Fandom: "Dude, Where's My Car?"
Rating: R (for sexual situations bbetween two men/b)
Disclaimer: These characters are the property of 20th Century Fox.
Summary: Just a shorty with the "dudes."
Title: "Shibby, Shibby, Shake" by mako
Without a doubt, he was a sucky boyfriend.
Jesse stared at his bedroom ceiling from the comfort of his
mattress, squirming past the sharp edge of a Topps baseball
card, hopefully one that wasn't worth any substantial amount
of money. His collection wasn't what it used to be -- he had
to stop falling asleep with it tucked between his knees where
it ended up more sorry than safe.
"Dude, quit moving around," said the muffled voice beside
him, the body accompanying it no doubt ruining whatever
was left of his cards.
Jesse sighed. "Sorry, dude." Everything had gone wrong,
more or less, and he tucked his hands behind his head,
philosophically pondering his predicament.
No one could blame the twins for the angry message they left
breaking off their relationship with both Jesse and Chester
for good -- he supposed it must have been quite the shock to
discover their boyfriends in bed with someone else.
Both of them. At the same time.
Making it with each other.
In the twins' bed.
Yeah, that was definitely rude and uncalled for. But it had
overcome both Jesse and Chester so suddenly. They were so
sure their time for sex with the twins had finally, and
blessedly, come, but by the time the girls came back all
decked out in their finest pink lingerie, it didn't matter
Jesse and Chester found that the space between them had
disappeared and being wrapped up in each others' arms,
sucking on each others' lower lips, grinding together each
others' hoo-hoos (not that either had honest-to-goodness hoo-
hoos) was the very hottest, very best, "special treat" of all.
Of course, the girls could have waited the two minutes until
they were done to throw them out.
It had been a long walk home from the twins' house but once
they'd reached their apartment, it was as if they'd never
been interrupted at all. The entire night was spent together,
and between pudding, the shibby and the sex, it was as
perfect as any night might have been.
Still, Jesse couldn't get over his nagging sense of
guilt. "Man," he breathed. "We are sucky boyfriends."
Chester peeked sleepily over the top of the blanket, his
blonde hair an unruly mess. "No we're not," he said firmly.
"Remember? They said we weren't their boyfriends anymore.
So technically, we are not sucky boyfriends."
Jessie blinked. "Well ... yeah ... I guess," he said
hesitantly. He looked over at his bed partner, wondering at
his lack of discomfort, smiling inwardly at the warm impulse
to rub Chester's shaggy blonde head. It was scary, this new
feeling he had for his best friend, but it was great as well.
Imagine, having sex with someone you liked spending the rest
of the day with too -- did it get any better than that?
"In fact, if we think about it, we're great boyfriends,"
said Chester stoutly.
Confused, Jesse blinked. "How do you figure that?"
"Well, look at it like this, dude." Chester squirmed up and
snuggled against Jesse's shoulder. "If we were the twins'
boyfriends still, then we'd be sucky boyfriends, correct?"
Jesse nodded. "Correct."
"But since we're no longer their boyfriends, according to
their own definition of boyfriend, we can no longer be
defined as "sucky." Is this also correct?" Chester paused
expectantly, opening one eye and training it on Jesse. "I
ask, is this correct, dude?"
Jesse stared at the ceiling for a long moment, letting the
words slowly circulate their ponderous way through a brain
that wasn't as quick as it was before he'd discovered the
spicy, smokey beauty of The Shibby. "Yes. I'd say this was
correct," he replied.
"Okay, dude. Now, since we have proven we are not "sucky"
boyfriends, how will we get from that point to proving that
we are great boyfriends?" Chester propped himself up on
his elbow and leaned down until his eyelashes were brushing
lightly against Jesse's, making them both smile.
Jesse tilted his lips up and gently kissed Chester, enjoying
the flush of excitement and happiness that crept through him.
"I dunno, dude. Maybe you should tell me," he whispered,
licking lightly along Chester's mouth, tasting a lingering
touch of pot smoke and chocolate pudding.
"Okay." Chester's voice lowered to a whisper as well.
"Since you and I are no longer the twins' boyfriends but
someone else's boyfriends, and that someone else loves us
like crazy just the way we are, no matter what, and we are
totally into that person while making them happy twenty-four
hours a day without a complaint, I'd say that you and
I, dude, are great boyfriends ... without a doubt." He
leaned in and kissed Jesse triumphantly. "See?"
Jesse pulled away from the kiss. His eyes flashed. "Wait a
minute, dude," he said, horrified. "Whose boyfriend are you?
You didn't tell me about being somebody else's boyfriend."
He sat up and pounded the pillow. "I can't believe this. You
got another boyfriend already?!"
Chester looked confused for a long minute. "No ... wait ...
no," he said, shaking his head. Geez, they were definitely
smoking waaaaay too much shibby these days. "What I meant
was that we are each other's boyfriends now and ..." He
paused shyly. "I think you're a great boyfriend, man. I
mean, I totally love hanging with you, and playing thumb wars
with you, and working at Mr. Pizzacolli's with you, and being
shibby with you and ..." He took Jesse's face between his
hands and held it there, grinning. "Doing everything with
you. Even this ..."
He kissed Jesse again, this time deeply, swiping his tongue
against Jesse's, letting his hands roam down the smooth, slim
body beneath him, enjoying the response.
So warm and smooth and ...
"Sweet," Jesse moaned against his mouth.
"Uh, huh." Chester nipped at Jesse's earlobe, running his
fingers through the dark brown hair surrounding it. "Totally
"So we're great boyfriends now?" Jesse arched beneath him,
cupping Chester's ass with his hands pulling him close and
grinding up hard against him. "I'm yours and you're mine?"
"Oh yeah," Chester breathed, bending down to capture a peaked
nipple with his lips. "You're the best boyfriend I ever had."
"Thanks, dude," Jesse groaned, feeling release coming quickly
and not caring in the slightest. It was all way too good and
he hoped with all his heart it never ... ever, ended. "And
you're the best I ever had."
"The very best." Chester's eyes squeezed shut and they both
came without warning, hot, sweaty stickiness covering them.
A deep breath taken, and Chester laughed lightly against
Jesse's shoulder. "And guess what?"
Jesse nuzzled him happily. "What?"
Chester smiled against his cheek. "This can be our new
anniversary. No more presents for a whole 'nuther year, dude."
"Awesome." Jesse held up his hand and their palms met, as
laughter rang throughout the bedroom.
It was definitely going to be the best of times.
Without a doubt.