to the news tags, Amphy !"

"Panty and Stocking, huh? That shouldn't be out here for at least another four years. You getting that from those prissy people in the Unova region ?"

"TURN IT BACK, AMPHY !"

The Ampharos made haste to exit out of the questionable images as Green's sweatdrops grew bigger. Jasmine stretched her arms and winced, also beginning to sweatdrop. She stared at Green for a minute, then back at the computer screen. "I'm-I'm sorry. I don't usually get worked up over little mistakes like this, but Amphy sensed something, and then I stumbled over something a little disturbing and I-I-I got distracted. Something seems to be going down in Celadon City today."

"Celadon City ? Sh- that's where Kris is heading !"

"Kris ? Kris Staller, you know her ?"

"Yeah, we're besties ! Go, Jiggly !"

Jasmine gasped as Green grabbed onto a Wigglytuff's legs and began to climb out the windowsill. "Wait a minute ! Where are you going ?"

"I gotta make it to Goldenrod's next train ride as soon as possible! Name's Green, gonna help catch the baddies, so don't worry ! CIAO ~!"


c):

"I'M ON A BLIMP ! I'M ON A BLIMP ! TAKE A GOOD, HARD LOOK AT THE MOTHERF_KING BLIMP !"

Silver sighed as he floated on top of the long piece of cardboard that used to be a box. He laid back down and stared at the pokemon who helped him balance the thing. Toto the Totodile seemed to enjoy their abandoned situation in the middle of the body of water, while the sneezing Yuk kept clawing at his padlocked poke ball. Neither were too bad at fighting, so maybe Staller was right about caring about pokemon. Of course, she never actually said that to him, but the illusion of her actually being nice was kind of comforting. Actually having a normal conversation with her would be comforting, but she was always screwing up his name. Probably on purpose, too.

He groaned. No matter how he felt about her, it was her fault that he got stuck in this mess, alone and abandoned in the middle of the border between Cerulean City and the East. The East People had already warned him that if he even breathed past their border, they wouldn't be hesitant to blow him up with underwater landmines. The only was back now was to hope that the wind brought them back to safety toward Cerulean...or ask Toto to simply use Surf, but that was too typical and trainer-like. Reputations had to be kept.

But he guessed it wasn't all Kris's fault. Today's issue had a lot to do with that chick that looked a lot like her. He knew he shouldn't have taken that ride from her and proceed to eat her poisoned gummy worms, which gave him severe diarrhea following the unlikely side effect of unconsciousness. It didn't tip him off, though, because most crazy chicks often gave people hospitality. And then Lance swooped in with his stupid dragons and picked up said crazy chick, which totally tipped him off to the ultimate maximum and also left him in the middle of nowhere. He wasn't the smartest guy on the block, but he even knew that something bad had to be going down soon. For Lance to need crazy chicks like that meant he was back to his former diabolical planing again. Typical dragon trainer.

So he was on a blimp, or rather on the cardboard. He turned over on his side and sighed again, shutting his eyes. The pokemon rested against his feet, taking a note from their trainer by also getting some shut-eye. There was not much for a washed-up character to do on a Friday afternoon.


(AND NOW...)

"Ooh, what does this button do ?"

"I swear I will break every bone in your hand if you dare to try to touch something in my car."

Gold hastily placed his hands back in his lap and scooted closer to Yellow, who looked repulsed. Neither of them enjoyed each other's backseat company, but Gold had managed to dive into the car without any noticeable injuries and the menacing Umbreon was on Yellow's other side, so the boy was forced to sit next to the blond, lest he be turned into mincemeat. Despite this precaution, however, the odds were pretty stacked against him. There was the Umbreon, and Yellow's worsening mood, and the even worse worsening mood of the driver, Elite Four member Karen.

In the front seat, Kris held onto Bob as she clutched her head and tried to enjoy the ride toward Celadon City. The tunnel actually wasn't that bad. It was mostly a hippie light show that was part of a knockoff of one of Sega's tunnel schemes, complete with a couple of blue-painted porcupines. It brought back the feelings of why Kris wanted to switch to their turf. That wasn't necessarily the problem, however. Yellow and she were riding with probably the most dangerous member of the Elite Four to Celadon City, just because of a simple head injury. And Karen was definitely not one to accept 'no' as any answer...not without too much bodily harm, anyway. At least they could rest their feet for a small period of time.

The bigger issue was the creep in the backseat. Of course he wouldn't leave them alone, even after Karen threatened to stop the car and throw him off into the hippie tunnel. Hopefully they would drive to Celadon and then somehow lose him, most likely through a mob of angry women. But there was still a couple of hours to go, and no one was very happy to have Gold on their team. Maybe Karen would go through with any of her several threats before their trip was complete. She wasn't really much of a joker.

A light breeze began to form. Wanting to not kill anyone in an expensive sportscar, Kris sighed and held onto Bob tighter as Karen stopped the car in the midst of traffic. It seemed it didn't take much to aggravate the Elite Four member. "Damn traffic," she muttered. "Never useful at the right time."

"Meep!"

"Ahh, that's true. Can't be helped." Karen looked over her shoulder and smiled at Yellow, then turned around and looked at Kris. "Your head feeling any better, girlie?"

"Uhh, yeah. Should be fine by the time we get to Celadon."

"Good. That's what I wanna hear. None of this pansy crap. The creep in the back can learn something from you. What was his name? Greg...George...I'm not good with guy names. Took me forever to remember Will's. But nah, it's not that important."

"Not important ?! Hey, lady, my name's Gold Caramel! You should be honored to learn such an awesome trainer's name like mi-"

"DID I ASK YOU YOUR NAME?!"

"Uhhh, no?"

"THEN YOU WILL SHUT UP WHILE I AM TALKING TO MY GIRLIE, OR I WILL THROW YOU RIGHT IN THIS TRAFFIC."

"...yes, ma'am."

Gold huffed and grumbled under his breath, making sure that he was not heard by those in the front seat. Karen rolled her eyes. "Boys. Really could care less what his name is. Got no reason to babysit him, isn't that right?"

Kris nodded. "He's been like that forever. Sadly you get used to him."

"Tsk, I'd have hurt him to a bloody pulp a long time ago."

"I have. Doesn't work."

"Ahh, the little masochist, eh? Well, he hasn't experienced my kind of pain yet. Needs to watch himself, don't you, Goldy-boy?"

"...yeah..."

"Good boy. It's pretty obvious to you now that I always get my way. Part of being a privileged member of society." Karen smirked, tapping against the steering wheel. Any opposition would surely make one of her threats true, everyone in the car realized. Her confidence was plenty proof enough. "I'll stop messing with you for now, though. My business relates to you, Miss Staller. Miss Schwarz, since you're her company, you should probably listen to this, too."

"Meep!"

Karen sighed. "Right. So ever since the incident with the Underground, there's been a lot of strange crap going on. It seems as if there's been a rise in crime, and for once it's not due to Team Rocket having a bf. From the reports we've been getting, it's mostly been harassment calls so far, but there have also been incidents of robberies, vandalism, and general roughhousing. Really just a pain in the ass.

"But Will insists that something is wrong, pffft. Texted me to remind you ladies about these horrible crimes. Either way you should be on the lookout, but don't drive yourself nuts. I think we'll have this in control within a couple of weeks. He really worries too much."

Kris nodded again. It was far better to agree with Karen than to express other opinions. She wasn't about to worry that much about roughhousers, anyway. They (minus Gold) were probably some of the best fighters in the Kanto region. Any stupid roughhouser that tried to mess with them would be pulverized like a plate of spaghetti.

Karen seemed to appreciate the blind enthusiasm, yet that was short-lived as her expression quickly soured. They were out of the traffic now, but one of the cars stuck close to the side, slow but steady with their pace. The sportscar weaved through passing traffic and stoplights, only to have the other car repeat its movements. Yellow and Gold watched with interest, while Kris grimaced and Karen cursed. "Always the damn crazies trying to get my autograph," she muttered. "The stuff that some of these people do."

She stepped on the gas, but the other car continued to match the speed. Kris wondered how tough the Elite Four members really had to be in order to function as top trainers. Dealing with terrorists and stalkers on a daily basis had to be tough, and- and was somebody shooting at them now?

That question was answered as five bullets whizzed over their heads. Karen cursed again and pressed a button to place the roof back over their heads. She made a sharp turn and smacked her hands on the steering wheel. "I hate these crazy people ! Probably some of those stupid roughhousers Will was talking about. Looks like we may have ourselves a high-speed chase, ladies."

"Meep !"

"Yep, looks that way."

"Anything we can do?"

"Sure you can, Miss Staller. Go reach into the back and throw your dumb lackey boy into the road. If we're lucky they'll crash and all of our problems will be solved."

"And plan B is ?..."

"Try and crash them with a more difficult approach. Goldy-boy, go ahead and roll down your window so Umbreon can get a crack at these losers. You can be that useful, right?"

"Yeah, sure..."

As soon as Gold rolled his window down, the Umbreon hopped onto his lap, digging its sharp claws into the boy's pants. It ignored the boy's protests as it unleashed a deadly-looking Shadow Ball in the other car's direction. The target hit; the other car did a couple of 360s before slamming into a stop sign.

Triumphant of its hit, Umbreon wagged its tail, smacking Gold into the face and making Yellow chuckle. Gold glared at her, helpless with the pokemon on its lap. "It's not funny, Shorty !" he moaned. "If you want this heavy mutt on you, you can trade places with me !"

"Meep meep !"

"No, I don't speak Spanish. Speak in the English !"

"Can't you ever stop acting like an ass ?!" Kris snapped. "You're very welcome to get out of the car now. It's not like we even invited you to come along and join us !"

Gold huffed, turning red. "It's not like you to be so direct, baby ! You used to be so gentle breaking news to me, and now you're turning into like one of our parents ! Whatever happened to being like us and not like them, Kris ?!"

BRICK'D !

"F-K OFF !"

"REEEEEEEE !"

SMASH !

A pair of angry hooves smashed through the roof and almost knocked Kris in the head. The car swerved slightly and almost crashed into a tree as Karen cursed. The other car had already recovered from its crash and was quickly gaining on them, out for a crashing vengeance. Kris wondered if riding in the car was actually the right decision for her head injuries. These crazies really were out for blood if they decided to still chase them even after being hit by a Shadow Ball which looked like it could smash a semitruck.

She looked above at the smashed roof and angry hooves. The two front hooves were gray, but the fur above them was half-yellow, half-brown. There weren't many hooved pokemon to begin with, but the annoying sounds it made gave her a good idea of its identity. "Girafarig."

"God, those things with the alien tails ?" Karen asked, groaning. "I don't need a freakin' giraffe on my car. I paid a lotta money on this. Lemme try to shake it off."

Karen made the car fly down a hill, halting a couple of popsicle stands and angry popsicle stand owners. Neither the Girafarig nor the rival car lost their tail, both working together in a menacing fashion. The Girafarig flailed its hooves in the roof hole, continuing to knock Kris's head each time; the rival car's distance was getting closer and closer, and judging from its equal recklessness, it would not spare any bullets this time.

On Kris's lap Bob began to groan and wiggle under her. He wasn't looking well at the beginning of their ride, but Kris had thought that maybe he just had a severe case of carsickness. But unless turning almost gray was a sign of extreme carsickness, he was probably dying. Kris always had her doubts of how long the Chikorita would actually survive. He was never the healthiest pokemon with his obsessive weed usage...not that Scarlet's Cyndaquil was any healthier, but still. Between the Girafarig and the crazy other car, if they survived she probably should've dropped him off at a Pokemon Center or something. But that was too much work, and he was glowing a little.

Wait, what?

And that was when she decided to throw Bob out the window.

The Chikorita gasped for air and began to run for its life, panting away as the other car wasn't too far from them now. Both Yellow and Gold were yelling at her now for what seemed to be coldhearted abuse, even for her. Even Karen looked surprise at the action. But what was done had to be done. For the hope of their survival, it had to be done.

She pressed against the door handle. Either this was a really good or a really bad idea. If it was the latter, no doubt she'd probably die a violent death. But as she jumped out of the car, the latter did not happen and she was able to jump onto a newly-evolved Bayleef despite the annoying, 'DOO-DOO-DOO, YOUR POKEMON HAS EVOLVED' noise that evolutions made. Bob the Bayleef was now taller and stockier, no doubt a result from the constant munchies as a Chikorita. He was just as confused as the rest of the people from Karen's car, since he was neither athletic or intelligent or even groomed twice a week. Somewhere in his mind, maybe it was because he cared about his trainer and thought it would be better if he could actually help out for once, to not be a slacker and all that jazz.

Or maybe he just couldn't help himself.

Kris grinned and wrapped her arms around Bob's neck. Try to wreck the car while she had a head injury, did they? She thought not. "Bob, it'd be pretty swell if you'd use Vine Whip right about now!"

"Baaay."

The Bayleef huffed and puffed a little but managed to get a few scraggly vines out of its backside. Not the best Vine Whip by any means, but it would do for this particular occasion. Bob directed the vines to the flailing Girafarig on top of the car, who was now eyeing him, dumbstruck. With a couple of flicks, he managed to wrap the vines around the pokemon's legs and tug him out of the roofhole.

"You got this?" Kris asked him.

"Bayleef?"

"No, you can't just go in the car anymore! You'd take up the whole backseat!"

"Bay bay!"

"...I don't care if you still do that..."

"Bay!"

"So it's a go?"

"Bay bay!"

"Then it's a go! Finish this one off!"

Bob nodded and dragged the Girafarig off the car in one fling. Before the Girafarig could even try to struggle, Bob flung him right smack into the other car. The other car did another couple of 360s as it struggled to keep control this time; Girafarig snorted and rolled off of the hood, angered that such an incompetent and inferior being could outdo itself. As Karen slowed the car down and the others watched the action, the two pokemon were now neck and neck, determined to cripple the other.

Kris gripped her pokemon's neck tighter as the Girafarig countered with a Psybeam. The attack hit Bob's side, and he yelped out in pain as it left a small scorching mark right by one of his legs. Yet somehow he was in the heat of the moment, and he reared his head, bracing himself for whatever attacks Girafarig could dish out to him. A couple of Psybeams, a Shadow Ball or two, which were harsher than the Psybeams and left bigger marks, and then it hit. A (fairly) graceful Solarbeam came out of the Bayleef's mouth, SHOOOM, and smacked Girafarig with a great force that would've never been expected out of such a pokemon as Bob. FWOOOOOOSH, and the Girafarig flew into the sky, swirlies popping out of its eyes as it landed directly on top of the car again. This time the other car skidded to a halt as the pokemon's hooves smashed into the windshield, shooting glass everywhere.

And then someone came out, gun in hand, completely masked from head to toe. The person called Girafarig into its poke ball into and began to shoot in their direction, but Kris, Bob, and the others were already out of range. At least until the gunner quickly caught up, shooting at them while riding a Tyranitar.

"Mew help us all," Kris muttered, dodging several bullets as she nuzzled into Bob's neck. This had to go beyond the crazy obsessions of fanboys and fangirls. The Tyranitar was joining in the rampage with its trainer, creating giant potholes in the road with a nasty Earthquake. If it wasn't careful enough, it would kill them all, even its own trainer. Maybe not such a bad thing for the pokemon, but Kris didn't want to go out this way. If she was gonna die in this script-ridding hellhole, it was going to be the right way.

Karen pulled the car to the side, allowing Kris and the pursuers to take up the whole road. She was soon joined by Yellow and Dodrio, clutching her hat as they went up against Tyranitar's other side. This gave Tyranitar fewer options as Dodrio slammed into it in an attempt to redirect its focus from obliterating the road. For a few seconds, this worked, and Tyranitar slowed its pace in confusion.

Then RAAAAAGHHH as instead of obliterating the road, the ground beast tossed a Hyper Beam right into Yellow's chest. The girl groaned and fell off of her pokemon, smacking against the pavement. This enraged Dodrio, who squawked and jumped on top of the Tyranitar, kicking the trainer off of its enemy. Trying to shake Dodrio off, the Tyranitar roared and thrashed before falling off into the grass. The two pokemon wrestled with each other, punching and kicking and biting until one of them admitted defeat.

Meanwhile Kris pulled Bob to go toward Yellow's direction. The gunner was already making the escape, running in the other direction. A few seconds later, Tyranitar followed, smacking Dodrio's head once more for its satisfaction. But neither Kris or Dodrio cared as they ran to Yellow's side. The girl coughed and meeped as she leaned against the tree. It didn't look like she had too much damage done, but now she was in the same club as Kris and her head injury. As she looked up at Kris, she smiled. "Meep, rice sword."

"Yeah, rice sword," Kris repeated, grinning. "You okay?"

Yellow wiggled her fingers in a gesture that suggested she was pretty okay. Dodrio nuzzled against her hand with each of its beaks, creating small marks along her palm. Kris couldn't help still grinning at the blonde and her pokemon. They had saved the day and the roads, though the crazy person and the Tyranitar were gone. But that couldn't be helped. Crazies like that knew all the ropes to escaping.

She continued to stare at Yellow and Dodrio exchanging affections. Karen joined her with crossed arms, examining any possible damage. "Look at what kind of adventures I get to have when traveling with company."

"Must be the power of rotten kids."

Karen snorted. "Guess so. Could be worse company, though. Never carpool with the Elite Four."

"'Kay. Should we start walking now?"

"What, and let you two die somewhere and make me responsible? Nah, I'll be generous and let you to ride the rest of the way to Celadon. But first," Karen paused, pointing in the car's direction, "do something about this guy."

They walked back over to the car, where Gold was upchucking his past few meals in the nearby grass. Looking as green as a goblin, the boy made a few more noises before collapsing onto his own vomit. Kris wrinkled and looked back at Karen. "Do I have to, or can I have Yellow do it?"

"Either way. I don't want him riding in my frickin' car smelling like that."

Yellow walked over to the scene and stared at the vulnerable Gold. She also wrinkled her nose and then proceeded to start kicking him. The boy gasped in surprise before flailing in the grass, screaming at Yellow to stop. Kris couldn't help but grin again at the team. It wasn't the best day ever, but the scene was still hilarious. Maybe things would turn out better. Maybe they would all go to Celadon as merry people and fight for justice and actually become successful protagonists.

"KRIS, I NEED YOU TO CLEAN UP MY VOMIT! IT'S GONNA GET ALL STALE ON ME!"

Or maybe she would continue to think about transferring to Sega.

End