Leave It to the Professionals

(Personal note : if you do try to attempt any stunts that Inuyasha and Miroku are about to do, then you will probably die. Or suffer. We dunno.)

" Hi ! I am Inuyasha ! " Inuyasha chirped. " The lovable half-demon. "

" And I'm Miroku. I'm not a demon. I'M A BUDDHIST ! "

Inuyasha nodded. " Anyway, we're here to show you some stuff that happens off screen of Inuyasha ! "

" Yep ! So, kick back, relax, and remember - "

(Both) " Leave it to the professionals ! "


(Number One - Set Shippo's tail on fire.)

Miroku gave an unnerving grin. " Okay. We all know Shippo as the annoying little bastard that looks like he's half-squirrel. And, his tail seems like his prized possession. "

(Inuyasha) " Or something like that. "

" Right. So what would happen if we set Shippo's tail on fire ? "

Inuyasha shrugged. " He'd probably be pissed off at us, like that one time when we gave him bird food for his birthday. "

" Yeah...so...let's go. "

Miroku and Inuyasha creeped over to where Shippo was sleeping. Inuyasha stuck a syringe into his arm. " Okay. Sedative is in. "

" YAY ! LET'S BURN THIS BITCH ! "

Inuyasha gave a broad grin as he lit up a match and threw it at Shippo's tail. The little demon stirred in his sleep but did not wake, even though mass amounts of smoke rose up to the sky. Miroku grinned. " Hehehe...it's funny. "


(Twenty minutes later...)

" DAH ! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY TAIL ?! "

Miroku shrugged. " I think the Cookie Monster stole it. "

Shippo pointed to his now ratted tail. " Is this some sort of flippin' joke ? "

Inuyasha nodded. " Yeah. But what are you gonna do about it ? "

" This ! "

He poofed into a feared person and his actual identity - Itachi Uchiha. Miroku's jaw dropped. " Inuyasha...RUN LIKE HEEEEEELLLL ! "

-poofx2-


(Number Two - Give Kagome a long skirt.)

Miroku put his hand behind his back. " Hey, Kagome. "

" Oh, hi, Miroku. What's up ? "

" Oh, well me and Inuyasha got you a present. "

Kagome jumped up and down. " Oh, wow ! Really ?! "

Inuyasha nodded. " Yep. Here you go. "

He handed Kagome a long box and she opened it. " Oh, wo- Is this a long skirt ?! " she demanded.

Miroku shrugged. " Thought it would look good on yo- "

SLAP ! PUNCH ! KICK !

" NO ! "

Kagome stomped off from the scene. Miroku rubbed his face. " Ow. "

" Yeah...that's why I keep away from her"


(Number Three - Get Sango pissed off)
(Note : Do not attempt this, even if you are really stoned. /.\)

" YAAAAAAH ! SANGO LIKES CLAY AIKEN ! SANGO LIKES CLAY AIKEN ! "

Inuyasha placed a boom box on the grond and turned up a song by Clay Aiken. The two men danced around Sango's house until...

" I'M GONNA KILL YOU ! "

She grabbed a chainsaw and the two sweatdropped.

-poof-


" And this is why you leave these stunts to the professionals, " Miroku ended. " I have a lot of stitches to prove it. "

" Ow. My ass hurts. "

" Quiet, Inuyasha ! "

" Oh, yeah ! Bring it on, Demon ! "

" I'M NOT A DEMON ! I'M A BUDDHIST ! "

" WHATEVER ! "

And so this program ends with Inuyasha and Miroku trying to kill each other, which anybody could do, even a five-year old.

End