uke - Stop asking questions, just read.
kyo - ... Use your imagination
Title: Dear You
Inspiration: Mika Nakashima's Yuki no Hana (listen to it, it's a beautiful song)
Summary: A letter, written by whom?
A teardrop falls past my cheek as I write these words to you. They are filled with the hope that one day you may understand me and acknowledge my feelings for you. I do not know of any other way to express the combined joy and pain that I feel. So I decided to write this to you. Even if WE may be too late, I hope you will live your life in stride and never look back on what could have become, what would have happened, what you should have said and why I didn't respond.
I'm sorry for all the grief I have given you. I wish, the only wish in my heart that, if recognised would give me such happiness. I wish for you to forgive me. My only prayer in this world, of all the prayers I've thrown into the heavens, was for you to love me. Only love and cherish me, that is all I asked of you.
But you refused.
And now I am cold, numb. Unrequited love, so bitter.
I am sorry, the lettering is smudged from my tears, I am becoming quite the bothersome sin you wouldn't sully your hands to protect. Forgive me, I do this out of love; want rater than obligation. In this time i see the things that make us so different, how i strive to be good enough for you. Though you are my life... my world... my love, my prayers fall on def ears. The ears of mine love that turned away even when I called with my most despondent voice.
But I will always remember, as i walk with you in the twilight, the way your hair glistened in the waining light. You were so beautiful. I wanted you then, so we'll hold each others hands always, that was my wish. If i can just be with you, it would make me cry because my heart would be filled with such joy that the dams holding it's rivers of excitement would not be able to withhold the flood of emotions coming from within.
And now, as the wind grows cold, my body embraces the feeling. Your warmth is lost to me. I can smell the scent of winter, it will come to this town soon. It was our season, the season that will bring us closer together... but you are gone, no way of returning. Now this winter seems mor harsh, more brutal, more lonely.
For me, that is, but how is it for you?
The first snow flowers of the year have already began their path to the earth, destined to wither away. Once i thought they would bring us close together. I would look into the sky, into the heavens. I'm watching this moment, this moment when you and I, we, became us. But O, only then would i think my blessings overflow. I would thank god in heaven for such a miracle.
Its not dependence or weakness, its just that i love you. Thats what i felt in my heart as I stared into God's Kingdom, his heaven. Wishing, only wishing, that there would be a place like that for me as well.
You and I.
I miss you. When you're here, no matter what happens, I am happy. If only i get to see you for a moment, my hearts sings, i begin to feel like i can overcome any obstacle. Whenever you are near, whenever you smile, whenever I hear your laugh, even now as I know you are read-in these words, I pray that days like this will continue on forever.
And now, as the wind rattles the window, i think of you. Even when the night shakes the world awake, dreams are lost and broken, I'll think of you... and I'll wait. No matter what sad things may happen, I will wait to comfort you, to hold you... I'll put on a smiling face for you, and only you. You who are my joy, the one I love will never see me cry as I am now.
I think of the snow flowers that float down, unlike you, they will always be outside the window. They don't know how to stop falling, you can never return. But unlike those flowers, my love for you is eternal, it will grow and blossom. The snow will fall and will continue to fall and will cover up our town, only in the winter of my feelings for you, for as soon as it melts, my feeling will blossom anew.
So I will wait. I will wait for all time if needed.
I will not be selfish, to want to do something for somebody else, I discovered that is what love is. And if i were ever to lose you... I would not dare think of the state my heart would be in. That is why, with these words, all my love is poured forth, like waves beating on the rocky shore. To want to be close, to just see you, if given the choice, i would turn into a star and shine on you, just so when you looked into the heavens, I know it is my face you are searching for.
Even on a night wen my smile is wet with tears, like this night. When i can't hold the emotions that boil within, I'll search for you. even when you are gone, I'll always and forever be with you, because your memory will forever be sealed in my heart. O, that the world would be so cruel as to tear you away when I have yet a moment to say what lies within my heart.
I will stare at the first snow flowers of the year and pray, with all the courage and strength bestowed upon me by my predecessors that they will bring us close together. I long to hear the words, the day when you say, "As I'm watching this moment...my blessings overflow and my heart fills with joy." I may die before my prayers are realized.
I want you to know its not dependence or weakness, i just want to be with you like this for all time. Those are my modest thoughts. I would not dare to think of anything of yours to covet, I want you and only you. My tears fall, that is the proof of my honesty, my devotion, no one has ever remained in my heart the way that you have.
I know the pure white snow flowers will fall and cover this town. But when they are gone, I shall wait once more. And if you are still not here beside me once the return, I shall pray. I shall ask god in heaven to bring me to you, so that in his kingdom, we shall be together. Our time with one another may not be easily forgotten, it will keep us together and softly create a memory in our hearts of the two of us from now until forever.
My tears are becoming too much to bear...